APRIL FOOLS (T; HUMOR/ROMANCE: CC/DC; RPF)
(YES, It's BACK.)
Summary: It all begins when Chris decides to play a prank on the unsuspecting netizens of the CRISSCOLFER fandom with Darren none the wiser and it all snowballs into a huge riot… and a coming out? RPF. AU. (Open for prompts!)
Warning: RPF, coarse language, real people being real people. Not for Chillarren shippers of any shape, size or form.
Disclaimer: The persons depicted in this work of fiction do not necessarily engage in the activities as stated. No copyright infringement intended. This story is running on pure imagination and Gatorade only. Tumblr accounts mentioned are all fictional, unless I managed to put in something that does exist, I apologize. It is but a nasty coincidence and not intentional at all.
A/N: I ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. I'M STUCK IN A WRITER'S RUT AND THE ONLY WAY TO FREE MYSELF FROM IT IS TO INDULGE MY BUNNY'S RIDICULOUSNESS. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Happy April Fools! –C.
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April Fools
By: C.M. Oliver
©2014
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For Darwin. Thanks for giving me the idea, love.
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Chris Colfer was anything but petty. In fact, he had managed to cultivate an image so respectable, he would be the last person you would think that would play a trick on unsuspecting people. But an image was just that, an image. And Chris' could not do him any more disservice.
April 1st had a big red circle around it on Chris' planner, having been done months prior. You see, the mild-mannered, bright-eyed young man had a deep dark secret that no one, not even his boyfriend knew. Chris Colfer was a sucker for pranks –and with good reason. He never gets caught. That was probably the reason why nobody knew better of this hidden side of the multi-awarded actor/author.
Case in point was April Fools of 2012. The target was Ryan Murphy. The Glee Producer did nothing to upset Chris, no, that was not the point. Chris was not the TYPE to get revenge at all. Ryan simply had been in the forefront of the young actor's mind that year, nothing special. That year saw to Ryan walking around the set with melted sugar stuck in his shoes, sticky and sweet in the early spring sun for a day. Up to now, nobody knew who did it.
Another was last year's April Fools. The hair and make up department was the receiving end of Chris' playfully malicious antics. They were shooting the final episode of that season and all of a sudden, everyone who had gone to have their hair washed and blow-dried were sporting pink locks! To Chris' credit, the dye was washable, but still, seeing Dianna Agron rocking neon pink hair was such a treat, not to mention Lea Michele who almost cried upon seeing hair perfect do streaked in pink(she was only consoled when Teena told her it would come off with shampoo). Not one soul suspected a thing, not when the perpetrator himself staged a momentous storm-off upon the revelation of his new hair color. Chris even had Darren console him (Darren managed to avoid the catastrophe somehow). Speaking of Darren…
Chris faced his laptop. It was 11:59 p.m. of March 31st, exactly a minute before his favorite holiday (was it even a holiday?) arrived. The screen was open to a private Tumblr account that nobody but himself knew he maintained. A smile crossed his lips. Before that day, he had been completely unaware of what to do for this year's April Fools Day. It was not a working day, so anybody on the Glee set was off limits. And he'd never stoop as low as pranking Hannah. Not to mention the trouble he'd get in if he decided to fool his mom and dad. That only left one person…
The thing with Chris Colfer's pranks is that it never did harm anybody, nor was it private. If he did prank one particular person, the spectacle had to be seen by the public, or else, it would have only been wasted in his opinion. As Chris quickly racked his brains on how to execute the perfect prank, a post appeared on his dashboard.
It was a picture of Darren, Chord and Lea having lunch together onset. The post was pointing out the fact that Darren had made an effort to put his silver ring back on while on break from taping his 'Blaine' scenes. The post was tagged 'CRISSCOLFER', obviously citing that the ring itself was proof that there was something more than friendship going on between the two. Chris shook his head. They weren't far from the truth, in fact, it was spot on…
But the fandom did not know that. It was only pure speculation on their end. They did not know the fact that the ring did indeed come from Chris, bought from his and Darren's side trip to the Philippines where they got their matching tans…
They did not know that.
Perfect.
Chris quickly opened a link to create a new photo post. He uploaded a picture from his private album and quickly typed in a caption. With a grin, he tagged his post 'CRISSCOLFER' 'darren criss' and 'chris colfer' before hitting POST. As soon as it went live, he checked the clock. It read 12:15 a.m. Chris leaned back against his seat and sighed happily.
Happy April Fools.
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Meanwhile on Tumblr-verse…
The post came on at ungodly hour, from a relatively unknown blogger.
A teenage girl, known by followers as darrenchrislover saw it first. It was posted by one of the new blogs she was following: princechristophereverett21.
It was a photoset. On the left side was the photo of Darren having lunch with Chord and Lea, the suspicious silver ring on Darren's right middle finger encircled in yellow. The one in the middle was of Chris (or was it Kurt?) wearing the silver ring that had been closely associated with the Klaine engagement. Chris' ring, which was on his left ring finger, was also encircled in yellow. The photo to the right was of two intertwined hands, both wearing silver rings that suspiciously looked like the same ones -
HOLY. CRAP.
The teenage girl gasped out loud as she read the caption:
It's about time somebody pointed it out. Maybe 'Kurt' should buy 'Blaine' a ring too so 'Darren' doesn't have to take it off anymore. But then again, 'Chris' only puts his on while filming… is it because 'Darren' hasn't actually made THEM official? (cough* waiting for confirmation* cough).
And darrenchrislover never hit REBLOG faster in her entire life.
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Darren slept late that day, Tuesday, being a non-working day for him and for the rest of the Glee cast. It was already 10 in the morning when he opened his eyes. His usual morning routine was sparse without the need to look presentable for work: get off bed, trudge to his en suite, brush his teeth, wash his face, slump back down his bed and grab his phone to check for messages. Unlike his boyfriend, he really wasn't a coffee person.
Darren was ready to throw off his covers to begin his routine when his phone rang. He blindly groped for the offending piece of convenient technology and found it situated in his bedside table. Without looking at the screen, he swiped to answer the call.
"Hell –"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"
Darren groaned audibly. He could feel a headache coming on just by the sound of the voice on the other line.
"Good morning to you too, Rick –"
"What the fuck, Darren! This isn't GOOD! NOT AT ALL! This is bad! The worst –"
"I wish I knew what you were talking about, Ricky," Darren told his handler. "But I just woke up and I really haven't even brushed my teeth –"
"Forget that! Check your online accounts! We need to do damage control!"
"WHAT?" Darren felt the last strains of sleepiness depart him completely. "What the—"
"Just check Twitter!" Ricky yelled over the phone. "Or that infernal Tumblr! And get dressed in 30 minutes! I'll pick you up! We're going to Mia's –" The line went dead. Darren ran his fingers through his unruly curls and sighed. Maybe he needed that coffee after all. He decided that since Ricky was already blowing his top, it couldn't hurt to be presentable first before he checked what the hell was going on online. Something was always going on online. What did they call it again? Oh that's right… a riot. He wondered with a rueful smile what on earth had caused Twitter and Tumblr to blow up once more.
He was drying his hands on a towel when text message came in. Darren's smile widened when he saw from whom it came:
From: My Secret Boyfriend
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
I was wondering if you needed coffee today. I had some delivered. It should get to your door in 5.
-:-
To: My Secret Boyfriend
From: My Secret Boyfriend too
Should I be scared? Ricky practically blasted my ear off this morning. Something happened while I was sleeping, I gathered.
-:-
From: My Secret Boyfriend
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
Alla was livid. Ricky yelled at her too. I swear one day, she will kill him.
Is it bad if I say I can't wait?
And SOMETHING always happens while you were sleeping, Dare.
-:-
To: My Secret Boyfriend
From: My Secret Boyfriend too
You –did you just quote -?
Never mind.
So can you brief me on it? Or do I have to log on to my oft-neglected Tumblr account and find out myself?
Tell Alla to get in line.
-:-
From: My Secret Boyfriend
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
LOG IN. Get the coffee first. Talk to you later. I still need to get Alla off her 'kill Ricky' mode.
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Darren inhaled the scent of the Caramel Macchiato Chris sent him as he grabbed his laptop. He logged in to Tumblr: onlyrulersarestraight21. It had been a while since he was online so his ask box was expectedly filled, but he ignored that. He searched through the tags that might actually yield the answers he was looking for. He typed in 'CRISSCOLFER' and hit enter.
He almost spewed out the coffee in his mouth.
PHOTO SET
princechristophereverett21:
It's about time somebody pointed it out. Maybe 'Kurt' should buy 'Blaine' a ring too so 'Darren' doesn't have to take it off anymore. But then again, 'Chris' only puts his on while filming… is it because 'Darren' hasn't actually made THEM official? (cough* waiting for confirmation* cough).
darrenchrislover:
OMG! Chris was the one who brought THE RING. OMG! My feels! *dies*
donteverlookback:
WTF? This is real? REAL? Asdfjklrerkkmpf…
"(cough* waiting for confirmation* cough)" -Darren Criss, you have some explaining to do!
itcouldalwayshappenforever:
Is this even happening? 'Darren's' ring came from 'Chris'. 'Kurt's' ring came from 'Blaine'. And people say we're delusional? The names are obviously interchangeable.
klainewillalwayscomewhatmay:
I still don't get it. All I see is a picture of Darren with a ring, a picture of Chris (Kurt?) with a ring and a picture of two hands wearing matching silver rings that look like the ones Chris and Darren are wearing….
itcouldalwayshappenforever:
Are you blind? Check the positioning of the rings on the third picture. The larger hand on the left has his ring on the right middle finger where Darren wears his. The hand on the right has the ring on the left ring finger, similar to Chris' placement of it.
colfersmine4687:
DELUSIONAL.
vampireunicornsandskates:
/\ SHUT THE FUCK UP. Troll.
youmakemefeelsoyoungcc:
# princechristophereverett21 –SOURCE?
princechristophereverett21:
I never reveal my secrets.
colfersmine4687:
/\ Coz IT'S NOT REAL. This is another manip you delusional CC shippers come up with.
vampireunicornsandskates:
/\ I SAID, SHUT UP. Troll. No one cares what haters think. This is OUR TAG and you play by OUR rules. My babies are getting married!
princechristophereverett21:
I don't need to explain myself. Make of it what you want.
CRISSCOLFER IS ON.
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To say that Darren was flabbergasted was the ultimate understatement of the year. He knew exactly when and where that third photo was taken. It wasn't manipulated. Not at all. If any, it was CROPPED. Obviously, it was to preserve the identity of the two people in the same picture. The question was how did this blogger, princechristophereverett21 got a hold of it? It was a private shot for fuck's sake! Darren took a deep breath before clicking on the post. He debated on what to put under the last comment as it seemed that no one else had wanted to comment after the originating person made his statement:
CRISSCOLFER IS ON.
Oh, it definitely is, Darren thought. And how in the world did this blogger know about the ring Chris gave him? And a confirmation? What confirmation did they need? He was wearing the fucking ring for fuck's sake! The sound of a doorbell tore Darren away from his reveries. It should be Ricky. Let him stew for a few more minutes. Darren ignored the frantic ringing as he continued pondering on the post. He placed his tongue between his teeth before carefully typing out:
onlyrulersarestraight21:
What confirmation? Isn't this enough?
For emphasis, he attached his own photo with his right hand up, displaying the ring prominently in front of the camera. He then hit REBLOG.
"Darren! Open the door! We need to meet Mia in 15!" The pounding came on relentlessly. Darren sighed. He needed to face the music sooner or later. To be quite honest, he did not see the need to do "damage control" as Ricky put it. If anything, reacting to a "riot" would only add fuel to the fire. It was always the best recourse to ignore it, PR-wise. But since when did his PR ever make sense? Anything 'CRISSCOLFER' was always shut down with something 'MIARREN'. Hell, even Chris' PR hadn't stooped so low with their 'CHILL' propaganda. Darren decided to just coast along. His contract ends in a year and a half… then he can do whatever he wanted. He was about to close his laptop and meet an evidently upset Ricky by the door when he received a 'ping'. A new notification came up in his ask box. Curiously, Darren clicked on the envelope icon. He ignored the older ones and clicked on the latest. It was from princechristophereverett21:
Chris deserves a verbal confirmation, don't you think?
Darren stared at the message for a full minute. Ricky was still pounding on his door and it made him thankful that he had changed the security pass code last night before he slept. He hit reply.
Not if Darren is under contract to say NOTHING.
The reply was instantaneous:
Darren Criss is the slyest fox I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Don't tell me he can't come up with something.
That reply threw Darren off. Who was this… person? And why was he speaking of him in such a familiar manner?
"Darren! I know you can hear me! I am not above tearing this door down –"
Darren closed his laptop as he mulled the words of the unknown blogger. He sighed as he half-jogged downstairs to meet with his lunatic of a handler. He knew what he needed to do. The only question was how?
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Chris giggled as he closed his own laptop and turned to stir the cheese sauce he was making on the stove top. If he knew his boyfriend, and boy, he knew he did, Darren Criss was not the type to back down from a challenge. Not when it involved him. He knew he should at least feel guilty about wanting to shake things up and putting his boyfriend in an uncomfortable position, but that was outweighed by his desire to show off to the world how perfect and happy his life is. A recent blind item even hinted at him working to rid of Darren from Glee? Seriously? The nerve of some people! He almost made good on his threat of smoking a pack that day when it came up online. Alla, being the sensible PR agent that she was, told him to ignore the whole bullshit. Chris silently wondered how Darren's PR would react if the black propaganda happened to the curly-haired man instead. They'd probably make him quit altogether, Chris snorted. Those people never made any sense. No wonder Darren's career was always questioned by the more ruthless citizens of the entertainment world. Good thing his boy friend was only a year and a half away from freedom. A short jingle alerted Chris to an incoming text message:
From: My Secret Boyfriend too
To: My Secret Boyfriend
It's a riot out there.
Whatever happens, don't believe what you see on Twitter or wherever. Ricky made me do it.
-:-
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
From: My Secret Boyfriend
I'm almost afraid to see it.
-:-
From: My Secret Boyfriend too
To: My Secret Boyfriend
It's a staged photo. My beard's got a ring as well. Cheap ass one too.
And don't worry. I'll make it up to you ;-)
-:-
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
From: My Secret Boyfriend
?_?
-:-
From: My Secret Boyfriend too
To: My Secret Boyfriend
You'll see. :-D
-:-
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
From: My Secret Boyfriend
If you get caught doing anything illegal, I will not be happy with conjugal visits every third Thursday.
-:-
From: My Secret Boyfriend too
To: My Secret Boyfriend
I've been called a 'SLY FOX' once. I'll put it to good use. ;-)
And CONJUGAL visits?
Am I missing something here?
-:-
To: My Secret Boyfriend too
From: My Secret Boyfriend
Fuck you.
Chris hit SEND and smiled to himself. Depending on what Darren comes up with, he'd make good on his word.
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End A/N: What does Darren come up with? You can find out for the price of a few reviews. I seriously just want to stop here co'z my bunny has lost his crazy steam. But I can't leave you hanging now, can I? For now this is done, unless you send in a really good review or a PROMPT that I can somehow integrate into this. Don't care if you don't, but if there is any interest, I'm never one to let my readers down. See you when I see you, folks! –C.