Hey guys! It has been so long since I wrote on here. A lot has been going on but i am excited to get back into writing again. I am obsessed with both the book and the TV show of The Handmaids Tale and I have wondered what would happen to me if the whole Gilead thing happened, if I didn't escape. So here it is, a story about what I hope will happen to me in this world.
Chapter 1
The gardens. The house. The garage. Trees. A lonely woman with a busy man. A teenage daughter. These are the things that I have. Not much, but they all mean something. A place for mother to control. The shelter of our family. Where the car sits, waiting to be cleaned by our Guardian. Mother and Father. And me. I know that it may seem like nothing, but its all I've got. There used to be phones and games for past teens to play, but they are forbidden now.
The house is bigger than others. Full of red brick and windows that stretch high. The house looks like an English castle, full of history that will not be told. A tower stands tall, overlooking the street. Countless gardens in the back, mothers domain. It looks old. I believe this place used to be a home of the wealthy. Makes since, we are the hierarchy. There is writing over the entrance to our home. "Non nobis solum" it says, welcoming those who enter with an unseeing touch.
The day is hot and sunny. I can see a lot of red and pale green walking down the street, two-by-two. I can see them through my window, walking with their heads low, a way for me to not see their face. They fascinate me, the reds. I see them all the time with their white wings covering me from seeing their face, and mine for them. Thick red dresses and cloak even in the blistering summer sun. How do they survive?
My window is the gateway into life outside. I am allowed to go outside, and I do, but sometimes it is better to stay behind glass and just watch life pass by. I guess I am waiting, waiting for life to begin or something interesting to happen.
A tap on the door jerks me out of my daydreams. Vera stands in the open door way, her arms folded across her chest. He pail green apron is sprinkled with a light powder of some sorts, most likely flower. She looks at me with her narrow brown eyes. Confusion? Annoyance? It's hard to tell. "Your mother wants to see you." She tells me in a low voice. I tilt my head back a little and take a deep breath.
I don't like my mother, well she isn't actually my mother, just pretends to be. I was assigned to this family. To be a daughter that they won't be able to have. Basically adoption. Now I know how those kids feel.
I walk down the hallway with Vera ahead of me. I have the instinct to head towards her room because that is usually where she is, but instead I am leaded towards the stairs and out the back door. Outside is our garden, well it's more than one garden. This is the only place where my mother has control. I don't know what Mrs. Beal was before all of this happened. Probably something she was in charge of, CEO? There is a sort of hunger inside her, for some form of power. I mean I would too if I were her.
The gardens have been transformed into what looks like an old garden party. White tents shoot into the sky, tables and chairs stretching long distances. Jars full of flowers hang from the ceiling and lights are being strung up with the order from the Wife. It looks like it could be from a fairy tale or from the olden days. I remember reading about how royalty used to throw these kinds of parties. How is this kind of stuff allowed?
My mother, dressed in the usual attire of a wife. Long blue dress, ¾ sleeves, some cool design with the fabric, blue heals, hair pulled tight into a bun. It's all so bland, yet elegant.
I hopped off the black van, with the assistance of a Guardian, and take a look at the home. Its large. A lot of brick and window, very different from the ones on the street. An Aunt, her long khaki dress, leads me away from the van and towards the front door. She babbles on about how lucky I am to be staying with these people and how I am just going to love it, etc etc. I look at the paved drive way, my long white dress barely hit the ground. Fall is on it's way, you can feel the coolness in the air. I wrap my light pink cloak around me tighter for warmth. We soon reached the front door, tall and wooden. A stone archway gave a little bit of an overhang in case of rain.
Chiseled into the smooth stone above was a crest, a family crest. I knew that it wasn't theirs, the new owners, it had to be from the time before. Above the crest in stone ribbon, a fading inscription. Words. It's been so long since I have read something. "Non nobis solum," the ribbon reads. 'French? No its not French, if it were French I'd have understood what it mean't. Spanish? No it can't be Spanish.' I run through all of the popular languages in my head till I reach Latin. 'Latin, why didn't you think of Latin! I don't know Latin. Fuck.'
The Aunt knocks and I am thrown back into reality. The Aunt is looking at me and smiles. It is truly an amazing house, you are so lucky to be assigned here and not with the Econo people. She says in a happy tone. Who are these people? I asked. She hadn't told me who I was staying with, even at the School. Her smile fades a little and her eyes grown narrow. 'These "People",' She says in disgust, 'are your new family members. From now on you will be Kyra Beal, not Kyra…' The creaking of the old wooden door interrupted her before she could say anything else.
In the entryway was a Martha. I have grown accustomed to seeing them. It wasn't odd to see them walking down the street while we went on our morning walk. She looked old, like the Aunt who was standing next to me. Her hair sparkling with specks of grey. Her almond shaped eyes dropping only a little. Her posture was not straight, she was slouching, annoyance maybe. She must not like us here, we distract her from her work.
Under his Eye, I say to her, the proper greeting. Her reply was the usual May the Lord open. This is how things were now. No Hello or Hi or Hey sexy how's it hanging?. None of that. The Martha moves out of the way, welcoming us in. I go inside, the Aunt not far behind me. The entrance was pretty, giant white pillars greeted you when you walked in. In front of us was the living room full of couches and chairs and even a piano, nice to see that there was still a respect for music.
Wait here, was all that was said and then the Martha was off. Paintings of flowers hung on the walls of the entry. It was nice to see paintings again, I wonder if they were painted by the Wife. To my right was the stairwell, leading up behind the wall. There must be a room devoted to the stairs.
The Aunt kept looking at her watch, like she has other places to be. A Guardian showed up carrying my only suitcase, pink. Soon enough we herd thumps coming from the staircase. A blue and black couple came down the steps and stood before us. They looked old, not as old as that Martha, but still old. The Wife, in her blue dress, looked at me with joy. Wrinkles showing up a little bit as she smiled. Her hair was not completely white, she still had some dirty blond on her head. Eyes sparkled like chocolate. She seemed nice. The Commander on the other hand stood straight. His hair turning slightly grey. He looked as if he was trying to be happy to see me, but I knew I was taking time away from his work. I am his burden. The suit he wore was like all of the other Commanders, black and clean. Nothing special. No cool tie, or cool socks to show off a little bit of personality. None of that is needed now.
Blessed day. The Wife spoke, her voice sweet and cheerful. She was clearly glad to have me. Blessed day. Thank you for bringing me in. May the Lord truly make me worthy as your daughter. I reply keeping my head low as if I was bowing. That made her smile. The Commander smiled a little, gave a small nod, then left saying nothing. The air grew stiff as we all stood around, not knowing what to say. The Aunt clapped her hands together as a way to get rid of the awkwardness. Well I can see that you will be treated well here. I must be off, more lady's to take care of. The Aunt says. And with that she was off.
"Kyra!" The Wife bubbled as she walked over to where me and Vera stood. Before I knew it I was wrapped up in an embrace, I felt squished. It's not that I don't like hugs, in fact I love them, I haven't been hugged in a long time. I never realized how much I missed something so small like a hug. "I am throwing a party," She said with a smile on her face, she seems to be proud of whatever this is for. "Your father and I are celebrating the Angels and Eyes that are becoming Commanders in the next Military Ceremony. We are inviting them here tonight. You may even meet your future husband." Her eyes gleamed with hope and joy.
Husband. Something about that word made me shiver. I am only 18, which for this place is too old to get married. The youngest is 14 I believe. It's shocking that they haven't assigned me a suitor yet. Maybe Mother and the Commander told the council to wait, so they can have more time with their daughter. I have always dreamed of getting married. But in a place like this, I would rather not.
"Praise be," I reply, not daring to show any form of sadness or anger towards that situation. The Wife clapped her hands together and a Guardian showed up immediately as if he knew this was coming. "This is for you." She says to me as the Guardian hands me a white gift bag with light pink tissue paper. I didn't even know that they still had this stuff, tissue paper. I'll make sure to keep this for later.
Mother looks at me with an impatient smile, I guess she wants me to open up the gift. As I take off the paper I see something white underneath. I pull out a wad of fabric, unfolding it to see a sun dress, well what is now considered a sundress, which isn't even a sundress at all. Yes, it does flare out at the bottom and the fabric is lightweight. but there is no design of flowers or short sleeves, only ¾, the shortest it can be in the summer. I try to look happy at it to please Mother. It is a nice gift, but it isn't one I can accept nor want.
She gleams back at me and then goes straight into bossing a Guardian around who was supposedly doing something wrong. "When is the party?" I ask, not knowing if she will answer or not. "Its tonight dear, go get ready." She reply's, still focused on the preparations happening around her.
Tonight?
"Oh, and take Vera with you darling, she can help you get ready." Her head turned to a Martha trying to put some flowers in a vase. "No no! You are doing that all wrong." She yelled at her while she marched over in her direction, my signal to leave.
I go back to my room where Vera is waiting for me. "What did the Mistress want?" She asked flatly. "She gave me a dress, for the party tonight, I'm supposed to wear it." I explained as I slumped onto the vanity chair. "You need to help me get ready. Mothers orders." I tease.
I know that she doesn't care for spending time with me, and I don't care for spending time with her. But she is the only person i trust here, my only friend. She laughs, I like her laugh. "Hey, it gets me away from cooking. Praise be" Then I laugh too, anything to get Vera away from working around my Mother is a praise be indeed.
"So, how would you like your hair?" She challenged. I smiled at her through the mirror. "Something bold."
So... What ya think? I know that there is a lot of description and I have been trying to reword things and make it not so obvious. If you have any suggestions about how change some of these sentences, I am all for the help. I'll hopefully post chapter 2 soon. Stay beautiful you people. Love ya. -Kyra