Title: Incense
Fandom: Supernatural
Paring: Dean/Castiel
Notice: I own nothing, especially Supernatural and their characters. Seriously, I'm just a broke-ass college student.
Dean lies in a lumpy, uncomfortable motel bed, unable to sleep. Sam is out, doing whatever it is Sam wants to do for the night (probably something nerdy, like looking up lore on their latest case, in which a woman was abducted from her home and witnesses bthey saw a half man/half goat creature. Yeah. Right). And, as usual, when Dean can't sleep, his thought turn to a familiar subject…
Castiel has a particular fragrance that accompanies him. Dean isn't sure if it's real or he imagines it, but everytime Cas is close, Dean smells incense. It's come to be a comforting scent, reminding him that things would be alright. None of the other angels smelled this way, and he was most definitely not comforted by their presence since all they seemed to bring as much destruction and misery as their demon counterparts. Cas, however, was different. And when he was close, the scent of incense lingered.
Dean rolls onto his side, thoughts still milling about his head.
Now keep in mind, it doesn't exactly bother him when Cas is close. In the beginning it did, back when Cas had no concept on personal space and his angelic presence was so overbearing that it seemed to suffocate anyone he got too close to. Or at least, that's what it seemed like to Dean. For a while, Cas seemed to get the hint, backing off and respecting Dean personal bubble, but lately… well ever since Cas was human and then turned back to angel, he has been crowding Dean again. Dean isn't sure if Cas just forgot or if he is purposely hovering close, but Dean isn't sure how he feels about it. It is unpleasant, but Dean gets confused by the sensations (that scent, the calmness, the warmth, the adrenaline, the safety) that rush when Cas is close. All he knows is that he doesn't want to tell Cas to back off.
Dean sighs and rolls onto this other side.
Dean has lost Cas too many times now. When Castiel first pulled Dean from Hell, Dean wasn't sure how he felt about the angel-John Constantine wannabe. Sure, he was grateful, but as he quickly found out, there was a price for his resurrection. As time wore on though, he couldn't picture his life without the help of Cas. The angel was always there when Dean needed him the most, and Dean couldn't deny that they had a bond. Even when Cas had betrayed them with Crowley and kept them in the dark about the Leviathans, Dean still couldn't completely hate the angel. All the memories of Cas saving him, caring about him, making him laugh with his completely out of touch antics… it overruled any hatred that could form. Even worse was when Cas's brain was scrambled due to saving Sam, and worse yet when Dean escaped purgatory and Cas didn't. Dean doesn't think he can take losing Cas one more time, and he tells himself it's because Cas is his friend and part-time savior.
Dean rubs his eyes and rolls onto his back, staring into the darkness.
Deep down, though, Dean knows why he can't take losing Castiel one more time. He needs the angel, more than just as a guardian angel. More than just as a friend, and though he once told Cas he thought of him as a brother, he knows their relationship has changed. Even Sam can tell; Sam always tells him that Cas will come when Dean calls, and he can tell by the bemused look in Sam's eyes that Sam knows more than he is saying.
Dean can suddenly smell it – cedar and frankincense and a touch of lavender. Castiel. He rolls onto his side and sitting beside him is Castiel, watching Dean attentively with a smile.
"Hello, Dean."