HARD CONVERSTATIONS / HARD GOODBYES
By: Marie One
Twilight. AU. Rated MA/English/Non-cannon/Drama-Angst/Edward OC
A return back after plans don't go as planned. Supernatural elements involving some
Breaking Dawn elements /Part 1
Thanks to 2Shaes and Kitchmill for the beta work
Thanks to Edwardsmate4ever and Elfprincess8 for all the your help and encouragement
Thank you Silver Drip and PurplePixie143
Characters originally created by Ms. S. Meyer
Tuesday/Beginnings/3Years Later
There has to be a chess player in this one horse, vampire, and shifter town, thought Allison. Allison missed Michael her former coworker who now worked in Alaska. They played Chess three times a week together and talked about everything.
Allison always meant to teach her son Sam how to play but there never enough time. Now looking around the hall Allison was sitting alone at her table. Sometimes a person would come by looking for a pickup game but not anything more long term.
I will not give up. I will sit here until someone walks in that door looking for a play partner. I will sit her patiently and someone will come, here is an open seat and someone, anyone, somebody must want a Chess game three to four times a week, someone.
Allison was so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice Edward Cullen standing at her table until he touched her shoulder to get her attention.
"Oh hello, welcome. I'm Allison."
"Hello, I am Edward Cullen. Would you like a chess partner?" asked Edward. Allison took his outstretched hand in both of hers.
He was a cold one as the history said he was.
"I am Allison Clearwater Uley, I know who and what you are. It's okay. Please have a seat and welcome again. I have been hoping someone would come along to play."
One hour later there was still only one move each and not one word said. Allison who was used to some talking while playing, looked up from the chess board and said, "If you tell me yours, I will tell you mine."
Allison's voice was lower than normal. Edward Cullen would be able to hear what she said with no problems.
"What?!" asked Edward. Edward's voice was not too loud in the room, but he was shocked at what Allison said.
"All about you and why you have blown back into town with Isabella Swan." Allison said.
"Everyone knows we're back, and Bella is back?" asked Edward frowning a bit.
"Yes, and welcome to small town life. You and Bella are the entertainment again, and if Jacob comes back into the picture, it will be get- out- the- popcorn- time again." Allison observed.
"I can't read you."
"What are you talking about?" Allison asked.
"You know what I am and about the treaty?" Edward asked instead of replying to her question. Edward was looking right at Allison as she calmly looked at him.
"Yes, that's why I know who and what you are," Allison answered.
"My ability is mind reading and hearing thoughts," said Edward.
"Wow, I can't imagine all the filth you know and have seen. I guess there will never be enough brain bleach in the world to help you out. How painful is that, I mean can you control it, can you block out things?" asked Allison with a look on her face like she was now studying Edward.
"I have learned how to block out things to a degree," said Edward.
"So you can't hear me or read me?" asked Allison.
"Not totally, you are not like other people, but I did hear you cursing. It was loud," Edward told Allison with a fascination that he had not felt for someone else in a long time.
"I blame all the rap music two of my coworkers listens to and my personal frustrations with a lot of things I want to change," said Allison. "The next move is yours move Mr. Cullen."
"Please call me Edward. I would rather talk some more and get to know you, if you don't mind?" said Edward.
"I would like to play and talk, Edward, and I am always happy to make new friends," Allison said sincerely.
The talk of the town and then the reservation became the fact Allison Uley knew Edward Cullen. Soon everyone was talking about how Allison and Edward were spending several nights a week together. The Tuesday chess game became Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Sam asked his mother, "Is there was anything you want to tell me?"
"What do you mean?" Allison wanted Sam to ask her the question straight out and use Edward's name. She was done with beating around the bush.
Sam said nothing else, and the wall, between them grew taller in Allison's mind.
Tuesday Next
"Talk about it and tell me since I can see it on your face." Edward asked Allison. Allison had both hands on the table but there was tension in her body. Allison was really trying to calm down and not doing very well. Edward was starting to know all her moods.
"Okay, but once I start I'm not going to stop so hang on."
Edward had gotten to know nervous talking Allison.
"Okay the Tuesday we meet was great, and the next day Bella Swan came to see me and told me she was sure, she had seen my ex-husband and where he was.
"It was the first lead on him, I had in over ten years. Anyway, that Friday I went to see Bella's father in my car and told him to get in no questions asked. He and I made it to Seattle in under four hours, and I served Joshua dissolution papers. I broke every speed limit invented, but I didn't care. My paperwork got signed and I am finally getting my declaration."
Allison took a breath to calm down and slow down her talking. Edward nodded so Allison continued talking.
"Do you know he had the nerve to ask about Sam? So I told him he's in your rear view mirror on the side of the road where you left him."
Allison never said it out loud, but she was always shocked at how badly Joshua treated Sam. How do you not give a shit about your own flesh and blood?
"Anyway, I am proud to say I did not lose my cool or kick him in the balls. I am just numb after all this time. So that is why I missed our Friday date that first week. My papers got filed this Monday with the Clerk of Court's office, and because of the case built over the years it should not be long on the declaration but the support issues will take time. I am going to free of the marriage in less than one month."
Allison seemed to relax and calm down more while Edward looked down at the board since Allison made a move while talking. It was so slight and Edward was so focused on Allison he did not notice it.
How did she do that and how did I miss it? Edward wondered trying to mask his surprise at this happening.
"The Clerk knows me from years ago when I tried to start the process but I could not find him to get his signature on the paperwork. Anyway that Wednesday when Bella Swan came to see me, I asked her to tell no one what she knew, I had my reasons. I am so glad and grateful for the information she had." Allison was slowly calming down more as she talked.
"Anyway, the child support will be going to Sam and Embry when they start the collection process. I tried years ago when I had help to get him served but he was always one step ahead. It was like someone was giving him a heads up but no way to prove anything against anyone." Allison's hand were now doing the nervous tapping thing. Edward nodded slightly.
"I will tell Sam later tonight now that it's started in the Courts. I tried to protect Sam from the gossip, but he looked at Embry and just knew they were brothers. He asked me how old was Tiffany when she was pregnant? I told him barely sixteen when she had Embry." Allison let out a slight sigh.
"I am tired of keeping all this shit in any way; I know Sam has heard talk but I don't know what he's heard. I don't want to ask, but I may have to tell him what I know sooner or later."
Allison was praying for later or never on telling Sam anything. Never would be great.
"I have a job I will be taking in the New Year. And now, I have said it out loud." Allison was relieved to get it off her chest. It was good to have someone to rant at even if it was in a lower toned voice.
The other chess players in the hall had no idea of the conversation Allison was having with a supernatural creature. Edward to Allison was just different. Allison was studying Edward as she talked to him.
Edward was studying Allison, and had no idea what to make of her yet.
"Do you know why I'm here?" Edward asked.
"No but if it involves Bella Swan it can't be good. How bad is it going to be?" asked Allison.
"My family and I will be meeting with several members of the Volturi. Alice has seen it," Edward said.
"Is this Alice person a psychic?"
"Yes."
"Did she see Bella doing a runner on you?" Allison asked fascinated.
"The future is never set and last minute decisions change the outcomes in her visions." said Edward.
"Did you see a future with Bella, is that what was shown to you by Alice?"
"Yes," said Edward.
"What did it look like?" asked Allison.
"It hurts to even think about it." Edward told Allison.
Allison had respect for Edward's pain. She decided he would talk about it when ready to.
"Edward, trust me, I have been there. That whole 'my futures so bright I gotta wear shades thing,' but I can say it really does get better with time. Don't let anyone ever tell you how to grieve what you've lost or how much time you need to get it right in your mind. That is me telling you," Allison let Edward know with a slight smile.
Allison then touched Edward hand in a slight gesture. Allison was a person who touched and reassured. Edward liked the fact she thought nothing of touching him or thinking he might need it.
"You know I have four people I call shovel friends. These are the people you call at three am, tell them bring a shovel because you've got a body, no questions. You, Edward Cullen are becoming a great shovel friend. You are the oldest, young guy I know. I think you were an old man even when you were a kid. I like you. I don't like people easily, but you I like."
Edward smiled a genuine smile at Allison, his first in a long time.
"By the way, what do you do with your days?"
"I volunteer at the hospital in the burn ward reading to people. The bad smells make it easy for me to be there, and most of the patients are out of it, I read to them." Edward told Allison. Allison was glad he was helping people.
"When is the problem coming?" Allison was now worried about another fight, last fight Jacob was hurt physically. After the fight there was a sadness and anger in Jacob. Sam was still Sam after the fight.
"End of this month." Edward said.
Wednesday
"Do you know why I can't be around Bella or say her name?" Edward asked
Allison.
The moment of truth is here am I ready for this wondered Allison?
"It's because she is my singer and her blood call to me. I can't be around her or I might hurt her or worse if I lose control. I could not have Bella in my car. Alice had to drive Bella here in her car.
"Jasper was back up and drove her truck back. I can't be close to her anymore, but I want to see her so badly. I want to know why she left like she did. Did she had a problem with me? Why not tell me, talk to me. She said she loved me, and now I don't know if she ever did?" Edward sounded heart broken and looked beaten down, Allison understood his pain.
"Do you think anything she says to you will matter? The reason why I'm asking this is because I have been where you are now, and at the end of the day, no matter what she tells you, it won't change anything or make it better.
"What is going on in your mind and thoughts will have to be worked out by you in the end. I saw Joshua and I just felt nothing. I thought I would say so much and do so much, but now nothing. I have had so many conversations in my head, what I would do, what I would say.
"Years later it didn't matter one way or the other. You will never know why because only the person doing what they do knows why and you won't feel better even after you know."
Edward was told this before but this time maybe it was time to listen. Edward wanted to hear more and be with Allison. The game was slow moving. Allison was not a grand master level player but some of her moves were.
"By the way, do not give anyone that power. I have learned that the hard way. The person that makes you angry controls you. She, by not talking to you, just taking off like that is still controlling you and making you crazy.
"The situation can keep making you crazy if you let it consume you." Allison was looking at Edward but remembering another time in her life as she talked.
"I had to let Joshua go, and I did in my mind where it mattered despite the steady stream of, 'He will come back you' bullshit everyone was saying. Was there something on my forehead that told people he was the best I would ever get, really?
"I asked about Joshua because I wanted him served, my papers signed. Why would anyone really think someone should settle for a Joshua or in your case a Bella, no one should settle for a person who treats them like shit.
"I think at different times she treated both you and Jacob badly. Yes you are whatever you are, and I don't understand it all, but you don't think more of yourself?" Edward really looked at Allison.
Allison continued, "Look first love is hard, or thinking this is who you will make your future with is hard. But, you need to let go if you want to be sane. What made me angry for so long was seeing the pain in Sammy's eyes, on his face, and there was nothing I could do to make it better for him." There was a look of pain in Allison's eyes as she continued talking.
"I had times when I had to calm myself down or stroke out, I made myself sick. I got ahold of myself and my older coworker was a Godsend. Sarah saved me. Edward have you learned anything from this talk? I am ready for move three in this game," said Allison.
"Yes, thank you Allison" said Edward.
"I see the question on your face, so ask me"
"Okay," said Edward, "tell me from the beginning about yourself I want to know you."
"It is not a long story, but there were some tight times for Sammy and me, but now Sam is grown and gone to his own place.
"I meet Joshua. We dated, talked and I was not worried about getting married young since my parents had." Allison said this in a matter- of-fact way.
"Everything was fine until I said the magic words 'I'm pregnant' and then I guess something told his penis time to go play with others. I don't know how else to put it, but I knew I was going to end up a single mother.
"By the time I told him to get the fuck out, because I refused to look the other way as he cheated on me. I was so angry. The sight of him made me physically sick." Allison breathing in and out for control that was one of the things Edward came to recognize in her behavior. Edward now wondered if he should have asked this of Allison.
"I was done with him and the marriage but I did not think he would ever fuck over his own child like he did. I never imaged he would treat Sammy so badly. Then, I later figured out who the father of Tiffany's child was." Allison's face looked tight but Edward knew this mood as well. Allison would soldier on to the end.
"Tiffany was a child when he messed around with her. She was our babysitter and a kid. He told her we were no longer married. When she told him she was pregnant, he left the area."
"What pissed me off was certain people knew and they still tried to spread bullshit about Billy Black being Embry's father. Anyway, enough about that. I'd rather talk about how proud I am of Sam, Jacob and Paul with the business they have going. You know about the garage, right?" Allison asked more than ready to move off this topic.
"Yes, I do," said Edward. "Tell me more about you and Sam."
"I felt like a child with a child sometimes but I found two jobs and for a while I was able to keep my head above water. I became an adult with budgets and write- offs. My little apartment was my kingdom off the reservation. Okay, it was a dump, but it was my dump and I was proud that I was doing okay." Allison looked happy at this memory.
"Sam had three meals a day, his clothes was second hand, but his shoes were always new. New shoes are important when a child's feet are developing. My Mom helped me with the childcare part-time. She was working part-time too. I had some time with Sam, my golden hours between jobs." Allison's eyes had a sadness in them but she kept talking to Edward.
"When my Mom got sick and things got tight, and my Dad did not have to ask. I moved back to help out as much I could in the house when I could, then one of my jobs dried up. The factory was the only job hiring back then."
"I lost Sammy while working those long days and when I got in he was sleeping for the night. That was when I howled, and screamed I was so frustrated about my situation but I had to keep going. My Mom, thank God got better but the bills were expensive then my Dad got sick. My Dad has a chronic disease in his lungs but they are both still here and now live in Arizona.
"I tried the factory floor and hated it," Allison continued while Edward listened and nodded his head. Allison's eyes lost some of the pained look in them.
"When the chance came to get certified for an office job I jumped at it. I cut my work hours down to eight a day from twelve and went to school nights. The program was a one year program, but it took me almost two years to complete it." Allison continued telling Edward in a more calm voice.
"The most amazing thing I discovered was the pay was still crappy. I still needed ten to twelve hours a day to make ends meet. I was helping with the medical bills, but everything and anything else became a crisis money- wise.
"I had two great job offers at different times but I couldn't take either one. I couldn't work out the money needed for child care in the cities where the offers came from.
"Sam was still too young to be at home on his own and I had no family in the area for either job offer. I just could not make it work money wise and the rents were way more than I could afford with child care included. Once again I took a nice long walk on the beach at night and just screamed.
"Sarah gave a book called The 5 Stages of Grief and told me to keep trying as much as I could to keep educating myself, and I have. Michael works with me online. He is teaching me what I need for the job in Alaska. Michael used to sit where you are now sitting.
"The job offer is a contract job for one year. I will be able to pay for my BA and have very little debt going into the Master's program. I am going for it. I don't want to be an eighty-year-old old finishing college. I salute those eighty year olds', but I don't want to be one of them." Allison smiled at Edward.
"Anyway, it feels like now is the time for me. Michael has a Math PhD. so he has been working with me. I am being taught by him everything I need to do the job. I will miss Tiffany, Leah, Melanie, and Kory from the office but I can't let this chance go.
"This job will get me set for my education. I figure I will get older anyway but I want what I want now. This time I chose me. I love Sam so much but this time I chose me. And you, Edward Cullen got me talking and I am glad you are here," Allison told Edward. Edward was shocked, surprised and then glad Allison said what she said to him.
"The one thing I do wish, I could stick it to Bruce Nellson my boss. He did some things on the floor and in the office that have made the workplace harder than it has to be for everyone. I am more than aware in life everyone will not get the Valentine, happily ever after or get ahead no matter how hard they work. I never taught Sam that life is fair bullshit because I know that it's not true.
"But Bruce did a lot at the factory to undermine anyone who was not married or his kind of people. I had to eat a lot of shit and say may I please have some more in the workplace to keep that check going. He cut work hours in a way that is just so dishonest to the women he knew had no other support or wiggle room. He has helped me out in a way, because I don't care that I am walking away anymore. I got Sammy to where he needs to be. He is going to be okay.
"Anyway, Allison continued. "Bruce, once put his hands on me once, I kicked him so hard. I know it took some time for his balls to fall back in place after that he understood me perfectly. At the factory, twenty years is what you aim for, but I am walking. I don't care.
"One thing, next Friday, you and I are going on a date thanks to Bruce. I have the tickets. You and I are going and you will love it. The only thing I'll need you to do is drive us up and back," said Allison.
"I am honored and again thank you Allison. Is there anything I need to know about our date?" asked Edward.
"Yes, you are picking me up near the offsite office around four pm, and we will be heading for Seattle. It's going to be a late night. We'll be meeting up with 4 other people including Leah and Jacob when we get there," Allison said.
Edward agreed to the plans.