I hold the gun in my hand. I can't take it anymore. She was my whole life, and now, she's gone. I don't know how to live with all this grief and emptiness inside me. I can't live, simple as that. I am too damaged to be of any use at all. I only know one thing, that doing this will take me to her. We can be together again and it wont hurt a bit. I stand in the bathroom of my childhood home, staring at the mirror, trying to push away all memories of torment and terror that was created here thanks to my father. I remember how, back when I lived here, which seemed like forever ago, looking at your own reflection was prohibited. It was self indulging and it would make you start thinking of yourself when really you should only be thinking of others. How silly it seems now. It seems so small like it never really mattered. Everything seems small...
I go over it one last time in my head. Inhale, aim, exhale, fire, though it wouldn't be much aiming to do. I close my eyes. I should be exited, ecstatic even. I'm going to see her again. I'll be with her instead of living what has become a horrible life. I raise the gun, press the barrel firmly to the side of my head and I brace myself, even though it'll only take a second.
The shot doesn't come.
"Tobias." I spin around, I didn't hear anyone come in. For a second, I think I did it. I think I squeezed the trigger, and this is heaven. The orange sun sits low on the horizon and fills the entire room with it's colour. But there, standing in front of the window, engulfed in the shaft of light, is her.
Her.
I can't speak. I can't move. I can't think. The only thing I can process is her name. Tris
"Tobias." She says again. I want to run at her, take her in my arms and never let her go. I want to hug her, kiss her, have her hand in mine again, like it once was. Yet I just stand right where I am. She smiles and says gently. "Don't do that." She nods to the gun in my hand. "That can kill you, you know.". In the orange light, her golden hair looks like it's on fire and her pale skin glows. She's wearing the same clothes I last saw her in, before she...
She takes a step in my direction, so she's out of the direct sunlight. Now, without the glare of the sun on her face, I can see her eyes clearly. Her eyes are blue, but a pale blue, like it's been faded away over time. "I know why you'd want to. To get to me." Her presence is ghostly, like this could be a pleasant dream, or a nightmare waiting to happen. She continues, "You thought that when I died, I was gone. But the thing you didn't realize is that I never left." She takes another step towards me. I try to make sense of her words, of her presence and why she's here when I clearly saw her dead. "Death cannot stop true love, it can only delay it for a while." She says, as if reading my mind. She walks right up to me so we are less than a meter apart. "Keep loving me, Tobias. Keep me in your life, not as grief, but as happiness. Because I'm still here." She points to the spot on my chest where my heart is. "Don't stop loving me, Tobias, because I'm still here, loving you back."
I blink, and she's gone, like she was never there...
I look at the gun in my hand and walk up to the window. There is no breeze, but you can feel winter coming in the calm, still air.
"I will never stop loving you." I place the gun on the window sill, walk back downstairs, get in the truck that I stole from the bureau and drive away from the horrible place.
THE END