Hey everyone :D if you are new to my stories then you should know that I have never written a Merlin one before (Tehe how exciting) I have only written one other story for Vampire Acadamy (Of Weeds and Rose go check it out ;P) and it's sequel (Of Weeds and Roza) is in progress.

I would really appreciate it if you could review because then I can improve and learn what I'm doing wrong. But bear in mind I only wrote this in about half an hour 'cause I just got the idea and thought it would be cute.

Let me know what you think please :D

Oh yeah, Disclaimer : I don't own Merlin or any of it's characters ... *sigh* if only I did ... Merlin and Arthur would so be together by now :D

Enjoy ^^

Merlin's chambers were empty.

Of course they were empty! Whenever Gaius called his dogsbody down for dinner and received no answer it was proof that Merlin had gone on another dangerous and most likely deadly quest with Arthur.

The odd thing was; that Arthur was at the door, enquiring about his absent manservant.

'Where could he have gone?' the prince exclaimed, clearly irritated. 'My armour needs polishing!'

But underneath the annoyance of having to wear less than shining chain mail for training, was a twinge of worry. What had the idiot gotten himself into now?

Gaius was furious with himself and with Merlin. His leech tank needed cleaning again, something that he had made up an especially nice dinner of fish pie for, as an apology for asking.

He was getting old. How could he not have noticed Merlin leaving? He could have sworn he had been in there all day.

How very odd.

'I'm sure he'll be back in good time' said the old physician cajolingly to his prince, whose brow was now furrowed with anxiety.

'Well when he does tell him that he needs to get polishing … oh, and to muck out the stables too.' Arthur finished with a grin. There must be a perfectly normal explanation for Merlin's absence. Nothing unusual had happened in a while, which was, perhaps unusual in itself, but no friend was in grave danger and the kingdom was safe.

Must just be out for a very ill timed walk … that's all Arthur thought as he left Gaius' quarters.

Meanwhile, out in the dark forest, in a clearing, by a lake, the lake, the warlock called Merlin howled with pain and grief.

Losing Freya had been the hardest blow of his life to date. He can still recall her face, the texture of her hair, the feel of her lips on his. Then abject misery overcame him and he howled again, remembering her howl, as beauty and as beast, both were heart stoppingly agonising.

The remains of that purple dress, once Morgana's, was now scattered across the lake, perhaps most of her was already gone, been drunk or splashed around by wild game and other creatures of the wood. How many people had found this place? And out of them who could guess what had taken place here? Only one. The one who now shuddered with sobs, sitting by the lakes side, rocking himself slightly to feel once again the comfort that had been lost to him since that night.

He had changed since then, but no one had noticed. He still put on a goofy smile, still did his duties, and still back chatted Arthur. But he was different now, he was not so quick to smile and laugh, not as carefree and naïve as he had once been. This brought on jokes from everyone about him being dim and slow. But he did not care, did not listen half the time. This was where he wanted to be, this was the place he had changed. This was the place that had broken him.

And sometimes, like now, it was only the thought of his destiny that kept him going; only his closeness with Arthur that stopped him from leaving.

Merlin knew with a heavy heart that it wasn't only his magic that he was concealing from the prince, but his love as well.

Freya had been his first love of course and he still missed her dearly. But she was only part of the reason that he was here by this lake instead of enjoying fish pie with Gaius.

Now that Merlin had felt love; that most wonderful and most terrible of all emotions, he could see what he had been too scared to notice before. His love for Arthur was not merely friendship.

He had not told anyone, and no one could have guessed the way Merlin complained about him so much.

Merlin knew that these thoughts were ridiculous. He and Arthur were friends, possibly the best of friends, but nothing more. There was Arthur's position for a start; a prince could hardly be seen with his servant in that way, the look on Uthers' face would be comical … before he had Merlin hanged of course.

No.

He would have to stay as he was; alone and quietly in love as he went about his daily duties for the very man who had stolen his heart.

Sometimes, very occasionally, when he had a free moment, he would sit and think about what might have been, had everything been different. According to Gaius he sometimes got a 'more imbecilic than usual' smile on his face. But that was nothing compared to Arthur's smile, whether sarcastic or genuine it was beautiful. It radiated happiness and contentment and joy and Merlin thought that it was perhaps his favourite feature of Arthur, externally of course.

Some days, like this one, when he missed Freya more than ever and felt like he couldn't cope, Merlin lived for that smile. And he knew that if nothing else, Arthur's smile would keep him going.

Despite the fact that he desired nothing more in the whole world to cast off his destiny and join his Lady at last.

So ... What do you think? :D You like? You no like?

Please review ;P tis appreciated muchly

And if you've read Vampire Academy then please check out my other stories :D New reviews are always welcome

Thank you

Love you all

Tibbins xx