Just an idea I had late one night that I had to get out. I hope you all enjoy reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
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"And we'll be together forever, Tuney, won't we?"
The words hit like a sharp slap, even fifteen later. Petunia had many memories of her sister still fresh in her mind most being far from pleasant. The rest were conveniently forgotten. It had always been easier that way - she never felt like she needed that much of a freakish presence in her life. Nor was it needed in Vernon's and her new son's, either.
Yes, Petunia Dursley worked extremely hard to eradicate all possible tokens of Lily Potter from her life, no matter the pain. It was a decision she had made all those years ago, when she was by herself in their family's yard and her sister was at that school.
But that most certainly did not make the pain any easier to deal with, and it was that dark secret that she would keep with her until her death. Vernon, and no one else, she presumed, should ever be aware of her once longing desire to belong to Lily's world, to feel the love and attachment and loyalty that can only come from feeling that sisterly bond. And when she severed that tie, she had thought that she had effectively severed the link to her happiness. Never again did Petunia think she would feel that type of adoration for another human being.
Until she met Vernon, that is. And then Dudley. And suddenly, being perfectly normal, thank you very much, had been a new, fresh, and exciting change that she had welcomed with open arms. In that world, she was ordinary, not less than so. She lived in a square house on a neat street with a husband and a child, and had lived in this world for over a decade. She was content, happy, and someone that her family prized and wanted.
Most importantly, she had managed to trick herself into thinking that she was proud of the life she had built for herself, free from her strange sister and traitor parents who showered Lily with blatant favouritism. It was a long process, but a successful one.
For the first time in her life since that dreadful day she had learned her sister was leaving her, Petunia Dursley was perfectly happy with her perfectly normal life. She hated her sister, she decided. She took everything away from her. Everything that could have been.
"Blimey, Lily. We'll be old and grey and still here, picking flowers out of the ground with our kids and grandkids. Didn't you know that?"
She gulped, reading and rereading the words on the card in the basket, but to no avail. Nothing was sticking; nothing in her mind was processing. That one piece of paper and obligation dumped on her doorstep brought back all of her memories in a flood. Memories of caring sisters, ready to face the world together, where they were each other's most important person.
So hard. I've worked so hard, trying to forget. Damn you, Albus Dumbledore.
She could feel the screams and tears and tension building up inside of her, but she couldn't bring herself to let it go. The same man, the same demon that had ruined her last hopes of ever being reunited with her sister was back years later, becoming a part of what would inevitably be another terrible memory to associate with Lily. In a letter just as heartbreaking as the last one, Albus Dumbledore informed her, once again, that the days of Tuney and Lily were gone. Over.
However, this time, the man had also let her know that her ordinary life was the right path. Whereas she, Petunia, was now a part of a wonderful household full of normality and affection, her sister had gone and gotten herself killed. By a fellow freak.
The severity behind this letter hadn't yet sunken in. This wasn't supposed to happen. As much as she opposed her sister's choice in husband and life and career and education; as much as she hated the praise and admiration Lily had received for something Petunia could not control, Lily was supposed to have lived her life. She was supposed to have been with that horrid Potter fellow, picking out flowers or freakish plants in the fields by their freakish home in their freakish neighbourhood with their freakish children and grandchildren. That was what Petunia had envisioned the day she saw Lily proudly wearing her school robes in her bedroom, which was now filled with books and items completely foreign to Petunia.
They were supposed to live out their promise, each sister separated, because that was what was best for everyone. Petunia could never have accepted living as a second choice to a freak, but she had always imagined being a choice, not a default.
"Freak!"
As much as Petunia had worked to suppress most childhood memories, some things could simply not be forgotten. Namely, the look of betrayal and horror on Lily's face as she realised only what her sister had eons before: their sisterhood may have been there in blood, but only in blood, Their bond was over, and it was beyond repair.
The look of betrayal had at that time disgusted and angered Petunia. How dare she act as if Petunia had been the betrayer, when Lily had in fact chosen to attend the freak school? Had chosen to cultivate powers that defied nature, and everything their world was built upon?
How dare she learn to open and close those flowers petals; those precious flowers of lilies and petunias, which grew side by side and naturally together? How dare she defy their natural bond and closeness with her freakish abilities, and defile whatever it is we might have bad in the past?
Petunia closed her eyes, then opened them wide, now staring past the note and into the basket on her doorstep. She did this repeatedly , eyes opening wider each time, until finally, she was ready to let go. Let go of all of the feelings she had been hiding and harbouring and missing; but most of all, to let go of her chance to live a completely normal life and to pretend that she was an only child.
Because even in death, Lily managed to find a way to rip away her happiness and still be left the beloved one. She had found a way to use the only bond they had left, blood, to ensure Petunia's sure attachment to the world that she had been so hurtfully rejected from all those years ago. Lily had left her with a constant reminder of what she had lost, of what she could never be a part of, and she was forced to remain in contact with that living, breathing reminder for the rest of her days.
But what hurt the most, was that Lily had left her with yet another kind of pain, other than the one she had already been hiding against her own will.
She had left Petunia without a sister.
For this, Petunia did the only action she deemed fit for any normal person who had just encountered two of their worst nightmares all in a fleeting moment. She did what would have come from any person feeling the same influx of emotions as she did in that moment.
She screamed.
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Hope you enjoyed! Feedback is always appreciated!