Because deep down I am a total sucker for the idea of Valentine's day, especially combined with OTP's, I couldn't not write something for this. Just don't ask me it's genderswapped. I love my genderswapped characters way too much. Of which there are actually several new ones here, seeing as this somehow turned into a slight crossover with the Avengers! So yeah, beware of the genderswapped Avengers in here as well.

Enjoy!

It's exactly three a.m. in the morning when Antonia Stark's cell phone goes off with an obnoxious screech, and she immediately comes to three conclusions: One, she really needs to change her ring tone. Two, sleeping with your face jammed in your nuclear energy notes is incredibly uncomfortable. And three, it is far too early on a Monday morning for anyone human to be calling.

Which makes sense, considering the un-terrestrial origin of the call.

"Gamor, what the hellllll," she moans into her phone. "I know I told you it's okay to call me, but that was like, for emergencies and cool science stuff. And at a decent hour."

"It's hardly late where I am," Gamor's smooth voice echoes in her ear, light-years away from the Avengers Tower. "And it is an emergency."

She's a bit more awake now, making her way over to the cabinet where Pepper's hidden the Red Bull.

"Okay, shoot," she says.

"It's Petra."

Toni's heart skips a beat. She may not be the fluffy ray of sunshine the leader of the self-proclaimed Guardians of the Galaxy is, but she's found a friend in Quill, based off of mutual daddy-issues and appreciation for good music.

"She okay?" she asks, trying to mask the concern in her tone.

"Yes, she's fine," Gamor says, and Toni relaxes a bit.

"Then what's up?"

"It's… ahhhhh…"

Gamor, former adopted son of Thanos and all-around badass, is awkwardly stuttering on her phone. Toni smirks.

"I have been informed," Gamor says stiffly. "That you Terrans celebrate a holiday called… Valentines."

Toni decides she really needs that Red Bull now.

"Bud," she sighs into the phone, rummaging through the cabinets. "I don't know what you've heard about me, but I really don't have the best reputation with that stuff. Try Stars and Spangles."

"I've already talked to Stephanie! And the others!" Gamor's voice tenses in frustration. "Everyone's sent me to you!"

Toni drops her head into her hands. That's it, then. The team's conspired against her, leaving her stranded with this as a petty act of vengeance.

"Traitors," she mutters.

"I have no idea what to do for her," Gamor continues, ignoring her. "She's too different from all the females your websites suggest things for."

"Look, just get her flowers, or chocolate, or…" Toni trails off. Gamor's got a point – none of those things sound even remotely close to up Petra's alley.

"Okay, right, standard gifts are gonna be a bust with Space-Princess," she says. "Then what about music, or one of those blasters, or something? Y'know, things she likes? Please tell me you have some idea of what she likes."

"She likes music, but I don't even know where to begin for that," Gamor says. "She likes the Milano. She likes – well, me I guess."

"Not that helpful, green," Toni mutters.

"She likes earth, I suppose, though she won't mention it," Gamor sighs. "It's a horrible idea, what with regulations and no fly-zones, but I know she's been wanting to explore, at least."

"No, that's actually a great idea," Toni says, ideas forming. "Bring her here. It's her home, it'll be a sappy, sweet act that shows you care and all that. And I'll get Pepper on board for what to do – he's good at that stuff."

"Again, I do not think your government will appreciate us flying in like that," Gamor sighs.

Toni, sadly, has to agree - it's one thing to fly a spaceship into earth when the planet is under attack – people tend to think more of the help they'll offer than the potential damage another group of aliens will cause – but she supposes Gamor has little desire to tell Fury he's disrupting the peace (again) simply for the sake of taking Petra on a date.

"Okay," she says slowly. "What if you got here without the Milano? Like, you didn't fly in at all?"

"Is there another way?" Gamor asks, disbelieving.

"How do you feel about the Bifrost?"

Gamor's silence sounds almost anxious. Toni can sympathize – while the Bifrost is an unparalleled work of science (and awesome), it still requires hurtling unsupported through space at hundreds of miles an hour. And brushing up with Odin, which is something the ex- son of Thanos probably isn't enthusiastic about.

But it's still a better idea than flying in to earth and scaring the shit out of people.

"I don't… know," Gamor chooses to say. Toni snorts.

"C'mon, it's not that bad. Besides, you won't have to worry about authorities and crap. I'll get her godliness to take you – you know Thor, she's a literal puppy dog. And no one here really wants to piss her off."

Gamor's still not saying anything. Toni huffs.

"Look, Petra'll love the rainbow bridge. You know she will. She's psychotic like that."

Gamor snorts. Toni grins.

"I'll get Thor on board and you can talk to Pepper about the other romantic junk. I think it's a great plan."

"That's why I'm worried," Gamor mutters. Toni waves it off, forgetting Gamor can't see her gesture.

"Whatever. This'll be great. Call Pepper and figure out how you're gonna tell Space Princess, and I'll have Thor meet you wherever."

"If this backfires in my face, you're dead, Stark," Gamor finally says.

"Green, when has anything any of us have planned not backfired?" Toni says with a sharp grin. "It'll be fine. Trust me."

"Alright," Gamor says. "And – thank you," he adds reluctantly before hanging up abruptly. Toni smirks. They might be a batch of psychotic ex-criminals, but the Guardians still have a surprising amount of inset manners.

Well. One or two of them.

She shakes the thought off and slaps at her control screen, setting off the alarm in Thor's room. It's usually saved for emergencies, but, as her teammates have learned, Toni has an annoying habit of using it for anything that strikes her. Half of her wonders if Thor will even respond. Barely two minutes later, her question is answered.

"Toni."

She grins at the decidedly unhappy voice from behind her, swiveling her chair. The resident goddess of thunder is standing in her doorway, blonde hair sticking up like a carefully sculpted static mess and clearly wishing she was still in bed.

"Please tell me this is an actual emergency," she mutters, rubbing at her eyes. Toni feels no guilt.

"You," she says, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "Sent Gamor to me with his love problems."

Thor shrugs, unrepentant.

"I figured you'd have the most experience," she says, eyes glinting wickedly. Toni gets the point.

"Har har," she mutters. "Well congrats, I'm recruiting you into this mess."

Thor glances at the window, looking as if she's considering escape via lightning burst.

"Don't you dare," Toni snaps. "I've lost enough windows as it is. Unless you know someone else in this building who can make space deliveries."

Thor sighs in defeat, collapsing in the chair next to Toni, long legs sprawled haphazardly in front of her.

"Fine. What is it you need?"

"Nothing too hard," Toni says with a predatory grin. "Just a little bit of dodging interplanetary regulations."

"So lemme get this straight," Petra says, her hair spilling on the floor from where she's lying half off the bed, face upside down. "You're taking me somewhere, but you can't say where?"

"It's a surprise," Gamor says, crossing over to sit beside her on the bed. "And sit up. I can see the blood rushing to your head."

"Nah," Petra says, her arms dropping to the floor as well. "I like seeing everything upside down."

"You can't afford to lose the brain cells you're killing," Gamor adds, trying not to smile. Petra snaps herself up, glaring at him.

"Hey."

"I'm joking," Gamor says, fluffing her already chaotic hair. Petra wrinkles her nose at him.

"Har, har," she grumbles. "And a surprise? Really?"

"I'm surprised you haven't guessed it," Gamor says. "But yes."

"Apparently, I'm lacking in brain cells, so I have no idea," Petra mutters. "And what, exactly, is this for?"

"Ah," Gamor says. He looks at his hands. "I – er – are you still familiar with the concept of… Valentine's?"

Petra gapes at him. Her mouth slowly curls into a grin.

"Oh my gosh," she says, grinning far too widely. "You're taking me on a Valentine's date. I don't believe it."

"Hush," Gamor says, smacking her lightly on the arm. "I am told it is a major transgression if I forget this."

Petra throws her head back and laughs.

"Well, yeah, back on earth," she says. "But I couldn't really blame you for it, Mr. Alien."

"Well, I wanted to," he says, face flushing. He continues hesitantly. "It – you do want to, right?"

Petra's face softens.

"Of course," she says, leaning in. "Gam, I'm already blown away that you'd even find that out for me."

"Well," Gamor says, knocking his forehead against hers lightly. "Anything for you, my Star Lady."

Petra laughs, cutting off anything else he'd say with her lips.

To be entirely honest, Gamor feels rather terrified even thinking of the rainbow bridge. For starters, hurtling along at hazardous speeds completely unsupported in space sounds downright suicidal. Also, last he checked, he had yet to make it into the Allfather's good graces. Son of Thanos, and all – tends to make things complicated.

But he really does want to do this for Petra, so two days later finds them awaiting the arrival of the heir to the Asgardian throne on a nondescript planet some distance away from any major powers' sight.

The fact that Toni is sending the Goddess of Thunder herself to pick them up is considerably nerve-wracking.

"Wait, we're traveling by what?" Petra asks, gaping at him.

"The Bifrost," Gamor says shortly. "It is a interplanetary pathway used by the AEsir-"

"Dude, I know what it is," Petra says. "But seriously? How the heck did you swing that one?"

"Defending Terra that one time had its benefits," Gamor says, relaxing a bit. "Our friends, the Avengers, have agreed to help us."

"The Avengers?" Petra's eyes widen in dawning realization. Gamor swears internally. "Hey, I know where we're going! You're taking me to-"

The rest of Petra's sentence is cut off by a deafening clap of thunder and the roar of the Bifrost exploding into existence in front of them. Petra swears, gaping at the rainbow bridge in awe.

The blinding lights die down as a tall, red-caped woman strides towards them, silver hammer glinting in her hand. She stops just in front of them, blond hair streaming behind her in the wind.

It is hard to believe that the regal, ethereal princess in front of him is the same person he met on Terra several months ago - the perpetually static-haired woman who wore bright red sweatpants and played that infernal game called Just Dance all night with Petra. But her mouth curls into a familiar, open smile, and Gamor lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

The resemblance is there, but the daughter of Odin is a far cry from her father.

"My friends!" she says enthusiastically, moving to clasp their shoulders. "It is most pleasing to see you again."

Gamor cannot help the small smile that tugs on his own lips.

"And you as well, my lady," he says. "Thank you, for this," he adds in an undertone. Thor grins.

"It is little trouble. I am grateful that you would allow me to assist you with this – and to help the Star-Lady, of course," she says with a nod to Petra.

"Hey, Thor!" she says cheerfully, forgoing the formalities to hug her. Thor returns the embrace enthusiastically. Thor releases her and studies them both, clearly approving their outfits. Gamor's taken great care that they're both dressed acceptably by Terran standards.

"Perfect," she says after a minute. She grins. "Ready to go?"

Petra's eyes are wide as she gives him a thrilled look, nodding. Gamor swallows.

"As we'll ever be."

The rainbow bridge is as terrifying as Gamor feared. A blindingly bright myriad of colors rushes by him as they hurtle forward, the Bifrost roaring in his ears as the world blurs dizzyingly. No, he doesn't like this at all.

Petra, however, does. She's laughing manically, reaching out to the blurring rainbow colors as they scream through space and time. Gamor decides to look at her instead of the terrifying rainbow from hell. Petra's eyes are wide, her expression one of awe as her curls whip wildly around her. Her joy, at least, makes this part of the trip worth it.

But stars, he hates this travel, he thinks as he spares the rushing colors a sickened glance.

All in all, taking the rainbow bridge turns out to be a great idea – SHIELD barely bats an eye at the now-customary flash of the Bifrost. Thor escorts them to the edge of what Petra's excitedly calling "New York City", before she stops them briefly.

"Here," Thor says, handing Gamor a thin, veil-like piece of tech. "Toni says this ought to cover your appearance."

"What is it?" Petra inquires as Gamor fits the thin screen over his face. There's a faint shift in his vision, and Petra gapes at him.

"They call it a veil," Thor says. "Which is an utterly uncreative name – essentially, it will disguise you as a human."

Gamor stares as the thin covering unfolds, sliding over his skin and turning it a dark, human-toned shade. With the Terran attire he's already wearing, he appears nothing more than an ordinary Terran.

"Woah," Petra says, still staring at him like he's grown a second head. "That's wild."

"Thank you," Gamor says earnestly to Thor. She smiles, shaking her head.

"It is no trouble," she says. "And Toni deserves more thanks than I do. Speaking of which, she'll be texting you what you requested sometime soon."

"Tell her thanks for me, then," Gamor says, ignoring Petra's questioning looks.

"Of course," Thor says with a smile. Mjolnir hums as she twirls it. "I leave you two now to yourselves."

She rockets into the sky, Petra and Gamor taking a step back as the wind smacks them.

"So not fair," Petra mutters. Gamor laughs, turning to her.

"Shall we go?" he asks, offering her his arm. Petra grins.

"Oh, heck yeah. C'mon, this place is supposed to be awesome!"

The city of New York is, while quite Terran, admittedly impressive. The towering buildings, covered in brightly flashing signs, give the busy streets an exciting sort of glow, and the cacophony of vehicular horns, people yelling and laughing, and the multitude of mixing songs blaring only add to the atmosphere. Petra, naturally, loves it.

He has a feeling his arm is going to be sore by the time this night is over, giving how much Petra's pulling him all over the place, running from store to store with excited exclamations. But he can hardly bring himself to begrudge her for it, because there's a perpetual, ecstatic smile on her face, and her eyes are practically shining with excitement.

That, and she's taking the time to kiss him passionately every five minutes, exclaiming how he's the best person she's ever met and has she mentioned she loves him yet?

Yes, that part definitely helps.

They eventually stop for dinner at a small café Toni's recommended – he has no idea what shawarma is, and Petra clearly doesn't either, but it's the best lead they have. And, fortunately, it turns out to be quite good. Petra keeps going on about how they really need to start bringing more Terran food to the Milano between mouthfuls, and Gamor's tempted to agree.

As they leave the restaurant, Gamor takes a brief moment to glance at the texts Toni's been sending him hourly. She might be obnoxiously smug and overbearingly overconfident, but at least Stark makes good on her promises – within minutes he's able to locate the "Barnes & Nobles" she's encouraged them to go to.

At first glance, it's merely a bookstore – an antiquated thing, for Gamor, but Petra looks excited. It's not until he's directed to the electronics section that he understands why Toni's sending them here.

Petra spends two hours flitting between the headsets in the music section, an ecstatic expression on her face as she shoves the store's headphones on him, making him listen to song after song.

He really doesn't know why he's surprised.

By the end of the hour, Petra's found at least six new albums she's taken with, the plastic cases half-spilling from her arms as she practically skips down the rows of CD's. Gamor takes a minute to thank the stars Thor converted his credits into Terran money, and another to thank Stark for rigging up Petra a music converter. They leave the store with six albums and the extended edition disc set of the Lord of the Rings (the last one being Petra's gift to him – of all the Terran films she's shown him, those have been the one's he's most taken with).

All in all, Gamor thinks, as they walk in the space of greenery titled "Central Park", the whole evening has gone rather fantastically.

"And did you see all the signs?" Petra continues talking excitedly. "We didn't get to see half this stuff when we were fighting off Thanos' goons back in October. Earth's come so far since I've been here, it's crazy!"

"You world is certainly unique," Gamor admits. "In a good way."

"Hell yeah, it is," Petra says, grinning. "And now we've got like, three days' worth of music to listen to!"

"Stars help us all," Gamor mutters, and Petra laughs.

"Seriously, though," she says seriously, stopping to look at him. "Thank you. So, so much. This has been… this has been amazing."

"Like I said," Gamor says, stopping as well. "Anything for you."

"Yeah, well," Petra says, blushing slightly. "You're actually pretty amazing, too."

"As amazing as your music?" Gamor asks teasingly. Petra rolls her eyes.

"You're the closest in the running," she says, grinning as he pulls her close.

"I suppose I'll have to work harder, then," he sighs dramatically, but he's grinning as well.

"Nah," Petra says, drifting closer. "I like you the way you are."

Gamor pulls her in, threading his hands through her hair as he kisses her. It's fairly perfect, if he says so himself, the two of them beneath the city lights, standing in the middle of the darkening park, with Petra kissing him like he's the only thing in the world. Stars, but he loves her.

It simply figures that the veil decides to short out right then.

Stephanie Rogers wants to be mad. She really does.

Gamor and Petra, at least, have the decency to look apologetic. Her teammates, on the other hand, feel no such need. Thor is staring at the dispersing crowds with vague disinterest, and Toni is cheerfully humming AC/DC as she leads them away from the park, texting what she's sure are vulgar dismissals to SHIELD.

"You know, getting a call that there's aliens in the city again isn't the most fun call to receive," she says wearily, glaring at Toni.

"We're really sorry," Petra says again, still staring at Steph in awe. Steph really can't find it in her to be mad at the girl.

"It's fine," she sighs. "We did say you're welcome to come anytime. It would have been nice to get some forewarning, though," she says with pointed look at her teammates. Thor actually looks slightly apologetic now.

"We did not think it would get out of hand," Thor says. "The veil tech was supposed to last longer."

"It's from SHIELD, that's why it sucks," Toni mutters. "If I had just had more time to tamper with it…"

"Never mind that now," Steph brushes her off. "Look, it's taken care of, just… warn me next time, okay?"

Petra, Gamor, and Thor all nod fervently at her. Toni just makes a face. Steph resists the urge to smack her.

"Now that that's out of the way," she says, turning to Petra and Gamor. "Are you guys staying for the night? You're more than welcome to stay at the Avengers Tower again."

"Thank you for the offer, but we really should be going now," Petra says as Gamor nods. "We need to get back to the team. Rocket's probably blown up several moons by now."

"Right," Steph says, taking small comfort in the fact that she isn't the only person stuck dealing with a dysfunctional team. "Thor?"

Thor nods, stepping forward.

"Ready, my friends?" she asks the two. Petra smiles excitedly, nodding, while Gamor goes pale. Thor grasps the two in her arm, and they are enveloped in the bright lights of the Bifrost, the night sky lighting up as they rocket away from earth. Steph and Toni watch them leave, heads tilted back as they stare up.

"So," Steph finally says. "You ditched Valentines with Pepper to stalk them?" Toni snorts.

"Nah, I temporarily ditched movie night with Pepper and Brianna to bail them out," she says. Steph makes a noise of acknowledgement. She feels Toni's eyes on her.

"Hey," Toni says, a bit hesitant. "I'm sure you've got a hot date with Uncle Sam, or whatever, but we're really just chilling at the tower tonight. It's super casual, so if you wanted, I mean…" Toni clears her throat. "You can join in, if you want."

Steph smiles softly, feeling strangely light.

"Yeah, thanks," she says softly. "I'd like that."

"Well, aside from the part where everything went to hell, I think that went rather well," Gamor remarks. They're both sprawled on Petra's bunk, watching Arwen stand off against the Nazgul on the holoscreen.

"It wouldn't really be us if something didn't go to hell," Petra says. "But yeah, that was great!"

"I am sorry about the tech failure," Gamor says, staring at Petra's hand where it's entwined in his own. "I'm sure you must have enjoyed seeing me as a human."

"Oh, please, don't give me that," Petra snorts. "You know I love you all green and alien-y. Being human would make you boring – not that I wouldn't still love you, 'cause you're still you, doesn't matter what race, but-"

"I get it," he says with a smile, cutting off her babbling. "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, that was still so much fun, Gam," Petra says, snuggling closer to him.

"It was fun for me as well," Gamor says, leaning his head on her hers. They sit in comfortable silence, the only sound the noise of the movie and the faint crackle of plastic as Petra inspects her CD's.

"Shit!" Petra cries, sitting up rapidly, nearly sending Gamor into a panic attack.

"What?!"

"I left a CD!" she cries, rifling through her bag. "Aw, c'mon!" Gamor rubs his face with his hands.

"Petra…"

"And it was a good one, too," she moans. Her expression turns crafty. Gamor feels nervous. "Hey, you wanna do something awesome?"

"Petra."

"Oh, c'mon!" she says enthusiastically. "Don't you wanna see if we can sneak onto earth, just once?"

Gamor stares at her, her face bright and excited.

"Fine," he sighs. "But you're talking to Fury when this goes up in flames."