"Welcome to the Park of England!", Finland greeted his two guests who were visiting him.
"Why there's a whole park named after my jerk brother?", Sealand asked. He looked offended, even papa Sweden hadn't named a park after him. Sealand would be a great name for a waterpark.
England started to regret he had decided to spend some time with his younger brother. Sweden was busy because of his new baby princess, and Ladonia had started to show clear signs of jealousy. So this had been the right time to lighten his burden. And he had also hoped he would learn to know Sealand better... but this had clearly been a mistake.
"Because here's the only gunboat ever captured from the Royal Navy.", Finland smiled, "Do you want to see it?"
"Yeah!"
"I'm sorry to upset you, but I can assure you that our ships have been captured and recessed even before and after this small incident.", England said, almost smirking.
"Why you sound so proud of it?", Sealand sneered, his brother was so weird sometimes, "And why is this boat here, anyway?"
Finland decided to ignore England's remark for now, and answered to Sealand instead, "Because your brother attacked here many years ago."
"I attacked against Russia. And France was there too.", for some reason England felt he needed to point that out.
"Well, yes, but I lived with Russia back then. And the attack hit my shores. And Åland(1) as well. In fact, I've named the whole conflict after him... On the other hand, the other name for it is the forgotten campaign..."
"Why didn't Åland join us?", Sealand wondered, "I would have liked to hear his story as well."
"Oh, you know Åland. He locked himself in his room and turned the stereo to full volume so that he couldn't hear me. The last thing he wants to do is to waste his day by remembering his childhood with me."
England started to mumble something about kids and teens these days. Sealand wasn't in the mood to listen his lecture, so he asked, "Can you tell what happened back then, Finland?"
"Sure", the other answered happily, "I remember it like yesterday. It began in 1854..."
"Oh, just great", England mumbled sarcastically.
Russia, he needs to find Russia.
The house is full of people, he didn't know who they all were, generals or something. It was like this every time there was a state of war. Russia had a scuffle with Turkey again - or like Russia called him, with the sick man of Europe.
Finland ran through the corridors, almost stumbling upon two men who looked at him angrily.
"Itsiviinitee(2) or something like that", he shouted and continued to search for the nation. The two men looked after him, wondering what he had just said to them. His Russian was bad, and it was even worse when he didn't have time to concentrate.
Where is he? Is he already in the in the war front? There were rumours he was going to go there personally again. What he would do then? Go to talk straight to the soldiers? They wouldn't listen to him, they would probably only tease him because of his accent.
No, there he was! It seemed he was just leaving, Lithuania was talking something to him. He ran over to them.
"Russia! Russia, there are ships at the sea!", he managed to say, trying to catch his breath.
Russia turned his face to him and tilted his head. He looked genuinely surprised. "Good... then they are there were they are supposed to be...". Russia glanced at Lithuania, but the brunette seemed to be as confused as he was.
Finland stared at him with a puzzled look. "No, I meant there are foreign ships. England's and France's. At least a hundred ships, and they are coming awfully close. I don't think it's normal."
Russia stopped smiling. He wasn't at war with them... yet. They had given him a warning earlier, they demanded him to give back what he had taken from Turkey(3). He couldn't understand why they backed Turkey instead of him.
For a moment, time seemed to have stopped. Russia was just standing there, pondering things, Lithuania stared at the floor and Finland was becoming nervous. Then, suddenly, Russia left to the nearest room.
"What he's going to do?", Finland asked from Lithuania as they waited.
"Who knows... he's urgently needed in the south, he was just about to leave there. If Turkey really is sick, it doesn't seem to slow the man down much."
When Russia finally came back, he had a sealed envelope in his hand.
"Here you are", Russia gave the envelope to Finland, "Take it to your Governor General. There are the new guidelines for him if something happens."
"Right.", Finland said and was about to go to meet him right away.
"Finland?", Russia's voice stopped him on his track.
"Hm?"
"I trust you to take it to him, and not to deliberately lose it on your way."
Finland nodded, but Russia had already left the room.
"Don't mind him, he's just sure someone here - he's not sure who - is planning a revolution and scheming against him.", Lithuania said, smiling nervously.
... ...
How many ships there were? 50? 100?
Russia's old-fashioned fleet was too slow and useless against them, they were new steam powered battleships and gunboats - the best you could get at the moment. And all Finland could do was to watch them, he was unarmed.
They had already tried to come ashore, but luckily they had failed. Russia's message had brought new troops here, and Finland had gotten permission to arm some of his own villagers if necessary, but usually the enemy stayed too far for the ground troops.
He looked at the sea and sighed. It was as beautiful as always, blue and calm, but he had always liked forests more. They gave him safety, the sea was unknown. One mistake and it would take you to its deep blue hug. And he hated naval warfare, he didn't know much about it. But back then when he still had lived with Sweden, he had always felt that the sea had been Sve's favorite. Maybe he could ask it from him someday.
Then suddenly, all his thoughts went blank. He felt pain in the back of his head and then nothing.
... ...
"I hope we didn't hit too hard."
"We needed to get him out of the way. People will be more cooperative when their nation is in our possession."
"I know, idiot! But there was no reason to try to break his skull!"
Finland opened his eyes slowly. He had a horrible headache and listening this weird bickering didn't help at all.
"Are you alright? They will be pretty mad at us back home if they hear we assaulted an unarmed country too roughly.", this time the words were directed to him.
"Us? We? It was you who did the dirty job.", the other said.
It was England... and France, too. Finland had no idea what they were talking about - what they were arguing about. He felt dizzy, but he had already noticed he was on the deck of a ship. He tried to get up.
"Oh, I guess we need to tie him up.", France said.
"Hey, wait a minute! What do you two want, anyway?", Finland panicked.
"This is nothing personal. We just want to destroy everything that may be useful to Russia in this war. Your people will be more cooperative if you stay with us.", England explained calmly. Maybe they could get even Sweden to help them if they would promise Finland to him?
"But... but, ah, why do you think you need to tie me up? I mean, why would I care if you want to destroy Russia's stuff? It serves him right.", Finland sat up and tried to smile to them.
England and France looked at each other. They had heard all kinds of rumours about Russia, and of course they knew how empires were like - after all, they had personal experience. France shrugged his shoulders. The duo decided to focus on the attack and left Finland alone to recover from the blow.
Finland stayed completely still. He needed some time to recover until he could act. As much as he hated to have a babyface, sometimes it was very useful - people believed in his words more easily. Somewhere from the shore he could hear a man shouting: Kaleva burns, Kaleva burns. Kaleva was a Finnish brig that had been in the local shipyard for repairs. It seemed this was the end of that ship.
Slowly, Finland stood up. Maybe he could swim to the shore. There was no way he was going to stay here. Russia hadn't done anything bad to him since the war, he liked... no, more like respected the Czar, even if he was one of the scariest man whom he knew, and the most importantly, they were burning also his stuff!
For a moment he stared at the shore - it was in flames. Then he jumped over the railing and sank into the water. He felt that he swallowed at least half of the ocean into his lungs and then a strong current took him away.
... ...
Finland opened his eyes. Had he lost his consciousness again? It couldn't be very healthy, a good thing he was a country. Where was he? In a war hospital?
"So, you finally woke up from your nap?", a sudden voice come from behind.
"Hm, yes, Mr. Rokassovsky...", Finland answered to his deputy Governor General who had just walked in the room. He liked the old man, he was usually fair towards him. His real Governor General, Mr. Menshikov, was too busy right now.
"While you were swimming and snoozing, they've destroyed already two villages - ships, dockyards, tar storage, all gone. No resistance. We saved you from the sea."
"...Thanks..."
"A good thing was that those tar barrels were ordered by England himself, and they had already been paid. So that wasn't so terrible, he can do whatever he wants to his own stuff.", Rokassovsky continued. "But it seems they are now heading towards a new town. We suspect their next victim will be Karleby(4)."
"Well, Karleby... Kokkola is a ship and tar town. It's the most obvious target", Finland pondered. "Maybe we could set a trap for them?"
"A trap?"
"Yes, I need to go there and see if we can do something."
... ...
They all were waiting patiently. One of the villagers had come up with a plan how they could to fight the attackers. They had built a fake wall between two warehouses, from the sea it looked like there was only one big warehouse. And there was a surprise behind the wall. About 100 volunteers and two companies of Russian soldiers were waiting there.
Finland walked back and forth in front of the wall. He needed to make sure the enemy wouldn't suspect anything - he needed to lure them close enough. The bad thing about this plan was that if it failed, he would be the first victim. But they needed to take that risk. "Step inside, said a spider to a fly", he muttered, but he didn't feel very confidential.
He could already see two ships - a paddle steamer Vulture and a frigate Odin. They seemed to launch nine smaller gunboats which then rowed closer to the shore, so close Finland was able to see England in one of them. He waved a flag, it seemed he wanted to talk with him.
"Ah, Finland, so you decided to escape. I think we need to talk", England said.
"About what?"
"If you give your ships and your property to us without resistance, nobody needs to get hurt and we don't need to destroy the village."
"And if I say no? You take them by force?"
"Exactly."
"I guess I need to reject your bid.", Finland said and glanced towards the wall, "I don't want to make it too easy for you.", he smiled kindly.
England sighed, "If you wish... destroy everything that can be used in military operations and the goods for trading.", England ordered his men.
But he didn't have time to continue. Suddenly, the fake fence was crashed down. From behind it was revealed two companies soldiers and volunteers. As they counter-attacked, somebody tore Finland to a safer place, away from the line of fire.
For a moment the air was filled with gun shots and different cries. The gunboats tried to shoot and then retreat, but one of them got hit, and one fell on its side. When the situation calmed down, the villagers saved the survivors from the ocean, and brought the fallen boat to the shore. The enemy tried to shoot them from the Vulture, but the frigate couldn't come as close as the gunboats, and its cannon range was too short.
Soon, they decided to retreat - for now.
"Ah, so this is the boat that fell on its side!", Sealand realized all of a sudden and tapped the surface of the boat. Finland nodded.
"Then we had a big party... we got wine as war booty... probably from France's picnic basket.", Finland said, "The party lasted two days... I really can't remember much of it."
England rolled his eyes, "The water was too low, Vulture couldn't come closer. Otherwise you would have failed."
"The cossacks had too much fun, they forgot their horses completely, so the animals were in a pretty bad mood when they finally got their heads clear.", Finland laughed. "And the Czar thanked me for a job well done."
"And that was it? The war ended?", Sealand asked.
"Well, no. Their other attack to an another town was successful, and then they attacked against Åland. They managed to capture his fort. When the winter came, they retreated, otherwise they would have gotten stuck here. But when the spring came, also they came back."
Finally they had given a gun to Finland himself. Russia allowed him to arm his own soldiers so that Russian soldiers could be used in the south. There were rumours of a new attack, so everybody tried to carry their goods to inland.
If the enemy troops go ashore, his job isn't to attack them straight away, but to allow them go further, lure them into the woods - to his own home field -, and then use small groups of people to cut their way. His own troops were too small for a large scale attacks... But it seemed the enemy wanted to stay at the sea.
Finland sighed.
There were also rumours, that England and France tried to get Sweden on their side. That was... unfair warfare! Would he burn his coastal towns and ships, too? Finland didn't even want to think about it. Besides, Sweden seemed to want to stay neutral.
"Neutral?", his new Governor General, Mr. von Berg, snapped. "Do you know where those English and French ships go after they have attacked? That's right, to the Swedish ports. If Sweden joins to the war, are you able to fight against him?"
Finland stared at the floor. No, he knew he couldn't do it, and he also knew Mr. von Berg could read it from his eyes. And he would tell that to Russia, that was sure.
"England and France have also promised to Sweden, that they will protect Norway if Russia demands something from him.", Mr. von Berg continued.
"Has he demanded something?"
"Not that I know... but it's harder to, for example, to take him as hostage if Sweden decides to do something stupid."
"There's been a lot of new battles lately", Finland tried to change the subject. This one was too uncomfortable.
"This is nothing if you compare what's happening in Sevastapol. They are trying to tease us here so that we couldn't send more forces there. They have also threatened Estonia and Latvia and Russia's capital city."
He was barely able to end his sentence when a young soldier knocked at his door.
"English and French fleet has gathered near the city of Helsingfors(5) and the Sveaborg fortress, sir."
... ...
People were getting more and more nervous in the city. The fleet could easily fire at them, so those who lived near the sea and the fortress decided to move further. Finland helped them to carry their luggages and beds to the parks.
Soon the green areas were full of families and their beds. They all tried to mark their areas with white sheets. Children were excited as they were going to sleep under the stars - a good think the weather was warm -, bachelors snoozed on their sofas and old women talked about the end of the world that was coming again and how they hoped they could get at least one cup of coffee before that.
Suddenly, gunshots fill the air. Finland started to run towards the source of the noice.
He almost sighed from relief when he noticed they were bombing the fortress, not the city. Of course that was also a bad thing, but not as bad as destroying the capital. He headed for the fortress.
The Russian soldiers there tried their best to counterattack, but the enemy ammunition caused fires. And when they noticed they had managed to cause a fire, they started to bomb even more to the same target so that the defenders wouldn't be able to put the fire down.
It lasted three days and two nights, then they finally left. They had bombed even during the night. Finland had tried his best to extinguish fires, but one armory had still exploded.
People who lived in the parks were really relieved when they left. But because the weather was so beautiful and living outside was so exciting and new they decided to stay there another couple of days. And maybe they were scared they would come back.
"That was the last big attack here", Finland ended his story. "Peace negotiations began in 1856. Russia needed to give back everything he had taken from Turkey and lots of other things. Åland was demilitarized. But everybody seemed to be happy the war was over."
"I was planning to send even more bigger fleet to the Baltic sea next spring, so the peace come at the right time for you.", England noted. Finland glanced at him.
"So the war was a disaster for you?", Sealand asked from Finland.
"Hm, not really. I lost a lot of money and my merchant navy, but soon after the war Russia allowed me to use Finnish in literature again, I got my own currency and stamps and the Diet of Finland was opened again."
"Oh, I see", Sealand said and then continued, "England, you said you wanted to spend some time with me, right? Do you know what I would like to do next?"
"What?"
"Let's go back to your house and carry our beds to a park. I want to camp out."
"What? No! It's going to rain and it could be dangerous. And we can't camp in a park! And I hate camping."
"You're scared!"
"It's not that! You can't camp in public parks."
"Then maybe you could rename Hyde Park as the Park of Sealand?"
"Never."
"Jerk."
For a moment Finland just watched as the two brothers walked further, smirking, and then he decided to follow after them.
A/N
(1)Åland = Autonomous Island of Finland. It wasn't autonomous back then.
(2)Izvinite = excuse me in Russian.
(3)Moldavia and Wallachia. They were the basis for the Kingdom of Romania.
(4)Karleby is the Swedish name, Kokkola Finnish.
(5)Helsingfors is the Swedish name of the capital of Finland, Helsinki.