A/N: Hiya guys!! This one here is supposed to be a humor fic! I hope it's
funny... haha... -.-; ummm, R&R pleez!!
Disclaimer: Can't sue me, cuz I don't own them, and *sigh* I'm not making any money off of this. In fact, I'm dead broke.
When In Rome, Do As the Romans Do
chap. 1 ~ rainbowland and cuddly bunnies
Duo let out his breath, only to see it form in front of him. His boots crunched in the snow as he made his way up the long, never ending path that led to an enormous mansion. Snowflakes fell, clinging to his eyelashes and sprinkling his knee-long braided hair. He reached the door, and found it locked. Irritation written on his face, he searched his pockets for his key, only to find that he didn't have it. "Shit, Quatre ain't gonna like me for this," he mumbled angrily as he flipped out a gun from his jacket and fired one, two, three times before the lock gave way. He shoved his way in, and the cold seeped into the warm mansion, turning it into a winter wonderland in a matter of seconds. Icicles hung from the chandelier, and snow layered the once carpeted floor.
"Quatre, I suggest you turn the heat up!" Duo yelled into the mansion.
"DUO!!!!!! That's the fourth time this week!" Quatre cried, scurrying down the sleek stairway.
Duo smiled nervously, bracing for the impact of Quatre's lecture.
"Can you STOP loosing your key?!" Quatre scolded, "At least break into the house in a way that won't freeze us all to death!"
"Maxwell's always got to make an entrance," a third voice said from the second floor.
"Ahhh, jeez Wu-chan, life's always better without your stupid comments," Duo grunted angrily.
A blue-faced mailman appeared at the broken doorway, shivering. "Y- you D-uo Max-maxwell?" he said through clenched teeth.
Duo faced the man, and nodded, "Yep, that's me, the 'God of Death!'"
"Th-that's great...and I'm Frosty the Snowman. Just take the damn package and sign on the line so I can find somewhere warmer," he chattered, "Apparently someone didn't pay their heating bill."
Quatre scowled as the mailman turned around and continued on his route. Heero appeared and noticed the change in temperature, "Quatre, did you turn off the heat?" Then, as he got closer to the broken doorway he understood, "Oh, Maxwell broke the door again. I'm going somewhere warmer." And with that, he climbed the stairway to his own warm room.
"What's with people using surnames around here?" Duo muttered to himself.
"Duo, you're paying for this damage." Quatre said confidently, closing the conversation.
"But-but I don't have money!" Duo stuttered.
"Then go grovel in the streets for all I care, this is the last time you're getting away with breaking the door, AND turning the house into the North Pole." Quatre fumed.
Duo stuck his nose up into the air and went up to his room, dumping his package on his bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trowa stuck his head into Duo's room, only to find him snoring on his bed, drool hanging at the corner of his mouth. Disgusted, Trowa walked up to the snoozing Duo, and poked at him nervously, hoping that he could wake up Duo using minimal contact. "Wait for me cuddly bunnies... Off to rainbowland....." Duo drowzily mumbled in his sleep. Trowa backed up, savoring the moment of catching The God of Death muttering about "cuddly bunnies" and "rainbowland." Getting an idea, Trowa took out a gun and fired at the ceiling, the shot ringing in Duo's ears as he stood straight up in his bed, "Where's the cannon?!" he stupidly yelled.
Trowa shook his head in exasperation as he calmly said, "It's dinner."
Duo continued to stare stupidly as Trowa added, "And you might want to wear your jacket, apparently you caused chaos and Christmas is coming early this year."
He walked out of the room, leaving Duo to wipe up the trailing spit on his jaw. ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duo's teeth chattered as he walked into the dining room, without a jacket.
Heero looked at Trowa and said, "Didn't you tell him to wear a jacket?"
Trowa shrugged and continued to eat his dinner.
Duo sat down and noticed Quatre sitting across from him. "Uh, is that you Quatre?"
What was supposed to be Quatre was what resembled a huge sky-blue cottonball. The coat that Quatre was wearing was puffed up, and took up more than twice as much room as a normal person. A muffled uh huh could be heard in response as one puffy arm stabbed at its food, having difficulty picking it up.
Dinner passed without much happening, and everyone retreated to the next room over, WITH A FIREPLACE, to defrost.
Duo had brought down his package and began tearing at it, like a five- year-old kid at Christmas. He picked up the paper inside and huge neon green letters blared at him for all the world to see, "YOU HAVE JUST ONE AN ALL-EXPENSE PAID VACATION TO IRELAND FOR YOU AND FOUR FRIENDS!!!"
It took a minute or so for that information to process in Duo's head as he exclaimed three minutes later, "Cool, I won a trip to Ireland."
Heero looked up from his laptop and said doubtly, "You sure you read it right? What contest did you enter without me knowing?"
Duo shrugged then scowled as he heard an insult coming from his lover.
Wufei looked up and walked over to Duo, looking over his shoulder to read the piece of paper. "Yup, Maxwell read it right. Good job!" He patted Duo on the head before returning to his armchair. "But Maxwell didn't just win a trip to Ireland for himself, he gets to bring four buddies along with him." Wufei added.
Duo stared at nothing, thinking (yes, you heard me, thinking). He slowly muttered to himself, "WHO should I bring....?"
Quatre and Wufei, who were looking expectantly at Duo, fell over. Trowa shook his head, disappointed, and Heero muttered something that sounded like, "Omae o korusu, Duo no baka."
Duo glanced around the room and pretended to notice his friends sitting around him for the first time, "OH, haha, how could I forget, I DO have friends, how stupid of me."
Wufei muttered, "One out of two isn't so bad."
Duo turned red as he proclaimed, "Alright, you guys are coming with me, BUT I'm not paying for that door Quatre, and Wu-man, no more stupid comments."
"I'm not the one saying the stupid comments," Wufei mumbled angrily.
"The trip's for two weeks and we've got, oh great, only two suites."
Trowa and Quatre glanced at eachother as Duo stared at Heero. "Pick a pair Wu-chan, but I can gurantee you you'll feel left out, or rather get kicked out," Duo said cheerily, "So get packed up guys!"
Wufei stood up and muttered to himself on the way out, "Why do I have to live with gay, homosexual freaks...?? Why?...Why me?!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: Yeah, I know this first chapter isn't that funny, so I'm giving you guys chapters one and two at the same time, so if chapter two isn't here, come back later, k? ^.^ R&R!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: Can't sue me, cuz I don't own them, and *sigh* I'm not making any money off of this. In fact, I'm dead broke.
When In Rome, Do As the Romans Do
chap. 1 ~ rainbowland and cuddly bunnies
Duo let out his breath, only to see it form in front of him. His boots crunched in the snow as he made his way up the long, never ending path that led to an enormous mansion. Snowflakes fell, clinging to his eyelashes and sprinkling his knee-long braided hair. He reached the door, and found it locked. Irritation written on his face, he searched his pockets for his key, only to find that he didn't have it. "Shit, Quatre ain't gonna like me for this," he mumbled angrily as he flipped out a gun from his jacket and fired one, two, three times before the lock gave way. He shoved his way in, and the cold seeped into the warm mansion, turning it into a winter wonderland in a matter of seconds. Icicles hung from the chandelier, and snow layered the once carpeted floor.
"Quatre, I suggest you turn the heat up!" Duo yelled into the mansion.
"DUO!!!!!! That's the fourth time this week!" Quatre cried, scurrying down the sleek stairway.
Duo smiled nervously, bracing for the impact of Quatre's lecture.
"Can you STOP loosing your key?!" Quatre scolded, "At least break into the house in a way that won't freeze us all to death!"
"Maxwell's always got to make an entrance," a third voice said from the second floor.
"Ahhh, jeez Wu-chan, life's always better without your stupid comments," Duo grunted angrily.
A blue-faced mailman appeared at the broken doorway, shivering. "Y- you D-uo Max-maxwell?" he said through clenched teeth.
Duo faced the man, and nodded, "Yep, that's me, the 'God of Death!'"
"Th-that's great...and I'm Frosty the Snowman. Just take the damn package and sign on the line so I can find somewhere warmer," he chattered, "Apparently someone didn't pay their heating bill."
Quatre scowled as the mailman turned around and continued on his route. Heero appeared and noticed the change in temperature, "Quatre, did you turn off the heat?" Then, as he got closer to the broken doorway he understood, "Oh, Maxwell broke the door again. I'm going somewhere warmer." And with that, he climbed the stairway to his own warm room.
"What's with people using surnames around here?" Duo muttered to himself.
"Duo, you're paying for this damage." Quatre said confidently, closing the conversation.
"But-but I don't have money!" Duo stuttered.
"Then go grovel in the streets for all I care, this is the last time you're getting away with breaking the door, AND turning the house into the North Pole." Quatre fumed.
Duo stuck his nose up into the air and went up to his room, dumping his package on his bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trowa stuck his head into Duo's room, only to find him snoring on his bed, drool hanging at the corner of his mouth. Disgusted, Trowa walked up to the snoozing Duo, and poked at him nervously, hoping that he could wake up Duo using minimal contact. "Wait for me cuddly bunnies... Off to rainbowland....." Duo drowzily mumbled in his sleep. Trowa backed up, savoring the moment of catching The God of Death muttering about "cuddly bunnies" and "rainbowland." Getting an idea, Trowa took out a gun and fired at the ceiling, the shot ringing in Duo's ears as he stood straight up in his bed, "Where's the cannon?!" he stupidly yelled.
Trowa shook his head in exasperation as he calmly said, "It's dinner."
Duo continued to stare stupidly as Trowa added, "And you might want to wear your jacket, apparently you caused chaos and Christmas is coming early this year."
He walked out of the room, leaving Duo to wipe up the trailing spit on his jaw. ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duo's teeth chattered as he walked into the dining room, without a jacket.
Heero looked at Trowa and said, "Didn't you tell him to wear a jacket?"
Trowa shrugged and continued to eat his dinner.
Duo sat down and noticed Quatre sitting across from him. "Uh, is that you Quatre?"
What was supposed to be Quatre was what resembled a huge sky-blue cottonball. The coat that Quatre was wearing was puffed up, and took up more than twice as much room as a normal person. A muffled uh huh could be heard in response as one puffy arm stabbed at its food, having difficulty picking it up.
Dinner passed without much happening, and everyone retreated to the next room over, WITH A FIREPLACE, to defrost.
Duo had brought down his package and began tearing at it, like a five- year-old kid at Christmas. He picked up the paper inside and huge neon green letters blared at him for all the world to see, "YOU HAVE JUST ONE AN ALL-EXPENSE PAID VACATION TO IRELAND FOR YOU AND FOUR FRIENDS!!!"
It took a minute or so for that information to process in Duo's head as he exclaimed three minutes later, "Cool, I won a trip to Ireland."
Heero looked up from his laptop and said doubtly, "You sure you read it right? What contest did you enter without me knowing?"
Duo shrugged then scowled as he heard an insult coming from his lover.
Wufei looked up and walked over to Duo, looking over his shoulder to read the piece of paper. "Yup, Maxwell read it right. Good job!" He patted Duo on the head before returning to his armchair. "But Maxwell didn't just win a trip to Ireland for himself, he gets to bring four buddies along with him." Wufei added.
Duo stared at nothing, thinking (yes, you heard me, thinking). He slowly muttered to himself, "WHO should I bring....?"
Quatre and Wufei, who were looking expectantly at Duo, fell over. Trowa shook his head, disappointed, and Heero muttered something that sounded like, "Omae o korusu, Duo no baka."
Duo glanced around the room and pretended to notice his friends sitting around him for the first time, "OH, haha, how could I forget, I DO have friends, how stupid of me."
Wufei muttered, "One out of two isn't so bad."
Duo turned red as he proclaimed, "Alright, you guys are coming with me, BUT I'm not paying for that door Quatre, and Wu-man, no more stupid comments."
"I'm not the one saying the stupid comments," Wufei mumbled angrily.
"The trip's for two weeks and we've got, oh great, only two suites."
Trowa and Quatre glanced at eachother as Duo stared at Heero. "Pick a pair Wu-chan, but I can gurantee you you'll feel left out, or rather get kicked out," Duo said cheerily, "So get packed up guys!"
Wufei stood up and muttered to himself on the way out, "Why do I have to live with gay, homosexual freaks...?? Why?...Why me?!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: Yeah, I know this first chapter isn't that funny, so I'm giving you guys chapters one and two at the same time, so if chapter two isn't here, come back later, k? ^.^ R&R!!!!!!!!