Broken
A/N: Written for 'Yet Another Challenge with Songs as the Prompt' by xlukychrmz4allx. I had the song Broken by Seether and the spell Unbreakable Vow. This ended up way more angsty then I intended… Yeah, I dunno how I feel about this. Feel free to point out any mistakes. Review?
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or Harry Potter.
The stark black numbers on the clock assure Severus that he really had best be getting to sleep. Instead, he lifts the dusty bottle of Firewhiskey to his lips, taking a hearty swig of the fiery liquid. It fills his body with its biting sensation, but does nothing to burn away the images swirling through his muddled mind. His free hand lifts to run through his lank hair, his black eyes surveying the shadowy room with detached disdain.
A single candle illuminates the room, the piles of books strewn about the room throwing long shadows against the walls. And then there's her picture, laying on a table in an opposite corner, barely visible under all the discarded bottles. It draws his gaze like a car crash - how can something so mundane as a photo taken years ago cause him such sharp and undiluted pain?
He knows why he let himself fall into this disarray. It's a sort of penance, really. It's his fault he lost her the first time - and now he's about to lose her once and for all. And so he wallows in his woes, drowning any coherent thoughts in alcohol until it's only disjointed colors and emotions that haunt his dreams. There's a reason he was never a Gryffindor.
It comes like a bird flitting in the dark - at first he can't quite pinpoint what it is, but he knows it's been dancing in the shadows of his mind for longer than he cares to admit. An idea born from his distress, it breaks through his haze, refusing to be ignored or be drunken away like everything else.
Unbreakable Vow.
Is it possible to make an Unbreakable Vow when there's only one person to do it? It doesn't matter, he's in no fit state to try it - but it's nice to consider. Maybe one day he'll create a spell like that so he can vow to himself he'll save her. Even though she walked away with Potter, not even sparing a moment's thought for her old friend, Severus knows he needs to do something. It may have been his fault her life was in danger, but he would do whatever it took to keep her breathing. Because that's all he wants, really.
To see her smile.
See her laugh.
Nothing more, nothing less. He's not daft, after all. He knows he'll never have her the way he truly wishes.
The bottle slips from his spindly fingers. It lands on the dark wood floor with a crash like an explosion, shards of glass glittering in the candle's light. He stands swiftly, striding to the door to dissapparate away. He doesn't know where he's going, but he knows he has to do something.
Severus is no Gryffindor. But he'll do whatever it takes to save Lily.