My racing heart
"Camden get up we are going to be late" Jen called up to her oldest daughter while Senna, aged eleven was waiting at the breakfast table while Nico, the oldest of six ate his toast.
Heavy footsteps down the stairs signalled Marks arrival carrying three year old Lexie. He came into the kitchen placed Lexie in her high chair and kissed his wife on the cheek.
"Do you want me to take Senna when I drop off James and Seb." He volunteered while filling a glass of orange juice.
"No it's fine, it would make more sense if I dropped her on the way to Stowe."
The two oldest, Nico (16) and Camden (14) went to Stowe, an independent school outside Brackley and Senna (11) was just starting secondary school as she wasn't old enough to start Stowe. Meanwhile the youngest boys Sebastian (8) and James (6) went to a primary school in Brackley and the baby of the family Lexie went to a pre-school run by the primary school.
"Finally, nice of you to join us" Said Jen as Camden emerged silently into the room rubbing her eyes. She looked at her mother tartly but didn't say anything in response.
"Hurry up otherwise your sister will be late on her first day" said Mark handing her a piece of buttered toast but she turned it down.
"No thanks I'm not hungry" She instead headed over to the dryer and took out a tie and tied it loosely round her neck.
"Look Cam you've already been told off about your uniform, stop being so lazy." Scolded Jen
"Stop nagging me woman!" Camden flew out the room throwing the tie behind her and it landed in Lexie's bowl of cereal causing her to cry.
"Shush baby it's okay" Said Jen cleaning Lexie up.
"I'll go talk to her" Said Nico getting up from the table
"No I'll go its fine" Said Mark looking worriedly at his watch. "can you go and get Seb and James into my car please, make sure they have everything." He asked his oldest son who went to fetch his younger brothers from the tv room.
"Mum why does Cam always shout and argue?" Asked the much more relaxed Senna.
"I don't know sweetie its just a thing all teenagers go through now you go and get into my car and Nic and Cam will join us in a minuet."
Two hours later Jen arrived back home alone. Mark had gone to work and all the kids were at school. She couldn't believe how quiet the house could be.
She was the greeted by the click click click of Kobe the golden retriever who wagged his tale in delight of seeing someone again.
"Sorry I was so long Kobe" She said stroking his head.
"lets go for a walk boy" Jen grabbed the lead and went out the back door, trying to ignore the mess that surrounded her and she didn't want to think about what state the kids bedrooms were in.
Jen enjoyed the walk in the country, watching Kobe chase smells and squirrels up trees but she worried about Camden. She had always been such a caring little girl, dependant on her parents but now she was always going off on her own to meet friends sometimes not coming back until the early hours and Jen couldn't help comparing her to Nico who was so mature and grown up unlike other sixteen year old boys. Maybe she was expecting too much from Camden.
Eventually Jen made her way back home to tidy up for when Mark got back from a hard days work in London.
The two of them had been child hood sweethearts growing up next door to each other and just after she had left uni at 22 and got a degree in Law Jen found herself pregnant with Nicolas Michael Graves. A year later Jen and Mark got married and a year after they had a second child Camden Monaco and over the following eight years they had Senna Imola, Sebastian Mark, James Hunter and finally Lexie May.
She started jogging back home with Kobe running along side as the clouds showed a sign of starting to rain. It was cold despite being the beginning of September.
Jen spent the rest of the morning cleaning and didn't hear a car pull up into the drive way so she was surprised when the doorbell rang at around midday.
When she opened the door a tall man stood, his short hair already damp from the rain.
On seeing his face Jen instinctively went to close the door but the stranger blocked it.
"Let me in Jennifer" A Russian accent shouted at her.
"What do you want Vitaly?" She called back
"I need to see you. We cant pretend after all these years what happened didn't." Jen relaxed her tension knowing that there was no use fighting the muscular Russian and he let himself into the hall.
"I'm sorry I will get you a towel to dry off" She said and without waiting for a reply she went up stairs to compose herself.
She had told him the last time not to see her again, that she had no feelings for him but now here he was ready to expose everything.
Jen came back down and found Vitaly in the drawing room looking at the pictures on the mantel piece.
"You have a very nice home" He stated
"You have to leave Vitaly, I told you couldn't do this to Mark anymore." She said, her voice shaking when he started to approach her. He raised his hand causing her to flinch however he just ran his hand through her long black hair exhaling as he did so.
"You told me that you loved me, that you would leave everything to be with me but you seem very settled. What happened Jen we were good for each other?" Vitaly questioned.
"there was never anything between us. It was just a stupid affair." Jen lied.
"If it was just an affair how come its been going on for twelve years?" he pulled away and turned his back on her, facing the mantle piece again looking at the family photos.
Jen had no answer. She couldn't deny her feelings for Vitaly and she had seen him on and off for over a decade but had always gone back to Mark.
She and Vitaly had met at Silverstone before he joined formula one and before Jen knew it, while Mark was away on business for a month, she and Vitaly had slept together. She hadn't wanted it to be like that but Vitaly was the lover that Mark wasn't. He was passionate and exciting but she still loved Mark because he was kind, hardworking and most of all a great dad. She had seen Vitaly maybe a few times a year over the past twelve years. Sometimes he would stay the night if Mark was away but be gone by the morning and the kids wouldn't know a thing however when they got older it would be her who would occasionally spend a night away in Vitaly's hotel room with Mark never asking questions. Over the past three years though Jen had seen less of Vitaly who was busy with racing but not a day would go by where he didn't creep into her thoughts for some reason, maybe that meant that she really did love him.
Vitaly approached her again, slower this time with a twinkle in his eye that made Jen weak in the knees and he gently placed his hands on her slim waist and pulled her close to him, she put up no resistance so he knew he had her.
"you and I Jen, we've got something special, accept it" he whispered in her ear and proceeded to plant kisses down her neck. Jen responded be quickly taking off her top as the blood started to pump faster and faster round her veins.
They were soon on the sofa, her teeth pulling at his lip, almost all their clothes strewn on the floor around them.
"Not here" Jen gasped pulling Vitaly up and almost dragging him up the stairs to the master bedroom.
Vitaly placed Jen on the large bed, straddled her and installed tender kisses upon her chest and breasts.
Half an hour later the two lay panting on each side of the bed, smiling with elation and pure happiness that they were together after being apart for a while. Jen snuggled close to Vitaly and the tall Russian wrapped his arm around her to keep her close. She rested her head on his hairy chest to listen to his heart beat, the consistent rhythm causing her eyes to feel heavy and close.
When Jen woke an hour and a half later she carefully sat up and watched Vitaly sleep. The rise and fall of his chest and the way his mouth twitched when he dreamed. His normally neat, sandy hair was all over the place and his long arms were thrown above his head. Jen imaged waking up to this every morning and how different her life could now be.
Her eyes left Vitaly and took in the familiar surroundings. The dressing table Mark had gotten her for her birthday four years ago, the memory of the children rushing in to bring their small but memorable gifts as well as breakfast in bed. No she definitely wouldn't want it to have missed that.
Out of the corner of her eye Jen caught a glimpse of the digital clock on the cabinet by Vitaly and suddenly she was wide awake.
"Vitaly wake up" She shook him awake, dazed and confused.
"What?" He mumbled trying to turn over and sleep again.
"I need to go and get Lexie and the boys from the primary school" she said quickly grabbing any items of clothing from the floor she could find and either throwing them on the bed for Vitaly or putting them on herself.
She then went downstairs to tidy the mess they had made but when she returned back up, looking a bit more presentable, Vitaly still was not up.
"What are you doing you need to leave. Now!" She shouted causing Vitaly's face to fall in disappointment and sheepishly got out of the bed and got dressed choosing not to face Jen as she rushed to re-make the bed and return everything to it's original position and then went downstairs to do the same. While she was finishing plumping up the cushions on the settee she heard the front door click shut and a large engine car start. Realising how much she had offended him Jen rushed to stop Vitaly.
"Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, please stay for a while" She called stepping in front of the bonnet.
"No Jen. I should have realised that you weren't going to chose me over him, I just hoped you could have seen how good we are together that is all." He revved the engine but Jen still refused to move.
"If I could Vitaly I would but the kids…"
"And how many of them are you sure are his" Vitaly cut in, unable to contain the anger and emotion any longer.
The shock of hearing this made Jen step back out of the cars way as the doubt took over her mind. Vitaly had driven away but Jen still stood, paralysed. She had never questioned the parenthood of her children before, to her they had to have been Mark's but maybe that was because he always had the paternal instinct but now uncertainty had clouded this. For sure Nico and Camden were Mark's because she hadn't met Vitaly then but the others could be either's and that thought scared Jen.
The arrival of Kobe running out the front door to see what was going on reminded Jen that she was running late so she cast the doubtful thoughts to one side to return to her duties as a mum, something she could be sure about.