Okay. I've been nagging at myself to write this songfic ever since I first heard the song. It takes place after The Carnivorous Carnival. Violet misses Duncan and the freedom of letting herself love him...

Oh, that made sense.

As if.

I never do, do I? Even to myself...**sigh**

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Makin' my way downtown

Walking fast

Faces pass and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead

Just makin' my way

I'm makin' a way

through the crowd

---------------------------------

            Violet Baudelaire considered screaming her head off, as her younger brother Klaus was doing.

            She certainly had every reason in the world to. I mean, there she was, hurtling down in a caravan to what was probably sudden doom.

            But Violet couldn't scream. It wasn't that she was paralyzed with fear or anything. She just knew that she had to stay controlled in front of Klaus or Sunny. They depended on her. They needed her. She had to stay responsible and constrained in front of them. She had to conceal any emotions. They had been through enough. They didn't need her to give way underneath them.

            It had a tendency to be suffocating.

            Violet glanced around the tiny box franticly, looking for something that had the potential of an invention.

            When was the last time, she wondered to herself, that she had let herself go? Just let her feelings be known?

            Oh, yes, she remembered with a smile.

            Duncan.

---------------------------------

And I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you...

Tonight

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            Duncan Quagmire. His name bought up the image of his dark, feathery hair. How many times had she run her fingers through it? She still felt a tingling when she remembered his caring brown eyes and the way they'd gotten whenever they looked at her...

            She felt almost weak, recalling the way it had felt when they kissed. Even though the caravan was almost plunging off the edge of the mountain, she still felt a flutter in her heart.

            Oh, it had been so perfect...

            But then it had all been ruined.

            Of course. What else had  she expected, flaunting her feelings like that? That was what happened when you just followed whatever your emotions made you yearn to do. She had been wrong.

            But it had felt so right.

            She sighed, remembering when they had been together at Prufrock...

---------------------------------

It's always times like these

When I think of you

And wonder if you ever think of me

Cuz everything's so wrong

And I don't belong

Living in your precious memory

--------------------------------

            Klaus and Isadora were taking Sunny for a walk. Duncan and Violet were alone. Together. In the Orphan's Shack, studying Duncan's notes from Mr. Remora's class.

            "Okay," said Duncan. He leaned back lazily on the hay bale he was sitting on. Violet, who was sitting across the room from him, smiled at him and he grinned back. "Okay. Ahem. Once upon a time, there was a forest. In the forest, there were lots of trees. A fox lived under one of the trees. The end."

            "That's so...so..." Violet giggled.

            "So deep?" he offered.

            "Yeah! Yeah, deep, that's the word I was looking for!" She couldn't stop beaming at him.

            He leaned over his notebook and started reading, speaking so quietly that Violet had to go across the room and sit next to him. She wondered hopefully if that was what he wanted. "Once upon a time, there was a boy who wanted to be a journalist," he started. She leaned closer to him. He smelled clean and minty. She breathed his scent in, smiling to herself. "There was also a girl how was an inventor," added Duncan. He was so cute! She inhaled deeper, trying to block out the vinegar-y smell of the shack. Duncan took a deep breath. "The boy really liked the girl."

            "Let me see that," she blurted, snatching the notebook. He was looking down, she could only see a little of his face. He was blushing.

            She scanned the page without really reading anything. Then she turned to him, gathered up all her courage and leaned forward, kissing him on the mouth. He was a little awkward in the beginning, but he started kissing her back. Finally, they drew apart, breathing ragged.

            "Sorry," she gasped, gazing into his flushed face. "Sometimes my lips move when I read."

            He smiled at her. The way he smiled at her...it always made her feel like the luckiest person in the world. She might not have had such great luck in other things, but when Duncan smiled at her...well, that was different...

            They leaned in for a another round of dizzying kisses before their siblings discovered them...

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Cuz I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you

Tonight

And I, I, don't want to let you know

I, I drown in your memory

I, I don't want to let this go

I, I don't...

--------------------------------

            Violet felt a tear escape down her cheek.

            Klaus saw it almost instantly. "Violet!" he yelled, over the noise the caravan was making, "Are we going to die or something?!" She could hear the panic in his voice.

            She shook her head as they plummeted down. "No! Don't worry! I'll think of something!"

            He gazed at her trustingly. "You think so?!"

            "Have I ever lied to you?!"
            "No!" he replied instantly, relief in his voice. Guilt slashed at her conscience. See how they trust you? mocked her mind. You NEED to be strong for them.

            She had reason to feel guilty. Every time she swallowed her feelings, every time she acted like she had the faintest idea of what was going on, every time she lied to them.

            Violet took a deep breath. She glanced around again, struggling to tie up her hair.

            She had to be solid, firm, strong, dependable.

            At least until she saw Duncan again.

            Then she could go crazy.

--------------------------------

Makin' my way downtown

Walking fast

Faces pass and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead

Just makin' my way

I'm makin' a way

Through the crowd

And I still need you

And I still miss you

And now I wonder

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you

If I could just hold you

Tonight...

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Disclaimer: The wonderful song is copyright © Vanessa Carlton. The characters are copyright Lemony Snicket, Daniel Handler, Harper-Collins, whatever. Not me. I don't own anything, except the shreds of out-of-character Violet/Duncan....

Dedicated to my crush, the cutest boy in all of Massachusetts!

**blows him a kiss, which he doesn't notice, since he never sees me**

Sigh...