Authors note: I'M BACK BITCHES! Naw, just kiddin', you aren't bitches, after all…like who, the 5 people who LIKED my first story, you guys are a big help to me, just because it lets me know I don't fail at writing, and you also helped me understand I can't write a serious story worth a crap! It gotta have the jokes, this isn't just my next book, it's my ascension to derpland! Yes, in the month it took me to prep up a story, that was to an extent, a suggestion from one of my readers (robbytherouge) and, after you get past the first 1-2 chapters, the randomness will begin. And, while this is a halo-MLP crossover, it has many references to other games, books, and movies, and it doesn't follow the canon of any of the halos, other than use of UNSC tools, so don't come crying that "the chief" isn't in this story, because it's up to 343 to ruin him. Also, my first book had the tag "halo" in it, so I henceforth am using it again.

Prepare for the heat derp

-Michael Blackburn

Fight for Equestria-friendship is firepower (book2)

By: Michael Blackburn

it is 2572, one year after the Equestria incident, and OPERATION: TROLLING THUNDER, Marcus waters is now the ambassador to the pony race for humanity, and things are looking good for him, Mendez, and everypony in Equestria. Twilight figures that if she can make peaceful relations (and keep it) with humans, she must learn about them by their media…so she attempts to acquire it, and…things go a tad bit out-of-whack. It makes sense, trust me…now, let the madness begin

CAST-

Marcus waters- now that he is the only link of command around, he can do whatever he wants because he is an ambassador, and so he orders whiskey and ammo for most of his time, he has changed very little in the time he has lived there

Mendez-STILL loving it as a pony, he is a very important person, as he is a lead diplomat to earth, and he and dash still love each other, and has slept with most of the ponies in town. (he hasn't changed one bit)

Rainbow dash- "friend" of Mendez, friend of Marcus.

Twilight sparkle- unicorn that knows lots of magic, and wants to know more and more, to a fatal extend.

Princess Celestia (AKA, trollestia, and molestia…incestia?)- Leader of Equestria, and is not the one you remember from the show, non-cameo, she is…eccentric to say the least. And she has one epic trollface.

Victor ridinoff- (authors pet OC) if victor reznov was ever a pony, this is who he would be. AJ likes him, and he is now a royal guard for the princess. Now he speaks Russian as well.

Chapter 1- prelude/ introduction chapter

As Marcus stepped out of the UNSC ambassador building, he frowned with disapproval at its condition, its guard's were sleeping, the building hadn't been painted, and the power wasn't even running.

He knew the ponies of Equestria were all nice, but how could they respect people who didn't care about themselves? He then looked up I terror as an angry mob of ponies ran to the building, carrying torches, he tried to run, but a sleeping guard was in the way so he tripped and fell, and he pulled his sidearm out as the ponies got closer…

"dude, Marcus…what's wrong, you haven't been joining the chug contests!" Marcus shook his head and looked around, he was in his bar, and had a massive headache…it was just a nightmare he thought as he wobbled over to his ODST MP's who were setting up for another chug contest

As he sat down, the MP on the other side of the table smiled at Marcus "so, judging from your screaming, were you having the "everyone wants' us dead unless we are the best" nightmares again?" Marcus nodded as he poured some whiskey into a glass "boys, you guys just got here, I've been here longer than all of you have…this ain't like earth, in a good and bad way!" Marcus said as he chugged the beverage

Marcus laid his head on the table "it's, just sometimes things get too peaceful around here, and I'm a man of war, always ready to fight…I haven't killed in 5 days, it's not like my home on earth, where someone always broke in, so I had to shoot them, and hide the bodies, I—"Marcus stopped as he saw a familiar pony walk into the bar

"Well, well, Marcus can you do anything other than drink here? I thought you were supposed to do some reports to command!" Mendez said. Marcus stood up "hey, at least I got thumbs! Just kiddin', pull up a chair!" Mendez smiled as he tried to pour himself some whiskey "no, sir...I may be KIA because you shot me way back when, but I could never be mad at you!"

They laughed as more drinks were poured.

"So…" Marcus started "there has to be a reason you would come here all the way from manehatten to see me, besides this being to only bar in Equestria, what's on your mind?" Mendez put his glass down "well, about 1 week ago, I was having a little eat-out, err, cook-out with dash nearby everfree outskirts, an' I saw something really weird running around there… I was kinda like a human, but it was sparkly and very pale…and that's just the beginning!"

Marcus put his glass down, and went and got some coffee "I think you and I may have drank a bit too much…" he sheepishly replied as he started pouring coffee into his cup. Mendez looked at him with a concerned look "Marcus, maybe I should explain into more depth…this thing was human, but it did not act like one, and I am not drunk, I had only one shot of whiskey."

Marcus put his cup down "did it attack you or dash?" Mendez nodded and said "it tried to grab dash's cutie mark." Marcus had a wicked smile on his face as he turned to his ODST's "get the BR's, its huntin' season, boys. We just need to fit that in our schedule."

(Meanwhile, in the library) "This is so AMAZING!" twilight said to herself as she flipped through a book about advanced flight technology "humans are years, if not centuries ahead of ponies…we need to improve ourselves big-time!" she didn't know if the spell to transport human media to Equestria would work, but since she was reading their stuff now, it really worked!

She closed the book and walked over to the stack of stuff that was there, and something caught her eye: the orange box

She picked up the "book" and opened it, only to see a strange donut-shaped device fell out. Odd she thought as she put the thing back in its holder. She sighed and looked at the clock "well, I guess I can ask Marcus what some of this stuff is tomorrow" she mumbled as she marched to her room and plopped down on the bed. As she closed her eyes she thought to herself huh, I think I forgot something…naw, I don't think I did…

(The next day)

"Hey, twi? Are you down here—WHAT IS ALL THIS SHIT!"

Twilight swung up from her bed and thought:

oh, that's right, I forgot to tell spike about this.

(later that day, at Marcus's bar) "Oh, hey ms. Sparkl- I mean, Twilight" Marcus said as he wiped the wooden top of the bar clean "what can I do for you? Do you want a pot shake, I got a fresh supply!" twilight smiled "no, I'm not thirsty right now, but I was wondering if you could help explain some stuff to me." Marcus nodded "what do you need me to explain? Your wish is my command!"

Twilight simply replied "follow me to the library, the stuff is there." Marcus nodded and followed her.

(about 15 minutes later)

"So…" Marcus began "you used a magic spell to transport various human media to your library, and some of it you don't understand, and you think I can help you?" twilight nodded as she opened the library door.

"this couldn't be that bad—HOLY SHIT THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF!" Marcus yelled as he saw the stacks of books, DVD's and games littering the floor. Twilight smiled "I KNOW! But there is so much to learn about humans, and your books are amazing! But...what are these" she said as she picked up a video game

Marcus took a look at it, and couldn't believe it: it was a copy of one of his favorite "retro games", the orange box! He looked at twilight and said "this is a video game, it's for entertainment, and it needs a compatible system, I need to look around in this pile and see if I can find an Xbox 360, it's what this version of the game needs to work on. What other games are there?" Marcus then started digging through the pile, looking for the system.

(5 minutes later) "Yes, yes, YES!" Marcus screamed "OVER 50 VIDEO GAMES, 200+ MOVIES…oh, and 4,000 books…you hit the jackpot twilight." Twilight giggled at his melodramatics as he plugged in the Xbox to a portable TV, and started playing the orange box. Marcus then explained the controls to twilight as he handed her the controller.

(4 hours later) twilight was raging "WTF, HOW COME THERE'S NO AMMO IN RAVENHOLM!" as she kept raging, Marcus tried to get her attention away from it "uhh, do you want to see the movies now?" he feebly said as she kept on going crazy. She turned to him "fine, I'll beat this stupid game later"

(4 more hours later) "OK, Marcus…I want to see a movie that isn't lone wolf mcquade! You've made me watch it 4 times!" twilight protested. Marcus sighed and got up "well, I guess I gotta go get my posse ready anyway…"

Twilight looked at him funny "posse? What for?" Marcus looked at her and said "in a nutshell, Mendez tells me there Is a human-like creature that is very pale and sparkles, and we are going to shoot it."

Twilight nodded "you must be talking about that creep, Edward Cullen, he was in the book twilight, it pisses me off that a shitty book shares the same name as me—"

Marcus looked at her with a panicked look "um, how long ago did you teleport these books here?" twilight looked up and after a while said "about a week ago, why?"

Marcus gulped and thought to himself we are now in a worse situation than before.

Authors note: yeah, nothing to special happened in this chapter, but it gets better, and, I agree with twilight, WHY IS THERE NO AMMO IN RAVENHOLM! C'mon valve, use your brain!

Well, I will attempt to post a chapter a day, like I did with my first story but I make no promises, I am trying to be a better writer than I was.

Well, read and review, and stay thirsty, my friends.