Author's Note: I know it's a little late to write a Buzz Lightyear Fanfic, but I stumbled upon these, and I couldn't help myself. This one will be surprising.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buzz Lightyear or any member of Team Lightyear. I don't own the baddies either. I'm just borrowing them for my sick, twisted purposes.
To Infinity and Beyond
Space, a cosmic void of splitting atoms, the unstable arena where chaotic particles clash in a violent wave of positive and negative neutrons. Crashing and smashing along the electric current at high tide, they collide in a mind-splitting explosion of light and sound, a smooth electrical reaction. In such an unstable and treacherous environment, it was no small wonder that humanity found it in need of their constant protection against criminals and evil villains in quest of galactic domination.
Buzz Lightyear, the pride of Star Command, searched the cosmos longingly for something lost for what seemed like eons ago. He was a living legend, but even heroes have the tendency to dream. Even though he was the established captain of a well-oiled team, he still could not help but look to the stars with floating thoughts of desire. He would become the star chaser if only he did not live by the book. Heck, he wrote the book.
He placed a lonely gloved hand upon the overpoweringly large view port. His eyes roamed across the nebulous star speckled universe that was under his protection. He was the galaxy's hero. He fought for all that was good and pure against the nefarious forces of evil lead by his arch enemy, Emperor Zurg. He had defeated the greatest threat ever known to the Galactic Alliance but his most arduous fight was the battle raging inside his own heart.
"Attention Space Rangers. Report to Star Command Station immediately. There has been a security breech in the Gamma Quadrant!" Commander Nebula's gruff voice cracked over the loud speaker, breaking Buzz's self-pitying state. "This is not a drill!"
Buzz flinched at the commander's gravelly voice and slapped on a stoic expression, attempting to maintain his appearance of unquestionable self-control. The incredible stigma attached to being a legend was extraordinary. Putting on a daring pose, the proud man raced out of the corridor and started towards the appointed station.
Team Lightyear rendezvoused in Star Command's main station. There, Buzz found his team, all lined in order from tallest to shortest. He was not sure if they meant to do that, but it was amusing all the same. They were an odd bunch of would-be misfits, each one equally worthy to be Buzz's own partner. It was no wonder when he had chosen the entire team to be his partner. But even those magnificent three could not replace Buzz's first partner, the original, Warp Dark-Matter.
As he beheld the team of Mira Nova, XR, and Booster, he could not help but see passed them as memories of his academy days replayed in his mind. An image of Warp's black afro and curt grin brought a nostalgic smile to Buzz's face.
"Reporting for duty, Buzz!" the rotund Booster raised one strong red arm to his temple in salute. Even now, he smiled as if he was in a dream-come-true and had not come to the realization that he had achieved his lifelong dream of becoming a space ranger, fighting at his hero's side. When Buzz didn't respond, the slurred grin still apparent on his square face, Booster's own face took on an expression of confusion. "What is it, Buzz?"
Buzz snapped to. Booster had memorized every detail of his career, yet he could not remember what significance today had for Buzz. Well, if he could not remember Buzz was not going to remind him. He was not about to let anyone know what was bothering him.
"Gee, you ok there, Buzz?" Princess Mira Nova asked, her blue face contorted in a puzzled expression. An odd smile crept upon her face as if she was itching to use her Tangean mental powers to read into his mind. Buzz would steer clear of her brain-scrambling fingers that day.
"There is nothing wrong with me." He lowered his voice in an attempt to take command over the rowdy bunch. "As an elite member of Star Command it is my duty to always fulfill my job professionally. Personal matters are left at home with the casual loafers."
"Except on casual Fridays." XR's metallic voice laughed. This personality flaw was created by pure accident during the confusion when the Uni-mind was stolen. The LGMs couldn't function without it and through haphazard attempts, they rebuilt XR after his bout with Agent Z. The end result was a robot with many personality flaws. "Let's break out the bunny slippers!"
"That's enough Team." Buzz's voice cracked as usual when he was frustrated and his demands were ignored. "Besides, it's written in section Gamma subsection Omega that sleeping apparel is never to be adorned when on duty in Star Command."
Brazen sirens wailed and emergency alarms set off neon flashes of light. Rangers rushed about the chaotic station, meeting up with their own partners. Commander Nebula rushed in, his pegged leg clacked loudly against the hard floor. The throng of racing, clustering troopers all snapped to, hands to their temples in respectful salute. The Commander took his place behind a tall podium and spoke loudly. The chief's mustache danced as he spoke. "Our intelligence has made us aware that there has been a breech in Quadrant Gamma. There is a large star fighter within the Galactic Allegiance. Everyone to your stations and apprehend this terrorist!"
"Zurg." Buzz cursed the name of his antagonist under his breath. The other team members rolled their eyes at this staccato gesture which Buzz did so often. "You picked the wrong day to mess with me."
"Zurg, Oh no!" Green blurs of three-eyed aliens raced about in chaos. Scattering like marbles, they raced about in idiotic terror. The glue that held the Star Command space station together had fallen apart. Mentally linked through the mystical orb of the Uni-mind, the LGMs all panicked in equally reckless abandonment. Their fear was one and so were their screaming voices. "Save us, Buzz!"
"Team Lightyear, disperse!" Buzz ordered and with a nod they readied their lasers for battle. XR zipped about on runners, gadgets popping out of his chest cavity. Booster followed in close pursuit. His ears pricked intensely as he smacked a smirk across his fat face. His brave endeavor was shortly destroyed as a swarm of hornets, Zurg's robotic soldiers, stormed into the station. Booster's loud scream echoed off the metallic walls of Star Command as the hornets swarmed, lasers shooting in rapid pace.
Mira raised her dainty wrist to them and fired red lasers back, shooting down several hornets. In short time, she had vaporized a mass number of the droids. She used her mental powers to "ghost" through several, ripping them apart from the inside.
Bent on one knee, Buzz shot volleys of lasers from his death ray. Droids dropped in piles before him and a chagrin spread across his face. Triumph filled his sullen being and soon he was moved to his feet, diving and dodging lines of laser fire. He cleared a path to Booster, who was overwhelmed by a swarm of hornets. Buzz leaped into the air like a ninja and kicked down several robots before taking the rest out with a line of laser fire.
"Thanks, Buzz." Booster babbled like an awe-struck child who had just been rescued by his favorite hero. Then again, that was not far from the truth.
"Buzz, there's too many of them!" Mira called, coming up beside him. Her lithe little body twisted about, avoiding the stray rays of death. "Zurg must have sent his entire fleet!"
"They're expendable, but he'll run out." Buzz said confidently. They had disposed of Zurg's droids so many times he no longer feared them. He was confident that victory would soon be theirs. Then the corridor door rose, revealing a figure in the hall, a mysterious figure, clad in dark purple and scarlet battle armor. A sinister pointed helmet hid his true identity, but he was well known as Zurg's newest henchman, a menacing mercenary of the Evil Emperor. To Star Command, he was known simply as Agent Z.
"Agent Z!" Buzz gasped at the dark figure in the doorway. He tried to hide the fear swelling within his barrel chest as Agent Z's clawed robotic hand transformed into a ray gun, then a flame thrower, and continued to morph into various weapons of mass destruction. With ease, Agent Z cleared a path of carnage to where Buzz stood paralyzed in heroic fear.
"So many choices, so little Lightyear."Agent Z's voice was distorted by the helmet. A chilling, rasping echo sounded down the hall. Finally, his hand's metamorphoses came to a stop and a ray gun aimed menacingly at Buzz's petrified face.
Before he could take his first shot, Buzz leapt out of the laser's path. But Agent Z had anticipated Buzz's every movement. Buzz could do nothing to catch this fierce fighter off guard. Exhausted, Buzz landed to his knees in one final dodge. Panting, his energy almost spent, he prepared for one final clash. As the ray gun found its target, Booster barreled in to its path. Despite his large size, the courageous rotund ranger fell beneath the laser's wrath.
"Booster!" Buzz yelled a staccato call for his fallen friend. With renewed energy, Buzz leapt to his feet and made a shot at the mercenary. The agent stepped aside, shrugging the attempt. The laser stayed its course and met with a fleeing LGM. The green dwarf yelped like a squeaky toy as the laser pierced its air inflated head. All around, the other LGMs dropped dead in unison. Apparently, the Uni-mind linked them more then merely mentally.
"Great galaxies!" Buzz cursed in disbelief of what had just happened. "Ah Craters!"
The mechanical laughter of Agent Z brought him out of his dull trance. Buzz looked around as the floor became littered with the tiny bodies of the little green men. Among the tiny corpses were the fallen rangers of Star Command. The good guys were losing.
"Buzz, look out!" Mira Nova called from a short distance but her voice seemed as if it were light-years away. Buzz turned his head just in time to see stars swirling before his eyes.
When at last the stars cleared within his spacey mind, Buzz came to in the presence of his arch enemy, Emperor Zurg. The dark cyborg seemed to float into the room, swept by pure euphoria. At long last, he had captured the legendary Buzz Lightyear.
"Magnificent job, Agent Z." The dark emperor cackled stereotypically in his usual campy manner. His feet doubled as rockets, and he hovered above the floor. His arms morphed into a variety of energy weapons.
"Shall I dispose of this wretch for you sir?" The mechanical voice asked with hope, but the emperor declined his offer shortly. He continued to hover about in ecstasy. This was every villain's dream-come-true and he was not going to blow it…this time. "No I shall do it myself, the honor must be mine. Oh, what to do?"
"You could tell him your evil plan." The agent suggested with a bizarre fervor to his voice. Again, the evil emperor denied his lackey's ideas and continued to wallow in self satisfaction. "I could feed him to the giant slugs on the seventh moon of Tagnia, or better yet, I could cast him into the fiery pits of Cavon Five."
"Or you could imprison him on Balciar Six." the agent hinted.
"But that's a luxury resort, you impossible idiot. Why the blazes do you think I'd do that?" The emperor scowled. "I have decided to kill him…with...with this fork!"
"Uh sir, maybe you should sleep on it." The agent muttered irritated as his master's arm morphed into a random item of silverware. Even Buzz was unimpressed.
"Very well, but first thing tomorrow, Buzz Lightyear dies be it by fork or jettison into space!" Emperor Zurg was placated at last.
"In the meantime, allow me to torture him." Agent Z pleaded, perversely. "I will break Buzz Lightyear."
"Oh, very well." Zurg sighed. "Don't ever say I never let you do anything."
"You'll never win, Zurg!" Buzz roared with heroic fervor. "Even if I die, my legacy will continue and-"
"I know, evil never triumphs bla bla bla." Zurg rolled his eyes. "Heard that one before. Get a writer, you hack."
Speechless, Buzz allowed himself to be dragged into the dudgeon. There was an almost perverse harshness in the way Agent Z stripped him of his uniform and cuffed his hands to the wall. With the agent so close, Buzz could smell the cologne he was wearing. He recognized it as the same generic brand that Warp Dark-Matter used to wear. It was that same cheap cologne where the smell lingered for hours after he left the room. Buzz took a guess, "Stetson black?"
"Old Spice." Agent Z corrected him as he locked the cuffs around Buzz's thick wrists and rose before him. His hand began another routine of metamorphoses.
"Go ahead and shoot me, but you'll only make a martyr out of me." Buzz hissed dramatically despite being degradingly stripped to his underwear, a pair of polka-dotted boxers. To his surprised eyes the gun morphed into the robotic hand. The stiff shoulders lowered and the armored being seemed to soften somehow.
"Get off it Lightyear, I don't want to kill you." The voice sighed. With both hands, he lifted the mask from his face. Buzz gasped as the face was at last revealed. "Hey, partner."
"Warp?" Buzz's voice shook with shock. He couldn't believe his eyes. "But, how? Wait, don't answer, let me guess...amnesia."
"No."
"Evil Clone?"
"Wrong again."
"Android replica?'
"Way off."
"Oh, I get it. It's so obvious." Buzz laughed at his previous guesses. "The mind ray. Zurg has you under mind control!"
"Actually, I came to him." Warp answered finally. "Evil is so much more profitable than good and a lot more fun!"
"When?" Buzz asked, hurt.
"Long story short, I was working for Zurg all along." He answered in a hurry. "My death was all faked to trick you."
"But-"
"Shut up, Buzz." Warp muttered, his voice growing huskier with every inching second as he produced a whip from the wall. "You're trembling Buzz. Are you scared?"
"Scared?" Buzz bellowed as Warp struck him across the face with the leather whip. It left a thin red line down his cheek. "You killed my crew."
"Always playing the good guy." Warp sighed and swaggered before Buzz. "Then I guess I'll have to play the bad guy."
"Whoa, hold on a minute." Buzz objected as Warp fell upon him like a ravenous animal, stripping Buzz of the last of his meager clothing. "You're supposed to be the bad guy."
"Good guy, bad guy. What's the difference?" Warp pursued Buzz's affection, tossing aside his own clothing, revealing to Buzz that he was neither a boxer nor a briefs kind of guy. Warp Dark-Matter favored the leopard-patterned thong. "Personally, I think being bad is much more fun."
"We're arch enemies, Warp!" Buzz retorted, turning away from Warp's rushing lips. His slobbered kiss caught Buzz's square cheek and he pulled back resentfully.
"After all this time you still don't get it." Warp sighed, backing off, rejected. "Then again, you always were thick headed."
"Don't get what?" Buzz grew impatient with Warp's ambiguous explanations, but his irritation subsided when he saw the dejected look on Warp's face.
"Why I left Star Command." Warp finally gave a straight answer. "Don't you get it Buzz, it is the only way I could have you."
"Have me?" Buzz shot. "I thought you were dead."
"A minor setback." Warp continued. "Come on Buzz, after all this time, are you going to let a little thing like being enemies keep us apart?"
"I thought it was over between us!" Buzz said. "You mean to tell me after all this time you still feel the same way?"
"Come on, Buzz, give me some credit." Warp smiled. "Do you think I'd forget our anniversary?"
"The day you were assigned as my partner and ironically the day you faked your death." Buzz sighed. "You haven't forgotten."
"How could I forget?" Warp placed his cold claw against Buzz's square cheek and leaned in. At first Buzz fought back against his tender touch, but he quickly succumbed to Warp's passionate death grip. His pink lips met with Warp's blue ones and they embraced more like lost lovers than mere partners. Their large, unnatural bodies pressed awkwardly against each other in an attempt to make love. Although in battle Buzz's movements were controlled and graceful, here they were clunky and without rhythm. Despite their natural handicap, they found a way to make their bodies fit like two thick puzzle pieces. In the spur of the moment they resorted to using their own spit for lubrication.
Suddenly, Buzz understood why Warp had left. Warp knew Buzz would never break the rules of star command. The rules. Buzz broke away from his partner's hot body and exclaimed. "You do realize this is in violation of code B, subsection Gamma?" Buzz referred to the rule he so horribly wished he had not written.
"The rule against afros?" Warp panted, annoyed with Buzz's interruption. The abolition against afros was just another reason he had left Star Command. "When will you drop that already?"
"Not afros, that's section C, subsection beta." Buzz corrected him. "Code B, subsection Gamma is the rule prohibiting fraternization with your arch enemy."
"That's the problem with you Buzz. You're more in love with the rules than you are with me." Warp withdrew from Buzz's embrace and sulked. He shivered in his dark corner as the sweat chilled on his blue skin. Buzz softened at his piteous posture. "For once, Buzz, couldn't you just fuck the rules and fuck me!"
"Gladly." Buzz smirked. Warp turned, surprised. "Now that's more like it." He smirked and returned to Buzz's side. The rules no longer mattered to Buzz and neither did Star Command. As if reading his mind with her mind-powers, Mira ghosted into the small prison. She would have entered unnoticed had she not let out a shriek of surprise.
"Great galaxies, Buzz!" She shrieked, her heart contorting along with her stomach. Her large blue eyes filled her flushing face. "I came to save you and gees, Buzz, this is just wrong on so many levels!"
"Mira!" Buzz choked on his and Warp's spit. He thought they had all died. This was a problem he would shortly remedy. "Never tangle with a ranger."
He raised his wrist but his laser had been removed along with his boxers. "Dang it Warp, did you have to take off my laser?"
"That's ok." Warp smirked and morphing his hand into a gamma ray gun, shot a death blow behind his head. Mira dropped to the floor with a squeal. "I am a laser."
With that, his weapon morphed back in to the clawed hand in order to give Buzz a metallic "hand job."
With Mira and all of Star Command gone Buzz abandoned his purity for passion. At long last his life's search was over. The star chaser had finally found what he was looking for: his long lost partner and his long lost love. As his passion built and he reached his climax he called out his trade mark phrase.
"To infinity and beyond!"
Note: Surprise ending! I can't believe this is the only Buzz/Warp slash. I hope you all enjoyed itJ