Well here's another one shot idea for Finn and Rachel reunion, hope you all enjoy it. It's got some Furt goodness too.
As always, I own nothing please don't sue me.
New Year, New Beginning
Normally I love the Christmas holidays, but this year it's just not like it usually is. I was so looking forward to this year, it was supposed to be our first Christmas together, and now I just feel so utterly alone. I know I asked her for time, and I felt okay with it because I had this new family to celebrate with until I didn't. Mom and Burt decided to take off on boxing day for a quasi honeymoon, and Kurt was always either at Dalton or out with old Mckinley friends.
"Hey." My step brother says stepping into the house, stomping snow off his boots.
"Hey, I wasn't really expecting to see you tonight."
"Yeah, I just came home to grab a couple of movies, then I'm meeting the others at Ra..." he stops, cringing at what he was about to say.
"It's okay, you can say her name." I say starting at the television.
"I know, I just feel bad."
"Why?" I ask.
"Because it seems like everyone has rallied around her, for what it's worth I don't think she'd mind if you came with me."
"Everyone?" I say, trying to picture what Rachel looks like being supported by the others in glee club.
"Pretty much, I mean obviously not Santana, but I'm pretty sure, I can safely say Rachel and Santana will never be friends."
"Yeah."
"So, you want to come?" he asks.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm not ready to see her yet. I don't think I can take her looking at me longingly from across the room."
"Well, it's your loss. See you later Finn." He says turning to head down to our room in search of the movies he came home for.
I turn back to the television to try and focus on what I was watching. I hear Kurt leave and sit lost in thought on the couch until I notice the credits of the movie rolling up the screen, and sigh.
I walk to the closet and pull on my coat, hat, scarf, and gloves. I need to get out, I decide to take a walk. I stuff my hands in my coat pockets after locking up the house. I just put one foot in front of the other, no real destination in mind. A while later I look up and realize I'm standing on the sidewalk in front of her house. I can a see them all through the front window, they're all gathered around watching something. I can hear music playing loudly, and people laughing. I'm thinking about going up to the door, ringing the bell, and joining them but then I see Puck twirl her around and they are both singing along to the music. Anger washes over me anew, and I just turn and keep walking. Logically I know they are just friends, but I can't help the pang of jealousy in my chest as I see her smile at him.
"Stupid Hudson, real stupid." I mutter to myself. I wish I could get past this and forgive her, but I'm just not there yet. I return home, suddenly tired. I lay on my bed, in the dark, listening to my thoughts trying to figure out how it all went so wrong. I don't know when Kurt came home but the next morning he's asleep in his bed.
I get up around noon, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb him. Today is the last day of vacation, tomorrow is back to school, back to her and reality. I'm shoveling my third bowl of cereal into my mouth when Kurt appears in his robe and matching slippers.
"You got any plans today?" he asks me.
"Not really, why?" I ask in return.
"I thought we could hang out, I've been busy this break and haven't seen a whole of you."
"Sure, we could hang out." I say, "What do you feel like doing?"
"We could talk." He suggests and when he notices I'm not much in the mood for talking he tries again "Or you could show me how to play some of those video games you spend so much time on."
"I'm going to kick your ass you know that right?" I ask.
"Undoubtedly." He says shrugging. "I'm going to go get dressed I'll meet you in the living room."
I place my empty bowl in the sink and head for the other room to set things up. Kurt returns as I'm putting in Mario Kart, I figure it's something I can teach him easily and he won't get frustrated with. I coach him on the controls, he does a couple of practice races and then it's on, I beat him easily the first few races but after a while he's holding his own.
We take a break about an hour later, when we decide we need drinks. Kurt finds himself a breakfast bar, I don't know how that would fill anyone up but it seems to satisfy him.
"She's sorry you know." He says quietly. I don't say anything, instead I pretend to check my controller for signs of damage. "You should talk to her, I mean really talk. I think it would do you both some good."
"I don't know." I say running my fingers through my hair.
"She's accepted that you need time, she's waiting for you to come to her." He says.
I sit quietly for a few minutes, before speaking again.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." He says carefully.
"When did you and Rachel become friends, I mean real friends? I know you guys always kind of got along but not really, what changed?"
"Honestly, I think it's been happening for a while. She's pointed out to me before that we have more in common than we think and she's right. I really think it changed in the days leading up to me leaving Mckinley, and once I was at Dalton we didn't have to compete." he shrugs. "We've actually spent a lot of time together over break, they guys at Dalton love her, and through me she's gotten closer to some of the others in glee. Don't be shocked if things are different when you go back tomorrow."
"Who? Who is she closer to?" I ask, hoping her won't say Puck.
He laughs, knowing what I'm asking. "I think that's something you should ask her. But Tina and Mercedes are getting to know her better, they both really care about her. Quinn too if you'd believe it."
"Really Quinn?" I say, I just can't see my ex's getting along but I guess they have a few things in common.
"Really."
"Huh! How about that?"
"Yeah it's odd to watch them together, given their history." He says, "Can I ask you something?"
"I guess."
"Do you still love her?"
"Of course I do."
"Then why not fight for her?"
"I don't know. She went to Puck, she wanted to sleep with him."
"Do you really believe that? You honestly think that when in came down to it that she'd have done that, after all her talk about having sex mean something?"
I just look at him, I'd never really thought beyond her intentions in that moment.
"She was mad, furious, and I can't really blame her. I know you're my brother now, but keeping what you did from her for all that time was cruel, especially when you consider that Santana was the one to tell her, to rub it in her face."
"I know I should have told her. I was so scared if I told her I'd lose her."
"Looks like you lost her anyway. I know if it were me in her position, I would have much rather heard it from the person I love rather than the person who torments me on a daily basis. Think about it." he says, patting my knee. "I'm going to go get my stuff ready to take back to school with me."
"Okay." I say staring at the spinning character on the screen.
Mom and Burt return that afternoon, we go out for family dinner. Kurt leave's for school after dinner and I have our room to myself. I think about all the things Kurt told me, and wonder if maybe there is hope for us.
I look for her the next day at school, but I don't see her before class. I'm walking from math to history when I spot her, she looks so different it's no wonder I didn't see her, it actually takes my brain a moment to realize it's her. She walking with Quinn and Mercedes. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail, her bangs framing her face. She's wearing skinny jeans which shocks me and soft black turtleneck, a wide belt around her tiny waist, and sexy as hell knee high boots. She looks over at me as they walk by talking and laughing. I just smile at her, and lift my hand in a small wave. She looks happy, and I'm a little sad that she seems to be getting along just fine without me.
I walk into glee the next day to find her again sitting with Quinn and Mercedes, but she's joined by Sam who has his arm draped around Quinn's shoulders, Puck, Tina, and Mike. She's telling some story, her face alight with joy as she talks and waves her hands around. They all laugh when she finishes talking, looking like they've been the best of friends for years.
I'm about to find a seat when Artie and Brittany come in, smiling at me but joining the others. Santana stomps in moments later, and everyone but Brittany just glare at her. I get the feeling that I've missed something important, everyone seemed fine when we decorated the tree at Mr. Schue's but I haven't really seen or talked to anyone from glee since that night. Santana throws her bag down and slumps into her chair, glaring at the others then at me. I take a seat over near the others but not actually appearing like I'm part of the group. My eyes are drawn to her, I can't believe how amazing she looks. She's beautiful.
"Welcome back everyone." Mr. Schuester says entering the room. "I hope you all had a good winter break, and are all rested and ready to start thinking about regionals."
Rachel stands, addressing him. "I've come up with a list of some songs we should think about preforming. I've chosen songs that I think match everyone's vocal talents."
"Wow, Rachel this is amazing." He says looking over the list she handed to him. "Interesting choices."
"Well, I had some help figuring it all out." She says smiling at the others.
"Who want's to start with something?" he asks.
"I'd like to sing something." Puck stands, grabbing his guitar. He plays a few notes and starts singing, strutting around the room. Rachel is sitting back with the others, watching him eagerly. Brad joins in on his song, which I recognize as The Killers Dustland Fairytale. He flirt's with all the girls as he sings, even I have to admit he has stage presence. I hear Santana snarl from behind me, again I wonder what's happened. They all cheer and clap when he's done.
"Very nice!" Mr. Schue praises. "Looks like you've all kept up the practice over the break." There are a few nods amongst the main group.
We talk some more about songs and regionals and soon the hour is up and the day is over. Rachel, Puck and I are the last remaining ones in the room.
"Rach, can I talk to you?" I ask, my voice cracking as I say her name.
Puck looks at her quickly, she just nods at him. "Go, Noah. It's fine."
"Later Berry." He says warmly, shooting me a look that clearly says you make her cry I punch your face.
We stand there uncomfortably for a few minutes.
"What did you want Finn?" she asks, her voice a little sharp, as she goes to sit at the piano.
"Um, how was you're break?" I ask stupidly.
"Really good, it turned out much better than I could have hoped for. Yours?" she asks politely.
"Not so good, I spent a lot of time alone, thinking, trying to get my head sorted out. You look good." I say and she blushes at the compliment.
"Thanks." she smiles at me sheepishly. "Kurt and Mercedes did a make over on my closet. I felt like I needed a change, a new look for a new year. I think it's time my wardrobe grew up a little"
"Oh." I say.
"They actually let me keep quite a few pieces. Kurt says it was more of a tweak than a full blown make over."
"Well, you seem happy, closer to everyone. Can I ask what happened, it seems like Santana was odd one out today."
"She is the bad guy, why shouldn't she be the odd one out."
"OK?" I ask wanting to know more.
"She tried to put the moves on Sam, even though he and Quinn are clearly together." She explains.
"Well that explains a lot."
"Yeah, it seems everyone is finally seeing her for who she really is, and not many people are feeling overly friendly towards her after the events of the past month. She's toxic."
"I could have told you that." I say.
"And yet it didn't stop you from sleeping with her." she says, her eyes hard.
"No, it didn't." I say, "I have no excuse, honestly I wasn't in the best place emotionally when it happened, and for what it's worth it was a mistake. I knew it then, and I know it now."
"So then why'd you do it?" she asks calmly.
"At the time, I thought it would change things. I don't know, you were with Jesse, I suppose I thought it might hurt you, that it would make us even, somehow."
"I can relate." She says bitterly, staring off towards the door, where I'm sure Puck is lurking.
"Would you have slept with him?" I ask.
"Who Jesse or Noah?"
"Either, I suppose."
"No. I told you I couldn't sleep with Jesse because I was still in love with you. I wanted to sleep with Noah to punish you for sleeping with Santana, but I know deep down I would have stopped things if he didn't. I knew going off with Noah was the one thing that would hurt you the most. I'm sorry." She says honestly.
"I forgive you." I say quietly.
"I know, I forgive you too but that's not enough is it."
"Not really. I wanted to believe we were perfect, but we weren't were we?"
"Nobody's perfect, that's something I've come to accept in the last few weeks."
"How did we fall apart?" I ask.
"I'm not sure. I suppose we let our insecurities get the best of us, we stopped talking or perhaps never really started talking."
"I should have told you about Santana. I should have told you last spring. If I'd only told you the truth from the start, it would have saved us both so much heartache. The longer I kept it a secret, the harder it got to tell you, and the less I wanted to hurt you."
"I would have understood, it might have upset me for a while, but I would have gotten over it. I was mostly mad that you kept it from me for so long. Sure it hurt to know that your first time was with Santana and not me, but I can't change the past. Then you had to go and say she was super hot, that kind of pushed me over the edge."
"Yeah, that wasn't the smartest thing. I was upset she told you, and you were taking it so badly, I didn't give any thought to how you might be feeling. I didn't mean it. You're beautiful Rachel, I've always thought so. I know that the other's say mean stuff about you, but they're wrong. I should have stood up for you more, I was just so scared that if I stood up to Santana and the other's that she'd tell you about last spring and I didn't want to hurt you like that so I just pretended like I didn't hear it. Which I now see hurt you just as much, I'm sorry. I should have been a better boyfriend." I'm sitting next to her on the piano bench, I reach for her hand.
"I still loved you, regardless of what happened. I think I will always love you."
"Me too. Do you think we could try again? Do you still want to be my girlfriend?"
"I do, but I have a few conditions. No more secrets, ever. If we want things to work between us we really have to talk and listen. We have to be honest with each other. You have to have my back, if you love me like you say you do then you need to stand up and say something when people put me down, same goes for me I have to have your back."
"Sounds, reasonable. But I have a condition of my own. No kissing other people."
"Agreed. I'm going to want to take things slow Finn. I know you think I'm a prude, and that may not change, are you okay waiting for me to be ready?"
"I'll wait forever for you if I have to Rachel."
"You won't have to wait that long Finn, but I really want to be sure I'm ready. And a open and honest relationship can only help that along."
I smile at her. "Can I kiss you yet?" I ask.
"I thought you'd never ask." She beams up with me. I cup her face in my hands and lower my lips to hers, kissing her softly. I rest my forehead against hers looking deep into her eyes.
"I love you Rachel."
"I love you too Finn."
She stands, grabs my hand, threading our fingers together. She pulls me up and towards the hallway. I see Puck loitering a few feet down the hall, he nods at us and I know that this time around things will be different.