Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. Just a fan.

Chapter One

Looking back on it now, I think I could've done things differently. Things could've been a lot different, actually. My heart pounded in my chest. How long had I been standing there? I could almost feel the hard Earth pounding beneath my feet. It had been my fault, all my fault and I would never let myself live it down. I had to live with it every day, and sadly, because it was my fault, my mistake.

My mind drifted back to a day, ten years ago. I was sixteen, and my teenage years were going in a downward spiral. I guess one could call it a rebellious stage, mine might've been worse than other teenagers, however. I was sitting on the couch in my house of that time, flipping quickly through the channels. I wasn't too engrossed in any show that was currently on TV, nothing was on. I heard someone walk up behind me, I didn't need to turn around, for the voice confirmed who it was for me.

"Derek, Derek, Derek," she taunted. I rolled my eyes and threw the remote at the wall. The remote back fell off and the batteries scattered across the room.

"Casey," I growled, somewhat infuriated. It was just like her to come and interrupt me when I was having Derek Venturi time. "What do you want? To nag me about something else, keeping my room clean, putting the toilet seat down? For once, I have not bothered you and you come up and just…" I trailed off; I didn't know how to finish. …but the sad truth was that she did nag me way too much.

"You're right," she muttered, "I was going to nag you. …but you have to see, that if you don't start that science report, you're going to fail science. George won't like that, your teachers won't like that, and I'm sure my mom won't tolerate it either! I'm just trying to care about you."

I rolled my eyes and ruffled my fingers through my hair. "Whatever Casey, that's pressure not caring." I got up and stalked upstairs. I wasn't in the mood to fight with her now, I wasn't up for it. I was sick, not fever sick, but sick with guilt. There were worse things then failing science. Of all people, one may not think that I was capable of feeling guilty, but sure enough, I was. I walked into my room and fell onto my bed; my hand reached under my mattress and pulled out a black box. I reached into my black, leather jacket pocket and pulled out a key and unlocked the box.

I opened the box slowly, and then closed it. I walked over to my door and made sure it was locked. I didn't want anyone walking into my room. I opened the box again and pulled out a tiny zip lock bag. Inside was a white powder, you may have guessed it, cocaine. Don't ask me how, because it's still all a blur to me. I was about to pour it out onto my dresser when there was a knock at the door. I seemed to have jumped a foot from fright. I quickly put the drugs into my pocket and closed the box and hid it back under the mattress. "Yeah?" I called out so the person on the other side of the door could hear me.

"Derek," came Casey's voice. Again, I rolled my eyes. What did she want? "Derek. I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what's wrong with you, I think something is, do you want to talk?"

"No Casey!" I yelled. "Leave me alone, please. I don't feel very well!" I felt a little bad, well, not really. I just hated hiding the truth from everyone, but ignorance is bliss, and the less Casey knew, the less she'd have to worry.

"Do you want me to get mom or dad? Do you want some medicine?"

Good ol' Casey, always trying to do the right thing. That was going to get her killed one day. I snickered quietly. "Casey, please, don't. I'll be okay, I need a nap." I took the drugs out of my pocket and poured them onto my dresser. I then took my school ID and straightened the cocaine out into a line, and then, I snorted it. I closed the baggy and then stuffed it into my jacket pocket. It was all I had, I had to make it last. I laid down on my bed, just to enjoy my high.

I inhaled the stale air of my bedroom. How did I get caught up in this drug craze? The wrong crowd maybe? I guess that was it. It really is funny, I had no idea how I started. A friend or acquaintance asked me if I wanted some, to try it. I remember it had been so good, a great feeling. I was finally escaping it all, school, family, annoying ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, and Casey. She was about all I could take. I loved to mess with her, tease her, I knew, sometimes I took it too far with her, but lately…

Hate is a strong word, so I didn't want to say I hated Casey, at all. It was just her perky, smart, I'm-way-better-than-you attitude, that I just couldn't stand. She was too perfect, in possibly every way, that's what sickened me about her the most. She never takes chances, she's too good… way too good…

xxxx

I didn't know how long I had been asleep, exactly, but I heard a loud pounding at my door. I opened up my eyes groggily and sat up in the bed. My head was pounding, I rubbed my temples with my index fingers and walked to the door and opened it up. Edwin, my younger brother was standing there.

"Hey, big bro," he smiled and winked at me. "Nora told me to come up here and wake you up, or see what you were doing. Dinner is ready."

"How long was I asleep?" I asked and rubbed my head.

"Casey said you came up here around three thirty and it's almost seven now. So, I guess that makes it three and a half hours?"

"Makes sense," I muttered. "Tell Nora and dad that I'm still feeling sick, I'll be in bed if anyone needs me. Thanks though, Ed." I shook my head and shut the door. My sniffled and my body was burning up. Was it the drugs? I never remembered them having this effect before. I got into my bed and wrapped myself up into the warm covers and sighed with relief. I could do this... I could get through this...

xxxx

I wasn't waking up very well, or at least not waking up without being interrupted, over and over again. Someone was pounding at my door again. I got up, I saw outside my window the sun was brightly shining into my room, casting shadows from the window's blinds to my floor. I suddenly remembered the cocaine in my pocket and stuffed it into the box. "Yeah?" I yelled out, to the door.

"Derek, it's me, Nora. We've got to talk."

I froze up. Did Nora know? What would she do? I closed my eyes tightly and hid the box. Think Derek, think, c'mon man. I swallowed the grotesque feeling in my throat and opened the door. "Hey Nora," I whispered.

"Derek? Are you alright? Casey and Edwin both said you weren't looking too well."

"Casey should keep quiet," I muttered under my breathe.

"Oh my gosh, Derek, your eyes are bloodshot, your face is flushed." Nora put her cold hand to my burning forehead. I winced. "Stay home. I think you're sick. I'll be right back let me get a thermometer."

Stay home. I think you're sick would be a perfect line if it was a school day. Instead, with it being Saturday, it means, stay in your room. No leaving it at all. No friends, no movies, no games, nothing. I could be okay with that, all I wanted to do was lay down, think, try to solve some problems. That's all I needed, to straighten out my priorities. I clicked my tongue and sat down in a plush filled chair in my room. I practically sunk into it and relaxed.