Don't Close Your Eyes
#13—View:
"Don't close your eyes," Sadiq whispers as they stand in front of the mirror, and when his words are heeded he continues, "See what I see when I look at you, Matthew, the person who is beautiful both inside and out; do you listen to those who cannot see you, or me, who can?"
#01—Rings
Sometimes Matthew wonders at Sadiq's ability to make him feel like he's spinning in circles when he's quite sure he's standing still.
#02—Hero
Whenever Alfred goes off on another one of his 'I'm the HERO' spiels, Sadiq looks at the man sitting beside him, this beautiful man who suffers for his brother every day, and knows who the true hero is.
#03—Memory
When Sadiq touches him, holds him close, it is all Matthew can do not to cry; he cannot ever remember a touch so gentle, so loving, as to make him feel so precious.
#04—Box
Sadiq stares at the thing as though it might bite him at any moment; Matthew laughs, because he cannot understand why the man who was once known as a blood-thirsty conqueror can be so afraid of such a simple thing as a box of chocolates.
#05—Run
The looks they are being given makes him want to flee, as fast and as far as he can go; it is only the anchoring presence of Matthew's hand at his side and the pained, hopeful expression on his face that keeps him where he is, because he'll do whatever it takes to keep that hope in his eyes.
#06—Hurricane
When their worlds are crumbling around them, they are each other's eyes of the storm, the other's arms the only place where peace is the only thing that matters.
#07—Wings
Matthew is like a butterfly, Sadiq thinks—beautiful and unique if you can only see beneath the surface, catchable if you wait long enough, and desperate to fly even if his wings are broken and pinned.
#08—Cold
The night is cold and he shivers in spite of himself, not used to such biting chill, but with Matthew beside him pointing to the stars high above and laughing, it feels just a little bit warmer.
#09—Red
Everything turns a blinding, angry red when he hears Prussia dare to ask his Matthew on a date, but it all fades to a soothing purple and gold when Matthew slips an arm around his waist, kisses him gently, and happily and not the least bit apologetically informs the other that he's taken.
#10—Drink
Despite the surely stricken look on his face, Sadiq gently tugs the glass from Matthew's hands and leads him to bed; when Matthew wakes up the next morning with a blinding headache, he merely stares at the man lying peacefully next to him, the man that when he wakes up holds Matthew tight and desperate and whispers, 'You are not worthless.'
#11—Midnight
Midnight comes and goes and Matthew is still sitting at the window, wide awake; Sadiq was supposed to be home nearly three hours ago.
#12—Temptation
It takes every ounce of Matthew's willpower not to give in to the urge to punch his brother in the face, if only to stop the tide of words spewing from him mouth about how terrible, wrong, and bad Sadiq is; he cannot help the slightly sadistic thought, 'maybe just once...'
#13—View
"Don't close your eyes," Sadiq whispers as they stand in front of the mirror, and when his words are heeded he continues, "See what I see when I look at you, Matthew, the person who is beautiful both inside and out; do you listen to those who cannot see you, or me, who can?"
#14—Music
Sadiq doesn't know why they're in the middle of a snow covered valley in the middle of the mountains in the middle of winter, but when Matthew opens his mouth and begins to sing in a language he doesn't know but is beautiful all the same, he listens to the sound roll off the mountains and realizes you don't need to know to understand.
#15—Silk
Often when they fight they slip into their native tongues, the two separate languages dancing and melding in the air into a sound that slips away like silk, and inevitably they forget what they were fighting about.
#16—Cover
Sadiq is the only one to see the flash of hurt in Matthew's eyes before it is covered by a bright, fake smile and a hastily given excuse to leave the room.
#17—Promise
A promise was a promise was a promise but damnit he did not want to do this; why the hell had he promised Sadiq that if they watched hockey last night he would kiss him in front of the entire World Conference; did Sadiq have a death wish?
#18—Dream
He dreams that it was all a dream, and that he is alone just like he has always been before, alone and forgotten; when he wakes up shaking with tears streaming down his face, Sadiq is the one to hold him and remind him that everything is real and it was just a dream.
#19—Candle
When Prussia tries once more to convince him to leave Sadiq, citing his own feelings for the Canadian, Matthew finally snaps and tells him in no uncertain terms that if he loved him so much then where was he when he needed someone the most; "I may have felt something for you once, Gilbert, but it doesn't hold a candle to what I feel for Sadiq now."
#20—Talent
Matthew may be silent and invisible and forgettable 99% of the time, but nothing beats the Canadian's pancakes and maple syrup on a quiet Sunday morning, and Sadiq will be damned if he'll share that talent with anyone else.
#21—Silence
They say nothing because there is nothing to be said, only hold each other close and with silence try to say that for which they cannot find the words; 'Can we trust enough to believe in this?'
#22—Journey
They know that it's a long, hard road they face ahead of them, a road that might not even have an end, but they're willing to face all it so long as they face it together, for however long forever is.
#23—Fire
They are often compared to fire and ice, but Sadiq wonders if anyone but he can see the quiet fire in Matthew's eyes, the passion and fury quelled by years of icy ignorance, and he awaits the day when it will finally blaze and break free with an amused, eager sort of expectation.
#24—Strength
Matthew is not weak, and Sadiq knows this better than anyone else; he has seen the scars, heard the stories, even has the memories, but knows his true strength lies in his ability to face every day with a smile, even if no one smiles back.
#25—Mask
The first time Matthew sees Sadiq without his mask, it is by accident; the second time, it is by force; the third time, it is by choice, and Matthew chases away the deeply-hidden fear with the simple words,"You are beautiful."
#26—Ice
While Matthew is like fire in his anger, rare as it is, Sadiq is ice itself, eyes and voice cold and flat beyond belief; you don't know you're dying until you're already dead.
#27—Fall
The other nations ask how the two could possibly fall for each other, but what they don't understand is this; it's not falling when what waits at the end is all you've been looking for.
#28—Forgotten
Matthew stands at the window for an hour, waiting, and when Sadiq finally sees the first tears fall he gently guides him away and up the stairs, intent on doing their own forgetting; as he passes he reaches up to tear down the brightly colored banner that reads 'Happy Birthday Matthew!' leaving it discarded and forgotten on the floor.
#29—Dance
The music starts and everything fades away until it's just the two of them on a beautiful winter's night, swaying to a melody that no one else can hear.
#30—Body
"You will take him from me over my dead body," Sadiq hisses; his gaze flits to the still form of his lover in the vast white hospital bed, and then back to the angry faces of Matthew's family, and he growls, "You have no right to him at all, you goddamned hypocrites!"
#31—Sacred
Nothing is sacred when America decides to go off on another one of his "I must save Mattie from the evil Turk!" jaunts except for the mask, the pancake ingredients, the maple syrup, the hamburgers, Kumajiro, and Texas.
#32—Farewells
They can feel their hearts break every time the other leaves, even though they know it's not forever, and so they never say good-bye—only see you soon—because saying good-bye is like admitting that it is forever.
#33—World
It is only when Matthew sees Sadiq's lips meet Egypt's that he realizes just how much Sadiq has come to define him and his world; a world that is crumbling and shattering around him along with his heart.
#34—Formal
"A pleasure to see you, Mr. Turkey," Matthew says tightly with a slight bow, certain that no one but him and the one in front of him—with that pained, broken look in his eyes—can hear the bitterness and mockery contained in every word.
#35—Fever
"I don't know what the hell you did to my brother and right now I don't care; right now he is sick and in pain and if he still calls out for you when he's got a temperature of 104 fuckin' degrees, you had damned well get your stupid Turkish ass over here!"
#36—Laugh
When he laughs, it is wild, hysterical, broken, and happy; the one time he decided to believe what they told him about Sadiq, it wasn't true—just like it never was, and though Sadiq looks slightly scared for his sanity, it all just fades away when Matthew's lips meet his, still laughing.
#37—Lies
"Lie to me...tell me whatever you want, but please...don't tell me I screwed this up so bad that I'm losing you," Matthew whispers against his chest, and Sadiq's arms tighten in spite of his desire to simply scream, 'Why couldn't you trust me?'
#38—Forever
Even for them, there is no such thing as forever, but however long it lasts, they'll stay together if only to not have to face the possibility of forever without each other.
#39—Overwhelmed
When Sadiq sinks to one knee if front of him, Matthew is quite sure his heart stops, starting again only a moment later as the beautiful silver ring is revealed; his vision blurs as he sinks to his knees with his heart exploding in his chest and it is only several seconds later, as Sadiq's panicked calls reach his ears, that he is able to reach out and cling to the other with all his might, desperately whispering, "Yes, yes, yes."
#40—Whisper
He pretends that he cannot hear the whispers as they walk down the street holding hands, the whispers of ordinary people; he pretends that he cannot hear the whispers of the other nations at the ring on his finger, because with Sadiq by his side whispering into his ear how much he loves him, none of it matters anymore.
#41—Wait
"I'll wait for you—you'd better come back to me," Sadiq murmurs fiercely against Matthew's hair, and it is only the other's murmured, "I swear," that keeps him from chasing after him as he walks away to war, to a place where Sadiq cannot follow.
#42—Talk
He hears them talk behind his back, quickly stopping beneath the heat of his glare, because no matter what they say he is not cracking; he is breaking with the absence of Matthew to keep him whole, without the sound of his voice to pull him back from the edge.
#43—Searching
His eyes search the crowd with a hidden desperation—where is he, where is he, where is he—but then he's there and all those months spent searching for some way to fill the void seem so pointless, because with Matthew in his arms he realizes he could have spent forever searching and he never would have found a moment as perfect as this.
#44—Hope
Matthew's last hope of his family ever accepting his relationship with Sadiq flickered and died when they walked in on him and Sadiq making out in an empty room—nothing that they hadn't seen before, but it might have had something to do with the hand down his pants and the suspicious mark on his neck...
#45—Eclipse
Sadiq is sometimes afraid of how much his love for Matthew has come to consume his life; like an eclipse, it is something beautiful, rare, and precious, but you cannot look directly at it for fear of being blinded by its brilliance.
#46—Gravity
Matthew sometimes believes that Sadiq is the only thing anchoring him to this life, his love the only thing worth staying for; because without it he is quite sure he would have long ago drifted and vanished for lack of will to stay.
#47—Highway
They're told they've got a one way ticket to hell for what they are, but Sadiq merely raises a brow and turns to Matthew, saying, "Wow, Matthew, God must have really lowered the standards; we're going to hell because we love each other, how terrible!"
#48—Unknown
To both of them, the thought of life without the other is unthinkable, unfathomable—and to face even one day without knowing that no matter where they are, the other is waiting, would be to them to face a world unknown.
#49—Lock
Before Matthew, Sadiq kept his heart under lock and key, refusing to allow it freedom from its cage for fear of having it break another's; before Sadiq, Matthew's heart was locked away, deep inside, afraid to break free of its cage for fear of being broken.
#50—Breathe
Sadiq lies awake in the night with one hand resting on Matthew's heart, listening to him breathe—if only to reassure himself that despite it all, despite the pain and the hardship and the heartbreak, he's still there—
—and when they wake up in the morning, he'll still be his.
Response to Livejournal's 1sentence challenge, theme set Gamma with pairing Sadiq Adnan (Turkey) x Matthew Williams (Canada). Numbers 33-37, 39 and 40, and 41-43 are the only ones interconnected with each other, though those three groups themselves are separate from each other. There is no historical accuracy in this whatsoever, though I'm pretty sure Turkey and Canada have an alliance.
Pairing inspired by stories Northern Lights by ChaosLydia and The TurkishCanadian Alliance by Oliversgurl, which I highly recommend you read.
I am highly aware that Matthew and Sadiq are very OOC in parts of this; I don't care. I wrote the themes as I saw them, and yes some of them are run-ons but WHATEVER.
Please see my newly revamped profile for information and updates regarding my other stories.
DISCLAIMER: I hold no claim to Hetalia or any related franchises.