Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: We would never be foolish enough to claim IZ as our own, carry-on and please don't sue.
Summery: One little thing can change so much, one little accident in Zim's base leaves the alien exposed and Dib determined to protect him. ZADR
Betas: Eloarei,MissMune and Orangechidna on dA! You guys are love. -
'This is the worst day of my life!'
That might seem a bit harsh and more then a bit inaccurate compared to last week's cobra incident, but Dib wasn't exactly thinking clearly. It's hard to think clearly when you're hanging upside-down. It's even harder to think clearly when you're hanging upside-down in the main laboratory of your arch nemesis.
That morning hadn't been too horrible. Gaz had come into her brother's room at around five in the morning to 'discuss' the lack of cereal. After that early wake-up call, Dib had slept through his alarm clock. Of course, he'd been late to skool, which didn't exactly sit well with Ms. Bitters and, in all the fuss; he hadn't brought anything edible for lunch and had had to eat the cafeteria food.
To add insult to irritation and mild food-poisoning, Zim was completely absorbed in his latest evil plan. The little, green alien had ignored him all day. At the very least, SOMEONE should have gotten some enjoyment out of Dib's lousy day.
The day hadn't become remarkably awful until after Skool, when he had set out to discover Zim's evil plan, stop it, expose him as an alien, and save the world. Just the usual Friday night stuff. He had snuck in the usual way, by offering GIR something shiny, and then set about the more challenging task of breaking into the underground labs. After fifteen minutes of searching the house level and distracting GIR with random knickknacks from his pockets, he found the perfect way in: a ventilation shaft.
Though Dib did not know it, it was not a ventilation shaft but part of the laser-badger defense program that the Irken was installing. At the moment, all the young paranormal investigator cared about was that it was large enough for him to fit into, would no doubt lead to something interesting, and would take him far away from the Scary Monkey Show marathon GIR had had playing.
"Gir!" Dib jumped and flattened himself against the wall, certain that he had been caught. "Get down to the main-lab." It was not the Irken himself but a transmission from deeper in the lab.
"Yes, my master!" The small robot hoped off of the couch and ran screaming into the kitchen. Dib let out a sigh of relief when Gir left , still a little shocked that Zim hadn't caught him yet.
Without another thought, Dib had crawled into the small opening. It was a tight fit, but he managed quite well. Years of fighting with Zim had made him more than used to uncomfortable positions.
After a few moments of claustrophobic crawling, with nothing to listen to but his own breath and the receding sounds of the Scary Monkey Show theme, Dib was
starting to rethink his plan.
The badger-tunnel took an unexpected and quite vertical curve downward. Dib let out a yelp as he was went hurtling down, face first into the unknown. He scrabbled at the smooth sides of the tunnel and wondered frantically where it went after all. He was just imagining the alien experimentation and torture rooms he could fall into accidentally when he slid to a stop.
Soft red light filtered through a grate below him, originally for badger ventilation, and a familiar maniacal laughter filled the small space.
"Muahahahaha!!"
"I don't get it."
"How can you not get it?! It's so SIMPLE, so ingeniously brilliant that it would almost make the Dib's head look... not-big."
Dib bit his tongue to keep from defending the normality of his head and slid forward to see what Zim was doing. Unfortunately, he weighed a great deal more then
the average laser-badger and the grate just wasn't up to the strain. With a metallic squeal, it gave way underneath him, tumbling into the jumble of wires below.
There was no time to react, and though Dib made a grab
for the remaining edge of the pipe, he could not keep
himself from falling.
Dib winced, bracing himself for a painful landing. When he didn't hit the floor after a moment, he tentatively opened one eye. He was lying in the web of the wires and cables that covered the ceiling of the lab. With a sigh of relief, Dib sat up only to slip in between two of the larger cables. Again, the anticipated crash that did not occur. Instead, he dangled precariously from his foot that had been caught in between two of the wires.
He had been like that for almost half an hour now, listening to GIR sing and Zim babble about everything BUT his evil plan. The worst part of all was the blood that was really starting to rush to his head.
Dib made another fruitless attempt to free himself, reaching his arm up towards the tangle of red and purple wires around his boot. Just as he had one of the smaller striped wires wrapped around his wrist and was pulling himself up, an ear-piercing screech echoed through the room.
"HIIII, MUFFFIN MAAAAN!"
Dib lost his grip on the wire he held and fell. He was
yanked to a stop by his leg.
"Gir! Who are you talking to?"
The SIR unit stared upward, a small glob of ice-cream dripping from his mouth.
"I'm talkin' to the muffins!"
"Eh?" Zim looked up to see what had captured the SIR's attention. "Oh, the 'muffin man', is it?" Dib could almost hear Zim's eyes narrow. It had been awhile since he had made it this far into the alien's lab.
Zim walked around below Dib, looking up at the ceiling suspiciously. His antennae quivered in curiosity. As soon as he saw Dib his scarlet eyes narrowed further, and he bared his sharp teeth in a snarl.
"Dib-human, what are you doing up there?! Get your filthy flesh-bag self out of here!" He came closer to stand beside Gir and inspect the trapped human. "Heh, your face is red." A Cheshire cat grin spread over his features, and he nodded in satisfaction. "Good work Gir, everything is falling into place just as I expected."
"No it isn't!" The small robot proclaimed, promptly getting into a wobbly headstand, mimicking the upside down human.
Zim didn't bother answering the robot. Instead, he let two of his long, metallic spider legs slip out of his Pak and hoist him up until he was looming over the Dib.
"Now, Dib, explain why you are here! I will never tell you anything of my AMAZING plan, so don't ask!" The Cheshire cat grin remained plastered to his face, "Yes, I will never tell you that I am planning to hypnotize them and send them to infect the entire planet with the Mad Badger Disease!!!"
Suddenly, Gir fell over with a squeak and knocked one of Zim's metallic legs from under him. With a loud cry, he fell forward into the jumble of wires beside Dib.
The human stared at the Irken, still trying to process the statement about Badger Disease. Zim began thrashing around while streams of 'useless robots' and 'pig worms' came tumbling from his lips. As he struggled, intent on freeing himself, he didn't notice the wires becoming increasingly tighter around his slender body.
It was only when Zim found that he could no longer move that he stopped his violent thrashing and began to pick apart the wires. The four, metal spider-legs were now so entangled that the Irken couldn't retract them. He muttered a few colorful curses under his breath, the human directly in front of him completely forgotten.