Please keep in mind that Rule of Funny is in effect here. Yes, I am sure that in reality someone would have something (better) to say, and no I do not dislike Cross.
In Memory Of
The service is fairly small, for such a larger than life man, attended only by the Exorcists who happened to be at the Order at the time and a few other various personnel. General Cross probably would have been insulted. But they gather around the coffin none the less, to pay their last respects. Komui had already given a short speech he had prepared, and now silence descends over the group. The body will be taken away soon, to be burned, but first they are expected to say something about their fallen General. Something good about him, fond recollections perhaps.
The silence is deafening.
"He…" Komui bravely attempts, but trails off and falls silent. Allen wracks his brains. Surely after all of those years there is at least one good thing he can think of. Even if it isn't completely true, just one thing that he can spin into a redeeming quality. Just one…
"He was… very…" Lenalee attempts, stalling but refusing to give up. "Very… …"
No, she has nothing. Lenalee glances up at the others; they all seem to be pondering, reminiscing over all of their past interactions with the deceased man. There has to be something, right….?
"… He always…"
People are starting to shift uncomfortably, glancing around at one another hopefully only to grimace, shaking their heads.
"He had nice hair."
All eyes go to the back of the crowd, where Jerry is standing. The man shrugs. There's an awkward moment where no one knows quite what to say, then…
They all nod solemnly.
"Beautiful hair," Lenalee agrees, sounding somewhat relieved. Kanda jerks his head in a slight nod of appreciation.
"A work of art," Lavi adds.
"True thing of beauty."
"Never a strand out of place."
"A sight to behold."
Komui wraps his arms around the funeral's savior in the background, as Reever pats him on the back for a job well done. The coffin is rolled away as the onlookers swap stories about just how amazing that head of hair was, sharing stories they had heard about what gave it that radiant shine.
"Pretty damn good in bed too."
There is a moment of complete silence as the entire assembly collectively wonders who said that. The service disperses in record time.