JJ felt the bullet as it sunk deep in her chest. She hit the ground, and she'd stopped breathing for a second. Her heart ached as she struggled a gasp for air. She felt her eyes close as her head bashed against the hard terrain. She couldn't keep them open anymore. It hurt too much.
"JJ!" She heard.
In a matter of seconds, Aaron Hotchner was sitting by her side, grasping her hand tighter than he had when she was having Henry. That said a lot. She was in a lot of pain when she had Henry, and before Will got there, she practically begged for Aaron to stay with her and hold her hand as she got through the contractions. That left his hand ultimately sore for days. Will was still trying to make it up to him.
"JJ, no, dear, please. Jennifer... JJ!" The blonde let out a cry of pain that broke Hotchner's heart. He couldn't keep his tears in.
JJ could feel the tight squeeze her boss gave her hands. She could faintly hear him whispering, "no, no, don't you leave me."
Her heavy eyes fully closed, plunging her deep into her nightmares. Only this time, it wasn't the same as her usual ones, where she'd instantly regret even joining the FBI. She'd die in those dreams, but sometimes, she wanted them to be real. She wouldn't have to deal with all the regret and loss she'd endured. The darkness slowly turned into a blinding light, like the one that came from heaven.
She saw three silhouettes in the distance, walking slowly over to her. Two toddlers and a tall girl. She knew who the girl was, Rosaline. Her sister. Her heart ached to see her, and now was her chance. She hugged the girl so tightly, she thought she'd actually fixed her, put her back together.
"Mom misses you, and I do, Ros, I really, really, miss you. Everyday I play with your necklace because I know you're up here looking over me. It hurts that I can't see your face anymore. I feel so lost." Ros have a sad smile and bobbed her head downwards, to the children.
"Mommy." They said, simultaneously.
JJ could swear her heart stopped beating.
"I miss you." One of the children said.
When her vision cleared, she made out the two tiny figures. A boy, and a girl. Twins.
"I've kept them safe for you, Jenny, just like I kept you safe. All these years. Jenny, please, don't be afraid. We're all watching over you. I've raised these children, and they get so much joy watching you, their daddy, and their older brother grow up."
JJ smiled and she bent down to kiss each of the children's foreheads.
"You know, I named them." JJ whispered, not even bothering to wipe her tears.
"Yeah, and they know, too." Ros gave a sad grin.
JJ knew she lost twins. Of course, not in the moment. But in her dreams, she'd see them. They'd be hand in hand, walking down a little path, right beside her. They had wings, too. As crazy as it sounded, they were like, little angels. Sometimes, she'd come home from work before Henry got home from kindergarten, and she'd find some of his toys in different spots. She knew it was them. Henry had claimed he'd seen a little boy and girl playing in the backyard. It all made sense.
It was them.
JJ had bought her lost daughter a doll, just to signify the fact she'd almost had one herself. She'd always wanted a daughter, and even though she was happy with Henry, she'd wanted a girl because deep down, she knew that her sister's spirit would reside within her.
"Momma?" One of the children questioned.
"Yeah, baby?"
"You know when you read Baby Star to Henry?"
JJ nodded.
"We come and sit on your shoulder and listen, too. It's our favourite."
JJ swallowed thickly. She could've had these children. Three beautiful children to snuggle and tuck in every night, to sing to sleep when nights were rough.. To love, and to physically cradle in her arms when they were so tired and finished with everything. She could've had them. They were her favourite "what if?".
"Tell daddy about us." The little boy said.
"I can't." JJ shook her head. "It's hard for mommies to tell others about their lost children."
"We miss you at Christmas," they remarked, crying, "and last year we watched Henry put the angel on top of the tree."
"Ooh," the other chimed in, "and I watched you hang our stars up. The ones that say we had Christmas without you."
JJ knew she was reaching out for the children, but she couldn't physically feel them. She couldn't feel Ros, either.
"Mommy... You can have another baby. We will always be here, waiting for you. And when you're away at work and Henry needs a hug, we'll hug him because he's our brother, and nobody deserves to lose their siblings. Nobody."
JJ smiled tearfully. "Wow," she remarked, "are you sure they're 3?"
Ros laughed. "They have a great a mother, what do you expect?"
The younger girl took Ros' hand. "I miss you, Rozzy. Sometimes, you know, a case hits me hard, and I just wanna rip off that necklace. I wanna let it strangle me. And I call mom, and it's just not the same. I crave your voice, and I somehow find myself looking through scrapbooks.. You know, pictures of us. There aren't many, mostly because I was shy and hated photos, but the ones we have.. I keep with me."
"Mommy, stop, please don't go!" One of the kids cried out.
JJ watched as their hands reached out, and they fell on their knees, absolutely bawling their eyes out.
"I'm sorry. I have to. I love you so, so much, darlings. Don't forget that." And with that, JJ faded back into the real world.
"Agent? Hello? Jennifer?" The nurse said, waving her hand in front of her.
"What h-happened?" She stumbled, examining all the wires and tubes attached to her.
"You were shot. Severely shot, Jennifer. It was a miracle you even made it. You must have some little angels on your shoulders." She smiled.
JJ felt a hot tear as it raced down her cheek. The thought of her innocent children remained strong in her mind. Their voices, she'd heard them for the first time. She'd heard her tiny little angels talk, and that's all she's ever wanted. "You're right." JJ swallowed back a breakdown.
"I do have some little angels. And I love them more than anything."
And that's when she looked out of the window, seeing that the rain had stopped, and there was a large, bright, beautiful rainbow in it's place, and two tiny white birds decorated the sky.