Early on, Sam fought the imprint and tried to break free of its chains because he knew, deep down, all he really wanted (more then anything) was Leah. The harder he fought the imprint the more miserable he became because he couldn't find a way out-–that is to say, Sam couldn't find a way out without hurting Emily.
Even though he didn't choose Emily he still loved her more than his own life. He worshiped her and he couldn't bear seeing her tears. He'd rather die than hurt Emily again, so he gave in, stopped fighting the imprint.
Sam knew Leah was strong, would live through their break-up, and being so beautiful, she wouldn't have a problem replacing him. Sure, he didn't want to think of another guy touching his 'Lee-Lee' but she deserved to find another man who would love her in a way he no longer could, so Sam pushed her away.
It was for the best.
What Sam didn't expect: the imprint didn't necessarily apply while he was dreaming. That is to say, the majority of Sam's dreams were about Leah. Some of his dreams were things that never happened, just visions of a future that would never happen. Others were silly memories of things they did together, inside jokes and ridiculous conversations.
But sometimes, sometimes Sam would have dreams about their most intimate moments together.
These dreams–-Sam's favorite dreams (and also his least favorite, depending on how dishonest he was being with himself)–-were also the most vivid and heavenly of all his dreams. The location would vary, sometimes they were in his room, other times in hers, a hotel from time to time, and some times they were even on the beach under a clear night sky clumsily going at each other in a double sleeping bag.
In these dreams he could literally taste her honey-sweet lips as they pressed against his. Felt her shiver as he gently caressed her warm russet skin, tracing her curves with his fingertips. Leah's eyes, dark and doe-like, would shimmer like diamonds, and her cheeks flush with pleasure as their bodies started moving together. Every time he could swear that he'd never been deeper and it would drive him wild.
When they were spent, he would always lay his head on Leah's breast and listen to her hummingbird heartbeat as she ran her fingers through his hair, their bodies still entangled as they drifted off to sleep…
What Sam didn't know: he talked in his sleep, often calling out Leah's name in ecstasy. Another thing Sam didn't know is that he actually was hurting Emily, making her cry every single time he did it. It nearly killed her whenever she heard him murmur "I'll always love you, Lee-Lee."
A/N: This was inspired by Mat Nathanson song called 'Still'. Anyway, the first time I read through the lyrics it made me think of Sam and Leah, made me even feel bad for Sam, which sort of pissed me off because I prefer to hate Sam (and Emily). I've had this bouncing around in my head for a while but I didn't want to write it because I knew it would make me feel bad for Sam AND Emily, and who wants that? In the end, I decided I had to write it, in order to get a better understanding of them so it would be easier to write about them in my long fic (galaxy). Anyway, I hope everyone liked it.
BTW, is this too graphic for the T rating? I honestly don't know. Please let me know.