Top Five Things _________ Will Never Say
By mt1 and illixim
Enjolras:
5. Let's stop this revolution. And go to the beach.
4. Strip, Combeferre!
3. Don't wanna be a lawyer anymore! (wanna be a pirate)
2. Drink some more! All of you!
1. …I love you guys.
Combeferre:
5. Shut up!
4. Enough philosophy. I prefer to kill!
3. Drinking is good for you.
2. …stop coming to me for help! (…I don't want to see that.)
1. I think I'll skip class this week. (illixim: I think he'd die before he skipped class for a week. And I think he did. mt1: *cries*)
Jehan:
5. I'm allergic to flowers. I hate them.
4. I slept with a girl!
3. My poetry sucks. It all sucks. Me-eh.
2. Screw the future.
1. Why, I'd be delighted to advise you, Courfeyrac.
Feuilly:
5. I want my mommy!
4. …you can have Poland.
3. I feel…mellow.
2. I like people. Really.
1. I'm calling in sick today. (illixim: unless he was already dead. Like Combeferre)
Courfeyrac: (mt1: he's a paladin. *sword motion* shwing! Illixim: more like *hip thrust* shwing!)
5: But I am le tired! No dear, I have a headache. Etc.
4. …does this make me look fat?
3. I insist that you call me by my proper title. (illixim: …god damn you.)
2. Let's all go to class! Yay!
1. I'm actually seriously thinking of becoming a lawyer one day.
Bahorel:
5. …I like puppies.
4. Ow…
3. Let's just talk it out, ok? (do we need all this violence? *sobs*)
2. Oh, Jehan, I'd love to hear your poetry.
1. I like to wear a frilly apron while I cook. A-ha!
Bossuet:
5. …I have a name. Really.
4. Joly, seriously…f*ck off.
3. I'm bald, and I'm ok with that!
2. …we don't share –everything-
1. Look at my beautiful hair! Would you like to brush it?
Joly:
5. Sure, I'd love to touch your infected wound.
4. I feel great today! Thanks for asking!
3. …I hate…everything…
2. Bossuet, seriously…f*ck off.
1. I actually want to take care of people's horrible diseases.
Grantaire:
5. I have a home. Really.
4. I am neither drunk nor hung over.
3. I slept with a girl!
2. I really believe in the cause!
1. Seriously, Enjolras…f*ck off.