AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hello! So, if you know me, you know I've written a LONG ASS fic called Silver and Gold and that, in there, I hint at Diana x Riven a little bit.
Well, I tricked myself into lowkey shipping them, so I'm like, say, venting in this little oneshot LMFAO.
Hope you enjoy!
She couldn't quite recall the last time the word lovely came up inside her mind.
No matter how hard she tried, Riven couldn't remember.
It wasn't a surprising fact. At least, not as surprising as the number of times that word reached her brain in the last few days.
Weeks.
Nights.
She had to say it, though. It was a lovely night: the temperature was just right, crickets and owls were cricketing and hooting, not loud enough to be annoying, but sounding like music that floated through the scenery instead, the stars burned bright against the sky's darkness, the full Moon barely managing to steal the spotlight, the fire that had been lit only a few steps away from her warming her up in a pleasant way, illuminating her surroundings, a very faint breeze making the tree branches sway with it, the forest seemingly dancing in the dark night, along with its' wind.
Lovely, because no other word could describe it.
Lovely, but not perfect.
Not perfect, because her friend was quiet.
Quiet. Still. Dead in a way.
Because a part of her had died not too long ago, her former lover doing the deed by confessing to a crime that still haunted her.
Because Diana could somewhat tolerate it if the name of her father's killer was that of a random Solari but to hear it was none other than Leona herself…
...It was unbearable.
Unbearable. Riven could only imagine it; she had gone through a suffering similar to hers once, a long time ago with her Crimson Elite, but she blamed it on a man she had never liked, the Zaunite scientist.
Now, to have to blame such a crime on someone you love…
Unbearable.
And, if she was honest with herself, she had grown very fond of the unquiet Diana.
Because the unquiet Diana would start talking to her at Night.
Would start our little game.
She kept staring at her friend while she polished her blade, until Diana felt her stare and turned to look at her, "What?"
Riven's head lolled to a side, "You're rather quiet tonight." She said, not bothering to hide her concerns.
Diana huffed a laugh, looking away, back to her blade. "Does it bother you?"
Riven relaxed, her blade falling from her lap to the ground as she stretched one of her bent legs, propping herself up onto a sitting position with one hand on the ground, while her other arm laid idly on her knee, "I must admit it does."
Diana raised a brow, but did not look at her once more. "How so? You used to demand my silence before." She smirked, "Is it that maybe you started liking my voice at some point?"
Riven smirked, too, "I don't know if I like your voice that much yet, but I do like our game of questions."
"Oh," Diana let out slowly, smiling up at the sky as she closed her eyes, nodding her head, "Now you like the game."
"I do."
Diana looked at her, that smile still in place. "Which means you want to keep on playing."
"Exactly."
"Very well," Diana breathed out her words, laying her blade on the ground, turning towards Riven, "Let's play, then." She said, before frowning, "I can't remember who's turn to ask is, though."
"I asked the last question." Riven quickly recalled, her eyes never leaving Diana's, "So it's your turn to ask, my turn to answer."
Diana's mouth formed a small Oh, her brows high, "Someone's eager to play." She let out in a teasing tone that had Riven smiling.
"Just get on with it!" She replied, stretching towards the woman, pushing her lightly.
Diana laughed as she sat up again, "Okay! Okay!" She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "Fine. Let me think." She said, holding Riven's unwavering stare while she tried to come up with an interesting question because she might have stopped playing but it didn't mean she didn't care for the Noxian's answers.
She tried remembering things the warrior had done or said that ended up bouncing around her skull for a while and she realized she had a few questions she could ask.
She could ask about her blade and its' runic power, how it was, how it had seeped into her, how she manipulated it, how the broadsword became whole when she used her full power.
She could ask about the Demacian Light Mage, for Riven seemed to know who the girl was.
She could ask about the fury that had taken over her during that last battle.
Her smirk slowly got erased from her face, eye contact broken, as she realized she could ask why she reacted the way she did when Leona confessed being the killer behind Marcus' murder.
And then a frown posed itself over her pretty features when she recalled something she had said just before that battle even took place.
Helping you is all that matters, now.
"Before Leona and her soldiers found us, you said you didn't care about getting Irelia's redemption anymore and that you'd take me to the Lunari, no matter the cost." She said, looking at Riven once more, ignoring how the girl's smile was gone, too, a neutral expression over her face. "You basically terminated the deal that had brought us together in the first place. Why did you do it?" She closed her eyes as she shook her head, rethinking her question, "What made you change your mind like that?"
And just like that, it was Riven's turn to frown.
The girl sat up straight, her legs crossed underneath her, her forearms resting on her thighs and her eyes glued to the ground as she thought how to answer. It wasn't that she didn't want to answer, it was just that she didn't know how, where to begin.
But she had to start somewhere.
"I never know what's going on inside my head."
It caught Diana's attention immediately.
Riven raised her head, looking up at the sky as she spoke. "When we met I was too busy fighting my own demons to even care about you, let alone your needs." She huffed a laugh, her head coming down as she did so, "I still fight them but, having had the chance to know you, now I care, so they can't get to me that easily: I'm usually too busy with you to even notice whatever's always going on inside my head."
She sighed, moving her head around so as to crack her neck a bit, releasing the tension contained there. "When I discovered who you were, I realized you were my ticket into Ionia." She looked into those piercing silver eyes, unblinkingly watching her, "Truth be told, I wanted to use you to get there and see Irelia again." Her gaze became unfocused, "I haven't seen her since…"
She trailed off.
Her mind wandered.
Diana immediately moved towards her, her arm resting atop the woman's shoulders and pulling her closer, as if giving her a portion of her strength.
Riven shook her head and snapped out of it.
"I wanted to see her," She went back to the topic, "I wanted to see her for some odd reason that, up to this day, I still do not know." her pupils found Diana's, the Noxian being a bit taken aback at the sudden proximity, "I don't want her redemption. I never did." She raised a brow, "Well, I don't know if I do. I don't know what I want, I—" She shook her head again, groaning at herself. "As you can see, I'm a mess!" She exclaimed, laughing at herself. "I'm a mess," She repeated, calming down. "And I do not know a thing about anything."
Her gaze relaxed, moving away from Diana's and landing on the fire, her head resting on the woman's shoulder. "I don't know what I want, let alone what I need." Riven confessed, "I thought I wanted to see Irelia but, the more I think about it, the more I can see I don't know what I want with her. I think it's just some sort of twisted desire my broken mind came up with: to see the one who was supposed to kill me and let her do whatever she pleases with me, but if I think about it with a cold head, I can tell there's no real motive for me to go looking for her." She looked at Diana with a sad smile on her lips. "I think about it and I see I need nothing from her, want nothing with her. I thought I had to see Irelia, but I realize I don't. I thought I wanted to see Irelia, but I realize I don't." She narrowed her eyes, "Does that answer it?"
Diana frowned. "I guess. What about your redemption, though?"
Riven sighed. "She'd never grant it to me." Then she thought about it for a minute, "And, if I'm honest, I don't really believe I need it: sure, I killed her men, but I was merely fighting for my side. I mean, she killed my men too and I've never seen her asking for my forgiveness. The Zaunite Unit was a foul move, sure, but it wasn't of my doing. I didn't even know about it until it exploded and almost took me with it."
She shrugged as she let out a sigh. "We were both fighting for our nations, we were both doing what we had to. Neither wanted to play dirty and neither did, but a third party decided to do so. I need no redemption because I played…" She looked for a word, before settling on "Fair."
Diana's head lolled to a side, "You did try to sneak into the city, though."
"And I failed." Riven reminded her. "All is fair in love and war."
"Going by that, there was never a foul move to being with."
Riven smirked, nodding her head. "Now you get it, Captain Diana."
Diana barked a laugh at that, "Please, I would be the Commander, not the Captain."
Riven chuckled, "You're right."
"Well, your turn, now." Diana said, letting go of the topic, not without taking mental note of how easily Riven could talk about the war, in comparison to the beginning of their journey together. "Ask away."
Riven didn't allow herself to think as she let it out, staring into Diana's very soul as she said, "Do you still love Leona?"
The question caught her off guard, a thing that Riven noticed by how the arm around her shoulders suddenly flexed with Diana's flinching, the hand that laid on her gripping her tight. "What?"
Riven remained silent for a second before repeating herself, "Do you still love Leona?"
It was Diana's turn to be quiet and think, lost in her thoughts as she stared at the fire.
Did she?
"Leona and I…" She didn't even know where to start. "What we share goes beyond love and human feelings." She tried to reason, "We're tied together with the same string, our destinies, our Goddesses—"
"Forget about your bloody Gods for a minute and listen to what I'm asking you."
Riven's hand had found Diana's face and turned it towards her, making her see her, the subtle urgency to her tone making her listen, her eyes quickly scanning the other woman's face as it had levitated closer, the woman having, apparently, scooted even nearer.
She couldn't be more than an inch away.
Red eyes remained on silver ones, "Do you love her or not?" She asked, a plea of sorts that searched for an answer hidden in that red sea of her irises.
Diana didn't know where to look, what to do, let alone say.
She felt lost.
Lost and, whether she'd admit it or not, afraid.
Afraid, because she didn't know why, of all things Riven could have asked her, she had to choose that one.
"I don't know." She finally settled for saying.
But Riven wouldn't have it, "That's bullshit and you know it."
Diana narrowed her eyes at the accusation. "Yes, it's as much bullshit as your answer for my question was."
Moves and countermoves.
Riven's intense gaze eased into a relaxed stare for a second, knowing she had been caught, "Well, in my defense, you asked the wrong question." She confirmed with a smirk on her face.
"Wrong question?" Diana wondered out loud, noticing how Riven failed to meet her stare, her eyes busy somewhere else as she hummed a positive response. "What should have I asked, then?"
"You see, you asked me what made me change my mind," She said very gently, her voice barely there as it cracked with the lack of power, her eyes lower on Diana's face than the Lunari's on hers, "When you should have asked who." She exhaled the last word, her hot breath washing over Diana's skin at that.
It made the Lunari shudder.
"Ask again." Riven conceded.
Diana noticed the Noxian's eyes were on her lips.
"Who made you change your mind, Riven?"
"You." The white haired woman answered, the word coming out like a whisper as she laid her forehead on the Targonian's.
The gesture made her close her eyes. It still felt strange —in a good way, —whenever her friend would touch her scar so gently.
Friend?
Are we really sure about that?
"Now, I gave you my honest answer," Riven quietly murmured, "It's only fair you give me yours."
Diana huffed a laugh, "All is fair in love and war."
With her eyes closed, she couldn't see Riven's smirk, "We're not fighting a war, you and I."
"But you're asking me about my love."
"Diana."
She had never heard her use that tone before. Urgent, yet playful, as if she wanted an answer and she wanted it right away, but she enjoyed the banter.
"Why do you want to know?"
She felt Riven shifting millimetrically at that. "That's a question you may ask once you answer mine."
The countermove to her move.
She had to answer if she wanted to keep asking.
She had gambled with the Devil and found the Devil being a better gambler.
Fuck.
She reached deep inside her heart.
"A few nights ago I would have hated to admit it and I would have tried to fight it, keep it in, but the answer would have been yes, regardless of how hard I tried to believe otherwise."
Riven remained quiet, listening carefully to Diana's words, her soothing voice.
It wasn't the answer to her question and they both knew it.
The Noxian waited for the actual response to her inquiry.
"But now I search inside my heart and it's all so dark that I can't see." Diana continued, pain in her voice at her own words. "I try to look for her in it and I can't find her." She opened her eyes, sadness in her expression, "I realize she isn't there." She saw Riven open her eyes, too, so she locked her gaze on hers, "She's not there."
Diana gulped, swallowing her courage, letting the words out. "I conjure up the thought of Leona and I'm only certain of a few things: the fury that blinds me, for all the crimes she's committed and confessed to. The sadness that drowns me, for the fact that she's done all of those things and I have such knowledge. Lastly, the sorrow, the pity that strangles my heart, because her soul is lost in a labyrinth and I don't think she can see the way out of it. I don't know if she wants to find the way out of it. I'm uncertain whether she knows where she's in or not."
The sad look on her face turned into a frown as her eyes scanned Riven's calm expression. "With all these things she's done, I don't know if I love her, but I do know I don't believe in her anymore: she managed to kill that hope last time we crossed paths." A sigh escaped her lips, "I wasn't lying when I told her there was nothing left in me for her, for she had taken it all, already. That string that would connect us, lead us to one another, bind us together, has been cut loose by her sword."
Her eyes connected to red ones once more, her eyelids heavier than usual as she stopped frowning. "I don't know how I feel about her anymore, except for those three things. I know I feel anger, I know I feel sadness, I know I feel pity. I don't know about love. That's the most honest answer I can give you, Riven; I don't know with certainty."
Still, Riven didn't let her finish like that. "But if you had to be true with yourself..."
She couldn't. "Riven—"
"If you're ever going to say it out loud, the time is now, Diana." Riven told her, "For not even your Goddess is out to hear your confessions." She smiled, her silent nature painting her expression as one of sadness, "It's just you and me."
Diana looked up at the sky and found Riven's words to be true; as if following Riven's command, the Moon had vanished from the skies, hiding its' light from them, making the silver haired woman wonder whether her Goddess was actually helping Riven's case out or not.
"I will ask you once again. If you had to be true with yourself…" Riven repeated once more.
This time she obliged.
"...if I had to be true to myself, I'd have to say I think I don't love her anymore."
It was a very long shot, but it was the truth.
They both knew it.
"Now, my turn to ask," Diana murmured, not wasting time.
Riven was smiling at her. "Ask me."
"Why did you want to know?"
The Noxian pressed her lips against Diana's, her eyes closing as she did so.
She pulled away only a hair's breadth, "Does it answer your question?" She asked her, looking at the Lunari through hooded eyes.
Words escaped her.
She knew. She had known for a while about Riven's preferences, her attraction towards her.
At the same time, she had never actually expected her to carry through with it.
She had never expected herself to wonder why those lips were suddenly apart from hers.
Riven noticed Diana's eyes weren't on her own, but on her mouth instead.
She happily obliged.
She kissed her again, a sigh escaping through her nose as she felt Diana kissing her back amidst her confusion.
"Riven," Diana pulled away long enough to let out her name, a halfhearted warning against what she was doing.
Riven paid no attention and kissed her again, one of her hands snaking around her waist.
"Riven," Came the second warning.
She, once more, ignored her, kissing her harder, her other hand coming up to her face, holding her cheek with a lover's gentleness.
No third warning came.
The Noxian almost came undone when she felt the Lunari's hands on her hair, her nails scratching her scalp gently, her fingers gripping it and bringing her close.
She moved towards the silver haired woman, quickly swinging one of her legs over Diana's, straddling her as she continued kissing her, her hands gently moving around, the one on her waist going up her back, the one on her cheek cradling her head, holding her by the back of her neck.
Diana's hands were like hot coal and freezing ice on her skin as they moved and roamed freely, touching her neck, her arms, her back, her waist, her everything, the Lunari bringing her legs closer, her thighs pushing Riven even closer to her as she bent her legs, her feet planted on the ground.
She had to contain the groan that tried to escape her lips when she felt Riven's body sway in tune with hers, her back arched as her chest came into contact with her own, the Noxian's hands greedily keeping her in place, the possessive touch contrasting harshly with the gentleness of her lips, her tongue.
So long, it had been so long since either of them had touched someone like that, had been touched like that by someone.
It made it easy to lose control, to damn discipline, to erase the lines that were already blurry between them.
So Diana kept kissing her, just like Riven did, their hands grasping the other's body like it was their last thread of sanity, the urgency behind their actions searching for the other's warmth like a lifeline.
Riven pulled away only to plant a trail of kisses leading away from it, to the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her neck, the Noxian's smile a wild thing when she heard Diana let out a shaky breath, her whole body shuddering at the contact.
She couldn't help the grin that stuck to her face as she licked her way up on her neck, Diana letting out a sinful moan.
"I could hear you sound like that for eternity," Riven confessed against her lips in a husky voice, hungrily kissing her once more, grabbing her and squeezing her needily, not going beyond the boundaries she had quietly set for herself, moving further only if Diana did so with her first.
But Diana did not move past those limits.
"Stop," She commanded as Riven's lips moved towards her own once more, about to kiss her again.
The Noxian froze in place, staring at Diana's face, for her eyes were closed.
"I can't do this."
The statement had been swift, like an arrow to her heart.
Diana opened her eyes, pain evident in silver irises as Riven looked into them. "I'm sorry, Riven, but I can't do this." The Lunari said, instantly regretting it upon seeing the devastation that hid behind the red sea of her stare, wishing to bite her own tongue off for having hurt the one that wasn't quite her lover, but wasn't quite her friend.
"Listen," She said, her hands finding both of Riven's cheeks, "I can't do this because I'm not sure of what I feel." She shut her eyes close, "It's not even about you, because I know how I feel about you, it's just that I don't know how I feel about her." She gulped before opening her eyes, hoping Riven would understand, "I told you I don't think I love her, which doesn't mean I know it for certain. I don't want to ignore it and go on with this, only to maybe back out of it later." She shook her head, "I can't lead you on like that. It would be lying and I don't want to lie to you. I can't do that."
Riven frowned at her, analyzing her every word.
Diana stared, scanning her face, looking for her reaction.
She hadn't expected Riven to chuckle, "I wouldn't mind you leading me on."
"If all goes wrong, this would mean setting you up for pain, my sweet."
"And what if all goes well?" Riven questioned, not backing off, holding her ground and staying so intimately close they both shared their breaths. "It would mean avoiding useless abstinence from something we both want."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"All is fair in love and war."
"Not this. This isn't."
"If I recall correctly, we agreed that I do not need your protection." She laid her forehead against Diana's once more. "I'm a big girl, Diana."
Gods, that I'm sure of.
Riven chuckled.
"I said it out loud, didn't I."
It hadn't been a question.
She felt Riven's lips brush against her own, "You did."
"I don't want to offer you an empty promise, Riven. It's simply unfair with you."
She felt, rather than heard, Riven sigh.
The Noxian pulled away, looking at Diana with a disappointed look in her eyes, one of her hands finding Diana's cheek, "The first time I want you to hurt me, the first time I pretty much ask for it and you refuse."
Diana placed her own hand on top of Riven's, carefully loosening up the bandages before turning her face towards it, planting a kiss on her scarred palm, smirking against the burnt skin at the sight of Riven's expression, the shudder that shook her very spine, "Sorry."
"Do that again and I will have to take all of the things you just said to me and ignore them."
Diana laughed, "Okay, okay, I'll behave."
Riven smiled, "Good." She said, before moving towards her, Diana's eyes closing on their own accord, expecting a kiss on her lips, only to get one on her forehead instead.
It was her turn to shudder at the touch.
She grabbed Riven by the neck and quickly brought her to her mouth, crashing her lips against her own in a quick kiss, "You can't expect me to stay calm if you have those gestures with me that know mean so much more to me than to anybody else."
The amusement in Riven's eyes was hard to miss, "You say that as if expecting it to deter my attempts at luring you in."
Diana narrowed her eyes, "Maybe I don't really want to deter your attempts."
Riven smirked, "But you don't want to reciprocate them either, because you don't want to deal with the guilt of maybe chickening out of it later."
Diana's smirk mirrored hers, "Exactly, but I must admit I'm selfish." Her hand snaked its' way to Riven's hair, scratching it generously, the Lunari watching as the Noxian sighed, her eyes fluttering closed, "I'm selfish because I actually enjoy your attention so much that I crave it."
"Then I guess I will have to continue trying my best, see if one day you let me make you mine."
Diana's head lolled to a side, "Keep on participating, Riven."
"On that note…" Riven stood up, her sword forgotten on the ground as she slowly unstrapped the few plates of armor she had covering her body.
Diana knew she was blushing. "What are you doing?"
"I can't remember the last time I had a bath," Riven commented nonchalantly, "And I know there's a little lake nearby, so I might as well use it to wash myself." She smirked at Diana, "I can't seduce you being as smelly as I probably am."
"Oh," Diana laughed, "That much is true." She shook her head, "For a moment, I thought you were trying to seduce me by getting naked in front of me or something silly like that."
Riven froze for a second.
It made Diana flinch, realizing she shouldn't have said that.
She felt her face growing hotter as the clothing that Riven wore underneath her little pieces of armor suddenly hit her face.
Diana peeked from behind the fabric.
She gulped at the sight of her body, barely covered with her undergarments, honed with years of battle and decorated with thousands of scars all over it.
Much like Leona's, but so different in so many ways, too.
Fuck.
"If you think that's going to have any kind of effect on me, you're dead wrong."
Riven huffed a laugh, putting her hands on her hips, "Last time I checked, your ex-girlfriend was a Ra-Horak." She moved closer to Diana and actually crouched, coming face to face with her, "You saying you care little about the physical aspects of attraction is a fat lie and you know it."
Diana tried to come up with a good answer, but her eyes swayed downwards, her blush deepening, her comeback being destroyed by Riven's knowing look as the Lunari looked away, "Whatever." She said, "You feel the same way."
"Yes, I do," Riven said, before standing tall once more, moving away from her, "But the difference lays in how I don't try to hide it."
Diana smirked, "Sure, like the one time I asked you about what you had dreamt the night before and you said you couldn't remember, right?" She said, looking at her over her shoulder, her smirk turning into a full blown grin at the sight of Riven's blush, "Truth is, I knew exactly what you had dreamt about. I just wanted you to confirm it."
Riven crossed her arms in front of her. "A woman is allowed to have fun dreams."
"Specially if they involve the woman she's sleeping with."
Riven's face couldn't be redder. "Diana—"
"And specially when the dreamer wakes up in the middle of the Night, makes sure her friend is asleep, moves a few feet away in search for an apparent privacy and then proceeds to mastur—"
"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there." Riven said, "You were asleep, you can't know that."
Diana's smile was wild, "Then how is it that I know about it?"
Riven's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again and finally closed once more. "You know what? I'm going to take that bath now and let some steam out, if you know what I mean, since apparently pleasing oneself is a crime, now."
Diana laughed, "I never said it was a crime—"
"I can feel the accusation behind your words." She bowed dramatically, "And with that, I'm gone, my Goddess. Let me know if you need anything from me…"
Diana bit her lip. Gods, if she keeps calling me that I will have to do something about it.
"...unless you want to join me in my bath, a concept I wouldn't mind at all."
Her brain froze at the invitation. "What."
Riven chuckled. "You heard me." She simply stated. "And if you really did spy me while I was doing my stuff without even attempting to stop me—"
"I will not deny I'm curious." Diana confessed, glaring at her, despite the smirk on her face. "That doesn't mean I'm willing to investigate."
Riven chuckled, "No, but it means you want to." Then, a thought hit her, "Since it's my turn to ask, what did you mean by if all goes wrong, when you said it? Judging by the wording, you don't want to reconcile with Leona."
"I said it in the heat of the moment. I don't know what I want."
"The words we say in the heat of the moment are the ones most loyal to our hearts—"
"Just go, you stinky Noxian!" Diana yelled at her, throwing her the rags the Exile wore as clothing.
"Okay! Okay!" Riven said, catching the robes and throwing them right back at her. "Offer still stands, though."
"Go!"
"Going!"
And Diana stared after her as she disappeared into the woods, before laying down on the ground, her eyes landing on the moonless sky, a sigh escaping her lips before a chuckle did the same upon remembering the one phrase that joined both Riven and her under the same banner.
All is fair in love and war.