TITLE: Who Are These Kids, and Why Are They Calling Me Mom?
AUTHOR: Brenda Shaffer-Shiring
SERIES: Wizards of Waverly Place
RATING: K
GENRE: Family
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Thanks to James Doyle for the story challenge that prompted this fic. Thanks, as always, to the World's Best Beta™, DianeB.
SUMMARY: Theresa Larkin-Russo ponders the ups and downs of being mom to three teenage wizards.

There are lots of times I ask myself, "So how did little Theresa Larkin end up being the mother of three teenage wizards?"

I mean, I don't exactly have a normal life here. My life is so far from normal that even when I talk to the mothers of other teenage kids I find myself thinking, "Oh yeah, you got it rough! When was the last time your kid turned you into a guinea pig?" But of course, if I ever actually said that, two things would happen. One is, my husband Jerry would be very upset. Wizard families aren't supposed to talk about this kind of stuff to outsiders, you know. And the other thing is, they'd look at me like I was nuts!

Well, I guess I can't complain too much about that. About how they'd look at me like I was nuts, I mean. Because until it happened to me, I would have thought this whole magic thing was pretty nuts myself. I'm not the magic one in the family, after all. No, wait, that isn't exactly right. What I should say is, I'm the only one in the family who isn't magic.

My husband Jerry, he's the one who brought the magic into the picture. He comes from this long line of wizards, you see. He doesn't have his magic now – he had to give it up when he married this little mortal chica. You know, me? I can't even believe how unfair that was, but Jerry said he didn't care, because being with me was enough magic for him. He's a really sweet guy, even if he doesn't look like anybody's idea of a Romeo these days. Not that I'm complaining. I'm sure not any Juliet.

But anyway, our kids all inherited his magic. So when they got old enough, he started teaching them how to use it. He might not be a wizard himself, but of course he still knows all the rules and all the history. So they go to regular school like their friends, but when they come home, they go to Wizard School with their dad. And they need to learn everything they can, because when they get older, they have to duel each other to see who gets to keep the magic. Which is a stupid system, if you ask me, because that's not exactly the sort of thing that breeds a lot of familial love, don't you think? I don't really understand why only one person in a family can stay a wizard anyway.

But who cares what the mortal chica thinks? It's sure not anybody in Wizard Government, I can tell you that.

Not that those guys seem to mind taking ideas from mortals. I mean, the Worldwide WizWeb? WizFace? "No Wizard Left Behind"? Come on! Does anybody really think we're talking coincidence here?

Of course, magic does change things, copycat ideas or no. If my son Justin was meeting girls on MySpace or Facebook, I might have to worry about whether they were being honest about their ages, or their educations, or maybe even their legal backgrounds, if you know what I mean. But no – he goes to WizFace, and Jerry and I have to warn him that the girls might not even be the same species as him. He met a centaur one time, and a werewolf another, and I don't think I want to know what's next. Honestly, if he didn't need the WizWeb for his schoolwork, I think what's next might be that we take him off-line. Or as they probably say, "off-Wizline."

The thing about Justin is, he's so smart when it comes to anything he can study. Top of his class in everything. He even has pretty strong magic, so Jerry tells me. So between that and his brains, he's a darned good wizard student, too. But does he have any brains when it comes to people? Well no, not really. He makes a good impression on his teachers, yes, and I'm not saying that's not important. But he's so naïve about girls – he's lucky he's so handsome or he could forget about getting a date. And whoever heard of a boy repeating his first kiss more than a dozen times before he got it right? (Not that too many boys would get the chance!)

Alex is the people-smart one. She's pretty and she's funny and she always seems to have a group of people hanging around her, some of them what I guess are pretty cool kids. (Okay, so I can't explain why she spends so much time with Harper. But there's a lot of things about Harper that are pretty hard to explain.) Alex reminds me a lot of me when I was a teenager and worried all the time about clothes and boys. Now if she just wasn't so crazy about my best cashmere sweater….But the thing about her is, sometimes I think she thinks she's too cool for school – regular school or Wizard School, or both. So she tries to cheat, just a little. Maybe she uses a spell she's not really sure how to do, or or she uses some magical artifact to do better in her schoolwork. She's basically pretty smart, and Jerry says she's got good magic, too. But I wish she'd stop coasting.

Max, my baby – well, I guess I can't say that any more; Max thought it was pretty embarrassing the last time. What can I say? He's still very much a kid, with lots of energy and that gung-ho willingness to try anything. Thank goodness his control has gotten a little better, though. I don't think I'm ever going to forget the time his magic got away from him and our house ended up being teleported all over the world! And right when we were trying to have that big dinner to impress Justin's teacher, too.

Yep, nothing like magic to keep your life interesting. And I haven't even mentioned Justin's animated zit, or Alex and the mind-control kugel, or the time Max adopted a dragon. The stories I could tell! You probably wouldn't believe most of them if they were on a kids' TV series!

Of course, I talk like having wizards around the house is always a bad thing. And I guess that's not true. Not all the time. I have to admit, it was kind of funny when Alex and Justin both tried to use their powers to help them in the same baseball game. And I liked having my own chance to be a little bit magic when Max cast a spell to let his ball pass through solid objects, and the spell ended up affecting me so I could do it too. (Long story; some other time.) And yeah, I didn't like it so much when the spell wore off and I walked into the door, but hey, people walk into doors all the time, spell or no spell, and at least it was fun while it lasted!

And then there are the times when Alex has used her magic to actually help her brother, or Justin has used his to help her. Or when Max has tried to help out either of them.

But the absolute best thing about having wizard teenagers was when Alex decided she didn't want a quinceanera, so she gave hers to me. I mean, she switched bodies with me so I could be her. At her quinceanera. And oh – well, it sounds like a cliché or a bad joke to say this, but it was magic. I was in my high heels and that full-skirted gown, and every eye in the room was on me, and I danced like it was never going to end. I never expected to have a quinceanera, not after my parents couldn't afford one, and I sure didn't think it would happen when I was past – well, past thirty, let's just say. But Alex's quinceanera was my quinceanera, and I felt just like the princess I'd always wanted to be. And it never would have happened if I didn't have magical children.

So it's true that sometimes I wonder how little Theresa Larkin ended up being the mother of three teenage wizards.

But sometimes I think it's because little Theresa Larkin is just lucky.

You have to believe we are magic
Nothing can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
If all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
And bring all your dreams alive
For you

"Magic," as sung by Olivia Newton-John