It hadn't even been a week since I last saw him.
And if I'd had my way, I wouldn't have. However, I was attending the ball out of obligation. My father had accepted the invitation on my behalf, and I didn't want to cause any problems with the Caelum family's public image, so I quietly agreed and went. Of course, the pep talk my friends gave me helped ease my nerves as well.
"Ah, looks like the princess finally gets to do proper princess stuff!" said Prompto "So, when are we shopping for dresses?"
"They're...er...not my thing." I replied.
"Yeah, you always were the androgynous type, right? Got to dress like a man to make it in a man's world." she added, sarcastically.
"I think you're taking it a little too far, there." I said, smiling.
Prompto did have a point, though. Unlike Ignis, Gladia and her, I rarely if ever dressed up in any getup that didn't include full-length pants. I also didn't let my hair drop too far below shoulder-length, and though I indulged in make-up as much as the next girl, I never wore any accessories other than my watch.
I'd been told repeatedly how easily I blended in with my own advisers because we all wore similar business suits most of the time. And even outside of work, I usually didn't dress in anything other than jeans and a t-shirt.
Not that people didn't notice who I really was if they paid enough attention. I had a fairly...feminine figure despite my dressing sense, and I'd been complimented on my looks often enough that I knew it wasn't always just people trying to suck up to royalty.
Of course, since I always preferred to stay out of the limelight and wasn't looking to start dating again, my friends-Prompto, in particular-wouldn't let me hear the end of it.
"So I guess the princess has yet to truly discover herself." she said, on the day of the ball. "I suppose Prince Stella will still have to do."
"Cut it out, Prompto." Ignis said, though she couldn't stop herself from smiling, "You're just perpetuating outdated gender stereotypes."
"Hey, at least I'm honest about it." she replied.
"True, true." Gladia chimed in. "We all claim to be models of an egalitarian society, but as a species we have a long way to go."
"We could start by getting rid of this lineage crap and install a democracy." I said, suddenly. It was a bitter sentiment I usually tried to suppress, but Gladia's joke had pushed it to the surface.
"Hey, Stella." Ignis said. "You alright?"
It took me a few seconds to smile again. "Yeah."
"Hey, having that mark must suck." Prompto chimed in. "But we're here for you, okay?"
She put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't resist.
"Thank you." I said. "I know...I know that this is the way it has to be, but..."
"We know it isn't easy for you." Ignis said. "But we all believe in you, Stella. We know you'll make a fine queen and protector of this kingdom."
"Yeah. I know." I said as we reached our ride.
The drive started out as a somber affair, although Prompto was able to successfully lighten the mood with her atrocious karaoke rendition of "Stand by Me" as it started playing on the music player. Gladia joined in seconds later, and, well, let's just say I caved into the peer pressure too.
Though I consider myself a singer of fairly decent caliber, my delicate vocals were easily drowned out by Prompto and Gladia's tone-deaf bellowing. It's a shame Ignis never bothered to join in, claiming she was busy focusing on the road. I knew that with her help, I could have shut up Prompto and Gladia well and good. Not only was Ignis a good enough singer to have actually released some records under a pseudonym, her commanding voice and presence would have dwarfed the other two in seconds.
And going by that weaselly smile she wore, she knew this all too well.
But I was glad that I was being subjected to these abominable vocals. I knew that they were doing this because despite the reality of our situation, they wanted to enjoy the moment. And they wanted me to enjoy the moment.
As long as Prompto, Gladia and Ignis were by my side, I knew that I could survive anything life threw at me. Not that I'd ever tell them as much out loud, that'd just be way too corny.
We arrived at the palace where the ball was being hosted. It was a palace in Tenebrae, a principality that had been dealing with hostilities from the neighboring Niflheim garrison for some time. As a result, Lucis and Tenebrae had entered a period of protracted negotiations that had left my father even more exhausted than usual.
I entered the palace, and was promptly recognized by the people at the reception. They shook hands, complimented me, and went about their business. I could also see more than a few men eyeing Prompto, who'd worn a somewhat revealing dress today.
Unsurprisingly, Prompto promptly went over to a group of admiring guys moments later, while Gladia began her party ritual of getting hammered at the bar. I and Ignis-who never leaves my side unless I tell her to-decided to check things out on the upper floor.
However, when I saw who was standing there, leaning against the balcony, I turned around and asked Ignis to take her leave.
"Alright." she replied with a smile, and went back downstairs towards Gladia.
She must have seen him too. The man who was looking at the mural hanging from the ceiling. He was a man I didn't think I would ever see again. Not after how things had ended between us. Yet here he was.
As I climbed up the stairs, he looked over his shoulder, noticed me, and smiled.
"Hello, Stella." he said, approaching me.
"Hi, Noctis." I replied.
"I was wondering if you'd show up." he said. "All things considered, it was a very brave thing for you to do."
"I'm flattered." I replied. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, given how my ex happened to be a high-ranking minister at Tenebrae. In fact, I wasn't even sure if his polite demeanor and compliments were sincere.
"So, how's your life been all these months? Do you still see the lights?"
"Yeah." I reply. So he's decided to continue talking about personal matters.
"The souls of the dead, as they depart from this world. It's one heavy burden to bear."
"You shoulder it too, Noctis." I said.
He chuckled, "Yeah, I do. But I wouldn't want to bore you with a conversation that's all about me. You're the one who's the guest of honor here! And besides, you have another burden. One that nobody else in the room will ever bear."
"Noctis, I..." I began, not wanting to talk to him about it.
"You didn't actually expect me to forget, did you? How the crystal has pretty much sealed your destiny? How you're the only one who can be the protector of Lucis?"
"Please." I said. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?" he said. "Didn't you confide in me because you trusted me with the truth? Stella, you're still the woman I love. I'll always be here for you."
"What are you playing at? Are you trying to get me back? Or are you trying to manipulate me for more concessions for Tenebrae?" I said. My voice was calm and composed, but I was fully aware of the vitriol in my words.
"I see." Noctis said, looking resigned. "So this is what I've become to you. A sad mistake. A man of no consequence."
"Noctis..."
"It's alright. I understand, Stella." he said. "I have no business prying into your life. But I just want to help you."
"Is that it, Noctis? Is that the only reason you've been asking me these questions?" I said, finding a bench and sitting down.
"That's a rhetorical question, isn't it?" he said, with a chuckle.
"We ended things for a reason, Noctis."
"I know." he said. "But I can't leave you alone any longer, Stella."
"What do you mean?"
"Your kingdom is in danger. The Empire of Niflheim will stop at nothing to seize the crystal of Lucis. And if they succeed, everyone you care about will fall to the despair they'll bring."
"Niflheim are a known quantity. My father is already dealing with them."
"And I'm telling you that won't be enough. All King Regis can do is prolong the inevitable. You may have to serve your duty as Queen sooner than you think."
"Noctis...is there something I should know?" I say, getting up.
"I'm afraid I can't tell you much more than this. But remember Stella, I still love you, and I'll always love you no matter what happens. I'll make sure you're ready. I'll make sure your hope is strong enough to take down Niflheim."
"Noctis?" I said, concerned. "What are you saying?"
"I'll do whatever it takes." he said, with a smile that was breaking my heart, as if it was the last time I'd ever see him look at me this way. I know, somewhere, deep down, I just knew that this would be the last time he'd ever smile at me. "You have my word, Stella. You will be strong enough. I'll make sure you're strong enough."
He then turned around and walked away.
"Noctis. Noctis!" I said, trying to call him back. But he kept walking. And I couldn't follow him. I couldn't move an inch.
Why? Why was I letting him get away? Was it because I was scared? Was it because I didn't care about him anymore?
No. No, if I had the slightest hope, if I believed for even a second that I could save him, I would have. I would have thrown myself at him, made sure that he never left without me. I would have done everything I could to ensure we would still be together, that we wouldn't lose each other.
But I knew then that I had lost that faith. I knew that I couldn't save him. I knew that I couldn't keep Noctis with me, no matter how badly I wanted to.
So I pushed him away, within a dark corner of my heart. One day, he'd return. And I would suffer, and scream and cry over the injustice of it all. But for now, I'd lock away the pain. For now, I wouldn't suffer.
It seemed to easy then. To lock away the pain, to keep hoping that the inevitable tragedy of the future would never come to pass.
But it only took a week.
A week for my father to be killed. For Nifelheim to systematically begin eradicating everything I held dear. My friends became my lifeline. Without Ignis, Gladia and Prompto I would have lost this battle as soon as it began.
But they saved me. And now they're all I have left.
And yet, I just had to be separated from them for one moment. I just had to be alone for one moment.
To see him again.
Noctis faces me, his gaze cold as ice. Within seconds he summons a rapier and points it at me.
I knew. I knew it would come to this. I knew that I'd have to defeat him. That's how I'd become strong enough. That's how my hope would shine bright enough to obliterate Niflheim's despair.
I summon my own blades and launch them. He parries my attacks with ease.
I will never forget you.
He rushes towards me, and I dodge sideways.
I'll cry. Over and over and over again. Whenever I feel the pain, I will cry for you.
I try to stab him in the back once I see an opening, but he swiftly turns around and we end up crossing swords.
This isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair!
He quickly jumps backwards. He seems to be readying a spell.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I ready my barrier, and his blast of icy wind rushes past me. I don't feel a thing.
Noctis! Noctis! Why? WHY?!
He seems to be losing his patience. He promptly charges at me, his sword at the ready.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I quickly parry his attack. His lower body's been left exposed. Wriggling free, I summon and throw a dagger.
Noctis...Noctis...I'm sorry...
He screams in pain. I don't waste another second. Summoning my broadsword, I rush over and stab him through the heart.
He stiffens up. His expression is one of shock. He then falls to the floor.
I rush over to him. He's bleeding. I can see his light. It's flickering. It will go out soon.
He looks at me. There's nothing on his face other than a smile. A congratulatory, loving smile.
"Congratulations, Stella." Those are his last words to me.
"I will never forget you." I say, cradling his face.
"I'll cry." I continue, desperate to say as much as I can to him while his light is still there. "Over and over and over again. Whenever I feel the pain, I will cry for you."
And then his light goes out. He's gone. And I can feel the pain. I can feel the tears welling up.
"This isn't fair, this isn't fair, this isn't fair!"