Note: The names are changed in this story. If you read the first Garrett is Paul Revere Incarnate, all the characters are the same, just with different names. The new names are as follows:
My Precious' Hot Sauce-Frank
YUP!- Bertram
Ketchup-Roger
Quesadilla-William
Garrett is Paul Revere Incarnate 2
Chapter One
Frank and Bertram had the biggest house in town. Rumor has it that the whole house was filled with silver. William and Roger were very curious. They wanted to see the house for themselves, since they'd never been inside a rich pimp's house before. Because that's what Frank and Bertram were: rich pimps.
That's why William and Roger were overjoyed when their best friend, Paul Revere, told them to go into Frank and Bertram's house. Paul Revere was a silversmith. He wanted more silver to make the biggest teapot in the whole wide world so he could celebrate the Boston Tea Party.
William and Roger snuck down the street. They were being very stealthy. They were even wearing ninja suits. They looked pretty spiffin'. Roger wanted to kick down the door. William stopped him. So they went in the window.
The silver was shiny. William picked up a lamp and wondered if it would work or not. Roger filled up his sack and ran out. "Let's go!" William followed him, still carrying the lamp.
Meanwhile, Paul Revere was sitting in a purple armchair drinking coffee. William and Roger walked in and dumped the silver on the ground. "Hey Paul Revere, do you have a hunting rifle?"
"Yeah, I have a hunting rifle!"
"Okay!" They grabbed it. "We want an adrenaline rush! We're gonna go shoot some deer! At night!" They ran out. Paul Revere watched them leave. Then he picked up the silver lamp. He wondered if it would work. So he tried to light it. And failed. So he continued drinking his coffee.
Roger and William were running through the forest. Roger had the hunting rifle. Underneath a tree, they saw Frank and Bertram's seven year old siblings. They were making out. "Get a room!" William yelled. Then he and Roger ran away, giggling like idiots.
"I have a hunting rifle, do you have a hunting rifle? 'Cause I have a hunting rifle, and it can shoot deer!" Roger and William sang. Then they looked around. And realized that they were lost. Aw shit.
This was very bad. But up ahead, William could see some deer! "Hey Roger, look, there's some deer!"
"OMG DEER!" Roger grabbed the gun and tried to aim it. William tried to steal the gun. They started fighting. And the gun went off. BAM! The deer fell over. William and Roger ran over. And saw that it wasn't a deer. It was Frank and Bertram's siblings. And they were dead. Oh dang.
"RUN!" Roger yelled. They ran.
Frank and Bertram heard the gunshots. They ran into the forest and saw William and Roger running away. They chased them. But they tripped over something. They looked down. It was a hunting rifle! Frank and Bertram were angry. Because William and Roger were shooting deer in the forest. Then they saw their siblings. Dead.
"NOOOOO!" Frank and Bertram yelled. And started chasing William and Roger again.
They came out of the forest and saw Benjamin Franklin walking down the street. William and Roger were right behind him! Frank and Bertram aimed the hunting rifle and fired. And shot Benjamin Franklin. Frank and Bertram knew they were in big trouble. So they ran away.
The police heard the gunshot. They arrived and found the hunting rifle. Frank and Bertram had dropped it too. It was pretty hard to run with a hunting rifle. The police decided to trace the hunting rifle. And traced it right back to Paul Revere.
The police showed up at Paul Revere's house. And arrested him. And read him his Miranda Rights. "You're under arrest for the murder of Benjamin Franklin. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you do not have an attorney, one will be provided. Got it?"
Paul Revere was very confused. He knew he hadn't shot Benjamin Franklin. But he was arrested, convicted, and locked up anyway.
The next day, George Washington shows up. George Washington was very angry. Benjamin Franklin had been his best friend. He missed him dearly. So he decided to challenge Paul Revere to a Wizard Duel. Paul Revere agreed. The police let him out so he could fight George Washington. They fought long and hard. But Paul Revere lost. And George Washington left him dying in a ditch.
Carlisle Cullen was walking by. He saw the man lying in a ditch. Carlisle thought he was pretty babalicious. So he decided to save him. Carlisle bit Paul Revere's neck. And waited.
Three days later, Paul Revere woke up. He felt marvelous! Carlisle was standing over him. "Hi. I'm Carlisle Cullen."
"I'm Paul Revere."
"Well, you're a vampire now. And you're famous. So change your name."
"Okay. I'm Garrett, then."
"Okay. Let's go." Carlisle grabbed Paul Revere's hand and they ran off into the sunset.