ps: please read this fanfic by virus first so that it's make more sense. (me, liquor and god by virus on archive of our own) enjoy~
La Fin Et La Debut ( A Beginning That Blossomed From An End)
Fluttering gently,
The crimson colored petals,
Dancing with wind.
Fading slowly,
Your faint voice.
Further away,
you went away,
Choking me,
Your name.
Dripping and dripping ,
My tears.
His eyes widens, his heart pounding and aching, his swollen eyes, wet with tears. He shouted and shouted, but his voice didn't reach him. he want to call out to him, but he couldn't.
i….i can't remember your name…why… why can't i…
his voice are stuck in his throat .
"k..ki…hyu…n"
"jumin? Are you having the nightmares again?" rise from her slumber, a woman . her face was painted with worries.
"leaving…he's…leaving…he's getting farther away….i shouted his name…but….i can't…I just..can't… I can't remember..his name…" the woman wrapped her arms around the trembling male, running her thin fingers thru his silky black hair.
"jumin. Ji hyun is not going anywhere. It's just a nightmare."
"ji…hyun…. It's ji hyun…He's… leaving…"
The woman let out a soft inaudible sigh before forcing a smile on her face.
"let's go and see him now. What do you think jumin?"
Jumin entangled himself from her embrace before sliding his pajamas off in a hurry.
"hurry.."
the jacket she kept near the bed, she wore it. she grabbed the key and gestured him to follow her.
"we should. Ji hyun is waiting"
XXXX
It had been more than two months since her wedding with the C&R director, Han Jumin. And it had been exactly two months since the incident during her wedding had passed. She still remembers the scent of the crimson colored petals that V—kim ji hyun, left on jumin's hand-made suit. And the tears that follows. The faint confession that was slowly carried away by the wind bringing the fluttering crimson dyed petals away from them. Ayeong stole a glance towards her husband that's sitting next to her with his hands clenched tight. She can hear him mouthing the name of his childhood friend throughout the journey. She placed her free hand on his lap, stroking it gently.
"Ji hyun will be fine, jumin. "
"he's leaving…he want to leave me…alone….like that time…"
"he won't leave. Trust me. We'll see him in a while."
XXXX
It was three in the morning when they reached the hospital. Like a kid, jumin jumped off the car and dashed into hospital, climbing the stairs to the fifth level like a maniac only to be welcomed by the sight another male lying on the bed, unconscious. Jumin let out a sigh of relief as he was welcomed by the sound of a faint beep from the heartbeat monitor. He sat down next to the male with the teal colored locks, gently clasping his warm hand.
"ji hyun… I won't forget it…your name. I won't forget it. never again."
XXXX
"it had been this way since two month ago, right mrs han?'
"the nightmare keeps coming back to him and he's slowly losing it."
"I'm sure you are worried about your husband's well-being. It seems he's indirectly affected by this."
"I would be lying if I'm not. But I could understand his reasons. Because that person is the most important person in his life."
"it's puzzling . Mr Kim was doing well with the prescription but I'm curious as to what makes it goes downhill that fast when it's only him grieving over someone. It feels like he's hiding something from me."
"what kind of illness did V suffered from exactly?"
"it's a rare disease, hanasaki byou. Basically, it's the kind of disease that affect someone with severe unrequited love. "
"unrequited love?"
"according to him, it's towards his late fiancée . but it doesn't makes sense. Just grieving will not affect him this much. We were barely able to keep him in a comatose state."
Ayeong throw a glance past the glass panel. The sight of her husband sleeping soundly while clasping V's hand made her feel uneasy. Something is poking in her heart, a hearthrob as to say. She closed her eyes for a while before she smiled.
"I'm sorry for always bothering you Dr Lee. But I hope please, do whatever you can to save V. money is not a problem."
"money matters aside, I will work hard Mrs Han. You can count on us."
She bowed slightly before excusing herself into the ward. She took her jacket off before placing it over jumin's shoulder. She took her cell phone and placed it onto the table.
"I'll come back tomorrow, V, jumin."
XXXX
The shy ray of sunlight snuck itself into the room from the crack made by the curtain, brightening the dull room. The sound of a cell phone ringing woke jumin up from his sleep. He was greeted by a cheerful voice from the speaker.
" morning daddy han~ slept well?"
" ayeong…I told you not to call me that."
"well~ this might be the last time I'll be able to call you by that nickname ~ so cut me some slack daddy~'"
"you…where are you? It's noisy"
"noisy? But I'm alone here. Ah... maybe it's the wind."
"wind? Where are you exactly? I'll pick you up. Let me just call driver ki-"
"there's no need for you to call him. I just want to feel the breeze. I'll return home in a couple of hours. Anyways, how's V doing?"
Jumin let out a sigh.
"I'll take it as a no progress." She said with a soft chuckle.
"ayeong … the nightmare are getting more vivid than ever. I'm…scared. I don't want to lose him..it scares me to even think so…"
There was a long silence. A long suffocating silence.
"jumin, V is not going anywhere. But I'm not sure how long he'd be able to stay that way. It might not be too long before…"
"AYEONG! What are you trying to—"
"only you…only you can save him. and …I want you to…save him."
"me? HOW? TELL ME AYEONG! TELL ME "
"I'd lost count how many times zen said this, and today I just want to say zen was wrong to say you're an emotionless person. but he was right on one thing, director han. You're too dense."
"ayeong ? what –"
"V loved you. For how many years, I don't know. But his love towards you is the cause of all this."
"what—"
"the shock from watching him collapse in your arms might be the reason you forget, so I want you to try and remember it. those words and your true feelings. Maybe he'll wake up when you finally remembers it."
"ayeong….i don't under—"
"the connection here sucks… I'm going to hang up now. By the way, I took one of the cactus from v's place , maybe that can help." She paused her sentence before whispering softly. "jumin…please…save V. you're the only one who can. I beg you save him." And she ended the call. She carved a smile, breathing a sigh of relief. But that smile of hers didn't last long … it soon fades from her lips and the tears she restrained, broke free. She fell down to her knee with her hand clenching her chest tight.
"it's fine…it's fine this way…" her trembling voice was drowned in tears.
" save him so that you can be saved"
XXXX
Jumin let out a soft sigh but the sight of a moon cactus placed on the desk caused him to chuckle.
"seven must have hacked V's place for her." He thought to himself. His eyes are glued to the heartbeat monitor, monitoring the weak yet visible heartbeats. His mind were still unable to process what was said by his wife on the phone just before. He decided to shrug it off. It's a waste of time after all to deal with his wife philosophical antics, he thought. He reached for a small bottle of mineral water on the desk, watering the tall moon cactus. There were no flowers despite how tall the cactus had grew.
"how weird? Is it because of the fancy flower pot?" he thought as he touched the cactus.
OUCH
A small drop of blood slowly surfaced from his index that was pricked by the cactus.
Shit. He thought to himself. There were no tissues in sight and wiping the blood on his exclusive shirt is definitely out of the question. Reluctant to even leave the unconscious male's side even for a split second, he brought the finger to his mouth, As reluctant as he was. He could taste the iron filling in his mouth and the stench that crept through his nasal cavity. Disgusting, yet it shook his heart. Disgusting, yet it make his heart throbbing in pain. Disgusting, yet it's calming ; and slowly, the stench of iron was replaced with the faint smell of flower petals. He pulled his finger out. The bleeding had stopped. He felt uneasy but he didn't know the reason behind it.
"maybe I need some fresh air." He thought as he went towards windows, opening them. He can hear the sounds of birds chirping and the fluttering petals that dances with the wind. But his feelings of uneasiness only keep growing. He turned away from the window and he felt a gush of wind and he saw the dancing petals around the unconscious male. The chirps of the birds slowly faded and the sound of crowd panicking replaced it. the white petals around him was dyed in crimson and a faint almost inaudible voice was heard.
"I love you…jumin"
He can feel his strength draining from his length. His can feel the blood draining from his face.
He remembered.
He remembered.
Those words.
Those tears.
Those painful heartache.
He remembered it all.
He dragged his legs towards the bed and with his trembling hands, he wrapped his arms around the unconscious male , embracing him tightly in his arms. Tears flow down. His chest tightened.
"Don't leave… Don't leave… Don't leave…don't leave me alone, ji hyun… Don't leave…open your eyes…please…. Tell me …those words again…please…I need you here…with me."
Just like a child who had lost his parents, jumin keeps chanting those words, sobbing endlessly. The memories that he kept suppressed was violently filling his mind, tormenting him. Ji hyun's gentle words, his smile and his trembling hand that was forcefully taken away, and his confession, everything was coming back to him. the stench of crimson red petals from his mouth becomes more vivid. He doesn't want to remember that. But it's all coming back to him. that day.
"I need you… Don't leave…me please…ji hyun.. I need you" he kept chanting in between sobs.
Out of nowhere, he felt a pair of arm, weakly wrapped around him and droplets of warmth was spread on his shoulder. He heard a weak whisper.
"I won't…. leave you, jumin."
XXXX
A few month later,
Bitter. Ayeong frowned as she took another sip of Americano. The seat in front her was vacant. She let a soft sigh before she was greeted by a familiar voice.
"Mrs Han? What a coincidence to meet you here."
"Dr Lee . it had been quite some time. Grabbing some coffee?"
"it's a necessity for me ." the doctor laughed.
"how's life?" the doctor asked
"same old same old. By the way, now that you are here, may I know what is his condition?"
"Mr kim ji hyun's condition? He's recovering very well. If I may say so, he's recovering excellently. It was a miracle. "
Ayeong smiled. " indeed it was."
"are you alone?"
"I'm waiting for someone."
"I see. Then, I'll be taking my leave first. Do come and drop by some time."
" I will if I get sick." She replied with a soft laugh. "by the way Dr lee, I'm no longer Mrs Han." The doctor's expression changed.
Ayeong sat down and before long, the vacant seat was soon occupied.
"Mr Han actually gave me an off day just to go to Kyoto with V. I can't believe it."
"yeah, I can't believe it either." Ayeong said with a smile. "i also can't believe that you would actually agreed to go on for a date with me either, jaehee"
her ears were red and she looked away. "it's not...a date...i'm just hanging out...with a friend"
ayeong let out a soft genuine laughter.
it was a momentary happiness, but i truly wish you will be happy with him more than with me.
i'll move on and i will start searching for my own sunshine,
so for now, please continue to be his sunshine, V
please continue to light his life with happiness,
for the person i once loved.
The End