Set some time towards the end of season 5.
Unbeta'ed, so I apologize for any mistakes. If you find any and are feeling generous, please point them out in comments and I'll correct them. Also, reviews are love and they make writers write. ;)
Enjoy!
It had been a long day. A long week, a long month. Case after case, and the team had barely had any time for themselves in what felt like forever. It finally felt like things had calmed down, and they all took no time in deciding that they deserved to do something nice to get the edge off. As in ingesting as much alcohol as possible and sleeping for a whole week. Granted, sleeping for a week was very far-fetched, but they could do the alcohol part.
Lou didn't want to meet with them, choosing to go see his family, who he claimed were making comments along the lines of 'who are you, again?'. Kono, however, was completely free since Adam was out of town. Melissa had already agreed to have a girls night out and it wasn't Grace's weekend, so Danny was in, too. It would be the old team, getting together to have some fun like they'd done from the beginning. They decided that Chin and Kono would be in charge of the drinks, while Danny and Steve would go get the pizzas. They agreed to meet at Steve's house in no more than half an hour. They had no time to waste.
Steve and Danny got there first and quickly started setting everything up. Blankets brought out to the lanai so they could sit on the ground, glasses, plates, napkins and the pizza boxes. Chin and Kono got there as soon as they were done, bringing with them what seemed to be an entire liquor store worth of alcohol. Beers, vodka, whiskey, tequila... They'd gone all out.
"Wow. You think you got enough booze there?" Danny asked.
"You really want this to be a night to remember, huh?" Steve added.
"Or not remember, if we actually consume all that," Danny finished.
"C'mon, guys, we just wanted to keep ours options open. No one said we have to drink it all tonight." Kono smiled.
"A'ight. Let's get this started." Steve clapped his hands and started passing plates around.
They were soon sitting down with their pizzas and glasses full of drink of choice, all of them choosing the blankets instead of the chairs. At first they were too concerned with filling their empty stomachs and downing their drinks to talk, but soon conversation started flowing, and they were chatting happily, laughing and joking as they always did when they had a chance to wind down. They all started to relax, the strain of the past month slowly leaving their bodies. After a few hours and a considerable amount of Chin and Kono's contribution having been consumed, they were all too giddy and playful to complain when Kono made her suggestion.
"We should play truth or dare!" She blurted the slightly slurred words in the midst of another fit of laughter.
The boys looked at each other and shrugged. It's not like they had any better ideas. Or cared either way.
"Sure, why not?" Chin offered. "Who starts?"
"I do!" Kono said excitedly.
"Of course," Danny grumbled.
"What's the matter, Danno? Afraid of what she might wrangle out of you?" Steve asked trying to rile Danny up as always.
"No, Steven. I'm only just on the right side of sober to think that she might have ulterior motives."
"What?" Kono was the picture of innocence. "I just want us all to have some fun. No need to worry, Danny."
"I'm not worried. I'm just mildly aware of the need to be cautious around a drunken Kono."
"Are you kids gonna bicker all night or are we going to play this game?" Chin asked, amused.
"No, we're playing!" Kono slurred, slamming her glass on the ground and spilling half her whiskey. "And I'm gonna start with..." She looked around, staring at all three of the men, a pensive, mischievous look on her face. "Steve."
"Bold," Chin said quietly while Steve raised an eyebrow.
"Truth or dare, Boss?" Kono smiled.
"Dare," Steve answered without a second thought.
"As if he'd ever choose anything else," Danny huffed.
Which was true. There was pretty much nothing you could dare Steve with that he couldn't do, or would mind doing. Being forthcoming with the truth, on the other hand...
"Fine, dare it is." Kono looked as if she was thinking what to dare him to do. "I dare you to... tell us something about yourself that none of us know."
"Hey, that's not fair!" Steve was indignant. "You can't do that, that's the same as if I'd chosen truth!"
"No, it's not. You get to choose what you're going to tell us." Kono had a smug, triumphant smile on her face. "See, boss, I got your back." She winked at Steve.
"I'm not so sure I see it that way." Steve stared murderously at Kono, who should probably be more worried than she looked. He could get back at her in some pretty bad ways, after all. In fact, he was already plotting how.
"Okay, stop stalling," Danny interrupted them. "Just tell us something already."
Steve gave out a resigned sigh, trying to think of the least compromising thing he could tell them. It was harder than it seemed. Granted, he wasn't the most forthcoming person when talking about his personal life, but he and Danny were pretty close, and Danny knew a whole damn lot about him. Finding something that he was willing to share that even Danny didn't know... Aha! Inspiration struck. This would teach Kono for being such a smart-ass.
Steve drew in a long breath and declared, proud to have found something. "I'm circumcised."
"Oh, God!" Danny was almost gagging. "I did not need to know that."
"TMI, boss. TMI." Chin was shaking his head slightly.
"What? This wasn't my fault! Blame Kono, she started this!"
But at that point they couldn't do anything about Kono, who was laughing so hard she was rolling on the ground, face all red, barely breathing.
"Maybe we should do something to help her?" Chin asked after a few minutes went by, slight worry in his tone of voice.
"No, I'm fine, I'm fine." Kono's voice came strangled from somewhere. "Just keep playing."
"Yeah, let's keep playing." Steve smiled with could only be described as vengeance in his eyes. "Danny."
"What? Why me? What have I ever done to you?"
"What, you want a list? Should it be chronological or alphabetized?"
"You think you're so funny, don't you?"
"I kinda do, yeah." Steve was wearing his trademark smirk.
"Fine. I choose truth, because I, unlike you, have no trouble talking about things."
"Really? I'd never noticed." Steve's voice was dripping with sarcasm.
"Haha. Are you going to ask your question or what?"
"Give me a minute, I have to think about it. This has to be good."
"Oh, god, stop being so dramatic. Just ask me something."
Chin was staring from one to the other, amusement mixed with resignation. He didn't dare interrupt. Kono was still lying on the ground.
"Ah, I know!"
"Finally," Danny huffed.
"What did your parents call you when you were a child?" Steve's smug grin was even smugger.
"Oh, you son of a..."
"What, Danny? I thought you said you had no trouble talking about things."
"I don't! But you're taking advantage of something I told you in confidence in a moment of weakness. Besides, you already know the answer, so it doesn't count."
Chin's and Kono's interest had been piqued by then.
"Oh, I think it counts," Chin said, definitely amused now.
"Yeah, Danny, we don't know, so spit it out." Kono had even gotten up now, staring intently at Danny.
"I'm so getting back at you for this, Steven," Danny grumbled.
"I'm looking forward to it." Steve had his arms crossed over his chest now, his chin up, trying to look as provoking as he possibly could. "Now, just tell them."
"Fine," Danny huffed, closed his eyes for a second, then sighed. "They called me their little oompa loompa," he said under his breath, not looking up.
Chin and Kono burst out laughing, and Kono's laugh soon turned out hysterical and she was down on the ground trying to catch her breath again. Steve was very pleased with himself.
"Oh, you think this is funny?" Danny turned to Kono, who was struggling to sit up again. "Then you're the next victim."
"There are no victims in this game, Danny. Just friends having fun." Kono slurred her words, looking drunk out of her mind.
"Oh, you'll be changing your tune soon enough," Danny said, sounding menacing. Or at least that's how it seemed like he was trying to sound. It was very hard to tell at this point.
They kept playing for about an hour, to the point where they didn't know anymore who was trying to get back at whom, they were just trying to outdo each other, thinking of more and more outrageous ways to embarrass one another.
"Okay, Danny," Kono started, "Truth or dare?"
"I don't know, I don't care. Dare, I guess."
"Great. I dare you to kiss Steve."
Danny was starting to shrug, but Kono continued.
"A real kiss. On the mouth. For thirty seconds."
"What?!" Danny's eyes were impossibly wide.
"Oooh, good one, cuz."
"No, no. Not good. I am not kissing Steve."
"What's the matter, Danno? Scared you won't be able to resist my charm and fall in love with me?"
"No, Steven, I'm not scared. It's just... I'm not... I can't... It's just wrong, okay?"
"Well, you chose dare and this is my dare, so you have to do it." Kono had her 'don't-anger-me-I'm-a-super-badass-who-could-beat-your-ass-to-the-ground' look.
"Oh, god, please don't do this to me." Apparently Danny wasn't above begging, a look of pure desperation on his face.
"C'mon, Danny, man up. Just kiss the boss already," Chin said a little more enthused than he usually spoke, the alcohol clearly having had its effect on him, too.
"Seriously, Danny, you're hurting my feelings. I'm almost thinking I'm undesirable." Steve tried to sound hurt, even attempting a pout.
"Yeah, right. Nothing in the world could bruise that huge ego of yours." Danny looked around and seemed to finally realize that he was outnumbered and it would probably be better to just get it all over with. "Fine, come here."
Steve and Kono switched places so Steve could sit beside Danny. Danny had his eyes closed, muttering under his breath. When he opened his eyes, Steve's face was just a few inches from his.
"Hi," Steve breathed, having way too much fun with this whole thing. Even if he wasn't particularly fond of the idea of kissing Danny himself, it would definitely give them material for years of making fun of Danny and winding him up, which would make all of this totally worth it. He had half a mind to ask one of the cousins to film it.
"Oh, god." Danny swallowed and closed his eyes. They were so close that their breaths were mingling now. He took a deep breath and leaned in, tentatively pressing his lips against Steve's. He didn't dare move, though.
"C'mon, Danny. It has to be a real kiss or it doesn't count," Kono said from the other side of the circle.
Steve could feel Danny swallowing again and slowly start moving his lips. Steve started kissing him back because even he knew that it would be unfair to let Danny do all the work and... Oh. Dear. God. This was not supposed to feel good. It especially wasn't supposed to feel this good. The kiss got a little more intense, and he could hear Kono wolf-whistling. But it was all beginning to seem like it was coming from very far away, the whistle, the sound of the waves. The lanai and the beach, the cousins, it all seemed to be fading away, because oh, god, Danny's lips. They were soft and warm and wet, and they were making his own lips tingle. He could feel warmth flowing all over his body and all he could think of was Danny... Danny... Danny... He just wanted more of him. He pressed their lips harder together and he thought he could hear a very soft moan coming from Danny's throat. He wondered what would happen if he tried... just a soft lick over Danny's lower lip and oh, fuck, all of a sudden Danny's tongue was tangling with his and the kiss got deeper and he desperately needed Danny to be closer. He lifted his hand to cradle the back of Danny's neck and pull him closer, Danny immediately placing a hand on his waist, pulling him in. It was Steve's turn to moan now, a desperate, needy sound coming from deep down his throat. Danny responded by grabbing Steve's waist harder, almost as if he was afraid Steve would disappear if he let him go. Steve completely lost track of time because all he could think of was that he wished this would never, ever end. He didn't have time to question what he was feeling, how at this very moment he wanted Danny more than he had ever wanted anyone else in his entire life.
Danny started pulling away, and Steve couldn't help letting out a moan of frustration from the sudden loss. He knew they needed to breathe, though, so he let him go. He slowly opened his eyes and watched Danny, his eyes still closed, licking his lips and swallowing hard. He saw the dazed look on Danny's face as he opened his eyes, slowly looking up as if afraid to reach Steve's gaze.
"What just happened?" Danny's voice was rough with arousal, making Steve tingle all over again.
"Uh, we kissed," Steve stated the obvious, not capable of forming any other coherent thought.
"Yeah, I'm aware of that." Danny breathed deep and swallowed hard again. "I'm oh, so very aware of that."
Danny still looked completely out of it and Steve imagined he didn't look much different. They just sat there for a while, trying to slowly get back to reality, when Steve noticed something.
"You're still holding me."
"So are you."
Steve thought that he should probably let Danny go at this point, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, starting to gently stroke Danny's cheek with his thumb instead. Apparently, Danny couldn't let Steve go either and he leaned into Steve's touch. After a few moments of the two of them allowing themselves to be lost in each other's touch, Danny started looking around.
"Uh, where's Chin and Kono?"
Steve looked around, too, and noticed they were now completely alone in the lanai. He couldn't hear any noises coming from the house either.
"I have no idea. I guess they left."
"Huh. Okay."
Then they were staring into each other's eyes and Steve got completely lost in those gorgeous blue depths. He couldn't help leaning in, wanting to taste Danny's lips again. But Danny started pulling away, finally letting go of Steve's waist.
"Uh, I... I guess I should go, too."
"No, Danny, you don't have to." Steve loosened his hold on Danny's neck, not wanting to force Danny to stay so close to him, and Danny pulled all the way back, completely breaking their connection. Steve felt the loss deeply.
"Yeah, I do." Danny was staring into Steve's eyes, and for all Steve had learned how to read Danny's feelings throughout the years, he had no idea what Danny was feeling now. "I'm sorry, Steve. I can't do this." Danny got up and turned to leave. He stopped by the door that lead to the house, standing there leaning, his hand on the frame for what seemed like forever with his back turned to Steve. He turned back, walked towards Steve, leaned down, grabbed the back of Steve's neck and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry. I really am." This time he turned to leave and didn't look back. Steve didn't move, he just watched the door closing behind Danny and then he was alone.
xXxXx
Steve remained sitting there, completely alone. He stared into the ocean, getting lost in the sound of the waves coming and going. Millions of thoughts were running through his head, at the same time feeling like his mind was completely blank. He had no idea how long he stayed there, but he only got up after sunrise. His mind hadn't gotten any clearer, he had no idea what to think, how he felt... He decided to go to his usual morning run, in hopes that it would help him settle a little.
He ran for about an hour, tiring his body as much as he could. It worked a little, the discomfort the numerous thoughts had been causing during the night easing up somewhat. He got back home and went to take a shower, where his thoughts finally settled, and he could tell exactly what he was feeling. Pain. Unusual and very disturbing pain.
He couldn't believe how things could have changed so much in the course of one night. The day before, things between him and Danny had been as perfect as usual. They were the best of friends, who loved one another deeply – like brothers, obviously – and who could always count on each other. But now... now he wanted more, needed more. He couldn't imagine being just friends now that he knew what it felt like to be with Danny... sexually? romantically? He didn't know what to call it, he just knew he wanted it. It had been just one kiss, one simple kiss, but it had burst a dam Steve didn't even know existed. Now all his feelings for Danny were flowing, and he couldn't pretend that he loved Danny just like a brother anymore.
But Danny had left. He didn't want to be with Steve. He clearly regretted what had happened – not that he'd had much of a choice in doing it – and now he would most likely act like it had all been just one big drunken mistake. Steve didn't know how he could possibly deal with that. He could never refer to that kiss as a mistake. On the contrary, it was probably one of the best things that had ever happened to him. Danny was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And now he would have to see him every day and know what he was missing. That thought brought an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, like it was all twisted up in knots. He couldn't remember ever feeling that way. He'd never been one to pine, he either got what he wanted or moved on. He'd never cared about anyone that much anyway, if he couldn't have someone it was all the same to him. But Danny... Not having him, it seemed like that was something that would never be okay to Steve. He felt like he'd lost everything. He couldn't have Danny the way he wanted him, and he was afraid he would lose his best friend, that he'd never be able to see Danny the same way again.
Steve could still feel Danny's lips on his, Danny's tongue in his mouth, caressing, searching, tasting like nectar, a perfect, singular taste that was all Danny. How could he look at Danny, know what he was capable of and ignore it, knowing that it was very likely that he'd never feel something like that again? Even if he would never regret what happened, a small part of him wished it never had. Ignorance is bliss, after all, and maybe it would be for the best if he didn't know how much better things could be. He could still be living his life, taking whatever small bit of happiness he could get, as he was so used to doing.
Actually, strike that. If he was wishing for things, he wished Danny wanted him, too. Was it really so much to ask? To have, for once, something good, really good, happen to him?
While lost in his thoughts, Steve had finished his shower, dressed, made coffee and was now sitting on his couch cradling his cup of coffee, staring into space. He was glad it was the weekend and he'd have some time alone, hoping to the god that a case wouldn't come up. Somehow he thought that burying his feelings would be a lot harder this time. He knew he did it. He knew he'd never truly dealt with his father's death, or Doris reappearance, but it served him to ignore all of that and keep living his life as if none of it was true. He never saw any reason to drag all that into the light of day, no outcome that would benefit him in any way. But this time, it was about Danny. Danny, the person that was slowly teaching him how to feel again, how to care, how to open up, trusting that the person on the other end would always, always have his back, be it on the field or when he came closer to breaking. How could Steve ever hide what he was feeling now from that person? The one that had catalogued his faces, who knew him well enough to recognize when something was bothering him before he ever did? But, no matter how hard it might be, Steve would have to find a way to do it. It was better to have Danny as a friend than not at all, right? Right. He could convince himself of that, he knew he could.
The door opened then, and Danny strolled right in, like he owned the place. Steve had a little moment of panic, not having been prepared to hide all his thoughts just yet, worried that Danny would see right through him.
"Hey." Danny smiled tentatively, and Steve's panic increased. With everything he'd been thinking, it had never occurred to him that maybe Danny would start acting weird around him.
"Hey." Steve smiled back, trying oh, so very hard to look normal.
"Mind if I get some coffee?"
"Uh... no, go ahead." Steve tried to control his feelings. He so wasn't prepared to deal with Danny. He took the time Danny was in the kitchen to try and steal himself, taking deep, rhythmic breaths. He'd learned to calm himself for the most dangerous ops, he could do it now. He just needed to focus.
Danny came back, cup of coffee in hand, and sat on the couch beside Steve, leaving some distance between them. He stared into his cup for a moment before he started talking, not looking at Steve.
"I, uh... I'm sorry about last night, I just... I guess I had to think about things."
"It's okay, Danny, I get it. You don't have to explain anything to me." Steve tried to sound calm, thinking that if he could help Danny relax, make things easier for him, then maybe at least their friendship could be saved.
"But I want to. You're my best friend, and we should talk about this. I don't want things to get weird between us." Danny had looked up now, staring into Steve's eyes.
Okay, at least they were on the same page. Sort of. It's not like Steve had hoped that Danny could ever want the same thing he did. The sinking feeling in his stomach somewhat belied that thought, but Steve chose to ignore that. It was obvious that Danny hadn't felt what he had during the kiss. He'd just been drunk and got caught up in the moment. Steve thought that there was no need to prolong this. He didn't need to talk, he didn't need Danny spelling out how Steve knew the other man felt. It would be better if he just tried to forget about last night and find a way to move on. Even if for the moment he had no idea how to do that.
"Really, Danny, everything's fine. You don't need to-"
"I broke it off with Melissa."
Wait, what?
"What?"
"It just wouldn't be right to stay with her if I'm in love with someone else. I know last night probably didn't mean anything to you, but I won't be able to forget it any time soon. Even if nothing can ever happen between us, I still won't be able to be with anyone else until a get over you."
Steve was still stuck on the first sentence.
"Wait, you're what?" Steve was having a very hard time getting the words out. He wondered if he could have had a stroke. "You're... in lov... You're in love with me?"
Danny breathed out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, I guess I am. I probably have been for a really long time, I just had never looked at it that way. But after last night, it was like someone lit up a neon sign pointing to everything I've ever felt for you. And being in love is pretty much the only way I can describe all of it. It's actually pretty obvious now that I think about it."
Steve was in complete shock. His mouth was hanging half-open, and he was pretty sure he wasn't even blinking. Maybe he was dreaming. He discreetly pinched himself. No, not dreaming. Maybe hallucinating. He thought he'd still feel the pinch if he were hallucinating. How could he tell, then? Maybe he should call someone, make sure Danny was actually sitting there in front of him. But would he be able to think all this if he were hallucinating? He didn't think so. He noticed Danny was staring at him. He desperately wanted to say something, but apparently he'd forgotten how to pull air in and let it out in the form of words.
"Steve, it's okay. You don't owe me anything. I just thought it was only fair that you knew. I thought things would be a lot worse if we pretended last night never happened. It's better if everything is out in the open. I promise I won't let things change between us. You're too important to me."
Steve was slowly, very slowly catching up and he fought hard to regain the ability to form – mostly – coherent thoughts.
"Uh, what makes you think nothing can happen between us?" He asked what was probably the least important question at the moment, not to mention nonsensical, considering he'd jumped to the same conclusion himself. But it was the first thing that had occurred to him, so he just went with it.
"Well, for starters, you're straight. And there's the whole thing with Catherine. I know you're not over her yet. I know last night probably just happened because you were drunk and lonely. And it's okay, babe, I promise."
"Danny, just hold on a second." Steve tried to think, to put words together in a way that they would actually mean what he wanted them to mean. He was breathing through the insane beating of his heart, which seemed ready to burst out of his chest. He thought there must be a mistake, there was no way he was having this conversation with Danny. Except apparently he was. Danny was looking at him with those amazing blue eyes, so much honesty and feeling in them that Steve felt like he was falling for him all over again. Which didn't help him find the right words to say at all. He took a deep breath and tried to focus, hoping he'd be able to talk and not fuck things up.
"Okay, first, I think after last night it's safe to assume I'm as straight as you are. Which apparently is... not." Steve breathed deeply again, trying to get through this without passing out. If only his heart would stop beating so fast. "Second, I don't care about Catherine. I mean, of course she mattered, a lot, but as much as I love her, she will never, ever mean as much to me as you do. You're the most important person in the world for me, Danny."
And it seemed Steve had finally found a way to render Danny speechless.
"Danny, I'm in love with you, too. I think I've been in love with you from the moment we met. If you pointing your gun at me hadn't been enough, you punching me definitely did the trick."
Danny was laughing now, looking down, shaking his head. He looked up at Steve, beaming. "You're insane, you know that, right?"
"So you keep telling me." Steve was beaming, too.
Danny lifted up his hands to lightly stroke the sides of Steve's face. He was gazing into Steve's eyes, his face an expression of pure fondness and... love. "You're a reckless, dangerous, goofy nut job. And I wouldn't have you any other way."
"I love you, too." Steve laughed, feeling so much relief and so happy he thought he might explode. He was honestly wondering if it was possible to die of happiness because he wasn't entirely sure his body could take everything he was feeling. God knows he'd never felt like this before. He didn't take his eyes off Danny's, smile so big it hurt. But then the smile faded a bit, and he turned more serious. "Hey, Danno?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I kiss you now?"
"Yes, Steven. You can kiss me."