Why, Germany wondered, could the Mediterranean nations never organize anything? Take today, for example - please. Even for Greece it was unseasonally hot, but the air conditioning for the conference center didn't work, Greece himself was asleep - again - and absolutely nothing was happening to fix it.
He was half-tempted to return home for long enough to collect his tools and repair the blasted thing himself, only he knew if he did he'd be accused of trying to take over. Again. Honestly, there were times he was tempted to hand the entire mess over to Prussia and just retire and raise dogs or repair cars or something. Something that made sense.
It didn't help that France had removed his shirt and had to be forcibly prevented from removing his trousers as well. Spain and both Italies followed suit soon after, although they - God be thanked - made no attempt to take their trousers off. After the Nordics - all of them - joined the shirtless trend, Germany stopped trying to enforce decency. He left his shirt on, although he did unbutton it so what little air circulation their was could cool his undershirt. It was uncomfortable, but he wasn't about to strip off around France.
His brother had no such reservations, and currently sprawled in his chair, shirtless. Germany was used to that, although he really didn't like it when Prussia paraded around the rest of the world half-naked, and not just because he preferred more clothing on than even his people did. It was the looks Prussia got from the other nations, half-lidded gazes that said without words "I'd like to tap that", and the way Prussia himself seemed utterly oblivious to the way the rest of the world's minds turned to sex when Prussia took his shirt off.
Not that Prussia was the only one to inspire that response: America got it too, and - on those rare occasions when he wasn't fading into the background - Canada. Australia was another popular choice, and the one time Germany had been caught shirtless he was quite certain he figured in more than a few lust-induced fantasies. His fellow nations had all the moral restraint of cats in heat.
"Uh, M-m-m-mister G-g-germany?"
He turned to Latvia, who - poor thing - was even more of a trembling, flushing mess than usual. The heat and so many shirtless nations must be terrifying him (Germany privately considered the prospect of a shirtless Russia quite sufficiently traumatizing). "Yes, Latvia?"
"C-could we m-m-maybe t-t-take a b-break?"
If Latvia's face got any redder he might suffer heat stroke, and that thought was enough to convince Germany a break was needed. "Yes." He raised his voice to call the break - not that anything productive was happening - and informed his fellow nations that they would reconvene at six in the evening when it would - hopefully - be cool enough to at least consider the meeting agenda.
#
Conversation swirled around the resort swimming pool. Unlike the conference center, the resort where the nations were staying actually had functional cooling, but most of the nations had chosen to cool off around the pool. Australia and America had teamed up in an attempt to get as many nations into the water as they could, Australia with a big grin and a teeny tiny bathing costume that wouldn't have been out of place in a strip club (he called it "dick togs", which was just confusing. What in the world were 'togs'?). America at least covered everything that should be covered and didn't have Florida straining thin spandex. The board shorts might be garish (honestly, star spangled underwear?) but at least they weren't obscene.
Liechtenstein wore a modest one-piece, and Hungary and Belgium tiny bikinis (those things couldn't possibly support their... them properly). All three lazed in the shallow end of the pool, in a section shaded by an ugly pavilion. Germany himself had chosen plain board-short style trunks and a tee shirt. In this heat they covered enough without being excessive, and swimming laps - or as close as he could get to it in the artistically shaped pool - helped to burn off frustration without tempting him to beat sense into anyone.
The scraps of chatter he heard drifted past him without really registering: Lithuania and Estonia trying to convince Latvia to talk to Liechtenstein or Belgium. "They don't bite. Not unless you ask!"
Hungary speculating on the latest relationship gossip, only to be corrected by France. Germany was thankful his not-exactly-relationship with Italy Veneziano had long since been dismissed by Hungary as 'boring'.
Russia's creepy laughter and everyone else's exclamations of shock when he actually took his scarf off and joined the others in the pool, followed by Australia's cheerful offer of "swimming lessons" in a tone that said there wouldn't be much actual swimming being done.
Germany didn't want to think about that. Sure, nothing scared Australia, but sex with Russia was not for the faint-hearted. Aside from anything else, there was the risk of frozen vital regions.
America shouting "Oh god! Not in the pool! Ew!"
Germany decided he'd done enough swimming. If the rest of the world wanted an orgy, fine, but he was not participating.
Latvia hovered near where he'd left his towel, wringing his hands and shaking. Poor boy was still flushed from the heat, too. He waited until Germany had toweled off before he asked, "Mister Germany... is Mister P-prussia all right? I... I thought he'd be here?"
That was rather sweet of him, Germany thought. Mostly the other nations were thankful when Prussia wasn't around. "He's fine, Latvia. He prefers not to be outside in this kind of sun. He sunburns too easily." Germany had used plenty of sunblock before coming out to the pool: with Prussia even that wasn't always enough.
"Would... do you think... he'd m-mind... if I -"
Germany tried to make his smile as gentle as he could (Both Italies told him he was terrifying when he smiled). "I'm sure he'd be delighted if you visited." Although Latvia's trembling and stammering would get tiring very quickly, at least for Germany. He really didn't like it when the others were scared of him: it reminded him too much of the war years.
Well, Prussia might never admit it, but he had a major weakness for the small and cute, and Latvia was both. He'd probably act the way he did around Liechtenstein, all sweet and kind and the perfect gentleman. Prussia might even be able to convince the boy that Switzerland wouldn't kill him if he socialized with Liechtenstein a little.
#
Germany wasn't at all surprised to find the room he and Prussia shared scrupulously neat. He'd learned those habits from his brother, after all. Prussia himself sat at the small desk with his laptop, reading and occasionally typing, a ferocious frown on his face for a moment before he rose and turned. "Done already, brother? Oh, hello, Latvia. What can I do for you?"
Latvia's mouth fell open.
Germany closed the door and made sure he didn't smile. Prussia's real nature wasn't the loudmouthed lout he pretended to be in public, and it always - always shocked the others to discover this.
"I... um..." Now Latvia flushed a deep, dark red. "I..." He looked down, trembling.
Germany wondered if he should try to reassure the smaller nation, but before he could act his brother said, "Spit it out, kid. I promise not to laugh at you or get angry at you."
That only made Latvia turn redder. "I... I..." With a sound of frustration, he gave up trying to speak and pushed his trunks down. Trunks that - and Germany realized this only now - were loose enough to completely conceal an erection that clearly explained all of Latvia's flushing and stammering.
He was quite certain his own face had caught fire.
Prussia's grin was absolutely wicked. "I see." He stretched, the tee-shirt he wore clearly showing every muscle. "And you'd like us to fix it for you?"
Latvia still couldn't manage to get words out, but he could and did nod. Emphatically. He looked from Germany to Prussia and back, and now Germany was quite certain this had been his problem from the start.
Yes, Germany's face was definitely on fire, and the heat had spread to his ears. As well as further south.
Prussia drew the curtains, grinning even more broadly. "How could I refuse such a heartfelt salute?" His eyes seem to almost glow in the dimness.
Germany realized then that he was doomed.