RED! A primary color: the color that represents love, but also represents hate poured itself into his body, seeping into his veins, turning the warm, loving, caring, and oh so passionate man that he'd become during his relationship, cold. Noah had had a few conversations with a couple of friends who seemed to notice a change in his behavior, mainly his younger sister Nicolette, his mother and his Bubbie. It was one in which they'd become worried about. Noah had become a little strange but it was only a result of him feeling like his fiancée, the love of his life, Mercedes, was shutting him out. He'd been getting this vibe from her for a couple of days. Granted he'd been unsure of how invested she was in this relationship and began acting odd. Of course, never one to bite her tongue, a quality Noah both loved and hated, Mercedes called him out on his bullshit. He didn't want to tell her what had been troubling him these last few days, she'd think he was insane, stupid and childish for being so insecure. But he wanted, no needed to apologize. Apologize for the big blowout they had earlier. Apologize for his weird behavior and being standoffish. Apologize for taking his frustrations out on her and not letting her in, in the same ways he'd been trying to get her to do. Apologize because he was wrong and it was the right thing to do.
So he did what he thought was best. He prepared a lovely meal for the two of them and cleaned up her place, where he'd been spending most of his nights since they started dating, setting her place up real nice in an effort to make things better. Noah was currently putting the last of the finishing touches on the table, waiting on her to return from wherever she was when he heard a car pull up. He peaked out the window to see if his future wife had return and that's when he saw it. One of the vilest things she could ever do to him, that anyone in a relationship could do to their significant other. "How could she?" he thought out loud, moving from by the window and plopping down on the couch in front of it. He'd just watched her press her lips against another man's and he was furious. It didn't matter who initiated the kiss, the only thing that mattered to him was that she reciprocated it. Her lipstick smeared, evident on his lips. What made matters worse was the clear focus of the person who'd just had the privilege of tasting his woman's lips, Samuel Evans. He fathered the child that she was now carrying, something Noah already had a hard time dealing with, granted those two were together and over before they committed themselves to one another. Feelings of hurt and betrayal filled his body while he oozed anger and jealousy. His breathing because heavy as he let out a loud scream and kicked the chair that sat by the desk in her house. He huffed and continued his assault on the furniture in her place, flipping over a footrest and anything else that had been in his way, including the table he's just set.
Mercedes, very much pregnant and easily irritated had gotten frustrated with how her soon-to-be husband, Noah was behaving. He was extremely jealous and in the beginning of their relationship she thought it was kind of cute, how he always wanted to be around her and how protective he became when another man was around. It was however, becoming way too much for her to deal with so she decided to call up the guys and was pleased when Sam suggested that she comes with him to a family get together. She agreed, but didn't feel like driving there or back, so when Sam offered to pick her up, she didn't hesitate to accept the offer. They'd spent majority of the time lounging around, eating food, telling jokes and reminiscing on the times they spent together during their summer fling. Mercedes had spent almost a full six hours with them before she looked at the times and realized exactly how late it was. 7:30pm and the sun hadn't started to set yet, but it wouldn't be long before it did.
Enjoying the nonstop laughs and jokes, she didn't push Sam to leave earlier when she realized she was becoming restless. She simply waited until he had finally decided he was ready to leave and helped her from her chair and to the car. They said their goodbyes to his family and soon were on route back to her place. Head resting upon the door frame while her hand dangled out the window, she stared out of it the entire way home, while engaging in a full conversation with Sam. They had spent so much of their days together during their relationship; she was extremely comfortable around him. It wasn't long before they were turning into the street of her house and she chuckled at him while he turned into her driveway. She took off her seat belt and turned to embrace him in a hug. Maybe it was a habit that had yet to stop, or maybe something more that caused her to lean in and kiss Sam back when he kissed her, but she did. Their lips moved in sync and they stayed wrapped up in each other for what felt like forever but couldn't have been longer than a few minutes. They pulled away to catch their breaths and she immediately felt bad. She gasped as her chest heaved up and down, pushing him back, a frown formed on their lips: his due to loss of touch, hers due to her unacceptable actions. Had it been Noah she caught kissing another woman she would have lost it. "Sam..." she started, looking down as she played with her fingers, "we shouldn't do this...ever again. We decided that us being apart is what's best. For you, me and the baby remember?" she continued quietly. "No, you decided. I only agreed to this," Sam pointed back and forth in between them two "to give you some time." he countered. "That's bullshit and you know it. We didn't work out and we both know why. I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later." she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry but I can't do this to him." She pressed a kiss to his cheek and got out of the car waving goodbye. Mercedes waited until her pulled off and released a breath she wasn't aware she was holding, using her key to unlock the door and proceeded to go inside.
Noah was a pit bull foaming at the mouth. His leg shook involuntarily as he tried to calm himself down but he was unable to do so. He stopped his tyrant and held the small stool in his hands, his head snapping towards the door as he heard a pair of keys unlocking the door. He threw it into the hall and watched as it smashed into the door, flopping back onto the couch breathing heavier than before. She came into full view and he glared at her long and hard. He was right about her. All those times that he'd asked her if she still had feelings for him and she denied it, knowing all along it was a lie, the pain was unbearable. His chest heaved up and down will his eyes remained fixated on her.
Mercedes heard the noise as she stepped over the threshold, into the house and it startled her. She rushed into the living room thinking something might have happened to one of her dogs and the possibility that one of them may have gotten hurt, stopping abruptly in her tracks when she saw Noah. She looked at him, then them table, back at him again and then finally the rest of the room "Okay then...What's wrong with you baby?" she frowned confused. "And what the hell happened in my house while I was gone?" she asked a little annoyed that the place was a lot worse that she left it. Her attitude remained until she focused her eyes back onto Noah. She frowned again, confused. She couldn't understand why he was looking at her the way he was and it was bothering her. He had never looked at her the way he was now, with suck hatred in his heart.
He opened his mouth to speak but no words fell from his lips. He tried a few more times and still he couldn't muster up any words. The confused look on her face caused him to scoff. 'She's really going to play dumb with me?' he thought to himself. He took a good look around the room and no longer felt like himself. He wanted answers but there was no need for anything. She didn't want him and it hurt. It hurt more than any pain he'd ever felt. Ignoring her questions, he rose from the couch and walked passed her, storming up the stairs to her bedroom.
She tilted her head, one hand on her hip, taking her diva stance, looking at him as she waited for words to leave his mouth. She wanted him to say something, anything. She'd be okay with a simple one word answer from him at this point, but she got nothing. She huffed softly when he went upstairs and she kicked off her shoes, leaving them at the end of the stairs before following him into her room. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?" she tried again, with pleading eyes leaning against the door frame.
He could hear her follow him up the stairs which only made him move faster, skipping steps along the way. Once inside, he started looking around the room collecting his some of his things that had accumulated over his daily stays. Hearing her voice, he looked over his shoulder and shook his head, as he continued to go through her closet and her drawers. He pulled out all of the things he could easily spot and tossed them onto her bed only stopping to pull a duffle bag from the back of her closet.
"Baby. Noah! Noah Asher Puckerman, I know you hear me." she spoke, her voice raising an octave each time she called his name. "Damnit, answer me when I'm talking to you!" she screamed louder walking up behind him. "Can you please tell me what the hell is wrong with you? And where are you going?" she turned him around so that he was facing her.
"Baby?" Noah scoffed looking her up and down, dismissing the questions. "I think you've got me confused with someone else. You might want to check your long list of potentials. Or better yet, how about you give ol' lover boy a call, I'm sure he hasn't gone far yet." he rolled his eyes, turning his back on her stuffing his things into the bag.
"Yes baby, as in you, my boyfriend, the man who I supposed to marry who is standing in front of me. The same man who's clearly being a dick right now, might I add." She looked at him and frowned again seeing him grab his things and put them into the bag. "Can you please look at me explain to me what's going on?" she asked, turning him to face her once again. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Okay I'll look at you. Where were you coming from just now?" he asked looking at her as he dropped the bag down into the bed.
She raised her eyebrow slightly at his question "Sam and I went to hang out with his parents, his little brother and sister, and the rest of his family. They came up for a little get together of some sort. Why?" she sat on the bed watching him trying to figure what was going on. "What does this have to do with my living room looking like shit and you acting like a goddamn mad man?"
"Of course you were with Sam." he spoke, disgust filling his voice. Noah had calmed down enough to the point where he was able to form words and complete sentences. He was going to use this time to get out want he needed to get out. "How'd you get back here? You didn't take your car?" he fired another question, still refusing to answer any of hers.
She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "So what if I was with him. You forget I'm grown? He is my friend and the father of my child, making me liable to see him whenever I please, so yes I was with Sam. We went to see his family and I rode with him because I didn't want to drive." she glared at him
"Oh, so you go around tonguing down all of your friends now?" he grilled her. "I didn't know that was a thing Mercedes. I must have missed the memo. Especially the one that says it's okay to swap spit with someone else when you're in a relationship." he shook his head, turning his back on her and continued fishing through her drawers and closets.
Preparing herself to go back and forth with Noah on his insecurities about Sam, she froze and fell back on the bed, her heart dropping. At that moment Mercedes had become the true definition if speechless. For several minutes nothing came out. She took a few deep breaths as she dropped his gaze. "Noah, it...it wasn't like that...I swear...it wasn't what you think you saw." she stumbled over her words.
"Mercedes, I'm not blind. Maybe a little dumb, a tad stupid and extremely crazy because I thought that you could love me but I'm not blind. I know what the hell I saw. I..I...I saw you...kiss him." his voice cracked and tears filled his eyes. "You gonna tell me that it wasn't you in the car with him? That Oprah helped you find your long lost twin and that it was her kissing Sam and not you. That I'm making this whole thing up? If you didn't kiss him then who did the fucking boogeyman?"
"Stop it. I do love you Noah. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't love you" she looked at him playing with the engagement ring he'd proposed to her with on her fingers "I didn't kiss him. He kissed me and I pushed him away, okay. I pushed him away because I don't love him and I don't want to be with him...he isn't my forever, you are! I want to be with you"
"Do you Mercedes? Do you really, because you know what? I fucking love you. I love you with everything in me. And to have to see that, to feel how I feel... it hurts. I don't like it." the tears he fought so hard to retain spilled from his eyes. "I don't think you know how it feels to have your heart ripped out and stomped on. I would never kiss another woman while I was with you. I wouldn't even dare to look at another woman. Why? Because you were it for me."
Mercedes stood from the bed and slowly walked over to him "I do love you Noah. I really do. So much more than I ever thought I would and I'm so sorry. I swear to you I am" she placed her hand on his arm "Please you have to believe me...I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you."
If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Mercedes took a couple steps back shaking his head. He closed his eyes tight to keep from crying, but it didn't help. Tears fells free from his eyes like waterfalls. No matter how hard he tried to blink back tears, nothing was helping. He jumped at her touch and moved back more. "Don't... Don't touch me." his hazel eyes searched her brown ones. "You did hurt me. The one person, who I thought could, but would never hurt me, hurt me. You know what it is? It's a bitch slap to the face." He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes, blinking back the rest of the tears. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."
"Noah please" she whispered tearfully moving closely to him again. "I swear to you I didn't...I wasn't..." she huffed in frustration "I love you...please don't leave...please" she begged letting her tears fall freely now. Mercedes cringed; she could feel the tightness of her sadness in her chest and wrapped her arms around her stomach "Please...I didn't kiss him I swear to you. He kissed me and I pushed him away..."
"Don't lie to me. Do not lie to me." He balled his fist and turned punching the wall and putting a hole in it. "I watched you Mercedes. I watched you kiss this man back, the same way you kiss me. I feel like a rebound. Like I was just here as a place holder until you got what you really wanted."
"Oh my fucking gosh Noah, would you please stop. I'm sorry okay. I'm, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry. You're right, I did kiss him back, but I swear to you I didn't mean it. He kissed me first and it just kinda happened. As soon as it did, I pushed him away but I knew it was wrong. You have to believe me." she cried aloud, holding herself tighter feeling sick.
"No Mercedes, I don't. I don't have to believe you. And maybe if you would have just admitted it in the first place maybe we could have worked this out. Shit, if you wouldn't have kissed him in the first place then I wouldn't have to do this." he sighed shaking his head.
"Noah, please." she pleaded, tears streaming down her face. "Don't do this to me. I need you. I LOVE YOU." she rushed to his side, cupping his face as she kissed him.
His eyes stung with tears as some stained his cheeks while others fought to break free. He reached over her, grabbing the bag and headed for the door. "I..I gotta go. I need to clear my head. We can talk about this later." his voice was just above a whisper. He took a deep breath and headed out the room, down the stairs and out the door, his heart breaking more and more with every steep he took.
Mercedes followed closely behind but stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the front door slam. Tears poured and she was a mess again as she slid down against the door. Noah sat outside of the house lead up against the door in the same position. He sat there and silently cried until it began to rain. Only when he was sure he couldn't tell the difference between his tears and the rain drops did he get in his car and drive to his house. By the time he got home, his clothes were clinging to his body. He was wet down to his socks and his shoes made that squishing sound with every step he took.
Mercedes sat in the floor sobbing until she could gather enough energy to get up and get in the bed. She pulled one of the shirts Noah missed while he gathered his things free from her dresser and stripped from her clothes before pulling it over her head. She inhaled his scent that still lingered in the shirt and climbed into begs on the side she slept in hugging the pillow that he used close to her body. She cried as she replayed all the events from the day in her head. She cries because she was hurting. It was the first time she had slept alone since they started dating two years ago and she cried because she was sure that she had lost the man she had loved for the last 7 years for the rest of life.