Walking up the drive of Firehouse 51 was a feeling like no other, in fact it brought a smile to his face even on a day like today. Matthew Casey was trudging through the semi deep snow, his bag slung over his shoulder and his coat pulled as far up his neck as he could make it come. The nervous energy was making his heart pump faster than it needed to be, making him feel a little light headed. I need to calm myself down, he thought. The red garage doors where closed, supposedly to keep the warm air in, whether it worked or not was something that he couldn't answer. Casey looked down at his watch and sighed. It was four months till his deployment went through, then he'd be on an Army issued plane over to the conflict in Afghanistan. This meant that he had four months to get his nerve up to tell the woman he loved how he felt. However, making her a service mans girlfriend was something he didn't want to put upon her. Many times he'd try and talk himself out of going over seas but it never seemed to work. Just the thought of backing out of a mission and to be called a coward was something he never wanted to have held against his name. He was happy here at 51, being a firefighter was something he'd wanted to do since the earliest memories he'd had. After his father, Mark Casey, died in one of the biggest warehouse fires the city had every seen, he felt like as he was his only son, taking his place as the next fire fighter to join the CFD was his destiny. However, he couldn't have been more wrong. His life had taken him in a difficult and painful turn. He couldn't remember the last time he was truly happy. He'd been through a lot, that was the reason he'd taken such a long break from the Army was after the accident he was caught up in last time he was out in service. The sounds and the feelings still woke him up at night as he remembered the sounds of the shells flying through the air, and tremors that ran through the floor every time a bomb went off. He shuddered as he remembered when the car in front of him in the convoy blew up after a bomb was dropped. He lost a lot of men that day, this time was going to be different. This time he'd bring everyone home.
Walking into the warm fire house was a God sent in his opinion. The warmth of the heating instantly lightened his mood and the thought of doing the job he loved helped the stamina of that feeling. He walked through the common room, although it was mostly empty, apart from the few men left from first watch who where just finishing their coffees before they headed off, Casey was the first in. The thought of being late never really appealed to him, also it meant that he could get the majority of his paperwork done before shift had even started. When he reached his locker he spun in the code, pulled open the light metal door that had his name taped to the front, before he slid his bag on to the shelf. For the ten years that he had worked here, he'd had the same locker with the same pictures taped to the inside of the door. He took a seat on the bench behind him as he reminisced over the small snapshots of his past. He looked up and saw a group photo from the academy dinner seven years ago and laughed to himself. Otis was laying on the floor with one leg up laughing; Kelly a drink in his hand laughing and Boden with his arms round Casey and Severide's shoulders. Matt leaned up and taped it back up, just as he reached for the next one. He stood there for a second as he took the sight in. It was a picture of him and Gabby Dawson at the bar she, Otis and Herrmann owned down the street. Molly's was the hang out place for all the cops, firefighters and doctors from the area. A lot of memories where made there. The picture showed Casey standing with his arm around Gabby and her hand on his chest. The thought of her standing so close made his heart flutter. He remembered the first shift that 51 was opened. After the building of the house, the CFD wanted to move some more experienced firefighters to mix with some newbies and that's how 51 came about. Matt remembered standing at the front of the new commissioned fire truck, company 81, and the feeling of being a lieutenant slowly beginning to sink in. The thought of leading five men, or woman, into the uncertainty that was a burning building fuelled his need for adrenaline. After the sights of war, sitting behind a desk was his worst nightmare and so first responding was the only option he had left. He glanced back down at the picture again and his eyes couldn't help but lock onto her face, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. He remembered the feeling he had the first time he saw her, her brown curled hair being blown slightly in the spring sun. She was wearing the standard issue grey EMT t-shirt; black pants and the uniformed black boots with a brown rucksack slung over her shoulder. Ten years was a long time and he'd felt the same towards her for every single one of them, but still he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he really felt. This was truly the most important thing he had to do before he left for Afghanistan, whether he liked it or not.
It was eight thirty and the rest of his colleagues where beginning to enter the building, the locker room their first stop because of having to get changed. Casey's office was centered on the main hallway that lead to the locker room and so keeping track of who was here and who wasn't was a pretty easy job. Behind him, Lieutenant Kelly Severide was supposedly hard at work, rushing to get overdue run reports and checks done ready to be handed in to Boden at roll call. Casey put his pen down and walked towards the door, still looking though the glass that separated the two offices of the two lieutenants of the firehouse. He walked up and tapped his knuckle lightly against the thin glass making Kelly look up. He looked up and smiled before he gestured for his friend to enter the room. "Morning lieutenant." Kelly said now beginning to laugh as Casey rolled his eyes.
"Did you really just say that to me?" he asked as he leaned up against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Mmhmm, I did and what are ya gunna do about it?" Kelly asked, still messing around, as he turned back to his desk and begun scribbling words down into the boxes of the form.
"Look, I'm going into the common room to get a coffee before roll call, you want one?" he offered as he stared to turn and head towards the door.
"Nah, I'm ok thanks Matt. Just make sure that you keep the coffee in the cup next time Gabby walks past." he chuckled as he waited for his friend to react, and sure enough Matt did.
"That was a one time thing and she caught me off guard." Matt protested as he begun to walk away again.
"Yeah whatever, just make sure you tell her how you feel before you go. You can't keep something like that behind closed doors in a place like where you're going, it messes with your head and we want you to come back, remember that."
"It's top of my priority Kelly, trust me!" He called before he went round the doorway and into the brightly lit common room. To his surprise Christopher Herrmann, Mouch and Sylvie Brett where all sitting at the table either reading a paper or sitting on their phones. Must be a little eager today, Matt thought to himself with a little chuckle. When he got to the coffee machine he grabbed his usual mug and poured himself a healthy amount into it before heading back in the direction of his office. Well, that was what he'd planned to do before out of the corner of his eye he saw PIC Gabby Dawson walk through the door.Without meaning to, his body kind of slipped into a love induced stair as he leaned up against the counter and watched her walk right up to him. He watched her stop and look up, a confused look on her face although she was still smiling a little awkwardly at him.
"Everything ok lieutenant?" she asked with an uncomfortable laugh.
He took a sharp gasp as he realized that he was staring and coughed to cover his embarrassment. "Hi, errm yeah, I'm fine." he looked up at Herrmann, who was sniggering and shot him a glair. "Morning, was what I meant to say." he said a little to quickly as he returned his gaze back at her, Herrmann was still trying to cover his laugh with multiple coughs.
"Ahh ok." she laughed as she lifted her hand and pointed towards the door. "So I've got an ambo to check so I'm just gunna-" she said as she began walking towards the door, but before she got out of range she turned and shouted over her shoulder, "I'll see you later."
"Yeah!" he called after her, instantly feeling like an idiot. He looked up to Herrmann and sighed.
"You're going to have to tell her lieutenant." he reminded Casey as his boss walked past him.
"Yeah, I know!" he shouted as he walked past him, he could hear Herrmann laughing from out on the floor.
"Ok ladies and gentlemen I'd like to welcome all back to work," there was a murmur of laughs as chief paused. Before he carried on, he made eye contact with Casey - he knew what he meant. "You've all heard it from me plenty of times before but be careful out there, I don't want to be turning up at your family's doors, telling them that you're not coming home. We're gunna have a good shift, keep that in mind." Boden took a deep breath. "Now, lieutenant Casey would like to say a few words."
After getting the hint to gut up from his chair, where he was sat between Kelly and Herrmann, he made his way up to the front, turned and cleared his throat. "However hard it is for me to say this, it has to be said." his breath shook as he breathed in. "In four months I have been called back for duty. Yes, that does mean what you're all thinking, and as much as it pains me to tell you, I won't be lieutenant of 81 during the time I'm overseas of course but when I come back, if I come back I-"
"Don't say that." Gabby blurted out, locking eyes with Matt briefly before looking away a bit embarrassed. Everyone looked at her as the room fell silent. Suddenly she stood up, forcing her chair into the table behind her. "Matt I know that you where a soldier before you became a firefighter, but you have a family here, why throw it all away?" she exclaimed, sounding as if she was on the verge of crying.
Still standing up at the front of the room, all eyes where now on him. "I know that some of you may disagree with my choice but I don't have another option. I've been called for service whether I like it or not, and there's nothing I can do about it. I have had ten years out from the Army after the accident I was in but they want me back, they need me back." Matt stopped as he watched Gabby storm out of the briefing room and head towards the lockers. "I have four months till I go, it's not like I'm going tomorrow!" he exclaimed, mostly angry with the fact that he was unable to go after Gabby.
"Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, Battalion 25 - apartment fire. 137 and Maddison!" the klaxon screamed out.
Without missing a beat, the whole firehouse team headed in the direction of the floor. Just as Casey came out of the room behind the rest of the firefighters, Gabby appeared next to him as she changed into a light jog to catch up with her partner. "Gabby-" he started trying to choose his words carefully.
"Forget it, its your job. What can I do about it"? she said, her words hitting him hard as he watched the woman he loved disappear into the Ambulance.