Summary: An AU/AR story in which, instead of going to the Dursleys, Harry is taken by a strange woman. Warning: Story Features Manipulative!Dumbledore, Dark!Powerful!Harry, and Dumbledore and Weasley bashing.
Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, shape or form, own Harry Potter, except for the books on my shelf and movies in my collection. I do own my OC so don't try and steal her. :P
Key: blah emphasised, 'blah' thinking, "blah" talking, 'blah' parseltongue, blah animals, different languages, blah borrowed directly from the Harry potter books from J. K. Rowling
Arashi wandered through suburban London, enjoying a chocolate ice cream cone. It wasn't often she got time off, mostly she was kept busy making huge magical innovations, hiding from reporters and governments (Nobody likes doing taxes, and in her opinion, people who are legally dead shouldn't have to do them. The government disagrees.), and making sure stupid little dark lords didn't expose the magical world.
She didn't care much about the magical world in general, but seeing as the muggles would probably start yet another Inquisition, exposure could lead to problems for her. Also, if magical beings were eradicated, than magic would leave the world and she'd probably lose her powers.
She found a bench at a small park and sat down, watching the muggle children. After a while, the children started to leave, and she got tired of being watched and whispered about as a possible kidnapper. Arashi left the park and wandered around before she came to a small house with the Fidellius charm on it.
Curious, she manipulated the spell to allow her to see the people inside and walked up to the window. She looked in and immediately jumped back and cast a disillusionment charm so powerful she was actually invisible. Cautiously, she looked back in to see everyone at ease and surmised she was undetected.
Inside was that old bastard Dumblefuck and a small family consisting of a man with jet black hair, round glasses, brown eyes and an athletic build, a pretty woman with red hair, brilliant green eyes who was rather petite, and a small boy with dark brown hair and green eyes like his mothers. The two adults were both wearing robes, though the child was just wearing a nappy. The woman picked up her child and left the room, saying something about the baby needing a nap.
Once she was gone the old man suddenly got serious, "James, I think Voldemort may go after Sirius. You need a new secret Keeper."
James nodded, "We did that just a couple of minutes ago. We asked Remus but he said that because he was a werewolf, You Know Who was just as likely to go after him as Sirius, so we let Peter. He was awfully excited." Arashi saw the old man's eyes flash momentarily, but he smiled at James.
"That was a good choice. By the way, I was wondering if I could borrow your cloak for a while."James nodded, but looked confused.
Arashi frowned, why in the world would Dumblefuck need or want to borrow a cloak? He could buy all the cloaks he wanted and then some, he was so rich. When James brought out a silvery cloak Arashi's frown deepened. Dumblefuck could make himself invisible with a Disillusionment charm so why would he need an invisiblity cloak?
When the old man, left she followed him into the street and saw him take out the cloak and start muttering to himself. "Could it really be...?"
Arashi had to resist the urge to either strangle him or scream "BE WHAT!?" at him. 'Damn him and his mysterious voice...'
He apparated away, leaving Arashi frustrated, her curiosity and Dumblefuck annoying her to no end. She stood in the middle of the street for a few minutes, fuming, before deciding to go check out that family and see if she could get some information from them.
Just as she turned back to the house, a wave of magic washed over her as the charm fell. She ran back to the house to find it destroyed and a dark ghost-thing fleeing from it. She walked in, trying not to disturb anything and found the baby crying his eyes out with blood on his face.
She cancelled her Disillusionment Charm and knelt down in front of the destroyed crib. He stopped crying and looked at her curiously and Arashi was immediately overcome with emotion, picked him up and cuddled him, before brushing his hair of his forehead.
She cleaned off the blood, revealing a small lightning-bolt scar. Just then she heard a loud motorcycle coming. Arashi frowned and looked down at the child in her arms, "We're going to have to apparate out of here." When the motorcycle touched down 'outside' she disapparated.
The engine cut out and a large man, even compared to the motorcycle which was almost the size of a car, dismounted, his black eyes downcast in sorrow. It was because of this that he noticed footprints in the ashes of the house. He followed them to the now empty remains of the nursery.
His eyes widened in shock and fear and he mumbled, "Got ter tell Professor Dumbledore!" before rushing back to his borrowed vehicle.
At the same time, a tall thin old man had just appeared on the far corner of Privet Drive. He had white hair and a beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak which swept the ground and high-heeled buckled boots. his blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore, or as Arashi had referred to him earlier, Dumblefuck.
Most of the wizarding community outside of Britain called him by his nickname, which he had earned by attempting to manipulate people and break laws to better himself financially. This behaviour had made him unwelcome, if not gotten him banned, in most of the civilised world, and was part of the reason for the state of his nose.
(Excerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, from the third paragraph on page twelve to the end of paragraph seven on page sixteen must be inserted by the reader because I don't want to write three whole pages of someone else's work.)
"Hagrid,' said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At-"
"Professor! Harry's gone! Somebody took 'im!"
"Oh-.. er, Oh dear!" Dumbledore exclaimed, eyes flashing dangerously as McGonagall muttered, "He's better off than he'd ever be here."
"'S true! He wasn' in 'is crib an' there's footsteps on the groun'!" Dumbledore apparated to Godric's Hollow, quickly followed by McGonagall. Dumbledore spotted the small footprints to the nursery. As soon as he stepped in, the remains of the room glowed blue before the glow coalesced into two figures, one kneeling before the remains of the crib, and the other, much smaller, sitting in the crib crying.
The larger figure wore a black cloak which fell away from its arms as it picked the boy up and cuddled heard the roar of the motorcycle Hagrid rode, only it was very faint, almost inaudible.
The figure looked down at baby Harry and said, "We'regoing to have to apparate out of here."
The figure turned towards Dumbledore, whose eyes glittered dangerously. It was a young woman, about twenty, with dark brown hair that tumbled down in front of her face to her waist.
She looked up and smiled at him, her dark green eyes sparking with anger. "Ah, Dumblefuck." It said, causing McGonagall to gasp, "I knew you'd show up sooner or later. I know you're planning something, and to that I say too fucking bad. Sit and spin, old man."
She flipped him off and held the baby closer to her ample chest. "I'm sure that whatever your plan is, it involves this kid ending up thinking you are a nice, grandfatherly figure. Probably putting it with some family that would hate him and coming to 'rescue' him. So instead, I'm taking this cute little kid and raising him as my own. Don't bother trying to find me, you know that doesn't work. You should remember what happened last time, I believe you got a rather nasty scar. Anyways, me 'n my new son are going to go live happily ever after, and I probably have already taken his father's cloak from your office, it's his now anyway. So goodbye, and good riddance."
She turned to go, then spun back around. "By the way, could you please ammend that statement you made about meeting me several years ago? You used the wrong name and now I'm being pestered by several governments. It would be better for you if you did."
With that she apparated soundlessly and the blue glow faded back into the walls. Dumbledore was trembling in rage as he watched the show, and had to take several breaths to calm himself.
McGonagall looked at him sharply when she noticed, and he turned to her with a sad look that she knew was fake. "It seems that Harry will never be seeing the inside of Hogwarts. Though he will be growing up away from fame, I cannot, in good conscience say that he will be safe." He sighed heavily and disapparated.
McGonagall smiled, sure, she may not see her only surviving relative, but he would definitely be better off.
AN: I edited this so it's more readable, and I will be writing the next actual chapter soon, and when I do I will remove the AN Chapter. If I've missed anything, like spelling errors or forgotten spaces, please tell me.