This one goes out to my homies! Chan-face, Chlo, Schraps, BecMan, Kelz, Megz, Cool-cat-kuini, Jadey, Bibi, Danni, Saggy, Daisy, Alex, Zara and all those twilight peeps out-there.
Chapter 1- Edward POV
"I think you have a right to know…"
Rosalie hesitated before continuing and my cautious suspense was growing. "…Edward, Bella's … She… She's dead Edward."
There was a long pause.
Rosalie was making no sense. No, no Bella isn't dead. She can't be. Rosalie was just trying to hurt me, just like she always does. My more rational side told me to apologize for even thinking that but I couldn't find the strength or the will to move my lips.
"Edward?…Edward, did you hear me? She jumped off a cliff, she committed suicide. She's gone. I'm…sorry, But you can come back to us now, it's ov…" Rosalie's voice became quieter, until she cut out completely, and I then realized I'd dropped the phone. I was speechless. There were no words. An aching pain slowly crepted its way from my heart throughout my body as belief set in. No. No I wouldn't give Rosalie the power and satisfaction of my pain. Bella had promised me, she promised she wouldn't do anything reckless, Nothing stupid! And I trust Bella's word.
But why would Rosalie say she jumped off a cliff, why would she be so specific. What if… I winced at just the possibility. The agony of the mere thought - that my beautiful angel was no longer breathing – was so hard it make me gasp. That was it, I had to know the truth.
And so I did the one thing I swore I would never do again. I picked up the silver mobile and dialed the one phone number that I could never forget. The number that always brought a smile to my face when I heard her answer, I rang the Swans.
I had to expose Rosalie's lie for what it was, cruel and false. Sister or not, there would be no friendship between us after this vengeful prank. Dialing the number felt foreign, as I hadn't called anyone in six months. I had answered Carlisle's calls incase he needed me but had not called any of my family. This number especially I hadn't dialed since I left and now the reason that made me call her was finding out if she was dead…Rose was going to pay.
I dialed the last digit and waited for the connection. A husky boy's voice answered after just one ring, so he hadn't been far from the phone.
"Swan Residence…" The voice sounded irritated, like I'd rudely interrupted something.
"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, I'd like to speak to Charlie, is he home?" I asked politely, perfectly imitating my father's voice and tone.
"He's not here" The voiced replied, I noticed the acid in his tone and surprisingly he sounded angry. The words he spoke were almost an indignant bark, but his attitude had no significance, I just wanted to get what information I needed.
"Then where is he?!" I asked, exasperated. What was this boy's problem?
Then was a short pause on the other end of the line.
"He's at the funeral," The boy said reluctantly, and that was it.
I shut off my phone.
I couldn't breathe, it felt like a huge boulder had fallen on my chest and I was slowly suffocating with the intensity of its weight.
"Bella no, Bella, Bella no…" I whimpered, crying tearless sobs. I hugged my knees closer and cradled myself, bowing my head. I knew I couldn't ignore this pain.
How could she have done this to herself. She promised me! How could she have done this to me ? Why would she do it? Was she… Oh no,no, no. My mind was turning against me. It gave me the real reason what could have made her… jump, just like if our roles were reversed. It was my fault. The slow torture of that concept sunk in.
In my own attempt to keep her alive, I … I … Killed her. Ugh! I'm a pathetic excuse for a person, for a vampire. A waste. I've hurt the one thing I felt bound to protect and now she's gone…gone
She was the most beautiful, delicate and meaningful thing in my world. She was my only hope, the only thing in this miserable world that was worth living for and now, without her… I had nothing to live for. She was my reason for everything.
I had no reason.
I was numb, I couldn't move, I could only think.
My life was flashing before my eyes, no not my life, but my life with her. I let my eyes slide shut and the scattered images of my only love behind them, dance in front of me. My mind had stored her in perfect condition, I saw her. Her always so tempting blood flush up to meet her skin when I would touch her. I saw her beautiful brown eyes; the depth of them always took me by surprise. The doors into her soul, I quoted. And I remembered how they looked when she gazed at me, always so full of love and wonder. Her warmth; the feeling of her feverish hands on just one of my cold marble ones. That feeling was truly indescribable. When she would murmur sweet nothings in her sleep, the true vulnerability of her saying what she felt inside I love you, Edward. The quiet sound of her increased heartbeat when I would kiss her…
All these flashbacks of Bella were like sandpaper against my heart, each vision opened a tender gap inside me and pierced me with pain.
But the last vision was the one I would treasure forever. We were back in the meadow, our meadow. The day I told her how I felt, the day I pledged myself to her and the day my real life began when she confessed to me her feelings. She traced her warm hands over my skin, amazed and amused by the sparkle. Her angel face in the sun, her beautiful hair illuminated by its rays. And then our first kiss, when I finally conquered the monster within me.
All the most memorable times in my long pathetic life were spent with the meaning of my existence…my Bella. Her name had been tattooed in my mind ever since I left…I left, how could I have been so stupid, so foolish, so absurd. If nothing else got me into hell, the reality of the catastrophic mistake I had made sure would have.
If I could cry actual tears, I would have started as soon as I left Bella, but this pain was different. To cry wouldn't have been enough. I had forever lost the one thing I desperately loved the one thing I needed. There was nothing else that could fill the hole inside of me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to kill, and I wanted someone to experience what I was feeling, for him or her to lose what I had lost. But I couldn't move. I was like a statue, I wanted to move but my bones and muscles would work.
And the worse part of this pain was, I never told her everything I felt for her. She…died thinking I didn't want her, I didn't love her. The most ridiculous concept that I gave her when I told her goodbye. Remorse was a mild emotion compared to what I was feeling.
She was my world, she was my life. She gave my life meaning and gave me something to live for and to look forward to. Love wasn't a strong enough word for how I felt.
It was at this moment my thoughts roamed to Romeo and Juliet.
Before I met Bella, I really couldn't see how love could force that kind of reaction out of someone…now that I had experienced - there were no words to express the anguish – I knew how Romeo felt when he thought he had lost her. Only…I had lost her.
She had gone to the one place I could not follow, but I would not linger here and continue this worthless existence. I couldn't live in a world where she was no more. The pain of this still ached through my every thought. I felt so helpless, but I knew what I would now do, I knew the one thing that would give me peace.
Dum Dum Dummm?? I won't insult your intelligence, you know what will happen in the next chapter, OR DO YOU?
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