Sea of Voices
I don't want to sound like a depressed person but sometimes I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.
Bill has been, for the past few years, a very helpful research assistant, but beyond him being a valuable benefactor for my research he's been a great and supportive friend and probably the only entity to ever understand me.
I wonder what Bill has in store for today's dream. Are we to work on the portal? Will we sit down and play interdimensional chess? There is only one way to find out.
I went down to my quarters and got ready to meditate. Fiddleford isn't coming over today, he's busy courting his own girl. I shrug. Good luck to him, I guess. I'm not really a fan of romance. Besides, it's not like any girl would show interest in me, not when I have…
I look at my hands and heave a sigh. I wonder a lot how things would've gone if I didn't have my excess fingers. Maybe Stan and I wouldn't have fought. Maybe I could've had more friends.
I shake my head. I'm not supposed to think like this. If I wasn't weird, then I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have learned all the things that I know now. I wouldn't have seen all these magical, wonderful creatures of Gravity Falls. If I wasn't weird, then I wouldn't have met Bill. And Bill is worth more than any friend I have ever had.
I take a match out of its box and quickly stroke the end, lighting up a fire. I light three candles before putting out the flame on the match. Taking the triangular, crystal prisms on my desk, I smile as I place it on the ground around my meditation mat.
Personally, I like to light up incense whenever I meditate but I frequently refrain from doing so whenever McGucket is around. Luckily, he isn't. So incense it is!
When everything is set, I settle on the mat. With a deep breath and closed eyes, I concentrate on emptying my mind.
"Heyya Sixer!"
I smile upon hearing his voice and I quickly open my eyes. I am back in the dreamscape, floating in the middle of the vastness of space filled with stars shining in different colours and magnitudes. Colourful galaxies scattered in all dimensions. At times, there would be a quick line tracing the space, a shooting star.
I turn around and there he is, my triangular friend.
"Hello, Bill," I greet in return, a grin on my face. I take a seat on one of the floating, luxurious couches. "So what's in for us today?"
"Well, since the portal is almost up and working," Bill muses, scratching the bottom of his eyelid thoughtfully, "I thought that maybe we could ditch working on the project and just sit back, relax, and chill."
"Hmm." Relaxation sounds nice. I've been so focused on completing the portal that I actually sometimes forget that I'm tired. I really haven't been taking care of myself that much. If Bill wasn't around to remind me to go eat or sleep I probably would have gotten sick.
Bill hands me a cup of tea. I gratefully take it and take a sip. It's mint green tea with honey, my favourite. Bill claps his hand twice and the next thing I know is that we are sitting on top of the UFO that had crash landed here thousands of years ago, overlooking the valley of Gravity Falls. The sun was setting behind the distant mountains. There is a thin mirage-like mist that hangs over the feet of the valley, a variety of pastel shades in colour. I've always appreciated the sun slowly sinking behind the horizon, casting a pale warm hue over the small town, but Bill's projection of the twilight is far more… encaptivating. The triangle leans back on the chair and procures his own cup of tea.
Tranquility sets between us and I'm left to my thoughts once again. I really love sunsets but this particular one is starting to wrench my heart. I used to sit on the swings with Stan and we'd watch the sun disappear behind the sea. We would talk a lot about our day even though we spend most of it together. I miss him. He was the only one who stayed when everyone left. He was one of the rare people who didn't care that I was different. I…
"I couldn't help but overhear your thoughts, but," Bill says, breaking the silence, "are you still seriously upset that you're born with that anomaly of yours?"
I look down. "Yes," I tell him quietly, "I'm still sort of ashamed of who I am." I grasp the cup a bit tighter, keeping myself from reminiscing all those times I was made fun of, shunned by people. But memories flood back and it just reminds me that I'm an outcast of society, that I will never be truly a part of them, that I will never truly belong. "I didn't ask to be have six fingers. I didn't want this. Why would they detest me for being different? It's not like I have a choice."
Bill cracks up and laughs hysterically. "Oh, man, Sixer, that's the dumbest thing you could ever be upset about." I give him a questioning look, taken aback. Bill crosses his legs and gulps down his tea, which was quickly refilled in seconds. Bill looks at me with a grin which quickly fades away when he notices that I'm frowning.
"What?" He asks, getting up from his seat and floating in front of me. "It's true. You're worrying too much about thing that you don't need to even care about!"
He closes his eyes and raises both of his hands.
To my surprise, the sky warps and slowly glitches. It colours melt together and, as if someone is editing a photo, the saturation went up that the colours are brightly colliding at each other. It is a harsh mix of purple, pink, yellow, orange, and blue-green. It is ever-changing and for some reason it vaguely reminds me of the Mandelbrot set zooming in.
It is beauty I've never seen before. The phantasmagorical scene was so enthralling that it's almost like it's from another dimension.
"I wanted to show you this sunset - a sky of cascading colours," Bill waves his hand over the scenery and the sky drastically changes colour. "Mandelbrot rainbows stretching as far as you can think it could go, a kaleidoscope of normal and things beyond normal.
"I know for most of your life, Stanford, you've been brought down by the people around you for being weird." Bill gesticulates at my hand, indicating my six fingers. "It's irrational to think that everything is rational! But what is weirdness to begin with, hm? Normal is just a term people use to describe everything that statistically re-occurs most often. Normal is just a term they use to describe the things they understand, or things they only approve of. Anything beyond that is abruptly shunned by society.
"Weirdness, anomalies, abnormalities, all of them are normal too. It occurs and people can't tell you otherwise. Sadly, it just doesn't happen enough for people to believe in.
"In all honesty, your so-called societal restrictions are pathetic. Rules are pathetic. They dictate how things work, but for what reason? Because it's for the greater good? Or is it because of selfishness, because the powerful ones benefit from it? They use it to control all of you, to brainwash you into thinking that there's something to gain by being an obedient puppet. Laws, protocols, I don't care about them. They limit the potential anyone and everyone has." He turns to me, "And that includes you Stanford. You're not living up to your full potential yet."
There is a brief pause as Bill takes a sip from his cup of tea. "Look at your hands stanford." He tells me. "Look at them and be proud of it. This is what makes you who you are. Don't let what anyone says bring you down. Just because you're different doesn't mean you're defective or worthless. In fact, be proud that you're weird. It frees you from the dull, limited human understanding brought to you by being in this pathetic world.
"I want to help you Stanford. I mean it when I said that when we make this Portal, it'll open up a new era for knowledge. All of you humans will be set free from everything holding you back."
"But what about you Bill?" I ask curiously. "How do you benefit from this?"
"Me? Well," Bill laughs, "Since you've proven yourself as a trustworthy companion," my heart skips a beat. Compliments from Bill is very rare and him saying that, it makes me proud of all my hardwork and loyalty. He grins at me, "When the portal is complete, I, too, will liberate my dimension."
A moment of silence passes between the two of us. I sit there and reflect on a lot of the things he had just said. It… opened my mind. I don't need everyone's approval to be who I am, to do what I want to do, to be whatever I dream to be. Maybe when our two worlds become one, everyone will be on equal grounds and, who knows, I might befriend new creatures. And maybe, for once I won't be alone.
"Hey, Sixer," Bill says, interrupting my train of thought. "If it makes you feel any better, you were never alone. I was always watching." He gives me a grin then blinks his eye in attempts of winking. I smile.
For the first time, I feel peacefully happy, droning in deep relaxation, adoring the neverending twilight. Encompassed, I silently wish to never wake up from this dream.