Disclaimer: The Rat Patrol is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.

Water Wars

By Suzie2b

It started out like every other day had over the past two weeks. Up before dawn, breakfast … then hang around and wait for an assignment. Troy knew it was dangerous to allow too much free time when it came to his privates, especially when Hitch was between girlfriends and Tully's wife was out on a mission, but it couldn't be helped. Captain Boggs wanted the unit to be ready and available to leave when the word came through that the enemy to the west was on the move again.

The day the order came down Troy laid down the law to his men. "I want you to stay available. No leaving the base. I want to know where you are so you can be sent for at a moment's notice." He looked pointedly at Hitch. "And that means sleeping in your own quarters … alone." The private's face reddened slightly and Troy continued, "No fighting. No alcohol. Stay out of trouble. Got it?"

Hitch and Tully both nodded and Hitch said, "Got it, sarge."

Moffitt had stood there smiling at their somewhat sullen expressions and hoped it wouldn't be too long before they were given their mission.

##################

The first few days went fine. Tully stayed busy working on the jeeps, playing baseball, or staying home reading the newspapers his mother sent. Hitch stayed in his quarters or helped Tully with the jeeps, and joined in a baseball game or played horseshoes. They made sure Troy and/or Moffitt knew where they were.

Day four saw boredom start to set in. By the fifth day the practical jokes started.

Hitch waited patiently for Tully. He had stationed himself across the street, on the roof of a building Tully would have to pass to go to mail call. He nearly laughed out loud when he saw Tully leave the mess hall after lunch and started across the street. Hitch stayed down out of sight until just the right moment, then he emptied a canvas bag over the edge of the roof.

Twenty-five water filled condoms exploded as they hit Tully and the pavement around him. Startled, he just stood there, dripping wet, while people around him laughed uproariously. Tully finally looked up to see Hitch looking back with a cheshire cat grin. As he started for home, Tully vowed to get even.

The next day at breakfast Tully laughed and said good-naturedly, "Yeah, you got me good yesterday." Still smiling, he said, "I'm going to the market this afternoon. Why don't you come by the apartment at about one o'clock and join me?"

Hitch asked, "What are you going to the market for?"

"I heard that Badia has a fresh crop of magaria fruit in."

"You mean those brown things that are the size of cherries?"

Tully nodded. "Charley loves 'em."

Hitch thought for a second, then shrugged. "Sure, why not. I don't have anything else to do."

Just before 1pm Hitch took the stairs two at a time that led to the small apartment where Tully and Charley lived. He stepped through the door into the hallway and stopped when he saw Tully sitting on a chair at the other end in front of the apartment's open door.

Hitch noticed that Tully was holding the end of a rope. He followed the rope that led to a small shelf above the door. By the time Hitch realized he'd been had, a bucket of water splashed down over him.

A grin spread across Tully's face as he said, "Still want to go to the market?"

##################

Technically they were even, but that wasn't good enough. When they weren't together, they were stalking each other with water-filled condoms. Hitch and Tully walked around base in damp clothes for the next few days.

And then it happened…

With the war apparently on hold for the time being while the German army to the west decided what they wanted to do, Major Gleason decided it was a good time to do some repairs to one of the water towers that had started to leak.

Tanker trucks lined up and the tower was drained. Bored, Hitch and Tully watched as the water was pumped into the trucks and parked on the side streets.

After that, the privates decided to go see if anyone was playing horseshoes, or baseball, or anything else that might be entertaining.

##################

Major Gleason left his quarters in a clean and freshly pressed uniform. He had a meeting with a visiting general and wanted to look his best. He noticed with satisfaction that the repairs would soon be underway as he passed the streets where the tanker trucks were parked. As he approached one of the side streets, he first noticed the crowd, then a river of water. Thinking that one of the trucks had sprung a leak, the major hurried to see what was happening.

Major Gleason pushed through to the front of the crowd just as a stream of water hit him in the chest, soaking him and much of the crowd.

##################

Sergeants Troy and Moffitt had been summoned to Captain Boggs' office. Thinking they were finally going to get an assignment, they hurried to headquarters.

What they found was an angry major toweling off the wet uniform he wore, his jacket dripping from the back of a chair, and Hitch and Tully standing to one side in puddles of water.

After saluting their superiors, Troy went on the attack. "What did you two do?"

Hitch and Tully looked at each other hoping the other would speak first. Finally, Captain Boggs said, "Apparently there was a water fight and Major Gleason got caught in the middle."

Moffitt said softly, "Oh dear."

Troy looked at his men and growled, "A water fight?"

Major Gleason said angrily, "I realize, sergeant, that it's hard to be cooped up on base waiting to be assigned a mission … but I thought you would be able to keep your men under control!"

Troy continued to glare at Hitch and Tully, who were staring at their feet. "I thought so too, general. I'm very sorry about this."

"I don't think throwing them in the stockade would accomplish anything, but I do want them punished!" Major Gleason took his wet jacket off the chair and folded it over his arm. "Now, I'm late for a meeting." He frowned at Captain Boggs and said, "They're your responsibility! Do something!"

After the office door slammed shut, the captain sighed as he looked at the two privates. "What were you thinking? Not only did you waste water, you soaked the major just before an important meeting with General Stevenson."

Hitch and Tully both looked at the captain guiltily and quietly said in unison, "Sorry, sir." Then Hitch said, "Pettigrew and I have been having a running water fight for a few days now. I guess it got out of hand, sir."

Captain Boggs said, "I guess it did. Other than the hoses on that water truck, what were you using for this 'running water fight'?"

Hitch replied, "Water balloons, sir."

"And where, out here in the desert, did you find balloons?"

Tully said, "Well, they weren't exactly balloons, sir."

Troy growled, "Then what were they?"

"Umm … condoms."

"You used…"

Hitch said quickly, "It started when I dumped a bag full of them on Tully from a roof."

Tully added, "Then I got even by dumping a bucket of water on Hitch from over a door as he walked in. From there we started stalking each other and..."

Captain Boggs interrupted, "I think I've heard enough." He looked at Troy. "They're your men. I'm going to let you handle this."

Troy nodded. "Yes, sir. I'll take care of it."

Moffitt, who had stood by quietly trying to hide a smile, said, "If I may, sir. I have a suggestion."

Boggs asked, "And what would that be?"

"Make the punishment fit the crime."

##################

The next morning, bright and early, Hitch and Tully were helping the crew with the repairs on the water tower.

Troy and Moffitt stopped by at midmorning to check on the progress. Troy grinned as he said, "That was a good idea you had."

Moffitt smiled. "Thanks. This should keep them busy for a few days anyway. And they'll be too tired at the end of the day to cause trouble."

Then they heard a familiar voice say, "Hi, guys."

They turned as Charley stopped next to them. Moffitt said, "Just get back?"

Charley nodded. "Yep. Going to headquarters to sign in." She looked at the water tower. "Finally fixing it I see. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

Troy chuckled as he took her arm. "Moffitt and I will walk you over to headquarters and tell you all about it."

They arrived at headquarters a few minutes later. As Moffitt opened the door, Charley stopped and looked at both sergeants incredulously as she said, "They used what as water balloons?"