Author's Note:

I do not own anything relating to Marvel.

This is just one shot for fun.

Rated K

A Very Tony Christmas

All Agent Phillip Coulson wanted was some peace, quiet, and a shot of whiskey to warm his bones. They had been called to a small town in Vermont where the snow was acting weird. Patches had started glow green where it was attacking people and turning them into living popsicles.

It took a few days and few more victims to discover that source was a pair of blasters the Chitauri used in the Battle of New York that a couple teenagers thought they could use instead of shovels in their in their snow-plow business. Melinda May had several creative ideas (she really didn't like the snow) for what to do with them but since Fitz and Simmons were able to reverse all the damage, Coulson decided to leave it to the local authorities. He had a feeling there were hundreds of hours of community service in their future.

Unfortunately he found none other than Tony Stark sitting behind his desk. He was examining one of his model cars. "This was one of my dad's miniature prototypes and a nice one too. He always dreamed of flying cars. If he wasn't so busy being Cap Man's mechanic he might have gotten closer to making it real."

"What are you doing here Stark?" Coulson said too tired, and too shocked to come up with anything else.

"What no 'good to see you too Tony?'" he responded in mock outrage. "No 'sorry SHIELD made you think I was dead to fit into Fury's little game.'"

He sighed. "That was Fury's idea. What do you want with me Stark?"

Stark's tone softened. "You really don't think I came here just to say hi?"

"My team is down there."

"I believe they are all currently occupied by the early Christmas present I delivered anonymously. It's a Clue-like game with a mix of CSI and includes holographic projections. The geeky girl is suggesting the hacker girl poisoned the meat head at my favorite restaurant in Venice."

Coulson figured Stark was intent on leaving on his own terms so he went and grabbed his bottle of whiskey and started to pour a glass. "Do the other Avengers know?"

"I figured it wouldn't be worth the trouble to tell them. Fury doesn't scare me so much as what he could do to my business and I sincerely hope you have a good reason for lying low," he said breezily. "Though frankly I'm insulted, I have satellites across the world, you guys use some of my tech, and you really think your silly level system could keep me out?"

Coulson took a sip. "Apparently so," he said and then another thought occurred to him. Stark was capable of almost anything. "Did you find out how I survived?" he asked trying not to let the desperation seep into his voice.

Stark spun the car on his fingertips as he shook his head. "I actually found a virus where the file should have been, a nasty one too. If I entered one more line of code the little monster could have shut down the power to Stark Tower."

This stunned Coulson. What had happened to him to create such high security protocols?

Stark seemed to read his thoughts. "If I had to guess honestly I don't think the file is on any computer. The data indicating you're alive is in the system, but the file on how is probably buried deep like Fury's porn stash."

Coulson couldn't help but laugh. He laughed because Tony Stark was in his office. He laughed because Stark was being Stark.

This made Stark smile. "You know you have decent team down there. You guys get to handle all the little things that keep trying to take over the world while I'm trying to have a nice meal with Pepper."

"That is quite a compliment coming from you Stark."

"That reminds me," he said dropping the car on the desk and pulling something out of his jeans pocket. It looked like a handheld recorder. "I promised no more secrets to Pepper so she knows you're alive and she's not telling anyone. But she knows me and asked that if I ever plan on visiting you that I give you a message from her."

Coulson walked to the desk and Stark pressed a button. A holographic projection of Pepper Potts in a white business suite appeared. Her face was lit up with a smile as she spoke:

"Hi Phil, I'm so glad you're alive. I'm sorry I won't be seeing you anytime soon. I don't think I ever thanked you for there when the whole Iron Man business started. I hope where ever you are, you are valued for being the amazing man you are," she said and a tear leaked down her face. "Good luck and please stay safe. Tony rarely listens to me when I say that but I hope you will. Please try." She blew him a kiss and the projection ended.

Stark glared at the recorder. "I have been working on 'staying safe' thing. I promised I wouldn't test my aqua armor prototype in the ocean until summer."

Coulson was starting to feel warm on the inside and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. Tony was special. A special friend who often hid his kindness under arrogance showmanship because that is all he knew. It looked like Pepper was trying to change that though.

"Thank you Tony," he said holding out his hand, "I really appreciate it."

Tony shook it. "You're welcome and listen if you ever need help I modified that model car so that if you press the bottom it will send a distress signal directly to my location and I'll have your coordinates in five seconds."

"Didn't anyone tell you not to mess with other people's things?" he said with a grin.

"I have very selective hearing," he said and spun around. "Now I better leave the way I came in. I think someone is going to invite you to come and play. I bet the ninja chick is suggesting that the boy genius was killed by the meat head with a crow bar on one of my favorite Greek islands."

"As long as no one suggests that Loki stabbed me with a staff on the SHIELD Helicarrier I'm up for the game."

"That is not programmed into the game."

Stark opened a panel in his office he didn't know could be opened. "Good luck Phil," he said.

"Merry Christmas Tony," Coulson said quietly as his friend vanished and there was knocking on his door.