Acquaintances

Ianto flitted around the Hub fixing the cusions around the breakroom and cleaning up garbage that littered the floor. Just the start of another day, he sighed as he cleared Gwen and Tosh's coffee mugs from their respective workplaces. He checked the clock. It would be well over half-an-hour before anyone got in and Jack was out getting an early breakfast.

"Ianto." Ianto near leapt out of his skin at Jack's unannounced entrance.

"I didn't hear you come in." Ianto chuckled sheepishly at his own fluster.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Jack smiled him.

"Is there something I can do for you, Sir?" Ianto asked, fidgeting, unsure of what to do with all the garbage he was holding.

"I can think of a few things." Jack smirked at him, making a show of looking him up and down.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Not what I meant." Jack picked up an empty take-out bag and held it out for him. "Thank you."

"Um, actually, there was a favor I was hoping to ask of you..." Jack's expression turned grim.

Ianto stuffed yesterday's sandwich wrappings into the take-out bag, now mentally labelled 'garbage bag'. "What is it?" He grimaced in displeasure as he scraped Owen's dried-up gum off his fingertips.

"I need to find something in the archives..." Ianto quickly schooled his features into an unreadable expression.

"And you need my help to find it." Jack nodded in defeat.

He folded his hands together in a begging motion. "Please, Ianto?"

Ianto levelled a look at him. "You know, if you just learned how to archive things correctly, you wouldn't have to call me in all the time." Jack pouted behind his still folded hands and Ianto found himself relenting easily. "Alright."

Jack's face lit up. "Jones, Ianto Jones! You are an angel in a poor disguise."

Ianto snapped his fingers in mock disappointment. "And here I thought I was fooling everybody." Jack smiled a little and watched him with that piercing look that screamed that he was trying to figure out something about the mystery that was Ianto Jones. Ianto shuffled a bit under his gaze. "What is it?"

Jack shook his head. "It's nothing." Ianto narrowed his eyes at Jack but shrugged his shoulders anyway.

Jack motioned for Ianto to lead the way and followed him down to the main archives. "It never fails to amaze me, how much stuff there is here." He commented, head swiveling around, taking in the rows of case reports and locked up artifacts.

"Oh, please," Ianto laughed, shaking his head. "you act like you've never been in here before."

"Course I've been here, it's just..." Jack tore his gaze away from a grotesque alien mask to see Ianto poised with his gun aimed at his forehead.

"Who are you, what are your objectives, and what have you done with the real Jack Harkness?" Ianto demanded coldly, eyes narrowed in concentration.

Jack held up his hands in defense. "Woah! Woah! Easy, Yan!" he exclaimed, eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected situation. "What's going on?"

"Jack wouldn't follow me into the archives. He never comes in since that time he made a mess of the artifacts. There is an unspoken rule that says I'm the only one who is allowed to come in here. You wouldn't know that because you're not a Torchwood member. I will ask you again. Where. Is. Jack?" Ianto demanded again.

"Ianto, I'm right here!" Jack gestured wildly to himself. "Jack Harkness, hello!"

"Don't all shape-shifting aliens say that, Jack?" Ianto merely raised his eyebrow, aim unwavering.

"Aw, alright! You got me!" Ianto blinked and instinctively took a step backward as Jack's face morphed into very different features and his accent was now decidedly British. The man held out his hand to shake. "Eames. Nice to meet you."

Ianto made no move to take the hand extended toward him. "Sorry, I wish I could say the same."

Eames retracted his hand awkwardly. "Okay, is this the part where you demand I tell you what I'm doing here?" he asked.

"Please, by all means, sing like a lark." Ianto smiled sweetly, still aiming his gun between Eames's eyes.

"Well, in all honestly, this is all Jack's bloody fault." Eames began.

"Isn't it always?" Ianto cut in cynically.

"Well, he approached Cobb and the team to..." And suddenly he was gone.

Ianto jumped at the sudden disappearing act and spun around in a circle, listening carefully for any noise.

But there was nothing.

He heard voices murmuring somewhere that sounded deep underwater, he stirred. "Eames, I warned you this mark was sharp!" Ianto groaned and blinked his eyes open owlishly at the two men standing over him.

When his vision cleared, he couldn't believe his eyes. "Arthur?" he rasped, fisting his eyes groggily, a motion that only succeeded in making him look like a small boy.

"Ianto." Arthur grinned in greeting. "How're you feeling?" he asked, ignoring the way Eames was gaping at them both.

"Surprisingly well rested, thank you." Ianto swung his legs over the side of the reclining chair he was lying on and sat up. Then he looked up at Eames. "What was that you were saying about Jack approaching Cobb and the team?"

Now Arthur was glaring daggers at Eames. Eames backed away a few steps, hands held up in surrender. "He found out, okay! I had to tell him something before he went and blew my head off!"

That was the moment that Jack walked through the door followed by the rest of the Torchwood team and a few strangers. "How did it go?" Jack asked.

"Marvellous!" Eames exclaimed, rolling his eyes with a huff. "Arthur told me he was a pencil pusher, but your teaboy, here, pulled a gun on me just two minutes into the dream!" He turned to level an accusing look at Arthur. "And that's not the worst of it! How does he know you?" he demanded.

Jack's eyes widened at Ianto. "You know him?"

Ianto and Arthur exchanged glances. "I'm the pointman." Arthur said in the exact moment that Ianto uttered. "I'm the archivist." They grinned at their respective teams and said, in unison, "I know everything."

"Oh God." Owen gasped. "There's two Iantos!"

"But, in reality," Arthur nodded his head in Ianto's direction. "our information sources tend to overlap. It wasn't long before we became aquainted."

"I assume this has something to do with your dreamsharing job?" Ianto raised his eyebrow challengingly. "I thought you were supposed to be an accountant?"

Arthur snorted back. "You're very knowledgeable... for an aspiring journalist." They smiled indulgently at each other.

"Okay, weird levels rising fast." Gwen whispered to Ariadne.

"I'll say." Ariadne nodded slowly.

"So, let me guess." Ianto rolled his eyes at Arthur. "Jack called you in for a run at dreamsharing to keep us on our toes because of the lack of Rift movement."

"In other words, he was bored." Eames crossed his arms. "But I'll have to say, this has indeed been an interesting experience." he leered at Jack, who just smirked back silently.

"Past conquests?" Tosh asked, looking from Eames to Jack.

"But which was conquered, and which was the conquerer?" Jack winked back.

Arthur leaned toward Ianto and lowered his voice. "Give them five minutes together and one of them will propose an orgy, I tell you."

"One." Ianto corrected, equally as quietly, watching the glint in Jack's eye.

"It's not going to happen." Arthur nodded firmly to himself.

"Never." Ianto agreed immediately.

"That's what you think." Eames wagged his eyebrows at the two as Jack busied himself with sending everybody back home.

"See you later!" Ariadne sing-songed at them gleefully over her shoulder.

"And don't leave out the juicy details!" Owen teased before he scampered off.

"Oh, for God's sakes!" Yusuf yelped and fled, tearing out of the building.

"You four have fun!" Gwen called back. "Arthur, Ianto, play nice." And everybody else filed out.

"No Jack, not happening." Ianto persisted. "Not in a million years... and I mean it literally."

"But Yan...!"

"In. Your. Dreams." Arthur growled.

"Gladly, darling."

The End