Starts a bit sad, but those who know me and my stories by now should not be worried! No Ari in this one... sorry. But I finally found a good opportunity to put T in it!
Sonny's POV
Christmas morning 2013
With a hiss I drop the hot oven plate, and instinctively I look at the closed bedroom door, hoping I did not wake Will. It remains silent, so I return my attention to the croissants I just took out of the oven. Moments later I have a perfect breakfast displayed on a tray, including a rose, a small Christmas present in the shape of a jewellery box, and even homemade jam. I take a deep breath and then I walk into the bedroom, reminding myself again and again that our relationship is ready for the next step and of course he is going to say yes.
(...)
New years eve 2013
I smile at my mum when she hands me a glass of wine, but my heart isn't in it. This year's holidays were supposed to be perfect, and I was supposed to be happy and cheery. My dad tries to engage me in the conversation he and uncle Vic are having, but I smile apologetically and just turn to a silent corner of the room. My mum sits down next to me and says:
"Honey, are you sure you don't want to tell me what happened?"
I shake my head and answer:
"No mum, there is nothing more to say..."
"OK honey... but if you do want to talk you know where to find me..."
Even though she means well, and she is being really sweet, I know I won't take her up on that offer. I stand up and say to no-one in particular:
"I'm just going to take a walk."
I grab my coat and walk out of the front door, and then I hear a voice behind me:
"I'll come with you..."
My father is next to me and together we walk the fields around the mansion. He doesn't speak, and neither do I, even though I have to fight the urge to tell him everything. He is easier to talk to then my mother. He is calmer, less judgemental, and more open minded, and even though I love my mum, right now I prefer to talk to my dad. Finally, I decide to open up:
"Dad?"
"Sonny?"
"Can I talk to you?"
"Of course..."
"About Will and me I mean... about what happened..."
"Sonny, you can talk to me about anything you want... always..."
"OK."
For a couple of minutes we walk quietly and then I take a deep breath and start talking:
"I asked him to marry me... on Christmas morning I made him breakfast in bed... an I gave him a present... and I proposed, dad..."
He nods, but doesn't say anything. And I have so much more to say so I just plod on:
"I planned it all, everything was supposed to be perfect and romantic..."
"So what went wrong..."
"He said no..."
The silence after my words is putting even more emphasis on the heavy message they carry. I can't help the one tear that escapes from the corner of my eye, and I wipe it away with an almost annoyed gesture of my hand. The memory of that moment, when he jumped up from the bed, and said 'no', hurt me deep in my soul.
"I thought we were stable dad, ready for the next step...but he said no... several times actually... then he quickly put some clothes on and ran out..."
I sigh and shake my head, reliving the way he rushed around me to find some easy fitting clothes, and then how he ran out without saying anything else.
"And two hours later I got a text saying he thought it was better not to see each other for a while... and then on boxing day he texted me to say he thinks it is better to split up..."
My heart breaks again when I say those words out loud, and I hold my dad tight the moment he pulls me in for a fatherly hug:
"I'm so sorry Sonny..."
I am crying now. Not the loud sniffing cry, but the cry where silent tears seem to come from the soul. When my dad lets go he gestures to a small bench and we sit down to continue our conversation. He opens with a question:
"So did you two talk about this at all...?"
"No, he doesn't want to... he doesn't answer my calls, or my messages, or anything."
"So you haven't seen him since that day..."
"No... and I miss him."
My voice trembles and I try to swallow the lump in my throat.
"If he doesn't want to marry me that's OK... I just want him with me..."
"I know Sonny... just try to get him to speak to you..."
I nod and look at my dad:
"Thanks dad... for listening..."
"Anytime Sonny... and I hate to see you like this."
I point to the mansion and suggest to walk back in order to be on time for dinner. And while we head back we enjoy the comfortable silence between us.
Will's POV
New years eve 2013
I look around me and realise how everyone seems to tiptoe around me, not sure how to approach me. Everyone wondered why I was alone all Christmas and by now they all know we broke up. No-one knows the reason yet though, and I don't think I am ready to tell anyone. Abigail, aunt Maggie, my mum, EJ, my dad, and even Gabi have tried to get me to talk, but not one of them has been successful. I look up when I feel a hand on my shoulder:
"Hey Will, let's have a beer..."
My dear friend T launches himself on the chair next to me while handing me a beer.
"Thanks T..."
"You're welcome... so what happened..."
"What?"
"Between you and Sonny..."
"You are always so subtle, aren't you..."
He shrugs and smiles:
"And that's why you love me... now come on... tell your old friend T."
I shake my head and wave around:
"Too many people."
"OK, let's go for a walk."
And before I know it we are walking outside and I have no more excuses to not talk about me and Sonny. I look at T from aside and suddenly realise how good a friend he is, and then I start talking:
"He asked me to marry him..."
"He did? On one knee and everything?"
"Yeah..."
The silence makes me look up at T and I see how he raises his eyebrows:
"So how did it come to pass that you are by yourself now..."
"I said no and ran out."
"You what?"
I shrug and stop walking so we can look each other in the face.
"I freaked out..."
"You think?"
His sarcastic tone tells me that he doesn't understand why I did what I did and I decide to try to explain it:
"He is perfect T... He is everything I could hope for, and more... And all I know is that I do not deserve him... and I also know that marriage is the way to screw it up..."
T looks at me slightly puzzled and he shakes his head. I lift my head in a silent request for him to tell me what he is thinking.
"OK Will, there is no subtle way to say this so don't blame me... You are stupid."
I raise my eyebrows while he continues to clarify himself:
"You love him, he loves you, that's enough for you to deserve him. And screwing things up? You did that Will, when you said no and walked out..."
"T listen to me... my mum was married a million times, my dad is single after some marriages, EJ was married a few times, I don't want to end up like that, and definitely not with Sonny."
"So what are you saying... that this is much better?"
I sigh and feel how my shoulders slump down:
"No, this sucks too..."
"So did you talk to him about this?"
"No... I just texted him I think it is better to break up..."
"WILL..."
I look up from the sudden loudness in his voice. The disbelief is painted on his face and he suddenly grabs my shoulders:
"You are not this stupid... let me repeat: he loves you and you love him. Whatever you two have is amazing. And I think him proposing is amazing, and belief me when I say that two years ago I would not think I would ever say something like this..."
He smiles slightly and I can't help but tear up a bit.
"But here we are, and I am supporting my gay best friend to make up with his boyfriend... excuse me, his husband to be..."
"T... how do I know marriage isn't going to make everything worse..."
He looks at me and then shrugs his shoulders while he says:
"Because it is you and Sonny..."
Sonny's POV
January the first 2014
The apartment feels empty. All our stuff is in the same place, but it feels empty and hallow. While I make myself some breakfast, I try to avoid all his stuff, his laptop on the desk, his shower gel in the bathroom, his hazelnut cereal in the kitchen cupboard, and his underwear in my drawer. But I cannot resist it all and moments later I find myself wearing one of his sweaters drinking coffee out of his mug I gave him a while ago. Then I hear a key in the door and I jump up from the couch. The door opens and Will walks in. I have never seen him this nervous and insecure in my life, and for a moment I almost forget he asked to break up and I want to run over and hug him close. His eyes meet mine and his voice is soft:
"Hi..."
"Hi..."
He gestures to the kitchen table and asks:
"Can we talk?"
I wordlessly nod and we sit down opposite the table. His eyes go from the sweater I am wearing to the mug in my hand and I see how that does not leave him untouched. I stand up again and make him a cup of coffee, unconsciously giving him my mug. When he has his coffee and I sit down again, we look at each other. He is the one to break the silence:
"I talked to T..."
I expected everything, but not that. I frown and am not sure what to say in response. He sees my confusion and continues in a nervous rant:
"He is very pro-us you know... never thought I could say this about him... but he came around completely, you know..."
When he looks at me for a response I shake my head:
"What do you want me to say Will..."
Suddenly he seems to realise the things he said and he takes a deep breath:
"I am sorry Sonny... I am so so sorry... I did it all wrong... I proved again I am a son of my mother."
Even though I am not sure what to think and feel right now I have to comment on that:
"You are not like your mother Will."
His eyes look into mine when he whispers:
"If you are right then that is only due to you..."
I stand up from the table, and turn my back to him while I realise how angry and hurt I am. So I decide to be upfront and honest:
"Will... why are you here... what is your purpose of coming here..."
I turn around to face him again and my eyes shoot daggers his way:
"You said no and you ran out. Then I get two lousy messages and that is that. You broke up with me after I ask you to marry me... what are you doing here Will?"
My hands are firmly on my hips and my lips are a flat line showing how angry I am. I can see in his eyes that my attitude hurts him, but right now I need answers so I just wait. Finally he stands up, nervously playing with the string of his sweater:
"I am here to talk to you Sonny... I am here to see if I can fix what I broke."
His blue eyes are pleading, but I also still hear his resounding 'no', and I still see his quick departure after I bared my very soul to him:
"You want to fix it? You walked out Will, you walked out on me..."
He shakes his head, and I can see the tears behind his eyes:
"You're wrong Sonny, I walked out on me."
I shrug and sigh:
"What is that supposed to mean."
"I love you..."
Before he can continue I interrupt him:
"Well, you have a great way of showing it."
He swallows the rest of what he wanted to say and bows his head. I regret my outburst and softly say:
"Sorry, I'll listen..."
"I love you so much... and I don't want to ruin it, because I cannot live without you..."
And again I interrupt, forgetting my promise to listen:
"You cannot live without me Will? Why do I find that hard to believe when you walk out on me after I ask you to be with me forever... please tell me what is wrong with this picture..."
Even though I can see the sting of my words in his face he doesn't give up:
"All I know is that marriages fail, Sonny. My mum has been married several times, my dad also... when we just started dating I already told you I wasn't really into the whole marriage thing."
I look at him, and remember that moment in the town square. I never forgot that, but I thought that he would have changed his mind since we were going so well. I shake my head and feel the anger change into hurt:
"Why did you just leave, why didn't you stay to talk, why did you break up with me..."
He avoids my eyes and says:
"Because I love you, and when I said no you looked so hurt. You deserve more than me Sonny... you deserve a guy who can make you happy, who can share your beliefs, who can make all your dreams come true."
"I don't want another guy Will..."
And suddenly we look at each other. He raises his shoulders and spread his hands in a helpless motion:
"Neither do I ..."
And then he is in my arms, and his hands are in my hair. His lips are firmly on mine and I feel dizzy from the passion with which he is kissing me. When he lets go he just whispers:
"I am so sorry... so sorry... I love you... I am so sorry..."
I reach up to put my fingers on his lips so he stops talking. And when he does I whisper softly:
"No marriage, but please promise me that you at least have the intention to stay with me forever..."
His blue eyes are swimming and they look like the ocean when he answers me:
"Yes Sonny, forever and ever..."
New years eve 2014
We are spending the evening in bed, just talking and remembering this last year that flew by so quickly. He is playful and kissing me everywhere he can. He arm is around my shoulders and his leg is hooked over mine. I am completely relaxed and happy, feeling safe in the circle of his arms. His tongue is licking my neck softly and I whimper while pulling his face up.
"Will, if you keep doing that we are going to have round 3."
He just smiles and wiggles his eyebrows:
"And that is bad why?"
I can't help but smile back:
"It isn't..."
I pull his face back against my neck and enjoy the immediate feeling of his soft, wet, warm tongue against my skin. Then he stops and sits up:
"Where is the tin..."
I raise my eyebrows and shake my head:
"What? What happened to round 3..."
"Don't worry honey, we will get to round 3, and probably 4 and 5 before the sun comes up..."
I laugh and reach over in my night stand to grab the tin. He smiles and pulls out our two resolutions from last year. We wrote it after we made up on new year's eve and we both smile when he reads out loud:
"Make it up to Sonny... "
He looks at me and asks shyly:
"So did I succeed?"
I smile and pull him close for a lingering kiss:
"You sure did..."
He opens the other paper and reads:
"Make Will happy..."
He leans over and repeats the kiss:
"I am the happiest guy in the world Sonny..."
The he stands up to grab a piece of paper and two pens. I enjoy the view of my boyfriend walking around unashamed in his birthday suite. When he comes back we sit next to each other against the headboard of our bed and we both scribble something on our piece of paper. I reach for the tin and say:
"I'll go first... my resolution is to buy us a real home with a garden and everything..."
I look at his face to see his reaction, and the way his eyes shine with utter happiness tells me enough. I put the paper in the tin and then hand it to him:
"Your turn."
He hesitates for a while and then looks at me. I can see the emotions written on his face. He clears his throat before he says with a trembling voice:
"My resolution is..."
He stops midsentence, and I feel my heart rate increase every second.
"Will..."
He shakes his head and stands up to pace around the bed:
"Everything we do Sonny... everything we do is focussed on us. We live together, we wear each other's underwear, when I do the grocery shopping I make sure I get you some chocolate and you always get me some crisps, and when my car is broke I borrow yours, and I have not watched a horror movie in years because you don't like those, when I buy new clothes I wonder whether you would like it, when I see you are almost out of aftershave I get you a new bottle, and now you want to buy a house for us..."
I am suddenly slightly worried, remembering last year when he suddenly ran out. But before I can interrupt him he is kneeling next to me on the bed. His hands cup my face as if I am the most precious thing he has ever seen. My heart is pounding like crazy and I am sure I am hyperventilating. But his voice is heaven:
"I am not afraid anymore Sonny... you and me forever, right? My resolution is to marry you... Sonny... please, please marry me..."
I look into his eyes and know he is serious, and I know he is ready. I nod, unable to say anything as I am too overwhelmed by what just happened. Finally, I reach out to see his little piece of paper and I read:
"Sonny."
I look at him slightly puzzled and ask:
"All you wrote is my name?"
He shrugs and explains:
"When I see the future all I see is you, everything I do is for you, everything I think is about you, and everything I want is you. And then I realised I don't remember why I was afraid to get married, because right now it is all I really want... but before I could write that down you were already putting yours in the tin and you said it was my turn"
I smile and push the tin away. I pull him close to me and whisper:
"You know... the first time I kissed you, you pushed me away. The first time I proposed to you, you ran out... But both times it turned out absolutely perfect... I will remember that in the future..."
He blushes, but then nuzzles his nose against mine while he moves us around until he is on top of me entirely:
"You are too good for me, that's why..."
But before I can deny that he continues:
"And I think I just need some time to realise I should hold to my luck as tight as I can... "
His kiss is warm, and the way his tongue moves around mine is enough to make me dizzy. He smiles against my lips and whispers:
"Now what about round 3..."
My arms slot around him and I squeeze him tight:
"And don't forget round 4 and 5 you promised me before sunset..."
His tongue swirls around my nipple and I gasp. And after he gives me a wet and sloppy kiss on my chest he looks up and smiles:
"I can't wait for the honeymoon..."
Sorry, another proposal one... I will try to resist the urge next time! I hope you like it, I love to read your reviews.