AN: Sorry, I kind of messed up big time when I first posted this, so here it is again. Sorry if it seems rushed. I just had this idea and I wanted to get it down as fast as possible, before I forgot it. If it's really bad, I'll just delete it. Anyway, let me know what you think! Enjoy!
The week after Jane got released from the hospital was tense. She had almost died from the jump and the frigid waters. If Maura hadn't had the sense to run down to the water to pull her out before the paramedics, fire department, and just about everyone from BPD had gotten there, she probably would have died. She had to stay in the hospital for four days to recover. Her mother had fluctuated between coddling her like a child and berating her for her reckless behavior. Jane didn't really care what her mother thought because she was able to save Paul and now he was in the psychiatric ward of the hospital, so he was safe. She had done her job and no amount of yelling from her mother could change the fact that she was proud of her ability to save him. The thing that puzzled Jane was Maura's behavior. When she had woken up, she had expected Maura to be sitting next to her, holding her hand and telling her everything was fine. But Maura hadn't been there when she'd woken up.
Jane woke with a start, unaware of her surroundings. She saw her mother and Frankie looking on with concern; her mother was sitting on a chair at the end of her bed and Frankie was standing against the wall.
"Where's Maura?" were the first words out of her mouth. When she saw Frankie cringe she immediately feared the worst. "Is she hurt? Did she get hurt? What happened to her?" she had pleaded.
"Janie, calm down. Maura's fine." her mother assured her.
"Well, then, where is she?" Jane asked, directing the question to her younger brother.
"She saved you, Jane. She ran down from the bridge and basically threw herself into the freezing water. No, she actually did throw herself in. By the time we got there, she was soaking wet and trembling like a leaf. She didn't even notice how cold she was. She had been furiously trying to give you CPR. She was begging you to breathe. When you finally gasped and sputtered out water, she allowed the paramedics to take over and get you to the hospital. They wanted to take her, too, to be treated for hypothermia, but she refused."
"No one forced her to go?"
"She's a doctor, Jane. She can take care of herself. Everyone was more concerned with you and Paul."
"Oh my god! Paul! Is he okay?"
"Yeah, Jane, he's fine. They put him in psych."
Jane nodded. "Okay. Good. Fine." she noticed how quiet her mother was being. "Ma?"
Angela sighed. "Jane, I don't understand why you insist on being so reckless."
"It's my job, Ma."
"No! Your job is to solve murders! Your job is not to jump off a bridge after a possible suspect! Saving him is one thing, but jumping off a bridge?! What were you thinking?!"
"I wasn't thinking."
"Well, that's the problem, isn't it? Excuse me, I need some tea." And with that, Angela left the room.
When she was in the hospital, just about everyone came to see her. Korsak came by for updates on the case and to wish her well; Cavanaugh had come to reprimand her, but in the end told her he was glad she was alive and able to save Paul; hell, even some of the other homicide detectives came to tell her to get better soon. But Maura never showed up. After being released from the hospital, Jane wanted to go straight back to work. Cavanaugh said it was fine, as long as she was medically cleared, so she went back to work. Her first move was to go down to the morgue to see Maura, who had clearly been avoiding her. She hadn't answered any of Jane's calls or texts.
Jane sauntered into Maura's office with her usual self-confident swagger. "Hey, Maura."
"Hello, Detective Rizzoli. What can I do for you this morning?" Maura had put on her Doctor Isles persona, the polite and put together woman who boarded herself off from others. The same woman who Jane had been able to break through the walls of and get to know the true Maura underneath. So Jane was puzzled as to why the walls were back up.
"Um, no, Maura. I'm good. I just came to say hi because I'm back. I haven't seen you, so you know."
"No, I do not know, Detective. And I would prefer if you called me Doctor Isles in our place of work."
"What the hell, Maura?!" Jane asked getting angry. "I haven't seen you in four days! I was in the hospital and you weren't there! And you've been ducking all my calls and texts! Why the hell are you avoiding me?!"
"Detective, please do not use that kind of language or raise your voice at me."
"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on."
Maura sighed. "Jane, I have some things I'm trying to work out right now and I really need my space. So, can we please just be colleagues? I need you to be a professional about this."
"So, what? Years of friendship down the drain? Why the hell are you doing this, Maura?" Jane was almost pleading now. She had no idea what was going on with her friend.
"I cannot discuss this with you right now. Please leave."
"Is this because I jumped after him?"
"I said that I do not wish to discuss this. Leave. Now." Maura's voice had taken on an icy edge that made Jane's blood run cold. She quickly left her office, completely confused over Maura's behavior.
The rest of the week had been extremely tense. They had been working on a case, but Maura refused to talk to her in anything but a professional manner. She was so worried she had even tried talking to her mother about it.
"Hey, Ma." Jane had stopped at the cafe for a cup of coffee. "Have you, um, talked to Maura recently? I think something's going on with her, but she won't talk to me."
"Why won't she talk to you, sweetie?" Angela asked, passing her daughter a plate with eggs and toast, knowing Jane hadn't bothered to eat breakfast.
"I don't know. But I think it has something to do with the whole bridge incident. Has she mentioned anything to you?"
"Well, she has been avoiding me quite a bit, as well, but we did talk the other night."
"Oh? What did she say?"
"Well, I had gone over to make a cup of tea, and I walked in and Maura was sitting on her couch sobbing. Now, naturally I went over to her and asked her what was wrong. She told me that she had broken up with Jack. Now, I don't think that was the whole story, but I wasn't going to force the poor girl. She could barely talk, she was crying so hard. I asked her why she broke up with him, and she just shook her head. I made her a cup of tea and sent her off to bed. We haven't spoken since, and I believe she's avoiding me."
"She broke up with Jack? Why on earth would she do that? She really liked him. And she had just met his daughter. I mean, it felt like she was really serious about him. Why now? Why would she do that?"
"I suppose you'll have to ask her yourself."
That's how she got here. Sitting in her car, outside Maura's house, trying to figure out exactly what to say to her. Jane sighed and shook her head. She simply couldn't plan this. She decided she needed to just go and talk to Maura herself. She got out of the car and made her way to the door. She rang the bell and waited. The door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled Maura. Her red and puffy eyes indicated she'd been crying and she was in a pair of baggy sweatpants that Jane hadn't even known Maura owned. Even when Maura relaxed, she was wearing yoga pants, and looked somewhat put together. When Ian had left and she was crying in her kitchen, she looked better than this. Something was seriously wrong.
"Jane? What are you doing here?"
"Sorry I didn't call, but I figured you wouldn't answer. Can I please come in? I just want to talk."
Maura nodded and opened the door for Jane to enter. She walked into the living room and Jane followed her. Maura began cleaning up tissues that littered the coffee table.
"Sorry that it's such a mess. I really wasn't expecting company. Can I get you something to drink? Wine, beer, juice, tea, coffee, water? Something to eat, perhaps?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks, though."
"Of course. Would you like to sit down?"
Jane sat down on the couch and Maura sat on the opposite end, clearly trying to have distance between her and Jane.
"I'm really not sure why you're here, Jane. Unless, this is some sort of professional visit, I can't see any reason as to why you'd be here."
"Really, Maura? You can't see why your best friend is at your house after you've been avoiding her for almost two weeks."
"I haven't been avoiding you. I told you I needed some space to work some things out. I thought you understood that."
"I don't understand that. Is this about Jack? I know you two broke up. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yes, Jack and I did break up. No, I do not wish to talk about it. That has nothing to do with why I need space."
Jane sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Then why, Maura? Clearly something's going on with you. You broke up with Jack and I know you were crazy about him. What changed? What happened? Why are you shutting me out? Why won't you just tell me what's bothering you?"
"YOU COULD HAVE DIED, JANE!" Maura burst out, jumping up from the couch. She began pacing back and forth. "What don't you understand about that?! I had to go in after you and drag your lifeless body to shore! I had to administer CPR while trying not to completely break down because you were dying! You weren't breathing! But I couldn't freak out because I had to save you! How many times are you going to do this, Jane?! How many times are you going to do stupid and reckless things under the guise of doing your job?! How many times does it take for you to realize that you are not immortal?! When are you going to learn that gambling with your own life is how you lose it?! How many times am I expected to save you?! To try and stop blood from pouring out of self-inflicted gunshot wounds?! To scramble to give you CPR so you can breathe again?! How many times do I have to watch you basically die in my arms and realize that I can't do a damn thing to stop it?! And why do you never talk about it?! All these near-death experiences! Hoyt, Dennis, Dominick, Marino, and countless others! You never want to talk about it! You brush it off as though it's nothing and I have to deal with the aftermath by myself! You think you're the only one who has nightmares, Jane?! Sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep at night because I could dream about you dying! I can't count how many times I've had that dream over the course of our friendship! And every near-death experience makes them worse! When are you going to realize that your actions have an effect on the other people in your life?! When will you stop being so selfish?!" Maura broke down sobbing. She crumpled up into a ball on the floor, and was rocking herself back and forth as she continued to sob.
"Hey, Maura." Jane sat down next to her and put her arm around her. "Hey. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm right here, Maura. I'm not going anywhere."
Maura jumped up like she had been burned. "Well, that's the problem, isn't it? I don't really know that for sure." she chocked out. "So I'm choosing to remove myself from this. I can't deal with this kind of heartbreak anymore."
"Heartbreak? What heartbreak?"
Maura turned away from Jane, wrapping her arms around herself as though attempting to block out the question.
"Maura? Talk to me. Please." Jane was begging. She needed to know what Maura had meant.
Maura turned around and looked Jane straight in the eye. She took a deep breath. "Jane, I'm in love with you."
"What?" Jane asked, dumbly.
"I know. Stupid, right?" Maura let out a cynical laugh. "I fell in love with a reckless, idiotic woman who I knew would break my heart. A woman who could never love me back, so I should just get over her. But I can't just get over her, because I'll never love anyone as much as I love her. A woman who is my best friend in the whole world, and the only person I've ever trusted enough to tell everything to. Well, I guess not everything, considering I never told you I was bisexual. But that doesn't matter, now. Because I've obviously lost your friendship now anyway."
"You're in love with me?" Jane furrowed her brow in confusion.
Maura sighed. "Yes, Jane. Now, we can go back to just being coworkers. I can handle it. I'll be fine. Just, please leave."
"No."
"No?"
"No!" Jane repeated more forcefully. "You don't get to drop a bombshell like this and then tell me to leave."
"Why? It's not like you could ever feel the same."
"What if I do?"
"Please don't do this, Jane. I'm really not in the mood for this. I haven't slept properly since that night on the bridge. My emotions are barely hanging on by a thread. I really can't talk like this right now."
"Then don't talk." Jane whispered, moving closer.
"Jane, what are you-" Maura was cut off by Jane's soft lips pressed against hers. Jane's hands went to her waist and she pulled Maura closer to her. Maura melted into the kiss and it felt as though it lasted for eternity. Eventually, Jane pulled away.
"I'm in love with you, too. I'm sorry I put you through all of this pain. I can't promise I'll never do it again, but I'm going to try. Because Maura, I want to come home to my girlfriend every single night."
"Girlfriend?" Maura squeaked, still in awe from the kiss.
"Yes, beautiful. I want you to be my girlfriend. If you'll have my stupid and reckless ass as yours, I would be honored."
"Yes, Jane! Yes!" Maura launched herself onto Jane in a more passionate kiss. Then, something Jane had said earlier finally caught up to her and she pulled back. "Every single night, huh? Did you suggest we move in together before we've even gone on a date?"
"Yes." Jane replied, not at all embarrassed at what she had suggested. "I know how hard nightmares can be. And you've gotten me through mine, so every night I want to be here to help you get through yours."
Maura smiled up at Jane with the brightest smile Jane had ever seen. "I always sleep so much better when you're next to me."
"Well in that case…" Jane picked Maura up and began carrying her to the bedroom.
"Jane, what on earth are you doing?"
"You haven't slept well in almost two weeks. Well, I'm about to change that. Let's get into bed and cuddle and fall asleep and tomorrow morning I'll make you breakfast in bed and then we'll spend the rest of the day in bed, cuddling and napping. How does that sound?"
"Absolutely perfect."