Man I Am
I didn't ask for this life. But I did choose it. I didn't want to kill him, but I did as he ordered.
I chose too late, helping only the bad. I hurt too many, by hurting him. But they mustn't see me cry, not that I ever have. I can't cry for the dark, I didn't cry in pain.
It disgusts me every time I see my own reflection. Not my looks, not that I am fond of them, but what I know my face has shown, what my hands have down, what my mouth has spoken. I disgust myself for following orders, his orders, to kill him. I disgust myself for all my life has done, all the pain I have caused.
I despise myself for wearing this mask that hides who I am. Not this veiled mask that covers my face, but my horrible sneer and this heartless hatred for everything, that is more false then anything I could ever wear. My legs that have bowed before a serpent so vile carry a man that has followed his corrupt orders.
They carry the man I am.