Out of all the kisses we've shared, it was by far my favorite. It was so gentle and sweet and passionate. Even when I'm 90 years old, I will never forget the look in Finn's eyes when he saw me for the first time because it was the first time I truly saw myself. Every part of me was exposed and vulnerable in front of this man who had my heart and soul in the palm of his hands. It was terrifying to think that at any moment he could drop them and my life would shatter to tiny pieces again, but when he looked at me, I knew there was no way he ever would.

I was so scared because I needed it to be more than it was with Liam. I can never change the fact that my literal first time was with someone who wouldn't let me take my clothes off or that it was with someone who was sweaty, and distant, and cold. It wasn't passionate or meaningful, and he definitely wasn't careful or gentle. I can never change the fact that I was just a replacement for his hand that night. But that doesn't mean I can't make my first time with Finn my emotional first time. The one that I'll remember for the rest of my life as being my real first time.

"Are you ready?" He asked, just barely above a whisper.

My words got lost somewhere between my brain and my lips and all I could manage was a slight but determined nod.

I've never felt as safe as I did being in his arms, like nothing in this world could touch me. And not once did he take his eye off mine. It felt as if he looked away, he would miss something that he wouldn't be able to get back. I felt like our souls were speaking a language only they could understand.

And then he said it. No, still not I love you, even better.

"Rae."

He wasn't trying to be seductive or sultry. He was just letting me know he was there with me, 100 percent. It was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. It danced in the air to the music our bodies were making and landed ever so delicately on my heart.

That one sound, that tiny one syllable word and my life was changed forever.

I was only ever living with my head barely above water and in that one fleeting moment, he reached in and pulled me out of the water that I'd been drowning in for so long.

This man loved me for all that I was and all that I wasn't and for the first time in my life, I felt like the invincible one.