Author's Note: This is far different from my other stuff. Not much in the way of romance and a whole lot more mysticism. Get ready for something a bit weird, but hopefully joyful in the end.
A couple of notes. I make reference to something that was supposed to occur in Season 7 of The Clone Wars. As you probably know season 7 never actually happened. Filoni described the story arc I reference at Star Wars Celebration at the Ahsoka panel. Here's the brief version. There was going to be an arc where Ahsoka teamed back up with Obi-wan and Anakin were going to be searching at the very bottom of Coruscant and come upon the Sith Shrine in the depths thousands of level beneath the Jedi Temple. There was to be some confrontation with Darth Sidious at this shrine and Ahsoka was going to hold a door against him as he sent lightning through it into her and her lightsaber. They were never face-to-face. If you want to hear Dave Filoni talk about this Look up the Star Wars Celebration 2016 Ahsoka Panel. It's about 28 minutes in and is easy to find on Youtube.
I treat this incident as canon. So for you lore monkeys our there that jump on details, you can look this up yourself.
Finally, a thank you to SweetSinger2010. She gave me an early read and help me spot out where I was a little inconsistent with Ahsoka's voice. Also if you haven't, read SweetSinger2010's stuff. She's good, but if you're on this site reading Rebels fanfiction, you probably already know that.
So without further ado...
The Vigil of Malachor
Ahsoka Tano stared out into the darkness of Malachor and mused on the path she had walked. Padawan. Loner. Fulcrum. And now seemingly lost and forgotten in the murk of a forbidden Sith world. There was no way off this world, no ships, no settlements, no escape. Ezra Bridger would one day discover that she lived, but that day would not come for several years if she understood how things stood.
And so she was alone, and not for the first time in her life. Abandoned by the Jedi, she had walked, for a time, the darkened streets of lower Coruscant. She had been lonely then, adrift, with no purpose to call her own. But this... This loneliness was different. This was being the sole living sentient on a world, wracked by war, dead for centuries untold. This was everyone you had ever known believing you were dead.
This was knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt that your once dear friend and mentor had become a creature from a nightmare. Darth Vader. Anakin Skywalker. A Lord of the Sith. Ahsoka had spent most of the last few days grieving upon this horrible truth. She had always known there was a stain of darkness deep within Anakin. She had seen it come out more than once. On occasion she had even been an accomplice, she thought with guilt.
And yet she couldn't reconcile this with what she knew of Vader. How had Anakin turned his back on everything he believed in, and everyone he had loved? How had Anakin become a mass murderer? This was not a mystery she could ever hope to solve, for there could be no rational answers to these questions?
Ahsoka grimaced into the dark. There had been a part of her that refused to accept what Anakin had become, that had held out some hope that her suspicions were wrong, that her vision in the temple was a cheat. When Vader had declared that he had killed Anakin, she had known the truth behind his words, but a stubborn part of her had desperately wished to take the words literally.
When she sliced off part of his mask, she was left with no recourse, no more retreat from the awful truth. The sound of his voice and his rasping breath...
Ahsoka forced the memory from her mind and peeled the wrapper back from one of her last ration bars and ate it slowly. She had explored the area as thoroughly as she dared, all except some regions deep in the Temple that were sealed from her, and she knew there was little to keep her alive long term. Ahsoka had found the remains of Maul's camp. He had had only a few supplies of use to her. The inquisitors had left nothing behind, and the two Tie's she had found had been damaged beyond repair by the temple collapse. If she were going to live long enough to get off this forsaken rock, she would have to find some wildlife to hunt very quickly. Or…
Or she would have to put herself into a near hibernation state. Ahsoka had read about Jedi accomplishing such feats before, Jedi who had meditated and reached so deeply into the force that their metabolism nearly stopped and they endured years in a trance. She had no idea how to do this, but she had little choice but to attempt the technique.
She had chosen a spot high on the remnants of the damaged Sith temple and sat to meditate. But her mind was cloudy, still focused on Anakin, and what could have possibly led him down such a path. Her mind strayed back to the dark figure she and Ezra had seen in the portal. She knew that presence; she had confronted it once before, deep beneath Coruscant, on the lowest levels, levels so ancient that they were all forgotten in all stories but legend. That same malicious presence had once held a door in an ancient Sith shrine against her.
Sidious. The true Lord of the Sith. Palpatine, the puppeteer, the man behind all the shadows, and so many sorrows. And the betrayer of all. It was true that Anakin had befriended Sideous when he played at being the Chancellor, but how could Anakin turn his back on everything for that... that monster? What did he stand to gain? How could he betray her after all he'd taught her? How could Anakin betray Obi-wan? How could Anakin betray Padme...?
Ahsoka had long known about Padme and Anakin. It was hardly a secret to those closest to them. Rex certainly knew, and Ahsoka suspected that Obi-wan did as well. And yet the Jedi Order's foolish doctrine of non-attachment had kept their marriage in the shadows.
Perhaps this is what Sidious exploited. If so this was another reason to turn her back on the Jedi Order of old.
She pushed the thought from her mind. This was... This was not a helpful line of thinking. This was not going to help her meditate. Ahsoka sighed and tried to clear her mind yet again. She stretched out with her senses, feeling the cold emptiness of Malachor around her. Malice and sorrow still lingered in this place if one but opened themselves to it. A war fought senselessly, hatred on both sides, fear, desperation, and finally the death of every soul on the planet.
But even in the ashes, she sensed life. Lichens and moss grew in places where water dripped. These were nibbled upon by a few rodent-like creatures, that scurried in the dark, who were in turn eaten by a few small predators. A food chain, here in the dark; a tenuous balance had taken hold. Even the lingering echoes of ancient war could not keep the light away forever, and this was a comfort to Ahsoka. Someday beyond the reign of Darth Sidious, a balance would return unplagued by the cancer of the dark side.
She reached further with the Force and felt the cold darkness of space, and beyond that nothing that she could sense with her abilities. Well, she mused inwardly, there would be little to disturb her meditation.
Suddenly she sensed a brightness beside her, a beacon of light and warmth in the dark. Morai, the convor. Her friend and guardian, and a link to the Daughter of Mortis or perhaps the Daughter herself. Ahoska didn't know for sure, and Morai herself revealed no secrets.
Ahsoka opened her eyes. The green and white bird regarded her with it's wise knowing eyes. "I haven't seen you since, that... other place, that place beyond places. It is good to not be alone."
Morai made a subtle cooing noise and stepped closer to the Torgruta. "I don't suppose you know a way off this ashen world?" Morai cooed again. "I was afraid not. Very well, your presence is soothing. Perhaps with your help, I will be able to slip deep enough into the Force to hibernate till someone finds me." Morai fluttered into Ahsoka's lap. The Torgruta wrapped her arms around the bird and felt a wellspring of light and power coming from the convor.
"Someday, you will tell me what you truly are, friend. But today I will not deny a kindness freely given." Ahsoka reached out through the Force again easing back into its gentle embrace. Again she felt the gentle pulse of the world around her, it's sorrows, and it's quiet vestiges of life.
And then she saw further. She gasped as she saw stars and planets wheeling about her. Trillions of lives and souls, living on specks of dirt, hurling through the void. She tried to back away, but only found herself with an even wider view; no longer could she see individuals. Now she saw a spinning galaxy, pulsing with life and with war.
Ahsoka marveled. Had Morai granted this great clarity that she could see the life thread of the galaxy itself? Or was Morai some greater part of the tapestry, a key thread that other threads depended upon? Or was the inner strength of the convor simply enough to amplify Ahsoka's own abilities to such an extent?
Several things drew Ahsoka's attention, though one demanded she inspect it first.
Deep in the core, she saw a planet that seemed to sing with life and the Force itself. Hidden away from the rest of the galaxy, it resonated with an almost holy light. Ahsoka turned away. She did not know this place, but it was not for her to look upon uninvited. Even now she could feel that those on the surface knew of her intrusion. They were curious, but not angry.
Then Ahsoka turned and saw Core Worlds. Worlds loyal to the empire. Populous places with billions of people. They funded the empire and paid a heavy toll in taxes but suffered less than other places. Correllia, Alderaan, Kuat and more. Coruscant, the glittering gem, drew her attention. A dark power made it's principality here: a foul emperor on a corrupt throne. She looked at the suffering of its people. How could so many souls gather in one place and not suffer? She had seen it's dark underbelly. She hated the place and wondered how the old Jedi had ever made it their home.
Suddenly she felt wisping tendrils of darkness weaving around her. She was known, and her presence was felt by the emperor on his throne. She turned her face away lest she be recognized and extricated herself from the creeping shadows. From her high perspective, it was easy to step away; the shadow held no power over her from this height. She felt some displeasure from her adversary, but mostly curiosity at who could have challenged him so and remained unscathed.
Ahsoka looked outwards, towards the rim. She would look upon her friends and see that all was well with them. She found them on Atalon. Their lives flashed by in a hurry. Ahsoka realized that either she saw far into the future, or else time itself slipped past her rapidly. Perhaps this was the trancelike state she sought?
Ahsoka watched Kanan struggle, blind and afraid, ashamed. She felt pity for him, and anger at Maul. She saw Hera's pain at her love's struggles. Zeb and Sabine were lost and astray, with their Jedi adrift, they questioned things they held dear. Then she saw Ezra and the undercurrents of darkness he fought against. She sighed inwardly. He would not succumb, she had felt no darkness in him when they had last spoken, but he would live a hard road until he rejected the dark.
Wishing to see their struggles no longer, Ahsoka began to scour the galaxy for something else to take her attention. From the corner of her eye, she caught a brilliant star of light, ancient yet full of wisdom, and also regret. As she turned, the light seemed to disappear, as if it did not wish to be found. But she had seen it, and she knew where it was.
Her consciousness descended upon a swampy world, teeming with life. The very air itself throbbed with the song of the living. And there in the midst of the cacophony...
An old friend, one she would speak to.
"Yoda," she said softly as he put a pot on the fire.
"Hmm..." he said and closed his eyes. "Found me, you did. Expect to see you again I did not, little Ahsoka."
Ahsoka laughed gently. "Little? I like to think I have grown much."
"Indeed. You have grown beyond the young Padawan that so wisely turned her back on us." Yoda sighed and stirred his pot before sitting on a stool. "Yes. Great wisdom you showed, even when we, the council, did not. Sorry, I am. Regret. Remorse, my closest friend. Not just over you. But for much we did. The war that gave rise to Sideous, that fed his great power. For Anakin, whom we failed most of all."
Ahsoka didn't answer, and Yoda continued. "Unworthy to speak to you I am, and your forgiveness I must seek."
Ahsoka smiled and sent reassurance to Yoda through the Force. "I hold no grudges, master. We were all blind in those days; the cloud of the dark side covered us all."
"An excuse that is. Your forgiveness I crave. And need, desperately."
"Then Master Yoda, I forgive you for everything."
The small green creature sighed and smiled "A balm upon my soul. Many wrongs I have done, but this one at least is laid to rest." He stood again to stir his pot. "Unwise, and blind the council grew. Wonder I have, what would have happened if wiser men had led it. Qwi-Gon perhaps. Obi-wan. Even Anakin had wisdom we lacked. Perhaps then... Perhaps." He stopped unable to continue that thought.
"But let us not talk of these things. The past is behind, and the future ahead. I trust you have found a path to walk, Ahsoka, beyond the darkness of Malachor?"
Ahsoka was thoughtful for a minute. "I remain in the dark, and my path is... uncertain. Anakin I cannot reach; he is beyond me."
"Hmm, right you are, I am afraid. If he has rejected even you, then I fear there is no redemption for him. But do not despair, for there is another hope for this galaxy, one beyond the counsels of the Sith."
This is new, Ahsoka thought. She nearly asked him to tell her more, but Yoda laughed a strange little laugh that was gleeful and a bit mischievous. Ahsoka had never heard him like this. "A secret hope, this is Ahsoka, even from you. Three of us there are in this conspiracy. No more. No less. But... Look to the future, look for this new hope. Perhaps soon the time will come. I cannot say."
Ahsoka regarded him. "Very well. Keep your secrets, old Jedi. As for me I'll..." What would she do now? Sit in the darkness and wait while eternity spins around her?
Yoda closed his eyes. "Find that which is lost, you will, in the dark and unknown. Look to the edges, Ahsoka, and you may find your purpose."
Ahsoka laughed. The ever cryptic words of a Jedi master. "I'll keep that in mind." Suddenly Ahsoka felt as if a strong current were pulling her away. It was hard to stay anchored in place as time wheeled about her. "Master, I... I can't stay."
"Very well. Farewell, young Ahsoka, I do not think we will speak again. Not so long have I in this life. Proud of you am I, of what you have become."
Ahsoka hesitated, her presence nearly withdrawn. "Thank you, Master Yoda," she whispered, "for everything." Yoda smiled, and his smile warmed the heart of the Torgruta.
She withdrew and again looked around the galaxy, marveling at the paradoxical effects of this trance. Time slipped past, Ahsoka like a river. Surely more than a year had already gone by, and yet in her heart and soul, she felt the effect of that whole year on both herself and the galaxy at large. Ahsoka's entire existence was one of bewildering exhaustion, and her attention aimless looked about the galaxy, but it seemed to help when she focused on a single point. Looking for something else to hold her attention, she noticed another burning star, one that burned with a different light than Yoda's. For here were anger, sadness, and bitterness. She knew this mote of pain: Maul.
He lived, Ahsoka thought bitterly. Even now, he managed to ensnare Ezra and the crew of the Ghost back into his schemes. Curse that pitiful creature. It would have been a mercy to himself, and all who crossed his path had he died long ago. She watched as Maul lured Ezra to Dathomire. And... Obi-wan! So Anakin's master survived Order 66 after all. But what was Obi-wan doing on Tatooine, of all places?
As for Maul, it seemed there truly was nothing in him but vengeance. She followed him closely now, watched as he wandered the Dune Sea, and prayed that he would perish in the sand. Ahsoka watched as Obi-wan merely avoided Maul, knew of his presence and left him to linger. The old Jedi was far above the pathetic wreckage that Maul had become; he had no difficulty hiding his presence from his old foe. This will be the end, Ahsoka thought, Maul will die at last alone in the desert.
And yet the old snake was crafty and lured Ezra back into his story. Ahsoka cursed as Obi-wan came out of hiding to save Ezra from death on the sand. Maul would find him now, and this would be the end, she knew. Their decades of rivalry would be decided.
There was a part of Ahsoka that pitied Maul, that knew him for the desperate, broken creature that he was. And here at the very end, he had come to the one man that could offer him peace. And further, forgiveness. For she saw in the heart of Obi-wan the willingness to do just that. At this she marveled, for how could one forgive any enemy that had done so much evil?
But Maul's heart hardened into bitterness, and he lashed out at Obi-wan. She knew how it would end. Obi-wan baited him into a trap and put him down with one swift stroke. And then he surprised Ahsoka yet again, by catching his adversary before he could hit the ground.
What was in Maul's mind in that moment, when his lifelong foe gave him a mercy at the end of all things and his bitter life was at last laid to rest? All of Maul's schemes and machinations had led him to ruin and despair; and yet here his foe held him at the end in mercy. They exchanged a few words, and Maul was gone.
Ahsoka nearly spoke to Obi-wan then and there but held her tongue. This was not the time. She watched as he buried his foe in an unmarked grave on the Dune Sea. No work of history would remember the end of Maul, but Ahsoka would remember. She knew until the end of her days she would remember the story of Maul and his wasted life.
Then she watched Obi-wan travel to a moisture farm nearby. A young man, near Ezra's age, lived there. Ahsoka did not know him. And yet she did, for she heard his aunt call him Luke. Luke Skywalker. He was strong in the force, and he reminded Ahsoka of his father, Anakin Skywalker. Here it was then: Yoda's hidden hope. When had Padme given birth? Did Anakin know he was a father? This was why Obi-wan sat in a desert, wasting away under tireless suns: he guarded the offspring of his friend.
There was much here to consider, but Ahsoka knew she had to speak to her old friend, if only briefly before she moved on. She let a couple of days slip past to give Obi-wan some time. As she approached him though he surprised her first.
"Hello there!"
This caught her off guard. "Vigilant as ever, I see."
"One doesn't become a gnarled old tree root without being wary. I'm glad to hear from you Ahsoka. I hoped you had survived, naturally, but dared not assume." He paused for a moment. "Although I wonder if perhaps you didn't survive. You come to me now in a most peculiar fashion, much like another friend I have spoken to from old times."
Ahsoka wondered who his other friend was, but laughed to reassure him. "Don't worry about me; I'm still here. Though if I told you where I was and what I've been doing, well... I'm not sure you'd believe me. I know I wouldn't.
"Hmm... Very well. We each have our part to play. I have my road, and you have yours. I am curious, though, how you found me, I have not made myself... easy to find."
Ahsoka simply shrugged through the Force and said, "Maul."
A pained expression took over Obi-wan's face "Oh, so you saw the end of that dreadful business. No, I am glad; your destiny was bound up with his at Mandalore." Obi-wan scratched his beard. "It brings me no happiness though. There was a chance that in the end, he would find sanity. Healing. I had hoped that as the desert took him in death to come upon him at last, to save him and offer him life. But he forced my hand with young Bridger." There was bitterness in his voice, or perhaps it was only sadness.
"He died in my arms Ahsoka. Like my master Qwi-gon, and my beloved Satine, both of whom Maul killed with his own blade. Now I alone am left." Obi-wan paused for a long moment. "What a wretched end to a wretched life. I would have helped him, forgiven him, had he but asked."
"Could you really have forgiven him after... after everything he's done?"
"Well of course," Obi-wan said quickly. "Have we not all done things deemed evil? If one is rueful over the evils they have done, then by the Force, what right have we to deny them forgiveness?"
"Is there forgiveness for Anakin then?" Ahsoka asked gently. This was the real question in her heart.
Obi-wan was quiet for a full minute. "So you know of his fate?"
"Yes. We… met briefly. It wasn't pleasant, though I did slice off part of his helmet."
"My my," Obi-wan chuckled, impressed "Our little Ahsoka has grown powerful indeed if she can get in a hit on the mighty Darth Vader and live to tell the tale."
"Ezra Bridger may have played a part in the last bit."
The old Jedi chuckled. "Why am I not surprised, the boy has a dangerous tendency to wander into other peoples stories, leave his mark upon them, and then move on to the next. Ahsoka, I do not know if there is forgiveness for Anakin." He shook his head "You have trapped me, friend. I was caught speaking in noble platitudes, and then you push me to the hardest application of my preaching. Yes. In theory, but, like Maul, I fear he will never come to repentance. He will not cast off the dark while he yet lives."
"I could not help him, but what of his son?" Ahsoka asked. "Could his son help him? Anakin loved Padme dearly, and a reminder of her might revive a little light."
Obi-wan bowed his head slightly. "So you know of him too. Ahsoka, I cannot say. I have lost all faith in our dear friend. I am glad that you have not, and I hope that you are right. But I cannot foresee such an ending. Can you?"
Ahsoka thought on this for a minute before answering. Could there be any redemption for Vader? Was there any of Anakin left beneath the mask? "I don't know," she said truthfully. "But I will hope. For both of us."
"Then may the Force prove you right, Ahsoka. And now I sense you are beginning to slip away. Thank you. It was good to speak with you. I have had my purpose here as the story of the galaxy slips past me. Some days it is hard not to despair, but knowing you are alright will ease many pains."
Ahsoka smiled, and she knew that Obi-wan could feel her smile through the Force. "Watch over Luke for me, and take care of yourself master."
"You too, young one," Obi-wan winked.
Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "Farewell, old friend," she whispered and retreated back into her communion with the Force. She thought of searching for Anakin, to see where in the wide galaxy he was but knew that it would serve no purpose, and could even be dangerous. No, he was beyond her help now.
Her friends on Atalon caught her attention again as they were driven from their base with heavy losses. She caught her breath as Ezra and Sabine came in the nick of time to save them. She nearly looked away, but a gentle prodding led her to stay, to continue to focus on the crew of the Ghost. Things were happening, and would now come to a head. She hoped it would not come to heartbreak, but she knew otherwise. Ezra had been able to tell her a few details in the short time they had had together.
She watched them return to Lothal, watched them struggle and fail to attack the Defender factory. And then she watched as Kanan gave his life for the ones he loved. In his last moment, as the flames raged around him, she whispered to him a single phrase. "Peace, Caleb Dume." And then he was gone. Ahsoka hung her head in remembrance for a moment, but dare not miss what happened next, as Ezra disappeared into a wall of solid rock at the Jedi Temple.
So there it lay the whole time, beneath our very feet, she thought. The gateway to that field of stars beyond time. She watched as the temple was erased from existence. Good, let Sidious suffer some disappointment.
Perhaps Ezra would now send someone to Malachor for her and Ahsoka's vigil would end. Suddenly she felt in her heart that this wasn't the right course.
In the deep of night, before the Lothal Rebels launched their attack on Capitol City, Ahsoka spoke to the young Jedi. "Ezra," she said softly.
"Ahsoka? I hear you. Are you still on Malachor? Did you make it?"
"I'm fine Ezra. Don't worry about me."
Ezra hesitated. "Who... Who was that in the portal, Ahsoka? I've never felt anything so cold and... Wrong."
Ahsoka thought quietly for a moment unsure of what tell Ezra. He may very well face Sideous again someday and knowledge may save him. "His name is Darth Sidious and he is the Lord of the Sith. There are few who have faced him and lived. Vader is but his servant." Then softly she added. "The galaxy knows him as Emperor Palpatine."
Ezra didn't speak as he mulled this over in his mind. Finally, he said "Kanan always thought that the Emperor was working with the Sith or was their puppet, the way the fall of the Jedi worked in his favor. I guess this makes more sense, huh?"
"It does, and that's partly how I puzzled it out years ago. Do not seek him out. Do not ever confront him. He is a foe far beyond what either of us will ever be prepared to face, Ezra."
"I understand," he said simply.
"Good," Ahsoka said relieved. She had been afraid some prideful part of him would argue. "But there is another reason I came to you, Ezra. You haven't yet told anyone that we met beyond the portal?" Ahsoka asked.
"No, I didn't really want to talk to Hera or the others about seeing Kanan, about why Kanan didn't come back with me," Ezra said, a guilty tone in his voice. "I thought it would bring up too much grief. Rex should be here soon. I was going to let him know."
"I think keeping it quiet was wise." She sighed. "Ezra, don't tell Rex either. My destiny is here on Malachor for now. Someday that will change, but if you told Rex he'd..."
"He'd be on the first spaceworthy ship to Malachor," Ezra grinned. "Rex is loyal to his Jedi. Alright, Ahsoka it looks like we both have our paths to walk in the dark. I hope the others can forgive me."
This wasn't expected. "Ezra. What's going to happen? What do you have planned?"
"Something crazy. There are several ways this could end here on Lothal, but each passing day the future seems to resolve down to the one I least want to take."
Ahsoka regarded Ezra. "Perhaps if you told the others what was going to happen you wouldn't have to ask forgiveness..."
"Hera wouldn't understand. The Force has already taken one of her Jedi from her, and it's about to take the other. And Sabine...? Well, she trusts me and she'd let me go, but I don't want her to worry about me. And I... I can't really face her; there's a lot I've left unsaid to her, and... It's not the time." Ahsoka smiled knowingly; she knew what that meant. "No, I'll ask forgiveness on the other side. Ahsoka? Don't forget about your promise to come find me when the time is right." He laughed shortly.
"I won't Ezra Bridger. And I think I know a young woman who will be itching to join me."
Ezra blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe. Take care, Ahsoka. And thanks. For everything."
"May the Force be with you on your long journey, Ezra."
Ahsoka withdrew and prepared to watch as the fate of Lothal was decided. True to his word Ezra told no one of his plans, though Sabine was suspicious. In this one point, Ahsoka doubted Ezra's wisdom. Ezra, can't you see how much she worries for you, how much she cares for you?
The purgill came and spirited the wreckage of the 7th fleet, along with Ezra, somewhere far away. Ahsoka tried to follow, but they moved so far, so fast that even she, from her vantage point above it all, lost them. Somewhere towards unknown space. She turned her attention there, and a cold malice shocked her. The region was veiled from her, for reasons she could not decipher. What lay out there in the unknown? Was this why Ezra rode along with the purgill? What destiny did the Force have in mind for him?
Perhaps this was the dark unknown, the edges that Yoda spoke about, and Ezra seemed to be that which was lost. Very well Ezra Bridger, someday I will come find you, Ahsoka thought.
This thought was interrupted when an unimaginable pain smote her consciousness. Ahsoka recoiled in horror and tried to draw back from the Force, for fear that in its anguish it would kill her. The passage of time seemed to stop, the wheeling of planets slowed to their rightful place, as if the Force itself was in agony. Ahsoka sat dimly in the dark, in pain, and suffering for a cause she did not know.
And then she saw it. A hole in the force, where once two billion lives had been. She saw the Death Star and knew that the galaxy's darkest days had come. She wept for the loss of her old friend Bail Organa and his wife, Breha. In despair, Ahsoka bowed her head and wished for the end of days to come upon them all, if only death would take Sidious as well.
Dimly she saw that Obi-wan had roused from his watch with Luke under his wing. She didn't care. What could anyone do against such reckless hate? Anakin killed Obi-wan, and she barely blinked. How could one mourn a single loss, even a friend, with the slaughter that was to come? The Death Star loomed over a rebel base, and Ahsoka cursed the day she was born.
And then the Death Star turned briefly into a brilliant star, destroyed by the son of Anakin Skywalker. Ahsoka felt a single tear running down her face. Hidden hope indeed. But now she grieved for Obi-wan's death, for the injustice of his own apprentice and dear friend striking him down. In that single moment, she came close to hating Anakin, before she was able to take back control of her emotions. To hate Anakin only made her like him, something she would never allow.
But then she felt a touch upon her consciousness from somewhere else. Obi-wan from within the Cosmic Force. How was that possible? She felt a moment of mirth from him as he slipped back away from her.
More mysteries she would have to pursue later; time did not wait for her. She no longer followed the crew of the Ghost much; their story had ended for now, and they had gone in several directions. Hera stayed with the Alliance as a General, and Zeb and her dear friend Rex led commando squads against the Empire. Sabine stayed on Lothal to protect it for Ezra, at last wearing her heart on her sleeve for all to see. Oh, Sabine, she thought, he will not return until we go to him. Spend well your time on Lothal, and rebuild the home of our lost friend.
Ahsoka now followed Luke almost exclusively, since it seemed the fates of all were wound with his. Oh, how he struggled with no one to teach him. Why did Yoda not come to him? What was the plan here? As years passed he accomplished much, but he knew nothing of his true power, his true heritage. Was letting him struggle blindly against the Empire part of the plan? Perhaps Yoda didn't know what happened to Obi-wan? Perhaps she should...
Then she watched him nearly die in a wampa attack on Hoth. As he lay freezing, dying in the snow, Obi-wan came to him, sending him to Yoda. At last, she thought. As Obi-wan faded from Luke's perception, he turned to Ahsoka and winked, then faded from her own sight. She laughed, she would have to be careful if she wished to remain unseen.
As Yoda trained Luke, Ahsoka kept her distance; she had already said her goodbyes to the old master. She also began to hope that with proper training Luke would turn into the Jedi he was destined to be. But it happened that Luke had much of Anakin in him. He was impatient, reckless and stayed on Dagobah but a short while. He rushed to confront Vader against the wishes of Obi-wan and Yoda. Oh, Luke, she thought, you're not ready to face him, you don't even know who you are!
And Luke did face him. Vader toyed with him for a time, then easily maimed him. This is the end, Ahsoka thought: Vader will kill his own son. But then something happened that she did not expect: Vader knew. Somehow he knew that Luke was his son. And she saw his dark and malicious thought, that he would twist his son, overthrow the emperor, and rule the galaxy. How very Sith-like.
But Luke would not be swayed and chose death over the dark side. Ahsoka nearly cheered for him. And through the will of the Force, he lived and escaped to fight another day.
Ahsoka lost interest in Luke for a time, for a strange change had come over Vader. Was it regret, shame? She could not tell, but for a moment she sensed some of Anakin. She followed her old master, careful not to impinge upon his awareness. There was no doubt that his brush with Luke had changed him. It was a subtle thing, like so many important changes. He was less apt to anger, less prone to rashness, and more prone to introspection.
Ahsoka began to hope, hope that somehow Luke would reach through to Anakin, that Luke would succeed where she had failed. Distantly she became aware that things were drawing to a close, that the Empire had constructed a second Death Star. And now all the pieces came together in a battle the scale of which hadn't been seen since the Clone Wars.
In a panic, Ahsoka sought out Luke again. Here he comforted his friend, the Princess of Alderaan, Bail's daughter, Leia Organa. It seemed they were brother and sister, and Ahsoka laughed. Of course, Bail had been in on the conspiracy. Yoda, Obi-wan, and Bail. What a twist of fate to reveal in the final hour. But Luke, oh Luke! He was going to surrender to Vader, his faith firm in his father's goodness. Ahsoka hoped, no doubt, but Luke's faith... It was absolute.
Ahsoka did not know if that would be enough. And for a time it seemed that Luke's faith had betrayed him, and Vader brought Luke before Sidious.
There at Endor, the fates of the galaxy were decided; a battle in the forest, a battle in orbit, and a battle for the heart and soul of one man: Anakin Skywalker. The histories of this time inevitably wound their way towards the once hero, now villain. The soul of that one man stood balanced upon a single point, as the Lord of the Sith gleefully inflicted pain upon Anakin's son.
Ahsoka held her breath, feeling the conflict within Vader, feeling Anakin rising from his great slumber, trying to wrestle decades of chains off of his soul. He wanted to be free. He wanted release.
He wanted the forgiveness that his son offered.
But the darkness was deep and had reigned sovereign over Anakin for long. He wavered at the precipice, looking back and forth between his Emperor and his Son.
Ahsoka whispered to him, "Save him, Anakin."
Anakin awakened fully. Wrapping his arms around the Sith, lightning coursing through his mechanized body, he threw the foul creature to its death. Anakin collapsed, already dying, his life support systems irreversibly damaged, his breathing apparatus laboring to draw air into his broken body. Darth Vader was dead, and Anakin Skywalker would soon follow.
Ahsoka awoke from her deep trance. Morai stood in front of her looking at her questioningly. Ahsoka carefully stood, wary of her aching limbs. She did not know how much timed had passed in her heightened meditative state. Years she knew, but she had lost count along the way. She was ravenously thirsty and hungry. She found her canteen filled with stale and tepid water, but drank it anyway, and quickly pulled the wrapper off of her last two ration bars and began to eat them.
"That was quite a journey you took me on, Morai. I trust there will be a way to leave this rock since you roused me?" Morai fluttered away as if to lead her on. "Soon. Let me eat and rest a moment. At this rate, you'll be the death of me."
Ahsoka tried to comprehend what she had just experienced. Years in what seemed minutes or hours? And yet in truth, she felt the whole weight of those years upon her, body, mind and soul. One does not watch the whirling of the stars and trillions of souls from such a perspective and remain unchanged. Ahsoka thought that perhaps unscathed was a better word. She wasn't sure if her experience would be a gift or a burden.
Oh, Anakin, Ahsoka thought, the image of his broken body engraved in her memory. May your soul find peace in the Force. She bowed her head and did her best to merely rest her weary spirit.
After Ahsoka had eaten and recovered, she followed the green and white convor deep into the complex. She passed down a dark tunnel and stairs she had explored only once before. A cold, murky river led through the depths. In her early explorations she had stopped here, but now Morai led her on. The water was cold, but Ahsoka waded through the dark water until she reached another stair ascending.
At last Morai reached a solid wall. The wall had three hands carved into its face: one extended to the side, one extended upwards, and one held into a fist. Morai fluttered around the one extended to the side. Ahsoka touched it questioningly, then reached into the Force. She felt the mechanism, activated it and watched in wonder as the carvings lit, moved, changed. From several directions new carvings appeared, wolf-like creatures that gathered around the wall. All at once they formed a circle, chasing each other endlessly. Morai alighted on the Torgruta's shoulder.
"A gateway." Ahsoka mused. "Very well. Though I suspect I know where this will lead. I hope there aren't too many more of these scattered around the galaxy, though I guess I shouldn't be surprised to find one here..." She stepped through the gateway of wolves into the other place, into a field of endless stars and bridges to untold portals.
Ahsoka shuddered. The nature of this place and its implications gave her a thrill of terror. There was a mystery here, in how the Force was connected to all of space and time; perhaps it was their very fabric, the thing from which they were derived. Voices murmured in the dark, some she knew, most she didn't. This place could perhaps take her anywhere, perhaps any time, but a sudden fear took her.
"Morai, I cannot use this gateway. Who will close it behind me on Malachor? I cannot leave it open behind me." The convor softly cooed and lifted off, flying twice around Ahsoka and then back into the gateway behind her. It closed swiftly and disappeared. "Well, that answers that question. Until next time, friend." Ahsoka knew where she wished to go. As for when? She only wished for now. She would not alter the course of time.
Her destination in mind, she suddenly knew which gateway was the correct one. She began to walk across the bridges, taking each intersection as if the way forward were only natural. Ahsoka laughed as she took curved and arched bridges at impossible angles. There was no up and down; this place obeyed its own laws. At last, she saw her destination, the gateway she knew would take her to the place she desired. She confidently strode across the final bridge.
"Ahsoka," a voice said softly behind her. This was not one of the voices in the dark. This was a clear and present voice; a voice she had last heard from behind a damaged mask, riddled with hate.
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. A part of her longed for closure and knew that this meeting was destined to happen. And what better place for it to happen then beyond all time and space, where past and future were meaningless conjectures. Another part of her hardly dared to confront him. She knew deep down, though, what she must do.
Ahsoka turned to face Anakin. He stood across the bridge, a hazy image of blue. "Hello, Anakin. It's been a long time."
Anakin's face twisted in grief and pain. Regret. "I don't... I don't deserve the right to see you, let alone speak with you and..." He bowed his head and appeared to weep. There were mysteries here, Ahsoka realized. Mysteries that drove at the core of the self and the Cosmic Force. She would ponder these later. Now... Now there was only Anakin, her old friend, and Master.
"Anakin," she said softly and walked towards him.
"Stay away," he said. "Please."
Ahsoka paused and remembered Maul, that twisted, wretched creature, who arrived at the right place at the end, only to reject forgiveness and the light. But Anakin wasn't Maul. His very presence here was proof of this.
"Anakin. I forgive you."
There was silence for a full minute before Anakin looked up at her and stepped back a pace. "I didn't ask for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it."
Ahsoka laughed. "I think that's the point of forgiveness She stepped toward him again. "I offer it freely. As your friend. And as someone who loves you."
Anakin didn't answer. She walked to him, wondering if she could touch him if he could feel her. Curious to know the answer she carefully reached out and took his hands. They felt thin, indistinct, but somehow also warm and full of life. A curious paradox, she thought. She brought his hands together and clasped them in her own. "I never stopped believing you would come home, Anakin."
Finally, Anakin raised his head to look her in the eyes. His tears stopped for a moment, and he pulled her into an embrace. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Ahsoka. For everything. For letting the order abandon you. For what I've become. For what I've done. This isn't... This isn't what I meant to happen..."
"I know," she said giving comfort to her old master. "And yet here we stand, beyond time and death. I'm glad to be here with you." She laughed as tears rolled down her own face. "How many are given a chance at reconciliation after death?"
Suddenly Anakin smirked, a bit of his old boastful humor reappearing, "Well when you're the chosen one, there are a few perks."
Ahsoka pulled away from his embrace and rolled her eyes at him lazily. How long had it been since she'd been able to do that? "Keep dreaming, Skyguy." They both laughed, and suddenly Ahsoka felt the years fade from her. Here and now she felt young again; like all the years of darkness had never happened.
Anakin grinned. "Okay, maybe that was pushing things a bit, but I wasn't entirely kidding."
She paused and considered him. "You destroyed Sidious. The thousand year line of the Sith, established by Darth Bane, is gone. You... You actually were the chosen one." She couldn't believe it. He'd finally done the thing he was born to do.
Anakin nodded solemnly "There will be no more Sith. The most powerful and longest enduring dark side cult is ended."
"Huh," Ahsoka said. "Better late than never. You sure took your time about it."
Her master's face was filled with shame. "I finished what I started, what I should have done over twenty years ago. But I can't... I can't bear to talk about the past, Ahsoka."
"Then let's look to the future."
"Have you met... Have you met either of my children?" Anakin asked hesitantly.
Ahsoka smiled. "I first met Leia when she was a little girl and saw her off and on through the years. She certainly turned into a fierce one. I'm pretty sure she didn't get much of you and has mostly Padme in her. And Luke, well we haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, though I have kept my eye on him these last few years."
Anakin closed his eyes. "Leia will never forgive me, I fear. Not that I can blame her; I personally caused her great pain and stood by as Tarkin destroyed the world she grew up on. She has every right to want nothing to do with me or my memory. But Luke... Ahsoka will you do something for me?"
"You know I will."
"Tell Luke about me, before the mask, before I became a monster. Tell him about the things we did. The adventures we had. Tell him about the real me. Please."
Ahsoka smiled widely. "Already planning on it."
"Thank you." Anakin cleared his throat, a humorous gesture for a spirit. "Leave out the embarrassing things if you would."
"Oh, I'm telling him how many times the legendary Anakin Skywalker was saved from certain death by his Padawan. You're not getting off that easy."
"Yeah, I guess I deserve that," Anakin mused. "I have two things I am supposed to tell you, Ahsoka, before I go. First, Yoda wanted me to remind you to heed his advice."
"Look to the edges. Find that which was lost," Ahsoka repeated.
"Ah yes, he still speaks in riddles," Anakin said raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know; it seems kind of fun. I think I'll try it with Luke. See how he takes it." Ahsoka raised an eyebrow mischievously.
"Oh, now don't you start too. Speaking in riddles is purely the realm of Jedi Masters, and I seem to remember that you aren't a Jedi." Ahsoka just laughed and shrugged. She didn't care so much about those distinctions anymore. Anakin continued. "So do you know what Yoda was talking about?"
Ahsoka paused. "Probably. Ezra Bridger is lost out somewhere in Unknown Space. Someone has to go find him, and it seems that task falls to me."
"Well, when you find him, apologize to him for me, will you? I owe him a lightsaber," Anakin laughed.
"I'll do that. What's the other thing you were supposed to tell me?"
"Yoda told me that there is a place deep in the core teeming with life. Yoda called the Wellspring of Life. He said you might know it. You're to go there for further training," he said.
Ahsoka thought back to the planet she had seen early in her meditation. She'd felt the active wills on the surface, and they had been curious at her passing. I wonder what this is about, Ahsoka thought. This ought to prove interesting. "I know of it, and I'll do it."
Dimly Ahsoka was aware their time was coming to an end. She didn't know what arcane rules governed such meetings, didn't really care. All she knew is that they were taking Anakin away from her again.
He must have felt it too. He looked at his feet again and said softly. "I wish things had been different. I could have left the order, walked away from it all. Settled on Naboo, in the lake country with Padme." Anakin chuckled. "You could have joined us. Luke and Leia could have used a doting Aunt. You could have even married that Lex guy," he smiled wryly.
Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "His name was Lux, and last I checked on him years ago he was happily married."
"Could have been you. Just saying."
"Uh huh..." Ahsoka said with an eyebrow raised.
Now they were out of time.
"I'm proud of you, Ahsoka."
She smiled. "I'm proud of you too."
Anakin eyes widened. "I'm not sure I've done anything to..."
"For coming home at last," Ahsoka interrupted.
Anakin smiled softly. "Thank you for not giving up hope on me." His blue tinged image began to waver, dissolve and become indistinct. "May the Force be with you Snips."
"I still hate that nickname, Anakin. And farewell, master."
"That's why I use it!" he laughed. "Oh, and tell Rex I said hello." And then he was gone.
Ahsoka wiped away the tears streaming down her face. He was gone, forever this time, but not into the darkness he had been lost in for so many years. She stood quietly for a moment, in that sea of endless stars, committing every part of their conversation to memory so that she could cherish her last encounter with her old master.
Here in a place where there was no past and no future, only an eternal now, Ahsoka laid her burdens to rest. She would preserve the memory of these things, the joy of being Anakin's Padawan, the horrors of the Clone Wars, her expulsion from the Order, and the sorrow of Anakin's fall; but no longer would their shadow determine who she was. She had survived the end of an age, outlasted an empire, and now would live to see the next age of the galaxy.
Ahsoka Tano knew herself at last, and it was time to leave this place.
She turned towards the portal and confidently stepped through onto a forested moon and into an encampment of Rebel soldiers. She tapped one on the shoulder. "Rex, it's good to see you."
The old clone nearly jumped out of his skin. "What in the...?! Who are.." He stopped and stared in disbelief. "Ahsoka!?"
"It's a long story, and I promise I'll tell you the whole thing. But Rex...? I feel like I haven't eaten in years. Please tell me you have some food around here? Oh, and before I forget: Anakin says hello."
The old clone stared at her in disbelief, and then joy as he threw his arms around his oldest friend, laughing like a madman.
Two days later Ahsoka Tano and Luke Skywalker met at the prescribed clearing in the forest. The remains of a fire still smoldered in the middle of the clearing. Ahoska could see a few warped remains of Vader's armor in the ashes, including a skull-like helmet. Luke stood with his hands behind his back, staring into the remains.
As she approached, he spoke. "Rex told me about you when we first met, over a year ago. He thought you were dead. And of course, at the time I didn't know what my father had become. Rex still doesn't know and will never know unless you tell him."
Ahsoka approached and stood beside the young man regarding him. He really was a lot like Anakin, quieter and more serious perhaps, but still prone to that Skywalker recklessness. She had watched him long and knew him well. "I don't have the heart to tell him. He remembers only a loving friend and loyal General."
Luke considered this. "That's for the best I think." He turned to face her. "I have much to ask you, but I sense you only have a little time."
Ahsoka nodded. "I have today. And then I must leave on another journey. But I will return in a few months, and then we will talk for as long as you wish." Ahsoka thought ahead to her coming journeys, to the Wellspring of Life and then to Unknown Space to find Ezra and come to his aid in whatever it was the Force had sent him there for. She would find time between these two tasks for Luke. There was much he needed know, knowledge and wisdom she could pass on so that the Order he built someday would not repeat the mistakes of the last one.
"Very well," Luke said. He walked over to the stump of a tree and sat. "Tell me. What was my father like? You knew him better than anyone else still alive." Suddenly the mask of maturity melted away from Luke's visage, leaving a simple boyish curiosity.
Ahsoka smiled, for Luke truly did remind her of her master. "Anakin Skywalker was the greatest hero in an age of heroes. There was no one like him, and there never will be again..."
Author's note: I hope you liked this! This was a lot of fun to write, and let me get into a lot of the deeper aspects of Star Wars mythology. Do I think this is what WILL actually happen in Canon? No. But I did try to make it as Canon-friendly as possible. I'm sure someone will find something to nitpick.
It's fascinating how central the idea of redemption is to Star Wars. The core arc of the prequels and original trilogy are the fall and redemption of Anakin. Anakin was redeemed, not because he somehow was able to atone for his crimes or make them right, but because Luke loved him and was willing to forgive him. (Before someone says we never hear Luke say he loved Anakin, roll it back. Going to certain death for a family member because you care about their ultimate fate IS an act of love. Luke DID love Anakin. Not a point I'll bend on)
Anyway, it was fun to play with the idea of forgiveness through these important Star Wars characters. Yoda craved Ahsoka's forgiveness. Obi-wan was willing to forgive Maul but struggled with if Anakin could be forgiven. Ezra perhaps needing it when he sees his family again. And of course Ahsoka's ultimate forgiveness of Anakin.
I hope you enjoyed it and look forward to your reviews! If you enjoyed this check out my other stuff, it's a bit less of mystical and serious and a lot heavier on the romance.