Stepping Out

Gwen had kissed him!

Well, at the time, she'd implied that it was just the relief of finding him alive but, now he came to think back to their previous interactions and all her nervous, slightly backhanded compliments, it dawned on Merlin, rather belatedly, that Morgana's maid might actually have some romantic feelings towards him.

He winced as he remembered how he'd so obviously drooled over Morgana and the girl he'd thought was Cara, and how uncomfortable that must have made her feel. It wasn't as if he didn't think Gwen was pretty, he did - truly. It was just that he had always felt so comfortable in her company, that he hadn't thought of her in a romantic light at all.

Which was daft really because, honestly, how many chances at a love life was someone like him going to get anyway? He really shouldn't let such an opportunity slip away.

So, the following day, Merlin made a special point of seeking her out.

"Gwen, about the other day?" he began. "When you… kissed me."

"Oh that, I'm sorry, Merlin it's just... as I said..."

"I liked it."

"What?"

"The kiss. I said it was fine but … actually, I really liked it."

"Oh."

"So, I thought, if you wanted to, we could spend some time together. Well, I'm not sure how easy it will be for either of us to find some free time but, perhaps I could cook for you or we could go for a walk if the weather's nice or..."

"...Merlin," she interrupted.

"It's a bad idea, isn't it?"

"No, I think it's a lovely idea," she beamed, "and it shouldn't be difficult to persuade Morgana, but how will you manage to get the time off?"

"Oh, I'll just tell Arthur that Gaius needs me," he replied instantly, prompting Gwen to give him a very suspicious look.

"You're used that excuse before, haven't you?"

"What me?" he replied innocently. "Gwen, you know I would never do something like that?" His serious expression quickly faltered as she burst out laughing in response.

~o~0~o~

A couple more days had passed before an ideal opportunity presented itself and Merlin was pleased to note that it was warm and sunny that day with no hint of rain clouds in the sky. He met Gwen at her house in the lower town as arranged, one slightly wilted bunch of flowers clutched nervously in his hands.

"I thought, as it's a lovely day, we could go for a walk?" he suggested as she took them off him.

"Of course, if you're sure you're feeling strong enough – after your illness, I mean," she clarified.

"Oh, that." He gave her one of his brightest smiles. "I'm fine now and a day out in the fresh air and sunshine will do me a world of good, I'm sure."

In fact, he knew it would be more of a help than a hindrance to his recovery; Merlin had always felt especially content when surrounded by trees and nature.

Gwen slipped briefly into the house to put the flowers in water and then the pair were off, walking and talking about what they had done that morning with a great deal of ease.

"So, how are you coping with Arthur now?" Gwen asked. "I have to admit that I was surprised that he went on that quest to find a cure for you."

"So was I," Merlin admitted, "But, I suppose, for someone like Arthur, it was a good excuse to go on an adventure."

"You do yourself an injustice, Merlin," Gwen disagreed. "He went against his father, even got put in a cell, just because he wanted to save your life."

Merlin pulled a face. "Doesn't seem like Arthur at all, does it?"

"No, it really doesn't and I've known him for a long time." She shrugged. "Who knows, perhaps he's actually starting to grow up."

"Never!" Merlin replied with a laugh, moving a little closer to her. They had now left the lower town and so he decided to push his luck and draped an arm around her shoulder as casually as he could. Her eyes widened in surprised at the move but she didn't object, instead ducking her head shyly before moving slightly closer to him and putting an arm around his waist in response.

~o~0~o~

Merlin suggested that they walked into the nearby woodlands and, once there, Gwen was certain she saw a sudden change in the young man. His pale skin seemed to gain more colour, his tired eyes brightened and his step became even lighter. Soon after they'd entered the canopy he'd dropped his arm from her shoulder and scurried off towards a bush. He returned almost immediately sporting a huge grin and moved his hand towards her face so quickly that she instructively stepped back in alarm.

"Eat!" he commanded. "They're very sweet." She blinked to focus her vision and realised he was offering her a blackberry. Closer inspection of his face revealed lips slightly darkened with juice as he smiled encouragingly, offering the fruit to her again.

She ate it straight from his fingers and his eyes lit up as she nodded her approval of the taste. Then, giving her a broad and delighted smile, Merlin quickly turned around and bounded off in a different direction.

"Make yourself comfortable. I won't be long," he called back over his shoulder.

Gwen perched on a nearby fallen tree, smiling to herself as she caught glimpses of a dark head and red shirt flashing between the branches. She tipped her head back and let her surroundings wash over her, enjoying the feel of the dappled sun on her face and listening to the natural woodland music playing all around her.

It wasn't long before he was back, with his neck uncharacteristically bare and his neckerchief cradled in his hands. He sad down next to her with an infectious smile, his longer legs allowing him to create a lap, on which he opened his scarf with a flourish to reveal a tasty selection of treats; fruits, nuts and mushrooms.

"I get a lovely walk and a banquet," Gwen enthused. "I am indeed being spoilt this afternoon."

"Help yourself," he urged, but she just shook her head, pointing to her lips and inviting him to feed her again. Merlin's eyes widened and the atmosphere between them shifted subtly, suddenly became more intimate. He held her gaze as he fed her the next blackberry and Gwen felt her heart start to race as she took the fruit into her mouth and practically kissed his fingers in the process. His eyes widened further and his pale cheeks instantly coloured as she ate the fruit very slowly and carefully, her eyes never leaving his.

Merlin was the one to break the contact, giving an embarrassed cough as he lowered his gaze to the tasty collection on his lap and taking longer than necessary to choose his own morsel.

"Ah, did Morgana question your time off?" he asked then, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

"No, I'm afraid she instantly guessed why I was asking."

"Oh yes, she did seem to think that we were stepping out… I mean, even before we actually were."

Gwen grinned. "I admit that I didn't discourage her theory, even before today."

"Oh … right."

"Although I fear I'm a poor substitute for the real object of your affections," she pushed.

"W-what?" he asked nervously.

"Well, you've hardly kept your feelings for Morgana a secret from me, after all."

"Oh, yes … sorry about that."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Merlin. You're hardly in the minority within Camelot."

He winced. "I imagine not."

"And, of course, after the other day, some of the gossip is now suggesting you have another admirer." She kept her comment light and Merlin picked up on the tone instantly, giving her a suspicious look.

"W-what do you mean?"

"You deliberately drinking that poison for Arthur. The prince defying his father's wrath just to save you. True love, some are saying."

"What!" Gwen burst out laughing and Merlin's responding look of shock was so amusing that she found herself quite unable to stop. "I really hope you are joking," Merlin grumbled as she continued to giggle.

"I'm sorry, that was mean of me to tease you. Especially after you've treated me to such a lovely afternoon."

"Well, I suppose it was worth it to see you smile and laugh," he conceded. "Not that you don't do that often anyway, of course, but it's always good to see it more."

Her heart leapt at his words. "You are a very special person, Merlin," she said, resting a gentle hand on his arm. "I consider myself lucky to be your friend."

There was another pause then as his eyes dropped to the hand that now lingered on his shirt. There was that same shift in the air and it felt a little strange, as if any move towards romance seemed less comfortable then when they were just being friends. Gwen felt her heart beat faster as Merlin moved fractionally closer and couldn't help remembering the feel on his lips on hers when she'd kissed him in Gaius' chambers, now desperate to repeat the experience.

Unfortunately it seemed that the pause had lasted a little too long and the moment was suddenly lost as Merlin pulled away, jumping to his feet.

"Are you cold?" he asked, "I'm sure you must be cold."

It was late afternoon now and here, under the cover of the trees, the temperature was definitely dropping rapidly.

"A little," she admitted. "Perhaps we could build a small fire whilst we finish off the food."

"Let's build two!" he replied gleefully and she gave him a confused look. "A competition," he continued, his eyes sparkling. "To see who can light theirs the fastest."

"I know you grew up in the country, Merlin, but I am a blacksmith's daughter remember?"

"Afraid you'll loose?" he teased.

"You're picking up some bad habits from Arthur, I think," she decided. "I'm quite sure you didn't arrive here that competitive."

"Oh, you're wrong there, I'm afraid," he replied with a shrug. "I'm more of a perfectionist than I appear. Well? Do you want to try and beat me?"

She laughed at his hopeful expression and found herself quite unable to resist the pathetic look. So, within a surprisingly short space of time, the pair had a small, identical stack of wood and kindling on the forest floor, just a couple of feet apart. Now both feeling highly competitive, the two crouched next to their pile, flint and stone in hand, both eyeing each other up across the small distance.

"Your count," Merlin invited.

Gwen eyed him suspiciously, suspecting some deception until he nodded to confirm the advantage. "Three, two, one … Go!"

She turned her eyes to the fire and struck the flint a couple of times, a small spark instantly dropping down onto her kindling. Delighted at the speed, she leant forward slightly, ready to urge the flames into life. The fire caught and was just starting to build when she heard a loud crackle to her right and glanced over. Her mouth dropped opened in shock as she saw Merlin's fire already blazing merrily away next to her.

"Impossible," she whispered.

Merlin grinned. "I may not know much about armour, but fire lighting is my speciality."

"Obviously." She turned back to see hers was now catching nicely too and soon he'd sidled closer to her on his knees, offering her a mushroom on a small twig.

"Sorry, do you forgive me?" he asked as he turned the tiny spit over the flames.

"Not easily," she replied sternly, catching his gaze and hoping he saw that she wasn't entirely serious. "I think you need to offer me rather more than a half cooked mushroom to earn my forgiveness." She then shifted towards him until their knees touched and saw his surprised reaction to her move. He licked his lips and she smiled encouragingly, leaning towards him again.

"Ah ..?" He seemed nervous and uncertain.

"I do believe it is your turn," she pushed.

Merlin's lips twitched with the tiniest of smiles before moving his head to close the remaining distance between them. Gwen kept her eyes open until she saw his long, dark eyelashes flickering shut and then copied the move, holding her breath until she felt his soft lips gently touch hers in a feather-light kiss that made her insides flip alarmingly.

He pulled away, only to return with another couple of kisses which were almost frustrating in their delicateness. Gwen then hooked a hand around the back of Merlin's neck and pulled him closer, forcing him into a firmer kiss– much like the one she'd given him the other day. He relaxed a little then but she still felt he was holding back somehow, still nervous or shy or perhaps just too much of a gentleman to risk letting himself lose control.

It was then she fully understood that this young man was not the open book he seemed. He had hidden depths and layers that would take years to unravel. Of course, Gwen had known from the start that he was something rather more than he appeared but this new revelation unsettled her, all the same.

Merlin ended the kiss then, pulling a way with a gentle smile and his cheeks burning as brightly as their two small fires.

"I should walk you home now," he commented quietly. "It's getting late."

"Yes," she agreed, looking up at the patches of sky visible through the branches of the tree. "We certainly won't be able to escape our evening duties."

~o~0~o~

They walked back holding hands in silence as they both became lost in their own thoughts and Merlin struggled to understand what it was he was feeling at that moment. The second kiss had been even better although, considering the circumstances of the first, that probably wasn't too difficult. All the same, every time he and Gwen started to become intimate it was as if they lost more than they gained. Was it not possible to be friends and lovers? He was quite sure that it should be.

As the couple approached the outskirts of the lower town, Merlin dropped her hand in order to shake out his slightly juice stained scarf and re-tie it around his neck. As he suspected, the move seemed to trigger another shift in their mood and their conversation quickly restarted and then accelerated until, by the time they'd reached the castle gate entrance, it seemed as if they were back to being just Gwen and Merlin - Morgana and Arthur's servants - Best friends.

As they reached the base of the stairs that lead to her mistress' chambers the pair were giggling uncontrollably- laughing at yet another joke at Arthur's expense.

Then there was that pause again.

"I should go," Gwen mumbled.

"Yes," Merlin agreed, looking at his boots.

The silence briefly returned until her expression suddenly brightened. "Thank you for a lovely afternoon, Merlin. I really enjoyed it."

"So did I." He bit his lip. "We should do it again sometime."

Gwen looked up at him with her large, dark eyes and nodded slowly. "We should," she replied cautiously.

He held her gaze for a moment longer until her expression started to relax into an amused smile. Merlin blinked slowly before returned it; a private joke that only they two of them were privy to. An understanding somehow reached without the need for words.

"There you are, Merlin!"

He jumped at the sound of Arthur's voice and turned around guiltily, aware that Gwen had now started to ascend the stairs.

"I was just on my way," he started to explain.

"And where have you been exactly?" the prince asked with a wicked grin, his eyes quite obviously flicking upwards towards Gwen's retreating figure.

"Out collecting supplies, as I said," he replied.

"Funny that, because Gaius has just spoken to me about needing you to go out tomorrow to collect mushrooms. In fact, he seemed rather surprised when I wondered why you couldn't do that today while you were already out there."

"Well, I ..."

Arthur grinned and clapped a hand on Merlin's shoulder almost flooring him in the process. "I quite understand, Merlin, and I'll forgive you just this once. Don't make a habit of it, will you?"

"No, Sire," he replied with a sigh. "I don't expect I shall."

~o~0~o~

A/N: So, when asked to write about a 'first time' for 'The Heart of Camelot' Valentine Challenge, I decided to pick a ship I don't usually focus on. Merwen is SO cute!

As I was planning this fic and deciding it would happen 'off-stage' between Series 1 eps 4 & 5, I quickly realised that it would make a perfect prequel to my new Mergana fic which will explore their relationship between the episodes. My research showed that I couldn't justify any serious Mergana before the Lancelot ep, mostly because Morgana's still shipping Merwen at that time, but I quickly realised that I could use this as a spring board to the new story.

So, my Poll is now closed. The Mergana fic 'All Our Secrets' won with 25 votes, the post Camlann fic moved into a late second place with 15 and third is the Welsh fic, 'The Tricoloured Dragon' (Google says it's 'Y Tri Lliw Ddraig' in Welsh which is cool!). I've currently writing notes on the two that were leading a couple of weeks ago, but will definitely get around to the others at some point.

So, after this one-shot, Merlin's already pulling away whilst Gwen is still a little hopeful but, the next day, Merlin goes out picking mushrooms and Lancelot saves him from a Griffin. After that episode, Gwen realises that her feelings for Merlin aren't as strong as she thought and then ...

... well, you'll just have to wait and see :D