While reading this, to add the intended feeling, please listen to either:

The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance

or

Everytime - Britney Spears

Preferably start with Everytime then switch, the Ghost of You is good for the ending.

Destiny of Doom

He stared down into her eyes, the windows to her soul. She was scared, most definitely. Her small frame quivered, almost violently, but all he could see were those chocolate eyes. She stared back into his eyes, her eyes never deviating from his. The moment seemed so perfect. The rain had drenched their clothes completely, making her figure, the one she always tired to hide under bigger clothes, visible. Bella's hair was matted to her head screening parts of her face, but her eyes could never be hidden.

The wind picked up around them, making a soft moaning sound. Bella's hair lifted, sending her scent hurtling towards to Edward. The fire burned his throat, but seeing the same fiery passion in her eyes distracted him.

Her presence killed him, but at the same time it was the only relief he ever had. He smelt her skin changing color before he saw it. The blood began to build up under the thin layer of skin covering her cheeks, turning it to a light shade of pink, his now favorite color. His extra vigilant eyes allowed him to see the cause of this sudden blush. Under the rain there was another source of wetness, one that smelled of salt. Her eyes recently so bright and clear were now blurred creating deep pools of chocolate.

He had a sudden overwhelming urge to crush her face to his own and keep it there for the rest of…forever. A pressure was beginning to form beneath his lips for three reasons. The greatest urge being to kiss her and never again letting go of her. Second, he could hear the sound of her blood pulsating through her veins and it tempted him beyond belief. Last he needed to say something, it was something that could flow effortlessly off his tongue, but still mean the world to him.

"I love you," he finally had the courage to say. "I always have and always will."

He listened to his words echo through the forest as they were swept up by the wind. He waited for her to react, a small indication that she even knew the feeling behind the words, but her lips never moved. The tears began to flow with an impeding strength. Soon after sobs began to rip through her chest, as the noise reverberated through the trees. It tortured him.

She closed her eyes, and they remained closed for minutes. But with Bella time meant nothing, it was living the moment every second. Even in her moment of extreme sadness he had never seen a creature more beautiful. The wind rustled her hair again, but her eyes never opened.

He hated himself. He hated that he could only make her cry. He hated that the most dangerous thing in the entire world to her was him and he hated what he was, nothing but a monster. He hated that in almost every waking moment he was tempted to kill the light of his life, his angel, Bella. And he hated that he could not give her the one thing she wanted more than anything else, even if it meant he could save himself from the darkness he known before her and keep his angel with him, forever after.

He was trying to memorize her face, so he would never ever lose her. Her eyes, her blush, her hair, her lips, everything he loved. He tried until it was etched into his mind permanently.

In that moment it came to his attention that she has goose bumps lining her arms. He could not even feel the cold that was encasing her body. He wanted to warm her, to shelter her from the rain and cold. Yet he knew he couldn't.

In that moment, more then ever in his life, he wished he was human. Someone who was worthy of her, able to warm her, even able to just touch with out difficulty. Also in that moment he had never ever hated himself more.

Bella's lips began to tremble and Edward was sure this rain was getting to her. Inside of him a fury began to rise. But her lips were not trembling from the rain but rather the words she was about to speak.

"I'm sorry Edward," she whispered into the rain. He felt his insides begin to crumble, it was all his fault. He had hurt his angel, and angels were not supposed to be hurt.

"Edward, please forgive me one day," She pleaded with him gently.

"What's wro…," Edward started to say before he was silenced with a warm finger placed upon his lips. With that, just a simple touch, everything felt right again.

"Just do it one day, please Edward, for me?" Bella's finger did not move as he nodded slowly. She stared into his eyes looking for a legit promise and when she found it she removed her finger. His lips were warm and tingly where she had touched him and he desperately tried to hold on to the sensation. She began to back away from him then, slowly. Her heart race increased as she continued moving backward away from him. Her sobs continued ripping her apart until she was full on weeping. Each sob was knife, going straight through his heart. Then she turned around and began to run deeper into the forest and away for him.

She didn't run fast, her eyes were glued to the ground, undoubtedly to avoid tripping as she ran. She maintained her slow speed without worry, for she knew if Edward did chase her, it wouldn't matter how fast she ran, he would catch her. She also never stopped crying.

He could have chased her, without any trouble, but he knew she didn't want him to. Even when she was out of sight he listened to her feet pound angrily against the wet ground, with each step Edward's heart, fell to pieces. The sounds got lighter until all he heard was a sickening snap and they stopped. But it was too soon. He had calculated the time it would take Bella to reach the road and she still had minutes ahead of her.

A white hot panic seared through his body and he waited tensely to hear another sound. Yet there was nothing but the empty and barren sound of silence. Still he waited praying for a sound. Knowing Bella the way he did he knew she would run until she felt safe, the forest had never been safe for her. That's all it took for Edward to run as fast as he could to find his angel.

He chased her scent, flitting around trees as he went. Never stopping as his eyes searched mercilessly for her. The panic only increased as he went, getting to the point where he was almost unable to breathe. Her scent got stronger and stronger, it was almost overwhelming. He had to remind himself he was not trying to hunt her, just to find her.

He came to an abrupt stop as his eyes raked over a brightly colored object. It was a shoe that was caked in the mud, Bella's shoe that was caked in the mud. His eyes followed what looked like tracks to the edge of a ditch.

"Bella!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. There was no answer so he charged on down through the ditch, sliding through the mud and past trees. He just kept on running, searching for Bella.

He smelt her before he saw her. Her scent was driving him mad but his worry was pushing the monster away. He realized the only time her scent had ever been this strong was when she was…bleeding.

"Bella!" he screamed with utter agony. He repeated it over and over again until he saw her near the bottom of the ditch, propped against a tree, with her back turned to him. Louder than ever he shouted her name and ran, as fast as his legs would let him, to her.

He gently flipped her over and she whimpered slightly.

"No Bella, oh please no! Bella please say something!" His eyes scanned her body. She had cuts everywhere opening her up along her legs, arms, and stomach. He knew all of these needed stitches, fast.

"Bella!" he yelled to her. "Bella please answer me!" But her eyes were closed and her body never moved. Fighting his thirst to the best of his ability, Edward lifted her into his arms and ran straight to hospital.

"Stay with me Bella. Stay with me, I can't lose you Bella." He felt her blood, warm and thick pouring onto him, her life spilling out of her. Her eyes never opened and she never made a sound.

He refused to stop running and to take a good look at her, he knew that there was only one person who could save her. He contemplated how bad she was in his head. Then he heard it, an acceleration in her heart beats. It was down by two beats and falling steadily. Bella, his angel, his savior from darkness, was…dying.

Crossing the road to the hospital he didn't care it he exposed himself, the only human that had ever mattered was Bella, and now he could lose her. He slowed as he ran through the doors and familiar corridors to find Carlisle.

Before Edward had even reached the office Carlisle was out in the hallway rushing towards them. They met in the middle and Carlisle turned to open a curtain. Edward rushed in the room and placed Bella on the table. They worked in silence as they removed Bella's clothes to get to the cuts. Horror washed over Edward when he saw that the forest had left no place untouched. Carlisle yelled to the nurse to bring as many bags of blood available.

They were both removing the dirt and grime and sticking antibiotics over her when the nurse came with the bags. They set up two stations, a bag for each arm. Edward bandaged the bigger cuts as Carlisle sewed the smaller ones shut. However, they didn't need a monitor to tell them they were losing her.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "Edward, she isn't going to make it."

"Stop it, she will, she always does, she can't leave me!"

"Edward if you want to save her you know what must be done."

"No."

"Edward!"

"No! Bella please say something, Bella say something! You can't leave me here. Bella…I love you too much. Please don't leave me." He grabbed her hand that was beginning to go cold within his own.

"I'm…sorry…Edward," a light and troubled voice said. "You know..I..would..stay..forever…if …I…could. I…love…you…too..I'm…sorry…and…good..bye."

"No! Bella this isn't good bye! I promise you'll make it!"

"Edward we need to act now!" Carlisle screamed at him.

"I can't!"

"You have too, or she's going, right, now," Carlisle said, full of remorse.

"I can't lose her Carlisle, I can't. Do it."

"You have to do it."

"I can't do it!" Edward screamed.

"Son, she's at twenty beats a minute it's now or never. You can choose if you want to say goodbye now, or to say hello everyday, you pick. Just remember this was her dying wish."

Carlisle went to close the curtain. Without even thinking, Edward moved her head to the side, exposing her neck and bit into it. He refused to drink, it seemed impossible, even with Carlisle keeping a hand on his back. The her heard a familiar sound and detached himself. A heartbeat, faint, but it was most definitely a heart beat. Her last, heartbeat. When it was gone he felt a hole ripping through his chest.

A few moments had passed before Carlisle said mentally," Edward get her out of here, use the back door...Oh and son, I need you to know, I'm proud of you." Edward just nodded as he picked her up and walked out of the building. He was not even off the perimeter when the screaming started. More holes appeared in his chest then, pain overflowing as he remembered what it felt like. He walked on through the ran, and now dying Bella in his hold.

Edward held out his arms and raised Bella towards the sky. The rain pounded and the sky roared with thunder. Edward knew he needed to speak to someone, someone he had not spoken to in a long time.

"God, if you're out there," Edward yelled to the sky. "Save her! Forgive me for stealing her soul, and many other's. Please, don't cause her pain for my faults. If you care about anyone, it should be her, please, save her from the darkness." With that he continued walking, the love of his life in his arms screaming with out end, and thinking of how Bella had almost slipped away. Thinking of how he would never come this close to losing her again, how he hated fate, and how he would never, ever forgive himself for killing his angel. Thinking that he would never see that glint in her eyes when he showed her something, pinkness of her lips, and the lovely blush that covered her cheeks when she was embarrassed. Her human face haunted him as he looked down and saw the almost dead one that was replacing it. Thinking that she was no longer human, just a monster, like him. Thinking now, he had only her to live for.

Thanks for telling me 1stepbehind29. Anyway I know this is sad and badly written, but I tried to write it as I envisioned it in my mind. I might change the ending again so that Bella dies(not because I want her to, even if i could get her man because of it :) but rather because in the story it was the only way to express what Edward was really feeling.