AN – This is something that I already have completely written that I wanted to share here. Since it is done already it will be updated quickly.
Hope you enjoy.
For a while there my life was idyllic, I had a man that I loved more than life itself and who loved me back. His family welcomed me with open arms and they were the large family I had always dreamed of. Edward had looks, money, a great personality, he was perfect except for one tiny thing, he was a vampire. To me it was a minor detail; to him it was a curse. It made sense that he wasn't human, no living thing could be so perfect and I never once questioned that I wanted to be with him for eternity. That is where we hit a snag; Edward agreed that he wanted to be with me for eternity, my version of it, not his. He would not even consider changing me into a vampire, even bringing the subject up brought on an afternoon of sulking, him, not me. He thought it would be the ultimate selfish act to change me, or to damn me as he considered it and he wouldn't think of doing it. His family may not have agreed with him but no one dared to go against Edward, in their eyes he knew what was best for me. For the better part of my life I felt the same way too, Edward wanted what he thought was best for me and he didn't want to take away any of my human experiences as he called them. I was so in love with him that I wanted to be with him any way that I could, he was my everything and I know I wouldn't be able to survive without him in my life so I was willing to have him any way that I could.
Life was great, we finished high school, we went away to Dartmouth together and we even got engaged and got married, it wasn't something that we could put off for too long, at some point it would be noticeable that my fiancée and his family looked amazing while I only look older and more tired. I had to admit that I did enjoy college, although I told Edward it was something that I still could have experienced as a vampire. I majored in English and truly loved every minute of it. The whole family had come with us and stayed in the house their house close to campus. Alice was my best friend in the world and Rosalie was starting to warm up to me, Emmett was the big brother I never had and Jasper was well Jasper.
After college we decided to head to Alaska after a brief visit to Forks to see Charlie and my friends. At this point it could be argued that Edward just aged very well while I had matured a bit at college. My body had filled in and I was no longer the awkward teenager I was when I first arrived in Forks. It was a bittersweet visit because I knew it would be one of the last times Edward and I could visit together. There was a point where people would start asking questions. Still I was willing to accept this to be with Edward.
As each year went by there were more and more things that I was willing to give up or accept in order to be with Edward. I couldn't get a job because we couldn't risk anyone finding out about the family and why I was married to such a younger man, I couldn't go back to high school with the family for obvious reasons, I couldn't bring him home to visit my mother or father, and I couldn't make love to my husband because he didn't trust himself not to hurt me. He was always strictly in control of our physical relationship; we could never go past his carefully constructed limits. Yet I still agreed, still accepted him always being in control.
I had given up on pressuring him to change me, it was a futile argument. There was nothing that was going to sway him and I didn't want to anger him for fear that he would realize that he could do better. I still couldn't bring myself to believe that I deserved him and that he wouldn't find someone better suited to him.
Then one day as I was approaching my 30th birthday something changed. I had gone to the doctor for a routine yearly exam and my world came crashing down upon me. Once again I was thankful that Edward couldn't read my mind because all that he would hear would be two words over and over again; cervical cancer. The doctors words just bounced around in my head, I could only pick out certain words when he was talking…chemotherapy, hysterectomy, never have children, aggressive. I walked out in a daze, not sure of where I was going to go when suddenly Edward was by my side. He held me as I cried and I realized that I wouldn't need to tell him anything, Alice already had. I'm not sure how long we sat there as I cried until there was nothing left in me. Edward guided me to his car and held my hand as we drove home in silence. I looked out the window as I thought of my life to date, wondering if I would have changed anything, if there was anything that I regretted.
When we got home I told Edward that I needed to be alone and went up to our room. I saw the family waiting in the living room but I couldn't face them right now, I knew that Alice had already filled them in. Edward gave me a hug and a kiss before I went upstairs, holding me to him as tight as he dared and headed to talk to the family. As I laid on the bed thinking I could hear them downstairs moving around and talking in their low musical voices. I knew they were talking about what was the best thing to do giving the new circumstances in my life, I knew my humanity would be a central topic of discussion and suddenly it became clear to me. It was ironic to me that in Edward's quest to not steal away any of my human experiences he had stolen my life. I had given up a career, friends, my family, and a person who could love me physically the way I yearned to be loved. He had put himself firmly in control of what was best for me and I had accepted it as love without question. Every day I moved closer to death and that was the price he was willing to pay to ease his conscience.
As I was sorting through all of this there was a light knock on our door. He called my name gently and opened the door.
"Bella, we need to talk," he came over and held my hand. "We have been talking downstairs and think that we have a solution." I leaned my head to the side, wondering how the Cullen family had miraculously come up with the cure for cancer in the hour that they had been talking. "Bella, my love, we think that the best thing to do would be to change you."
My head shot up in surprise, change me, the thing that I had begged for for years on end before I had finally given up all hope. All it took was getting cancer to make them see the light; apparently they were willing to let me die just not this soon. Edward looked at me with a smile on his face, like he was giving me a present and all I had for him was one word.
"No!"
More coming soon. Let me know what you are thinking so far. Thanks!