Torchwood is breaking. Cracks are running from tip to end and splintering across the bow. We were all the supports of the great Torchwood structure. And losing two, we toppled.
Owen, the medic, the soul of Torchwood, out in a blaze of glorious white light, left the body to crumble. No feeling in his bones and now no feeling in theirs. No remarks that made everyone cringe and laugh at the same time. No more looks across the hub that were just to annoy the recipient. No more complaining about alien dissecting. No more Owen.
Tosh, the scientist, the brain of Torchwood, out with blood and wound, left the body without direction, purposeless. No cleverness gilding around the hub. No small smiles directed at anyone. No more lectures about alien activity. No more calls across the board room, trying to get their attention. No more accidental lock down programs. No more Tosh.
Even with Jack, Gwen and Ianto, holding on. Even with the hearts of Torchwood with them, the wounds were too great. Even with Rhys, offering assistance and John, giving them support, they were falling.
If a part of the body leaves then the integral design is wrong and the body begins to slow and finally stop. Torchwood is at its weakest, crawling on their hands and knees. No one knows if they will indeed, come back stronger from this. No one knows if they'll ever come back from it.
Jack doesn't know why he let it hit him so hard. He lost members in the past that were close to him. He lost the whole of his team one time. He held most of them while they were dying. Two got burned up by radiation. Four were shot. It's nothing new to him, especially as he is surrounded by his own death, all the time.
But something here is different. He feels like he knew these people better than before. Sure they knew more about him than any other Torchwood team, but he didn't know more about them. He always kept himself away from them, apart from one or two who he let in because he needed someone to talk to. Neither Owen nor Tosh had been one of those. They had been ordinary, human. And he had destroyed them.
It's a plague. A swarm of insect barring down on them all, ready to tear them apart. No one can focus, no one can concentrate. It's just a matter of time before another of them dies.
Another life that has been taken.
Another soul in hell.
Another body in the morgue.
"One of these days we'll run out of space."