Disclaimer Nazis: The intergalactic federation of copyright laws says that even in the past you're not allowed to steal ideas, names, or products. So unfortunately I don't own Metroids, Space Pirates, Samus or any related ideas, they own themselves. I mean, Nintendo does. Yes. Of course. shifty glance

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"Dear Sanna Claws,

I have been a very bad Space Pirate this year. I shot twelve classmates during shooting practice and said some very nasty things about the Hunter's mother.

That being kept in mind I have a list of items which I want for Ridmas. Please note the size and color of every item."

Young Headripper stopped typing. He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted for Ridmas this year. There were so many cool new things coming out. He decided to watch some commercials on the vidscreen to get an idea of what he wanted. On the vidscreen A Hideous Life was playing. It was one of Headripper's favorite holiday movies. After about twenty minutes he had a relatively good idea of what the media thought he "couldn't live a fulfilling life without." It was time to get back to work on his Ridmas list.

"This year for Ridmas I want

An Omega Pirate Action Figure (the new one with real phazon glowing parts)

An Inter-dimensional cell phone (one of those Horizon ones)

An Interactive VidSphere (with five control waves, and the new "Hunt the Hunter" game)

Money

A lifetime supply of Blueroot candies (including all kinds made by Hehimm's)"

Headripper stopped again. He couldn't list any of the kinds of Blueroot candy Hehimm's made. He decided it would be best to let Mr. Claws decide. In fact, it might be best to see what he could come up with.

"And finally anything else you think I might need.

Hoping your firstborn tastes good,

Headripper"

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A the afternote, a source of pain, frustration, amusement, and peace. Not that that makes sense, but whatever. I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't celebrate christmas. I'm an atheist, so whatever. This is playing on the commercial aspects. note also that this was the first thing I've ever written with a beta reader o.O