As promised I have decided to write a fanfic that takes place after the Half Blood Prince book. I am going to add chapters to Surviving Without Sirius every now and again so that events that transpire in this story make more sense. I don't like the way I left the previous fic off. Right, let's see if I can actually do this. This chapter is more of a prologue to this fanfic, taking place shortly after professor Dumbledore's funeral.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. is owned and trademarks of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Inc. I own only the attempt of a plot in this story and any additional fictional characters that might appear from my previous fanfic (ie Reace Myrn).

II

An eerie silence had settled in all lands around the world. One in particular had a silence with the tinge of death hanging all around. All happiness seemed to have been sucked out of the people in the area. At the moment it was late at night and everybody was huddled in the castle that had been built on the land centuries earlier. The people within shivered, but it was not entirely because they were cold, but also because of a feeling of unease that permeated the air. Tensions were high and nerves frayed. The castle of Hogwarts was still encompassed by a sense of grief at the recent loss of their beloved headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

The murder of one of the greatest wizards of all time had shocked the wizarding world and many mourned his loss. The students, as well as teaching staff, under his care missed him tremendously and none more so than Harry Potter, 'the boy who lived'. Many students had been removed from Hogwarts and taken to the 'safety' of their homes by worried parents. Some still stayed on as they waited to be carted off to their various places of dwelling. Formal classes were no longer being held and teachers were in classrooms to in case there were any questions from students. They were there at this present time to be listening ears, give advice and well wishes for the future.

Harry Potter at this moment was lying awake in his bed. Harry had been the first person to go to bed that evening and had pretended to be asleep as Ron entered earlier and checked if he was awake or not. Harry didn't want to speak to many people at the moment. His mind was in constant turmoil and he feared for the future and especially his friends. It seemed to him that everybody that he had so far allow to become close to him has wound up dead or hurt.

Sirius Black, his Godfather, had died as he tried to protect Harry and a few loyal members of 'Dumbledore's Army' from being killed at the hands of deatheaters under the lead of Draco Malfoy's father. Both Ron and Hermione had been hurt while trying to help him and Ginny was nearly killed in his second year as Tom Riddle tried to get at Harry by sucking the life force out of Ginny. Now, somebody whom he had also viewed as a secondary father figure was now dead. Professor Dumbledore had sacrificed himself to keep Harry out of harms way. This played terribly on Harry's conscience, as he would have nightmares of Sirius dying followed by the image of a weak and frail Dumbledore dying soon after.

An image that never really left Harry was the staring dead eyes of professor Dumbledore as he had lain spread eagled on the ground. Those eyes would never be filled with any emotion again, the familiar twinkle in his eyes that had been such a prominent characteristic of his is now forever gone, never to shine again. Harry felt frustrated at what had occurred by he knew that his principle had gladly given his life for him, so that he, Harry, might live and see this situation through to the end.

The curtains of the windows had been drawn and suddenly flashed as lightning flashed across the sky. After a few seconds a dull thunder rumbled indicating that the bolt of lightning had struck far away. Harry sat up in his bed and looked around the room, which he shared with Ron, Seamus and Dean. Seamus and Dean had been taken home immediately after the Dumbledore's funeral. Ron was the only one left with him in the room and he was fast asleep. Just to make this a certain fact Ron gave off one of his characteristic snores that always indicated that he was in a deep sleep.

Harry pushed the covers that he had been lying under off of him and went to stand in front of the window. He drew one of the curtains aside and peered outside. He was momentarily startled as he saw a pair of eyes looking back at him but he quickly realized that it was only his reflection staring back at him. He turned his back on the window and his image. Lately he did not seeing his own image. While standing with his back to the window another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky and momentarily illuminated the room. A magazine was sticking out a little from under his trunk.

Going to where he had seen it he managed to lift his trunk up and pull the magazine free. It was a wizarding magazine and one of its main articles was about Harry. The title of the article read 'The boy who lived, Harry Potter, Reveals All!' It was one of the magazines that decided that he was sane after all in his fifth year when Lunas Lovegood's father's magazine, 'The Quibbler', had published Harry's recollection of the events that had transpired at the cemetery where he saw Cedric Diggory die and where he saw Voldemort reborn.

"The boy who lived. It'll probably be 'the boy who died' soon enough." Harry quietly said to himself.

He dropped the magazine on the top of his trunk and felt penned in. He knew that he teachers would have a fit if he left the safety of the castle, but right now that was exactly what he needed. Harry started looking for his father's cloak and soon found it tucked away in his trunk. But he had unsettled some dust and sneezed as the dust particles irritated his nose. Soon his nose started running and he silently cursed his poor luck. He had hardly been sleeping for a while now and the result was that he had developed a runny nose as a result. He sighed, being tired sucked but having to put up with his sinuses playing tricks on him as well was just plain horrible.

He put his school robes on and then wrapped himself in the invisibility cloak. Quietly he made his way out of the boys' dormitories and past Hermione who had fallen asleep amidst a pile of books in the Gryffindor common room. Thankfully the portrait containing the Fat Lady swung open without a hitch and she did not even stir in her slumber. Taking out the Marauders Map Harry tapped it with the tip of his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He said and immediately the map sprang to life with many dots with names attached to them.

Filch was currently in his office, doing who knows what, Mrs. Norris was patrolling near the Owlery and Peeves was bouncing around in a classroom. That meant that he had a clear path to the front doors of the castle seeing as the main people or creatures that he had to avoid were preoccupied elsewhere. Most of the students were in their common rooms and the teachers in their offices. Both quickly and quietly he made his way to the front doors and slipped silently out.

He was hit by a rather strong gust of wind that blew the invisibility cloak off of his head. His face was soaked by the accompanying wind and he shivered a little at the cold. Replacing the cloak over his head and making sure that he had a firmer grip on the cloak he made his way down the steps that lead to the front doors. It was colder outside than he had expected but he felt more at ease out here than inside the castle tossing and turning in a futile attempt to try and sleep. He sniffed as his sinuses continued to bother him in an attempt to tell him that his body was exhausted.

Harry reached the path that lead up to the steps and immediately veered off of it and walked on the grass. It was here, in the peace and silence of the rain, that he wanted to try and clear his mind. Life was very unfair in his opinion. Again his mind wondered to the title of the magazine he had looked at earlier. The words 'The Boy who lived' popped up in his mind. For days he had been in deep thought and wondered as to why so many people should have to suffer on his account. It seemed to him that he had only been this living miracle to soon become a sacrificial lamb. To defeat Voldemort would surely mean his death. Pain and suffering were what followed him. And worst of all was now that he had finally found Ginny he had to force himself to distance her from him!

It all felt so wrong! Every part of his being screamed for him to go to her and tell her that everything would be all right and that they could be together. But his logical and more sensible part of his brain knew that this was wrong. It was this part that was in control at the present. Should something happen to her, well, Harry didn't know what he would do. It seemed that he was just not meant to be happy in life, because every time he discovered something that brought him joy it was ripped away from him.

Another gust of wind blew up and Harry fought for the invisibility cloak to remain on his head. He sniffed again and then suddenly released his grip a little allowing the cloak to fall off of his head again. He stared up into the rain wincing a little as drops fell in his eyes. Within moments his entire head was soaked. While he knew it wasn't in his best interests to become soaked he felt calmed as the rain fell off of his face. But he quickly regained his senses and replaced the invisibility cloak over his head. He sneezed and knew that he shouldn't have soaked his head. He couldn't help suppressing a grin as he imagined Hermione and Ginny reprimanding him and saying that he should be resting and not doing this.

With his head clearer than earlier Harry made his way back to the castle and made his way up the stairs. Before entering through the large doors he took out the Marauders Map and quickly scanned it. Once more luck was on his side as there was again nobody in his direct path to the Gryffindor common room. Silently he made his way to the Gryffindor common room and soon found himself standing before the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Secular Vista." Harry said and waited.

"Huh? What's that? Secular Vista? Yeah, that's the password." The Fat Lady mumbled as she swung open and went back to sleep.

Harry entered and saw that Hermione was no longer asleep but wide-awake and staring right where he stood. He with all of his might that she didn't know that he was there.

"Rather late for a walk isn't it Harry? Not the best weather to be outside in either mind you." Hermione said still peering right at him.

"How did you know it was me? And how did you know that I had been outside?" Harry asked with a sigh and removed the invisibility cloak and heading towards her.

"It's not really that difficult Harry. First off, why on earth would the portrait to our common room swing open and then close with nobody going through or going out? It could only be you under your invisibility cloak Harry, I've seen you do it enough in the past." Hermione said with a hint of a smile on her face.

"Very good, I guess I should expect no less from you. But you've still not answered my second question Hermione, care to answer that for me?" Harry asked as he pulled up a chair next to Hermione and sat facing her.

"Harry, that was the easiest part. It's pouring outside and a small puddle of water formed out of thin air right where you stood." Hermione said with a full smile on her face.

"Well, I guess there's no getting detail past you. You know, you'd make a good auror Hermione." Harry said and let out a long, slow and audible sigh.

"Thanks Harry, but we all know that you'd be the best. It's just like I told you in the past, there is only so much that can be learnt from books. You've got plenty of talent and are strong in the field of magic and fighting the dark arts. You will be a powerful wizard one day Harry." Hermione said blushing a little.

"One day, what is that day never arrives?" Harry asked aloud instead of merely thinking it.

"Don't speak like that Harry. We'll get through this. You have Ron, myself and many others that are ready to help you Harry!" Hermione said a note of worry entering her voice.

"Don't worry Hermione, I'm just tired, I hear what you say and appreciate it. You guys have helped me through more than one predicament involving Voldemort." Harry said trying to veer away from this topic.

The two sat in an awkward silence for a while. Harry sat staring ahead of him thinking about what life could have been like had he not suddenly been chosen by Voldemort to be the one spoken of in the prophecy. Had Voldemort chosen Neville and not he, Harry, then he could be sitting with his family and probably with Ginny. He wished he could be with her. Hermione broke his train of thought as she suddenly spoke.

"Harry, are you alright?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, just tired I guess." Harry lamely replied.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you Harry?" Hermione asked, once again reading him like a book.

"Am I that transparent?" Harry asked not even trying to lie about what he was thinking about.

"Harry, I know it must be difficult. Just as you two openly admit how you feel about one another and now this. It's perfectly understandable you not staying together with Ginny though. You don't want to put her in harms way." Hermione said truly feeling sorry for Harry.

"Well, that's just my life I guess. One big let down after another." Harry said trying to make light of the subject.

"So, when are you going to go home Hermione? School is over, no more classes this school year." Harry asked her preventing another awkward silence from beginning.

"I leave to go home tomorrow. But I won't be there for too long because Ron has asked me to visit him at the burrow. It's going to be Fleur and Bills wedding after all. You are going to stay at the burrow these holidays won't you?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm going to be there. I just need to spend a week or two at my delightful aunt and uncle's place. Joy." Harry replied.

"But, I didn't think that you would need to go there anymore?" Hermione asked a puzzled expression settling on her face.

"Well, it's to keep my word to professor Dumbledore. There are still magics that have been placed there by him that will have protective effects on me until I become of age. So, when I turn seventeen I will never have to go back there again. It's strange really, because had he still been alive I probably wouldn't have willingly gone back there…." Harry trailed off and looked at his lap.

"It's because you're being loyal to him Harry. There's nothing wrong in that." Hermione said a sympathetic smile on her face.

"I wish he weren't gone." Harry muttered and looked up to see Hermione's eyes welling up with tears.

"Me too Harry, me to." Hermione said taking a silken handkerchief out from amidst her robes and dabbing her eyes.

"Well, I think that I'm going to go back and really sleep this time. I think you've studied enough Hermione." Harry said, not really wanting to speak any more, and got to his feet.

"Good night Harry. Pleasant dreams." Hermione said as she too got up and made her way to her own dormitory.

"You too Hermione." Harry replied and hastened to his dormitory.

All was quiet as he quietly crept into his room and immediately he heard Ron give a loud snort. Harry smiled a little at this because this meant that his friend was still deeply immersed in his sleep. Harry got changed into some drier clothing and got into bed. But, as per usual, sleep did not come to him. A little voice in his head started to speak.

"You're always going to be alone you know."

"I have Ron, Hermione, Ginny and my other friends." Harry replied.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. The one you care dearly about is so close yet so far." The voice said.

"I know."

"Interesting thing Hermione said earlier though."

"She means well. Of course she can't know what it's like to finally get the person you care about and by choice break up with them." Harry said.

"You should try getting some sleep, you're hearing voices." The voice said with a chuckle.

Harry didn't make any reply. As he started drifting off into sleep one thought remained in his head and he voiced it out aloud.

"This is going to be an interesting final year."

II

A/N Right all, that's where I'm leaving this chapter, or rather prologue. I hope it wasn't too boring and that the writing flowed smoothly enough for any who read it to follow. I'll update as soon as I can, though this might prove to be difficult due to responsibilities and my exams. Actually, I'm right exams tomorrow and the two days after that. Best get to studying. Thanks to any who took the time to read and a bigger thanks to those who decide to review!

Cheers

Lost in A World of Pain