Tobi, stop messing with space-time

by Lord of Forgetfulness

In which a brush, an inkpot and a paper were truly more powerful than a sharp blade and a fire in all situations, and a man with no real clue of what was he doing changed the fate of the multiverse forever. Or, an amusing way to discharge my frustrations about the hot mess that is the narutoverse timeline while I try to write another story. Crack, drabbles, dubious update times.

1. Chapter 1

"Wait, hold up." Said the younger brother, as he extended a hand towards his older brother to stop Hashirama's ranting. Wine red eyes met brown, and for a moment the cheery attitude of the first Hokage was gone. Then it came back, with a tone of cheekiness underneath.

"What, Tobi?" Hashirama started, "does it make you feel old, now, granduncle?"

"No. What I meant is that you're speaking rubbish." Blandly stated Tobirama, and proceeded to signal to his brother's wife, a very noticeable bulge in her midsection. "Just look at Mito. She's still pregnant with your first child." And then signalled to the blonde toddler running around with a big wad of ryo. "that means that she, cannot be your granddaughter."

Tobirama was suspicious of his older brother. To go as far as kidnap a child to make her treat him as a grandfather was a worrying sign of the first Hokage's mental health. Maybe all that paperwork got into his head or something.

Hashirama was just confused, but he still patted Tsunade's head when she came closer calling "Jiji, jiji". He was sure this kid was his granddaughter, but Tobi's observations always made his head hurt.

Mito was still blissfully unaware of this development as she was taking her midday nap.

There was a movement in the bushes nearby, from where a badly concealed Kakuzu mused in his head "Is it now that's my turn?"

Tobirama turned towards him and said, "Not yet, I've yet to kill Izuna" Looking back at his brother, then continued "Though Hashirama has already fought Madara in the Valley of the End… and I still ask what the reason was for that? Damn Uchihas."

Kakuzu shrugged. "I don't know man; my mission was just to kill the strongest man in the world, not to make sense of any of this."

A/N: So, yes, after some days of insanity and fun things while trying to make sense and order the timeline it occurred to me that I needed to vent some frustration about it and some funny scenarios popped on my head, and this one was plastered in a page of word to live for the rest of eternity on my hard drive, and now, on the mess that is the internet. It's non-edited, and probably never will. In the past I would never have posted this thing, but I can't really bring myself to care now.